


Of Ocean Tides and Pine Trees

by TayTay123456



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Phasing and Drama, Racism, Romance, Sexual Situations, Slowly Growing Up, offensive language, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 123,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TayTay123456/pseuds/TayTay123456
Summary: Bella is torn between heart and mind, right and wrong, and life and death. She struggles to define loyalty, trust, and love. Can any one exist without the other? This is a story about growth and teenage love in all its ordinarily extraordinary beauty. Werewolves and vampires abound, of course. Team Jacob. Cullen friendly. Finished, edited, and being updated daily. Rated M.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Bella Swan
Comments: 53
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for any person who gives this story a chance.

Prologue

Love wasn't a logical sensation. It was a multi-faceted thing filled with layers of contradiction. It defied all sense and yet was somehow clearly understandable without explanations. It was cold and warm, thrilling and peaceful, somber and silly, dark and light. I had spent eighteen years of my life walking around in a muted bubble, completely separated from the people around me. Love was something I had never touched. Tasted. Or wanted.

Then, I moved to Forks. It was Edward who introduced me to some nuance of that addictive sensation. It was Edward who opened the door to a world of wonder and terror. And it was Edward who left me stranded without a backwards glance.


	2. Chapter One

The light was fading. I noticed that despite my chaotic mind. My limbs trembled like a weak sapling in a storm. _That's what I was_ , I thought in disgust, _weak and too human._ As I stumbled through thick grass and dead leaves, I tripped over uneven ground and hit the dirt with a dull thud.

I didn't bother getting back up.

Tim passed. My mind was stuck in mud. Thick, black mud. I needed to get up, to find my way home and back to Charlie. My eyes were burning and it wasn't until I felt the icy tracks on my cheeks that I realized I was crying.

Through blurry eyes, I gazed at the trees as they whipped about in the icy wind. I turned and rested my body on its side before bringing my knees up to my chest. My ears rang with the messy sounds of my sobs. My hands dug deeply into the dark mulch underneath me. I drowned in memories of Edward until my sobs began to die out and my breathing became shallow.

At some point, the pain eased enough so that I felt the cold of my body and the dampness of dirt seeping into my clothes. My eyes felt heavy and swollen. My dirty hands were clumsy with cold. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and swept at my blurry eyes before standing. I felt completely dazed as I looked around. Slowly, I turned in a small circle. I had no idea where I was or which direction would lead me back home. _To Charlie. I have to find Charlie. He needs me, if no one else does._

More hot tears trickled down my cheeks. I began walking hesitantly in the direction I thought I had come from. The sky was a dark gray color, fading to a dark blue. The early night showed no moonlight. I stumbled onward and wrapped my arms around my stomach, making sure to keep my bulky jacket tightly around my body. About a mile later, after falling to my knees many times, I came to a denser section of the forest. I bit my bottom lip and squinted into the darkness. It was a useless attempt that lead me to sitting on a wet, rotten log. I took a deep breath and shivered as a gust of wind danced through the trees once more. I winced and let out a single sob when thoughts of Edward started to fill my mind again. _He left me here. He doesn't want me._

My hands shook as I stood. My heart felt as if it was ripping to pieces, but I knew it was too dangerous for me not to take action. I focused pointedly on putting one foot in front of the other and slowly, carefully, made my way in a random direction that I hoped would bring me to a road. _Stupid, Bella. So Stupid._

I had gone forward for quite a while and had spent plenty of energy on worrying about Charlie's state of mind, when my right foot slipped out from underneath me. I went down hard on my butt and started to slide down an unseen embankment. I groped blindly in the dark for any vegetation to hold onto, but found none. I rolled once. Then twice before landing abruptly with a loud yelp. Shockingly cold water filled my jacket and drenched the front of my body.

I was stunned for a long moment. I simply stayed, body frozen, in the slushy water until the cold burned painfully through my back and across the nape of my neck. My eyes stung when opened, so I kept them closed. Eventually I put a thought together inside my stunned mind. _I couldn't die out here. I couldn't let Charlie live with that._

Somehow, I made myself stand. I demanded my puffy eyes to stay open and forced myself out of the soaked jacket, which I left lying on the wet ground. I took shallow breaths as the air around me turned to white puffs. Winter would begin in a few short weeks and the Olympian forest was not the place to be at night fall.

As I looked ahead blankly, I spent minutes forcing myself to calm down. I desperately searched for any life-line I could. _Charlie. Charlie. Renee. Charlie and Renee. My parents. They need me. Find the house, Bella._

I pressed my fingers against my temples and squeezed my eyes shut. A sudden shell, a guard of some sort, fell over me. I would live. I could be with Charlie. He was lonely without me. I made him happier. I reminded myself over and over and over that I was going to see Charlie. With every step I took I whispered, "Dad, Dad."

When I finally noticed how late it was getting, how dark it truly was, I beat down the growing panic. I needed a shelter of some sort because walking through the forest grounds at night would only end up with a broken bone. Finding a huge tree nearby, I climbed and slipped many times before putting myself on the massive low branches.

Fears of bugs and night creatures had me keeping my eyes peeled, although my human eyes did very little to help me. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face because of the darkness. Fear of my father, Chief of Police, sending the whole force out on a search had my mind wide awake. Physical pain from all my falls had my body willing for rest. I ignored the pain, or tried to. So many pains from so many places had me wincing constantly. I fought for a grip on my thoughts again. A story had to be made for Charlie. When I saw Charlie, called Renee and checked in, then I could find a quiet place and cry. Just not yet.

With darkness and cold surrounding me, I began to fall in a fitful sleep in the crook of a tree branch. I dreamed of golden eyes, of red eyes. Of vampires perched in tree tops, hunting me and thirsting for my blood. I dreamed of howling dogs, of forests that were deep and filled with secret monsters. People called my name, some in a panic, some in fierceness. They were far away, being slaughtered and killed by those red eyes. I didn't save them.

A startling cry had me gasping and sitting up straight. I peered into the pitch black of a forest night, shaking the sleep from my slow brain. I noticed the light gray of early morning just beginning to peek through the tops of the towering trees. I realized it was dawn.

I shook myself off and began dusting my filthy hands on my even filthier jeans before scooting down branches. My fingertips slipped and I tumbled down. The short fall from the branch was blunt and had a very hard impact. While sucking in short gasps of air, I heard a piercing howl. It was as if the sound froze my blood. I barely breathed as I listened to the noises of the forest. Wolves. I was in their home territory.

Scrambling, I tore up the tree and clung to a branch. Eyes squinting, I looked through the foliage. A wolf pack was close enough for me to hear them and that was too close for me. How was I to find my way home with them around? In the back of my mind I knew an angry wolf was worse than an angry Bella. I continued my thoughts on wolves as the morning light became brighter. I wondered how long Charlie had searched for me, wondered if he got any sleep, wondered where he was and who all cared enough to look for me.

I tried not to think about who left me in the forest in the first place and did my best to bottle the emotions away. I had one goal and that was to get back to Charlie. With a sigh, I climbed and slipped down the branch. My trek was slow and I stumbled often, but eventually I found a pattern and a big stick to hold me up and keep my feet going. A short time later, I heard another howl and stopped in my tracks. I dropped my stick and scrambled to find a tree. Another howl sounded closer, maybe just outside the thick vegetation beyond my eyesight. I latched on to a branch and tried pulling myself up.

It took several tries before I finally managed it. Just as I started to scramble up the trunk of the tree, I began to hear scurrying in the nearby shrubbery. I held my breath and hung dangerously. I waited, hearing nothing, before scooting myself around thick limbs full of leaves. My eyes slowly scanned the thick greenery.

My name being yelled in piercingly loud volumes made me jump and gasp. I listened to more voices call for me. They were deep and definitely male. All unfamiliar. They came closer and closer. I sucked in a deep breath, felt my lungs sting, and yelled, "I'm over here!"

Just as I said it another voice bellowed my name at the top of his lungs. Then, the only sounds to be heard were pounding feet. I started sliding down the rough tree just as three russet-skinned men bounded through the thicket of shrubbery to my left. One was taller than the other two. Bizarrely, all three were shirtless and bare footed. They had bulging muscles and fierce expressions. I stared. As they jogged forward, I saw they all had a tribal tattoo on their right shoulder. _The Reservation. La Push._

The tallest one, who looked to be in his early thirties, caught my waist as my fingers slipped from a branch. My shirt went up and my stomach scrapped across the rough bark. A hiss of pain came from my lips as the man set me down. He kept both hands on my shoulders as three sets of eyes roamed over me as if checking for injuries. Finally, I managed a shaky explanation. "I'll be fine if you could take me to Charlie, please. My dad. Chief Swan."

"I'm Sam Uley." The tall man spoke formally, "I speak for the Elders of La Push. Bella, can you walk? Are you hurt in any way?"

"I can walk." I nodded. I looked at the men and added, "Thanks."

Sam spoke slowly and walked even slower, almost as if I was a child in need of hovering. I followed as best I could with the two other men behind me. "You are pretty far out and nearly the whole town has been searching for you."

I winced and mumbled, "I was afraid of that. Charlie's probably freaked out."

"His daughter was missing and in danger." Sam rumbled while giving me an odd look. One man spoke up. His tone was so serious. "There are things that are very dangerous in this forest."

I hurriedly look away from them both. I muttered, "I found that out lately."

We went most of the way in silence, so I spent plenty of time focusing on the strangely muscled and mostly naked men beside me. I wondered if they were actually a gang of whackos, considering their lack of clothing in a wintery forest. When they first made their appearance, their looks made me think they were from the Reservation. Sam's introduction only proved my theory. I knew Charlie had many friends there and had likely recruited everyone he knew in his search for me. Exhausted, I resigned myself to staying with the three half-naked men and hoping they wouldn't harm me.

The men- the other two were named Paul and Jared- formed a pattern. Sam walked directly in front of me while Paul and Jared each stayed on polar sides to keep me boxed in. Their long legs ate up the uneven ground in strides that made me jealous. They were barefoot, which somehow made everything worse for me. I fumbled often. I would trip, they would catch me. I would trip, they would catch me. Repeatedly. After a long while I asked, "Where is Charlie?"

"He was searching the area of forest around your house." Paul said. His words were terse. I pretended not to notice when Sam cut him a look out of the corner of his eyes. Sam added, "He and a few officers searched late last night until early morning, but found nothing but footprints of you that deteriorated because of the rain."

"Oh..." I replied and focused on walking a bit faster. Paul seemed impatient and Jared seemed bored. Sam finally said, "We're nearly there, Bella."

"Nearly where...?" I mumbled, embarrassed.

Sam replied, "To your home. About another five minutes."

"Thank you again, Sam." I turned my head, avoided Paul and Jared's eyes and added, "Thank you both as well."

"Were you hurt out in those woods by anyone?" Paul asked abruptly.

I opened my mouth and gaped like a fish. I stuttered, "N-nobody was with me."

"Come on." Sam took my arm and pulled me forward. Irritated, I tried pulling out of his hold. In the end, I had no choice but to follow. Once we broke out of the tree line, I sighed. There was my wonderfully little two-story house. The multiple police cruisers in the driveway and four-wheelers in the yard made me blush. So did the officers in uniform calling out for Charlie. They began pulling out walkie-talkies to call in their fellow officers. "She's okay!" Sam called.

My head turned in the direction of a brown pickup truck. I saw several four-wheelers and buggies. There were many dark-skinned men and women nearby. I guessed they were all from the Reservation as well. A line of them stood around a pickup, all looking at me now. Tanned skin, black hair. Somber faces. Some young and some old. I only recognized two of the older men by name; Harry Clearwater and Billy Black. Next to Billy stood his son, Jacob, who I had shown me how to drive my truck months before when I first moved to Forks. He looked as if he were about to throw up. I felt horrible.

Paul and Jared walked past Sam and went directly to Billy and Harry. I turned my attention back to Sam. I mumbled, "Sorry, Sam, I didn't mean to cause you or your friends any trouble. I got mixed up, lost my way..."

Sam came to a halt halfway across my yard, so I did the same. He looked at me with intense eyes before replying, "If anything hurt you out there, I want you to know I can help you."

"That's kind." I spoke quietly, "Nothing happened, though. I got lost in the trees. Wandered off the trail. I was upset because…Well, it was stupid of me."

I heard my name being called frantically. I glanced to see Charlie jumping out of his cruiser and hurrying toward me. Blushing, I turned back to the odd and intimidating stranger who saved me. He was very tall. Abnormally so.

Sam spoke firmly and just as quietly, "Don't lie to me, Bella Swan. You didn't get those bruises from nothing. You got it from something. I know the company you keep. We all do."

My body felt as if it had been covered in icy water. Before Sam could say more, Charlie was there and holding me against his shirt. I felt his quiet sobs ruffling my hair. Sam reassured him I was alright. I glared at the odd man and wrapped my arms around my father. I began to rub at his back.

"Bella!" He pulled away, took my hands, and asked, "Where are you hurt at?"

Distracted, I watched Sam stalk to the brown pickup truck, lean down, and begin talking to Billy Black and Harry Clearwater. I replied, "Dad, I'm a little banged up and bruised, but a shower and sleep will fix that."

"Where did you go?" Charlie asked firmly as he led me through the officers and to the brown truck. Wise eyes that held too much knowledge were looking at me from the La Push group. I tried not to let myself feel uneasy about Sam and his friends, but I felt suspicious nonetheless. Charlie, along with help from Sam, lifted me by the elbows. I found myself sitting on the hood of the pickup with entirely too many people around. I protested and was ignored thoroughly.

Charlie said, "Thank you, boys, I'll come into the station late tomorrow morning. Chuck, take care of things for me." He turned back to me as two uniformed officers nodded and walked off. Charlie set a hand on top of my own and asked, "What happened, Bella?"

Billy. Harry. Sam. Those other two men- Paul and Jared. They were all looking. I explained in a watery voice, "I was completely stupid, Dad. I didn't mean to cause trouble."

I looked down at my filthy jeans. I mumbled, "I ran off, got lost. Fell down."

I gestured to my muddy clothes and arms. I looked at the bruise on my shoulder and added, "I must have gotten this when I slid down a hill."

"Isabella." Charlie spoke so sternly that I startled. With wide eyes, I stared at him in surprise. He grimly said, "You have a bruise on your face. Did that boy hit you? Hurt you?"

I jolted in shock once more. Everything was spinning. Sam Uley's words were repeating in my head, banging around in my skull as he gazed at me knowingly.

I wrapped my arms around my shivering body and croaked, "You think Edward did this. No…he…you…"

I shook my head so fast and so feverishly that I became dizzy. I pictured his angelic face. His beauty. His grace. Embarrassing tears slid down my cheeks and hysteria started to set in again. "Dad! No! That isn't what happened."

Charlie cursed and the uncharacteristic sound had me flinching. He snapped, "Damn it, Bella. Don't cover for him. His family up and took off. His father resigned at the hospital out of the blue and all the Cullen kids got pulled out of school the day before you end up in the woods, missing. You come back covered in bruises and ruined clothes."

Charlie's mouth trembled as he huffed, "I'll track that boy down. I'll drag him back to Forks, kicking and screaming. Just tell me what happened, Isabella."

I shook my head, tears leaking down my cheeks. I spoke fast and slurred, "Dad, I swear Edward didn't hurt me. The bruises are from falling. I told you that I fell…"

Through my blurry vision I saw Sam still glaring with bitterly dark eyes. I wiped at my tears and glared back. After only a moment, my eyes left his because I caught sight of restless fidgeting just behind the truck to my left. It was Billy Black's son, Jacob. The kind kid who was nice to the new girl. The little boy I barely remembered. We stared at each other and the look in his eyes was so different from the pitiful glances I was getting from everyone else.

Before I had time to wonder about that, Charlie wrapped me in his arms. I held on and made myself stop crying. I whispered, "I just need to get cleaned up…"

"Okay, baby, okay." He cooed, "Let's just get you checked out by the doctor first." I tried protesting but Sam spoke up, "Don't try it, Bella. The doctor needs to make sure you're healthy."

My eyes were still blurred, but I glared at him with a strong sense of irritation and dislike. I caught Jacob Black doing the same thing. It seemed at least one person here disliked Sam Uley as much as I did, so I decided to look straight at Jacob instead of anyone else. A woman with long, black hair stepped forward with a weathered, leather bag. She wore her hair in a thick braid and seemed vaguely familiar. Charlie had to pry my fists loose from his jacket before the doctor could maneuver herself closer to me.

She was a friend of Charlie's, named Sue Clearwater and the wife of one of Charlie's best friends, Harry. The woman was middle aged, but pretty in a subtle way. She had signature jet-black hair and red-russet skin. What little I could recall about her from my earliest years was kind smiles.

Sue set a big bag down on the tailgate of the truck, un-latched it, and pulled out bottles of different shapes, sizes, and colors. I caught a label on one of them and gulped when I smelt the brown bottle that Sue opened. She poured the clear liquid on a white pad and then softly cleaned the dirt off my face. Sue asked, "Did you injury yourself in any other way than these bruises, Bella?"

I muttered, "Just aches."

"Minor aches?" She asked as she put the brown bottle away and opened a small black one. A dark, gooey gel smelled like tar. She coated her fingers. I sighed, "Yes. What is that?"

"It's an antibacterial cleaner and has natural healing elements to fix the cuts on your stomach caused by the tree trunk." She replied gently. I frowned and tried not to wince at the pain in my head. Slowly, she pressed the goo against my stomach beneath my wet shirt. She saw my frustrated frown and explained, "Paul and Jared informed me of those injuries as soon as they saw me." Sue glanced at me, gave an innocent smile, and set the jar aside. "Aches you say. Where are they?"

"All over." I muttered as vaguely as possible. I hadn't seen the damage to the rest of my body and didn't want to give Charlie any further incentive to think I was beaten. Sue gave a smile, but it was brittle and worried. She turned to Charlie and instructed, "Make sure this ointment is applied to her stomach twice daily. While she rests, she should put this on scrapes and avoid a shirt just for today. After she has a bath and is washed up is best. Also, for aches, give these to her. Once in the morning and once at night for the first two days. After that give her just one at morning until the pain dissipates."

I rolled my eyes at her back as she talked to my father as if I was incapable of understanding basic conversation. Sue handed Charlie a black and orange bottle. Then, she held up a small red box and added, "This tea tastes like lemons. Make sure she has at least one cup a day until you've run out. She isn't allergic to anything, huh?"

"Uh, blueberries." Charlie replied, "And most tree nuts."

He cast me an unsure look, so I nodded in confirmation. I was surprised Charlie remembered. I was also too tired to snap at the well-meaning woman. The tight press of Charlie's mouth only furthered my decision to stay quiet. He looked exhausted and stressed. Slumping against the side of the truck, I closed my eyes and tuned out the sound of Sue Clearwater brattling on.

When all of Charlie's friends from the Reservation had left and he had finally ushered me inside in order for him to answer the phone calls that had been ringing off the hook, I crept away to be alone. In the bathroom, I stripped off my grimy clothes and crawled into the shower. The water ran brown. I soaped my hair twice for good measure. My tears mixed with the water only to disappear down the drain.

When the shivering from the cold water became too much to handle, I dried off and dared look at myself in the mirror. What I saw had me cringing. Many small, sickly yellowed bruises drew patterns across my back and shoulders. The little ones mixed with the big one on my right shoulder. A deep blue covered my skin mid-back. Every tumble, slip, and slide had resulted in me looking as if I had come out of the bad end of a boxing match.

I wrapped a towel around myself, streaked across the hall, and into my bedroom. I sank down on my bed. Before I could fall asleep, I applied the thick ointment at doctor's orders. As I lied in my familiar bed in my familiar home, I thought of all that had happened since the morning. I cried for all that had happened and all that was no longer going to be. Edward was gone. The family I'd fallen in love with was gone. The last year of my life was gone and wasted. My life suddenly seemed like a barren wasteland. I didn't see how anything could ever grow, live, or thrive again.


	3. Chapter Two

Life was complicated. There was no guardian angels or mythical beasts to guide my way like in fairytale stories. The very few people in my life that wished to help, mainly my parents, could do no other than watch me waste away. There was a barrier that I came to think of as a shield. It was wrapped around my inner being and refused to move itself. Refused to fall. Refused to release me. And the worst thing was that I didn't want the shield to leave. Because, if it did, then I was sure I would die. That unknown, invisible barrier was the only feeble protection I had left. I was like an orphaned fawn without a protector of any sort. I was stuck within the small thicket I had been abandoned in. I needed shelter and light, but had no idea how to move my body to find the sunshine. It was as if my shaky legs were too pitiful to function. Now, without the one I needed most, I was weak and ill. I wandered aimlessly for hours, both physically and mentally, without realizing I was doing so.

I knew Charlie was suspicious and even shocked at my lack of interaction, but he never spoke about the situation. Neither did I. In fact, I made a point not to speak at all. I saw little reason to do so. My shield was always in place, preparing to offer pathetic defense against another dark night. The days meshed together to create a never-ending path.

I shuffled my feet in a slow, uniform pattern until I reached my bedroom. If it was possible for me to hate anything other than myself, I would have hated my bedroom. It reminded me of… _him._ In an attempt to keep myself from lying in bed with nothing to keep me safe from my nightmares, I had developed a game. It was a game meant to keep my hands and feet busy. Mainly, this meant I cleaned the house and yard as much as humanly possible.

On this particular day, I was cleaning and folding Charlie's laundry. I could hear Charlie downstairs, snoring in his old chair. The sound didn't offer comfort, but at least his snoring told me I wasn't as alone as I felt. But my mind's logical thinking was easily slaughtered by my heart's demand that I was, in fact, utterly alone and broken. I gave up on that train of thought and tried to focus on my laundry tasks, but my body was too cold and frozen to move anymore.

It wasn't until I heard Charlie gruffly say my name that I jumped and stared blankly at him as he stood in my bedroom doorway. He asked, "How long have you been standing in the middle of your bedroom with that shirt in your hand, Bella?"

I blinked twice before the fuzzy fabric came into view. I blinked again before tossing the shirt on the floor and picking up a small pile of Charlie's clothes. I wordlessly handed the pile to him before shutting the door in his face. I sat as close to the window as I could and stared out at the pitch-black night. It was a winter's night. A thick layer of pure white was upon the ground. Powder clung to the tree branches. I put my cheek to the ice-cold glass and did not move again until the muted and dulled sunlight began to creep its way through the trees. A sunrise.

Blinking continuously in an attempt to stay awake, I stood and went to the bathroom before Charlie could wake up. My body was trembling with fatigue and I could feel knotted muscles in my back from lack of movement throughout the night. I welcomed the physical pain. I kept the water as frigid as possible and shivered uncontrollably under the frozen spray. I didn't bother stepping out of the shower stall until I heard Charlie knock loudly on the bathroom door. His voice was gruff and awkward sounding. I was unsure how many times he called my name before I called out, "I'll be right out, Dad."

I mechanically brushed my hair and teeth before slipping on my clothes for the day. I was shuffling slowly to the living room sofa when I saw Charlie stuffing his feet into his boots and buttoning up a thick jacket. I was going to ignore him and sit on the sofa, simply stare out the window, but Charlie stopped me by talking.

"Billy invited us to his house for dinner tonight." He said, "Why don't you put on your shoes and we'll head over?"

I shook my head as I sat on the edge of the sofa cushion. When Charlie continued to stare hesitantly at me, I wordlessly shook my head a second time. He sighed heavily and took a few steps forward. He slowly spoke, "Now, Bella, I think it would do you some good to get out of this house for a little bit."

I could feel a dull ache pulsing in time with the beat of my heart. I swallowed deeply, but it did nothing to ease the tightness of my throat. I took a small breath and forced myself to say, "I don't want to leave the house, Dad."  
Charlie replied, "I know you don't want to, but this mood you are in won't get any better by sitting in our old house every single day."

I didn't want to think of what he was saying. I didn't want to hear him. I didn't want to hear anything or think at all. I leaned deeply into the couch and hoped my silence wouldn't fail on me now. It was so quiet in the house that I thought Charlie might have walked out the front door, but when the sofa cushion dipped lower, I knew he was sitting beside me.

He gently touched my shoulder and I flinched without hesitation. He dropped his hand immediately and cleared his throat before mumbling, "I don't like seeing you like this, kid. I think it would be good for you to hang out with your friends. If you don't want to go to Billy's house for dinner, then you can call one of your buddies. Maybe Jessica or Angela?"

I didn't bother telling him that Jessica was alternating between ignoring me and making fun of me with Lauren Mallory. And Angela was happily dating her boyfriend, Ben, which led to me feeling physically ill every time I saw them together. Between the choice of my old high school friends and one evening in La Push, I chose La Push. I just hoped we wouldn't have to see or speak to Sam Uley and his surly friends.

"Let me grab my shoes." I mumbled in defeat.

The drive to La Push was silent, except for the low sound of Charlie's country folk songs coming through the cruiser's radio. I cringed constantly because the number one subject of all music is love. It was a bit of a slow drive due to the icy weather. When Charlie parked his cruiser in front of a rickety, weathered red house with a sagging porch and a cracked front window, I felt a soft touch of familiarity. I stumbled out of the car with a small sense of relief to escape the music. My sneakers were immediately sticking in thick, slushy mud as I trailed reluctantly behind Charlie. He led me up the dirty path to the small, red house.

As we began to climb the wooden stairs, I heard a dangerous creaking sound that signaled our combined weight might be too much for the poor stairs. A glance to my left showed that the slippery wheel-chair ramp might have been a safer alternative to the broken stairs. Nonetheless, the stairs held our weight until we were safely under the tin rooftop. Charlie knocked once before entering the house with ease. I followed with even greater reluctance. The characteristics of the interior slowly came into view.

The house was tiny with a kitchenette to the left and a crowded den to the right. The kitchen had little room to maneuver, held outdated appliances, and a rickety round table with three chairs. Right next to the kitchenette was a sliding glass door that led to the backyard. The den was directly across from the kitchenette. It had a large reclining chair, a sofa older than me, and a decent sized television set with rabbit ears. Picture frames covered the walls in all different sizes with all kinds of different dark-haired children. I was so drawn to all of the picture frames that I barely noticed Charlie walking to the stovetop to stir a large pot of stew. There was nobody else in the room.

I walked forward to the picture that caught my eye the most. It was a large frame of several children. There were two dark-skinned girls with black hair and giggling faces. Both wore matching outfits as they sprawled across the leaf-fallen ground. To the left stood three boys of about seven-years-old. All were dark-skinned and dark-haired. All were laughing, bare-chested, and covered in mud. It wasn't the fake, posing laughter, but more of a joyful and innocently stealthy laughter. As if these boys had a secret nobody else had.

Right behind the three little boys was three other people. It was the little girl with dark brown hair and a toothy grin wrapped around a younger version of Billy Black that struck me. She was missing a tooth, but her smile was genuine. Her hair was a mess of chocolate curls and she had a muddy handprint on her ivory-colored cheek. Billy Black, with his shiny black hair and strong shoulders, was holding the little girl closely to his chest. Beside him, posing beautifully, was his wife. Sarah Black. The little girl looked as if she belonged with these people despite the skin tone difference. She looked like she was so happy with the other kids. The little girl looked so different, yet she fit with this family somehow.

The little girl was me.

With a sudden urgency, I stumbled along the length of the wall and searched the other frames. My discoveries left me confused and saddened because I didn't remember half of the memories behind the pictures. There was me as a toddler, clinging to a newborn baby that could be no other than Jacob Black. There I was, no more than five-years-old, dripping wet and cold on the beach with sand castles and a dark-skinned toddler. Jacob again. Another frame of Charlie, Jacob, and I fishing off of a small pier. I couldn't have been older than ten-years-old. There was a long frame of Charlie sitting in a chair with me fast asleep in his lap. Directly beside us sat Billy with Jacob as a toddler sleeping soundly on his father's shoulder. In every one, we had rounded cheeks of childhood chubbiness and toothy smiles.

I remembered Jacob and his sisters, but only just. I had dim memories of laughter and black hair, of mud pies and the roaring of ocean waves, but these pictures were full of memories I had seemed to forget about. I was stunned, trying to force my brain into recalling these particular moments. A grating screech pulled me back to the present. Charlie opened the squeaky sliding glass door and offered a joyful shout to Billy. He called out, "Bella, come on. Billy is out here frying up some fish."

"I'll be there in a minute, Dad." My voice was small and breathless to my own ears, yet Charlie didn't bother questioning me. He just looked at my face for a long time before his eyes flickered to the picture frames. He nodded once and walked out the door.

I leaned heavily against the wall and pushed my hands through my hair. I had memories of La Push and Billy Black's family, but it was as if they were obscured behind a sheet of rain. I remembered several fishing trips with Billy's twin daughters in which the older girls threw worms at me. I remembered an annoying, little boy always begging me to play with him. I remembered Sarah Black's sweet smile and her chocolate chip cookies. My faulty memory begged the question: _If I had been here so often, why didn't I remember more?_

I spent every summer vacation with Charlie in Forks until I turned fourteen. After that, Charlie had come to see me each summer, spending two weeks' vacation in Phoenix every year. The most I remembered from all my summer's in Forks were endless nights at the local diner, plenty of sleepless nights with the rain, plenty of baseball on the television, and the occasion trip to La Push to visit Billy Black. How could friendly, superficial visits from a friend be important enough to have numerous pictures decorating Billy's home? The confusion made me very uneasy.

I finally walked out of the small house because I felt as if I was suffocating. It wasn't until I stepped out into the cold air that I realized I hadn't thought of… _him_ since the moment I walked into Billy Black's house. My mind had been too consumed with another worry.

I leaned against the side of the red house while chewing on my bottom lip nervously. Charlie was behind me, sitting around the metal fryer on a rickety porch. He was talking with Billy about football and fishing. Halfway across the yard, right toward the tree-line that led to the forest, I saw three teenage boys. All had long dark hair, which was custom for the residents of La Push. They were laughing so loudly that part of me wanted to slap my hands over my ears and block the sound out. The other part of me wanted to inch closer and listen. Anything to keep my mind distracted.

Two of the boys were rolling on the forest floor. They were cursing and kicking, but the atmosphere was cheerful and humorous. I heard one of them call the other a name that would have made me blush had anybody been paying attention to me. It wasn't long before I heard the husky voice of the third boy. I remembered him from the first day of moving back to Forks. I remembered his bright smile and easy voice as he told me ghost stories on the beach on a stormy day. I remembered his somber eyes looking at me from across my yard at dawn just a few weeks before. Jacob.

The tallest one with the broad shoulders and long legs was Jacob Black. As I continued to observe him, I realized it was so difficult to picture the little boy I knew as this half-grown man. He seemed less boyish in the face than he had a few months before when he had taken me driving in my truck for the first time.

I was too far away to hear what he was saying, but I was close enough to note the pleasant husky roughness to his voice. I wasn't sure what it was that brought me closer, but I found myself coming up behind him without noticing I had ever moved. He was talking steadily to his friends and the deep humming of his voice was so comforting. It was odd to have such a strong reaction to the sound of a stranger's voice, but I felt as if I was being pulled toward him. Toward this tall boy with the broad shoulders and soothing voice.

For the first time since my night in the forest, I found the pain easing its tight fist on my heart. I frowned as my heart thumped increasingly faster. I was torn between being terrified and relieved of the reaction I was having. I must have moved too quickly or breathed loudly because Jacob turned around quite suddenly. He offered a warm smile. The smile and friendly eyes were what I noticed first. Both features gave off such a welcoming feeling, which was reminiscent of that easy-going familiarity I held so long ago that day on the beach. There was no way to reproduce the genuine kindness that was stamped across his handsome face. It was as if the world had yet to touch him with darkness.

My lips twitched and stretched uncomfortably. It was a failed attempt to offer a smile. A strange sense of longing hit me dead in the middle of my chest. In that moment, I wished desperately to go back in time. Go back to when I hadn't known love as deep as my love for… _him._ Then, I wouldn't have known such pain and desolation.

As these thoughts were spinning around inside of my head, Jacob began to talk. After a few moments of hearing the calming tones of his voice, the unsettling thoughts dissipated and I could hear his actual words. "Jacob. I'm not sure if you remember me from a couple months back. How's the truck doing?"

"Um…" My pause was too long to be considered socially normal. I blinked at him multiple times as I realized I had no idea how my truck was doing. I couldn't remember driving it to school lately. I hardly ever remembered what I did anymore. It was easier, less painful, to hide behind my shield of numbness and put myself in an autopilot mode. I walked through life like a zombie as Jessica and Lauren were fond of reminding me.

The two boys on the ground came bounding closer. They were tangled together as they rolled across the ground between Jacob and me. Jacob laughed deeply and reached down, scooping one boy up by the neck. It was then that I realized one had dark brown hair like that of tree bark while the second had black hair similar to Jacob's. The color was dark, but recently not as deeply pitched as what was usual at the Reservation.

Jacob stated, "Why don't you introduce yourselves and stop horsing around?"

The first boy, shorter and stockier with the black hair, playfully pushed Jacob. He turned and offered a big, cocky smile. He confidently stepped forward and offered his hand for me to shake. He greeted, "I'm Quil, Jacob's cousin. You must be Bella. It's _very_ nice to meet you."

I swallowed and awkwardly shook his big hand. I mumbled, "Hi."

I could see Quil's questioning eyes as if he wanted to figure me out. As if he wanted to know what was wrong with me. As if he felt sorry for me. It was the same look I got every day from people at school and from Charlie. I let out a quiet sigh and took a step back as the third boy stood up from the ground. He brushed the debris from his shirt and pushed his long, brown hair behind his shoulders. He shyly said, "Hi, Bella. I'm Embry."

I decided I liked the one called Embry immediately. Jacob spoke up and his voice was like wrapping me in a warm blanket. I blinked and brought his face into focus. "These two clowns are my best friends. They are harmless, I swear."

I nodded wordlessly and crossed my arm tightly across my stomach to offer myself some form of protection. I couldn't stand being around people anymore. They would judge. They would watch and judge because it's basic human nature to do so, but I couldn't handle it. I felt as if I was one light breeze from being blown to pieces. Yet Jacob didn't seem to be watching me. Watching crazy Bella. At least, he didn't seem to be watching me in the sense that he was waiting for me to combust.

Jessica watched me to see if I would do anything worth gossiping about. Angela watched me with pity, as if I was a defenseless puppy. Charlie watched me with terror in his eyes as if I would disappear any moment. And now Quil and Embry were watching me as if I was an odd animal that they didn't quite know what to do with. Jacob was looking at me like I was just a girl. Just a girl.

I cleared my throat quietly and stared at my shoes as I said, "My truck has been making a funny noise, now that I think about it."

Jacob replied as if there hadn't been an absurdly long pause in our conversation. His voice was as easy as his smile. "If you bring it by one day this week, I'll take a look and fix it up for you."

I nodded and quietly stuttered, "Um, thank you."

Salvation from further conversation came by Charlie calling out for us to come inside and eat dinner. Quil and Embry took off in a fast race for the backdoor. I shuffled slowly back toward the house. My arms stayed wrapped around my stomach. I was surprised that Jacob walked by my side instead of running after his friends. Since I had no idea what to do, I just continued staring straight ahead.

He casually said, "I'm sorry if Quil made you uncomfortable."

I mumbled, "It's okay."

Jacob pulled the sliding door open and smiled before saying, "I hope you like fish fry or beef stew because that's about all my dad knows how to cook."

I blinked at him and shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me."

I sat silently as the three boys rowdily jolted about in the tiny kitchen. Charlie glanced at me worriedly a few times, but mostly watched TV alongside Billy. I hovered awkwardly and was confused when Jacob sat on the old sofa beside my father. He didn't look at me when he called out, "You can have the last chair at the table, Bella."

Not wanting to be rude, I fixed a small bowl of stew and sat across from Quil and Embry. They joked crassly with one another and hollered nonsense at Jacob until Billy firmly told them all to calm down so he could hear the game on the TV. Quil attempted a few flirty comments, but I pretended he hadn't spoken.

After the third pick-up line fell flat, he turned his attention to the game. When Charlie announced it was time to go home, I was relieved. Jacob offered a cheerful wave and goodbye. I gave a feeble wave back before following Charlie to the cruiser. I frowned the entire drive back to the house.


	4. Chapter Three

Charlie had decided that going to the Blacks' house was the best way to make me interact. Because the first time had not been an absolute disaster was obviously a good sign as far as he was concerned. Two days following our first dinner with the Blacks, Charlie had casually mentioned a particular game coming on the television on Monday. I had said nothing and simply continued dishing out portions of mashed potatoes and gravy to him. He had stuttered for a moment, blushing, before firmly telling me that we would both go watch the game. I had been too tired to argue and had only nodded before climbing the stairs and shutting myself in my bedroom for the night.

That was how I found myself staring at the peeling red paint of the Black house once more.

"Well, how have you been, Bella?" Billy questioned innocently as we walked inside. I sat next to Charlie on the couch and was surprised how comfortable it was. I replied, "I've been okay. How are you?"

"I'm better now that I've seen such a pretty face twice in a week." He smiled charmingly. My cheeks heated automatically. Charlie chuckled and then questioned Billy on the newest football game. They began to debate happily and I found myself staring at a picture frame sitting on the end table beside couch. It was of the twins, Rachel and Rebecca, at their high school graduation. I turned to the picture next to that one. I was surprised yet again.

There I was, looking about eleven-years-old. I _remembered_ that day with sudden clarity. It was as if that picture of Jacob Black and I had brought forth the entire day inside of my head. It had been a holiday of some sort. We had played with mud pies that very morning and chased each other around the woods while his parents and my dad sat around a fire, talking loudly about things we didn't understand. In the picture my hair was curly and knotted. My face was covered in smudges of dirt, as was Jacob's. The smaller me beamed at the camera. My skinny arm was around Jacob's shoulder. He was wearing a blue shirt and I had on a grubby jacket that was too big for me.

"Yeah, that was right before Jacob's tenth birthday. You were twelve, I think." Billy followed my gaze just as his words snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I remember, yeah." I replied.

He said, "Jake is out back in the garage if you'd like to visit with him."

Hesitating, I stood up and slowly walked to the back door. With a sigh, I managed to walk through the uneven yard without tripping. I came to a slight rolling hill. After slipping my way upward, I rounded a small line of trees and saw the garage. It was big, much bigger than I anticipated. I came to a complete stop. It was larger than their house, yet smaller than my house. Still, it was large for a tin garage. Loud rock music brought me from my thoughts, so I started walking again. When I caught sight of big feet in even bigger brown boots, I stopped walking and frowned.

Jacob was under an old, red car. I could faintly hear him mumbling the words to the song blaring out of a portable radio. I stood there, not knowing what to do, and listened to the song. I figured I could wait until the song was over, so we could hear each other talking, but the song seemed to last forever. I found myself liking the snarling guitar, the loud beat from the drums, and the raspy voice. It beat love songs any day. When the song finally ended, all noise was cut off, and it took me a second to realize that the CD was over.

Jacob's feet began moving, and then he started scooting out from underneath the car. I stuttered, trying to let him know I was there without sounding like an idiot.

"Who's there?" He asked, sounding puzzled and muffled.

"Um, it's Bella." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I was blushing.

His face popped out from underneath the car. I stared down at him. I was instantly jealous of his russet-brown skin and deep brown eyes. I usually was every time I saw a La Push resident. My skin was ghostly pale and unattractive. My hair was the most boring shade of brown possible. The Quileute people were all unique in appearance as far as I could tell, but there was something different about Jacob.

His eyes weren't muddy brown like mine, but rather multifaceted and wide. His hair was thick, beautifully long, and jet black like the richest of inks. I mentally berated myself for thinking such thoughts. He stood up, brushing dirt off of himself before he smiled widely at me. "Well, hey, Bella."

"Hi, Jacob." I mumbled, my face flushing pink.

"What brings ya way over here?" He asked, still smiling brightly.

"Charlie's here watching the football game with your dad…" I started.

"Oh, so you don't want to watch some boring game." He grinned and walked backwards while magically stepping over a tool box without tripping. He grabbed an ugly orange chair and scrapped it across the concrete. He explained, "You can sit here if you like. I find it more interesting out here than watching TV."

I looked around then, seeing all the odd things he had. There were metal bits and rusty shapes everywhere. There were tools I couldn't name on every available surface and the bare bones of a dirt-bike parked just inside the garage. Jacob's radio, now on a lower volume, played another snarling rock song as it sat atop a makeshift table. The trees towered over his work area, making it feel as if we were isolated.

"Yeah, it's definitely more interesting." I replied.

He grinned again and tossed a narrow, silver tool down. He plopped on the ground and looked up at me. He asked, "What have you been up to lately?"

I thought of how to answer. Fought for an answer. I chewed on my lower lip before saying, "Just school, I was glad today is Friday."

He laughed softly and said, "Me, too. Weekends are my favorite. I managed to pass all my tests this week, so I was happy."

"I'm sure Billy was, too." I said. The pause was drawing out, so I quickly asked, "What's your favorite subject?"

"Tough choice." He answered before adding, "I'm not a very academic kind of guy. I like history well enough. The facts are interesting, but I get dates and names mixed up."

I clasped my hands together and shrugged, "Yeah. I understand that."

"What's your favorite?" He asked politely.

"English and Literature." I answered quickly.

"Are you going to go to college?" He asked as he rummaged through a dirty bucket beside him.

"Probably," I shrugged again even though he couldn't see me. I explained, "Probably not right away, though, I'll miss Forks…and Charlie."

Jacob pulled out a black rubber rose and looked back at me. He smiled and said, "I never knew you were a Daddy's Girl."

I shook my head as I mumbled, "I never was before. I guess I am now."

"Explain how you became a Daddy's Girl." He didn't sound like he was prying. Jacob moved confidently as he turned a tool over and pulled on the hose in his hand. His tone was warm and playful. It was as if he was trying to make me comfortable.

I explained, "When I moved here, Charlie and I got along easily. He never made me upset like I thought he would."

Jacob glanced up as if interested. I slowly added, "He and I are kind of alike, so we go well together. My mom and I get along, but she and I are too different."

After a moment of silence, I began tapping my foot nervously. Jacob finally spoke. His voice was peculiar and thoughtful. "People tell me I'm like my mom."

I immediately wanted to tell him how sorry I was, because I knew if I lost Renee, I would be so terribly heartbroken. Jacob turned to me after setting the rubber hose down and gave a startling grin. He said, "Everyone says I act like my mom, but that I look like my dad."

"You do look like Billy." I replied hesitantly.

His grin showed itself. He asked, "Could you hand me the crescent wrench?"

"Um…" I stood up, walked to the general direction of where he pointed, and picked up two tools. "Which one is it?" I asked as I held both up.

Jacob busted out laughing so loudly that I nearly dropped the tools. I gave a startled chuckle and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Bella, that's not the wrench. That is." He pointed to a silver object. With a sigh, I set the other two tools down and picked up the wrench. "Here you go." I handed it over and carefully sat down across from him in the ugly, orange chair. For a few minutes, all that could be heard was the distant crashing of ocean waves.

"What's this?" I pointed at the car, "Are you going to rebuild it or something?"

"I'm trying to." He sheepishly replied.

I asked, "How long do you think it will take you?"

He shrugged. "I've been working on it a lot for the last two months."

I grasped for a question and then asked, "Are you going to paint it again?"

He chuckled and shook his head. I watched as he worked. I tried my best to stay out of his way and not gape. Jacob knew what he was doing. He worked quickly and with ease. He didn't seem to get mad when something didn't fit the right way, or if he chose the wrong tool and needed a different one. After a while, he stood up and stretched. I watched as he walked to the corner of the garage and grabbed a big, gray tarp.

"Want help?" I asked as I stood up. Before he could say anything, I grabbed the other side and helped throw the tarp over the half-finished car. He used stretchy cords to tie the tarp down. Then, he started picking up tools and putting them in various boxes or buckets. I offered to help again and Jacob declined with a smile.

I dragged the ugly, orange chair back inside the mouth of his garage anyway. He laughed and asked, "You just have to help, don't you?"

"Well," I replied, "The chair was for me to sit in." As we began walking toward the trees, I added, "It's the least I could do since you entertained me for hours."

He said, "Glad I could entertain you. Never thought I was all that interesting."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I think you're interesting."

"Thank you." He replied in amusement, "I believe that was a compliment."

"Yes, I guess it is." I smiled weakly and glanced at him, hoping he wasn't thinking I was flirting with him. That would present an awkward problem.

When we walked inside the brightly lit house, I was happy to find the game almost finished. Charlie said his goodbyes to Billy and I said my goodbyes to Jacob. On the way home Charlie didn't say anything and I was grateful. Once home, I went straight upstairs and in my bedroom.

_I had laughed today._ I thought of that moment as I dressed in old sweats and a tank top. When Jacob fell over laughing at me, he looked happy. The happiness of him just made me laugh, too. I frowned as I brushed my teeth. It didn't make sense. The whole time with Jacob Black didn't make sense to my mind. Trying not to think too hard about it, I went to my room and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter Four

I managed to have only one nightmare and wake without screaming. I was sweaty, though, and shaken to my core. Victoria had killed me, but not for the first time. With a sigh, I got fresh clothes and went to the bathroom for a shower. I ate a bowl of cold cereal with Charlie beside me. He was eating enough bacon that I thought my arteries would get clogged with grease just from looking at it. I asked, "Why were you at work so late?"

"Just got a bad case going on in Port Angeles. The chief over there has some of my men helping with it. P.A cops are willing to pay us." He chewed for a moment as I drank orange juice. After he swallowed, he explained, "I would've helped even without the pay, but it's nice to know I'm getting some extra money."

My heart warmed at his words. I smiled softly. "That's nice of you, Dad. I'm guessing you get today off, though."

He frowned and asked, "Why is that?"

I was a little taken back as I said, "Because it's nine and you haven't left yet."

He took his dishes to the sink. As he washed, he said, "No. I had the night shift last night and I'm going to get the later shift today. I figured we could go on down to the Blacks' and visit for a while."

The smile of Jacob popped in my head immediately. I simply said, "Okay."

"There's a good game today." He replied vaguely.

Instead of answering back I went to my bedroom and changed into fresh jeans and a bulky jacket. I came back down thirty minutes later. Charlie chuckled when he saw me. "It isn't that cold outside."

I raised an eyebrow. "Dad, it's freezing. It's the middle of December."

He asked, "You sure you need that many sweaters and jackets on?"

"It's a shirt and _one_ sweater." I retorted, "And a jacket _you_ bought for me."

He held the door open for me with this smile on his face. I said, "You sure are acting spunky today."

"I'm not too old to act spunky, am I?" He replied happily. We got in the car and I watched with wide eyes as Charlie turned the radio on and tapped his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. I wondered if he was so happy because of the extra money he was getting from his new case. I felt guilty because I realized my living with him may be putting a dent on his finances. I worked part-time at Newton's. Maybe I would pick up a few more shifts.

Half an hour later, I found myself wandering up to Jacob's garage. I found him underneath the car again. My mind instantly turned to a path I was becoming familiar with. When he noticed I was there, Jacob offered a sunny grin. We talked. More accurately, he talked and I listened. He told me what he was doing on all his projects with little prompting on my part. He offered funny stories of his childhood with his sisters and friends. I helped him wipe grease off of car parts and we drank warm soda.

He eventually asked about school, so I asked about his own. I learned what courses he took and which were different than mine. Jacob explained to me that they had a Native language and that his Dad had been teaching him both English and Quileute since he was young enough to actually form words. It was rare to find teenagers his age who could speak the language fluently, but Billy held expectations for Jacob.

"I always wished I could speak a different language." I replied as I handed him a screw. He grabbed it and stuck it in the small plastic cup beside us. He had been reorganizing items for some time.

"Pale faces aren't really meant to know, but maybe one day I can teach you." Jacob glanced at me with a wicked smirk and looked back down at the pipe he was now cleaning. He had a dirty piece of cloth in his even dirtier hands.

"What's this pipe for?" I asked as I scooted closer to examine it.

"I promised my uncle I'd build this squirrel feeder for him and my aunt."

"How is a pipe going to become a squirrel feeder?" I leaned over and almost bumped heads with him. I eased back, nervous with the physical contact, and watched as Jacob wiped the dirt off the surface of the object. His hands were gentle and sure as he reached for a thin saw with serrated teeth. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You should step back a little, Bella."

I did as he said and watched as he worked. It took Jacob less than a minute to saw through the plastic pipe. I was impressed. It would have taken me forever. I watched as he set the saw down and motioned to me. I scooted closer and took my seat beside him. Jacob explained each step, each detail of what he was doing, and he looked up at me every couple of minutes to see the expression on my face.

After a while he admitted that he needed a break. I felt a slight disappointment. When he saw my face, he laughed. I smiled half-heartedly. He suggested, "How about we go get food and a drink. We can come back out whenever you're ready."

"Okay." I agreed and stood up. He waited patiently as I dusted off my bottom and legs. Jacob was even more patient as I tripped my way to his back door. As we walked in the house, we were greeted by both of our fathers. Suddenly, a missing piece clicked in place in my head. Jacob Black made me feel _different_ , although I couldn't place my finger on why.

He didn't irritate me by hovering like Angela and Mike from school. He didn't tease me as Jessica and Lauren did. Neither did Jacob make me feel guilty as Charlie did whenever he sent a worried glance my way. I didn't feel uncomfortable as I did when Renee called to fret over me. As I let this knowledge sink in, Jacob went to the tiny kitchen and began pulling sandwich makings out of the refrigerator. As he grabbed a mustard bottle, he looked back at me. "I can make you a sandwich, if you'd like. Are you a fan of mustard?"

I shook my head as I sat at the old, rounded table.

I said, "I'm still full from breakfast."

"Okay." I was surprised when he didn't further question me. Jacob just eased off and sat down beside me. He plowed through an entire sandwich in merely a minute and then ate a couple brownies I had brought over hours before. When he grabbed two sodas and sat one down in front of me, I felt my lips twitch.

I popped the top and took a long sip at the same time he did. After a minute, Jacob stood up and asked, "Ready to go back out there?"

"Am I transparent?" I joked as I stood up. He held the door open for me and I went outside first. He followed closely behind. I tripped once. He held his hand out, successfully catching me by the upper arms. I blushed furiously when I finally got my footing. He chuckled and asked, "Do you fall often?"

I nodded and stuck my hands in my back pocket as he plopped on the ground next to his current working project. He immediately began to wipe the pipe down. I sat beside him and asked, "When do you think you'll have this done?"

He shrugged his big shoulders and glanced at me. His eyes twinkled as bright as the sun. He smiled and replied, "Probably in the next day or two."

I shook my head and exclaimed, "You're amazing at this…stuff."

He laughed, "Why, thank you, Bella."

I quietly said, "You're welcome, Jacob."


	6. Chapter Five

That night I slept without a nightmare. I woke up at eight in the morning with clear eyes that made me stare in shock. It was very cold, despite the central heating, so I was shivering. Still, the cold barely fazed me. No nightmares, no sore throat, no getting ill in the bathroom. Just simply eight hours of sleep on a weekend. As I ate granola bar, I realized Charlie's happy attitude might have had something to do with me willingly leaving the house to visit with people. Or maybe he had noticed I wasn't zombie-like when speaking with Jacob or Billy. With a sigh, I dressed and debated for an hour over calling the Black residence.

I muttered, "Don't be a coward." And marched to the phone. I looked through the phone book and got the number I needed. I repeated, "Don't be a coward, you've got to figure this out."

My fingers were clumsy on the dial pad. With a deep breath, I put the phone to my ear. Someone picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Billy." I replied, "It's Bella."

"Well, hey!" His voice began cheerful and deep. Kind of like Jacob's.

I gulped, "I was wondering if Jacob was around today."

"He is." Billy chuckled, "He just rolled out of bed. Here you go."

A moment later Jacob's voice met my senses. "Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Jacob." I cleared my throat, "Got enough sleep?"

"Yup. Sure did." Was his simple reply.

I bit my lip and asked, "What are you doing today?"

He hesitated before saying, "Probably going to go out to the garage."

"Well…" I trailed off and then blurted, "Want some company?"

"Sure." He answered instantly, "Heck yeah."

I slumped in relief as I replied, "Okay. I'll head over there."

He happily said, "See you soon."

I bit my lip again and mumbled, "Okay, bye."

He chirped, "Bye."

The relief in my chest felt like warm bubbles. It was such a strange feeling as I realized how much I enjoyed myself as I hung out with Jacob. After sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a pen, I wrote a grocery list. I decided I needed to use my bank account more often to buy groceries in hopes of easing the financial burden I was fairly sure Charlie was having. That afternoon, as I was coming home from a much needed shopping trip, I saw two old motorbikes sitting at the end of our neighbor's driveway.

Slowly, I pulled into their drive and parked my truck. I stared at the bikes for some time. One was black and the other a dirty red color. Both were scratched and dented. The tires were flat. One was missing a cushioned seat. The other looked as if the handlebars would fall off at a moment's notice. I thought of bright smiles, big copper hands covered in oil, and a mismatched garage with a torn-up bike propped in a corner. Jacob had complained that it would likely never run because he couldn't find the right parts for it.

With determination, I marched up to the front door of the small, white clapboard house. Knocking on the door, I stepped back and pulled my hood down to stop the drizzle from soaking through my hair. A young boy with blonde hair opened the door. I jerked my thumb toward the bikes and asked, "How much do you want for those?"

The boy frowned. "They're free. Complete junk. Why? You want them?"

"Yes." I blurted, "Can you help me load them up?"

Minutes later, I was making my ways to La Push. When I arrived, Jacob came strolling out of the house with a curious expression and a signature smile. I gestured to the bed of my truck. As he walked closer and peered at the bikes, I bit my lip. I stuttered, "I-I thought y-you might be able to fix them up. I wasn't sure, but I could maybe help you. I-If you want. After school on some days. And on the weekends."

Jacob grinned brightly and replied, "Sure. It will be a challenge and might not work, but I'm willing to try. Any particular reason why you wanted motorbikes?"

I shrugged and replied, "Maybe I want to learn how to ride one."

His smile turned sly. He said, "Lucky for you I know how to."

I let out a half laugh and echoed, "Lucky for me."

Jacob nimbly hopped into the truck and bent over, touching and peering at the merchandise. I said, "Um, there's just one thing. We have to do this secretly. Charlie would kill me if he found out. He hates things like motorbikes."

Jacob shrugged big shoulders while still looking at the bikes. He said, "Sure. I won't tell him or Dad. Honestly, Billy never asks what I'm doing in the garage anyway. He's cool like that."

As I drove back home that evening, after helping Jacob wheel the broken bikes into his garage, I found myself surprised that he had agreed to such a plan. He hadn't questioned my decision to lie to our fathers. He hadn't asked where my sudden interest in learning to ride motorbikes came from. Nor had he mocked me when I explained that I thought the hunks of junk might be fixable. He just accepted the challenge with a shrug and a smile. As the days rolled on, I began to think that was just how Jacob was. Easy-going. Good-natured. Kind. Funny. Reliable.

Jacob didn't watch me like I was a ticking time bomb. He seemed to be in sync with me in a way no one ever had been before. When I tripped, he caught me. When I chuckled, he smiled. When I smiled, he laughed. Everything was easy and effortless with him just like breathing. When I was around him, I could breathe easier than I ever had in my entire life. I found myself talking of my childhood when I never had before. To speak my mind around him was so simple, so surprisingly simple, because it was like speaking to myself. There was honesty, all except for my deepest secret, because I didn't fear repercussions from Jacob. He was too kind to be vindictive toward me. He was too helpful to be purposely manipulative.

Maybe it was all so simple because Jacob was so simple. There were no big secrets. No puzzles to solve. No need to pretend. No need to walk on egg shells as I did with everyone else. Jacob himself was such a happy person. He carried the happiness wherever he went. I began to imagine him as a sun- a bright, shining sun. His personality was so warm and wonderful and infectious. He took everything and anything in stride with good humor, talented hands, and a keen mind.

As the countdown to Christmas came to a close, I found myself hesitantly agreeing with Charlie when he spoke of accepting the Blacks' invitation to a holiday dinner. After our last day of class, I drove to the grocery store and bought a long list of ingredients. I visited Jacob, secretly working on the dirt bikes, and asked about his favorite foods. I had already decided I would make double fudge brownies as he had devoured the ones I had brought over during a fish fry. Jacob had given an easy smile and said, "You make whatever you feel like making, Bella. Dad and I aren't picky."

On Christmas Eve, I spent all afternoon and evening baking. By the early hours of Christmas morning, the counter and tabletop were filled with bowls and containers. When Charlie woke and came down for coffee at half past five, I was already showered and dressed in my warmest clothes. I was flipping pancakes onto a plate. He shuffled into the kitchen and stared with a slacked-jaw. He muttered, "Um…Bella?"

I said, "I wasn't sure what Billy or Jacob would like."

"Ah," Charlie took the warm coffee mug from me and replied, "You just decided to make everything, I see."

I nodded and blushed. "Yes. I guess so."

It took us twenty minutes to load down the backseat of the cruiser with all of my goods. Charlie asked, "Is that a batch of cinnamon rolls right there?"

"Yes," I replied quietly, "I made an apple pie for you, too."

He smiled. The movement lifted his entire face until he was crinkly around his eyes. A slow smile touched my lips before Charlie put the cruiser in drive. As we moved down the familiar roads to La Push, I stared at the white winter-land. For once, I wasn't afraid of looking at the depth of the forest.


	7. Chapter Six

I smiled as Charlie pulled in the familiar dirt driveway I had begun to love. I could hear the loud voices coming from inside. One I recognized as Billy and the other as Harry Clearwater. As Dad and I stepped inside, I offered Billy an only slightly awkward one-armed hug. I pulled back and asked, "How have you been?"

He chuckled and answered, "Just fine. Jacob's out back with the boys."

My mind perked up at the idea of my new sort-of-friends. I zipped my jacket up as I made my way outside. Half way down the path, I started hearing screaming rock music. I broke through the trees and called out, "Hey, guys."

Jacob was the first to turn around. As reluctant as I was about acknowledging it, his appearance drew me in. The bright, wide smile. The warm eyes. The inky hair pulled back in a low-slung ponytail. The cheerful expression on his face. I forced my eyes away and swallowed the sudden self-disgust building up in my throat.

As I walked over, Jacob engulfed me in a friendly hug. I had grown used to the contact over several weeks, but the first time had been a terrible shock to my system. I had learned to expect Jacob's big hugs. Still, I was relieved when he released me.

He exclaimed, "I haven't seen you in over a week, Bella."

"I know. It nearly killed me." I answered. I offered a wave to Embry, who was pink in the cheeks. He waved back and whispered a quiet greeting. I was certain he was as painfully shy as I was with people. Quil, Jacob's other best friend and cousin, caught my eye as he looked up from his latest project. He offered a roguish grin. Hesitantly, I gave him a little wave. He reached back, that flirtatious smile on his face, and pressed a button on the radio. It immediately stopped playing a rather loud song. He asked, "Why haven't I seen your pretty little face in the last week?"

I blushed and blinked for a moment before saying, "I'm a busy woman."

He laughed, "I'm sure, Swan."

Quil went back to the pile of junk in front of him. I smiled awkwardly, but I knew it was likely more of a grimace. Quil reminded me of a crasser version of Mike, which left me unbalanced more often than not. I made my way to Jacob and Embry once more. Embry was sitting cross legged on the ground and was polishing a piece of metal. Jacob was leaning over the hood of his precious car. He was working his mysterious magic. The music began to play again, but on a lower volume. I knew the guys usually turned it down for my benefit. I leaned a little bit closer to Jacob. I asked, "What are you doing?"

I couldn't see his face, but I could hear the amusement as he answered, "Changing the spark plugs."

I tried to think of exactly what that was. I vaguely remembered Embry explaining the week before. I questioned slowly, "Spark plugs help ignite the fuel?"

"Pretty much, Bells." I watched his bent over form. His arms were constantly moving and flowing around. At some point, Jacob had picked up Charlie's long-time nick-name for me. I had cringed the first time I heard it, but decided it was better than either of them calling me by my given name. After a minute of nothing but music I asked, "Isn't your car a four-cylinder engine?"

He worked and explained, "Yeah. Vehicles have multi-cylinder engines. Six, four, and eight are the most common here."

I soaked in the information and asked, "Didn't Em say something about different ways to arrange cylinders a couple of weeks ago?"

Jacob grunted before saying, "I'm not sure if he said that."

I hummed under my breath, "Well, can you arrange them differently?"

"Yeah, there's a couple of ways." He started to pull his head out from the car and smacked it on the hood. We both winced at the same time. I was just about to ask if he was alright, when Quil sauntered over with a small hose in his hands. He asked, "Can you come help me? This damn thing won't fit on the lip right."

Jacob sighed hotly, but stood up and brushed his oily, dirty hands on his jeans. I rolled my eyes and put my hand on my hip. "Billy told you to stop getting your jeans oily. Those stains won't come out, you know."

Jacob looked at me with amusement as he passed by and gently bumped his shoulder against mine. He continued walking with a smirk on his face. I turned and watched Jacob as he bent over the hunk of junk that we all called a motorbike. It wasn't our special motorbikes, but the old one Quil and Jacob had been working on for years. I watched as Jacob spoke with a deep frown on his face. Quil replied, but I couldn't catch the words over the music.

Suddenly, Jacob's moves became jerky and fast as he roughly handled the hose. The frame of the bike nearly tipped over, but Jacob caught it at the last moment. His face was set in a deep scowl. Quil spoke again. Jacob looked sideways at Quil, shook his head, spit out a mouthful of likely-rude words. He stood up abruptly. Quil looked up at him in irritated amusement. I watched his lips move in a quick way before they spread into a cocky grin. I couldn't see Jacob's face, but his back was taunt. I saw the air leave his lungs in a fast way. As the song ended, I caught Quil's words. "Whatever, Jake. You're too territorial. Ease up, man."

I frowned and looked down at Embry as he dug through a gallon bucket nearby. He pulled out a couple rusted screws and picked up the screw driver on top of the old deep freezer in the corner of the garage. I muttered, "What's their deal?"

Embry looked at them, watched Jacob toss the wrench to the ground with a loud clanking noise, and whispered, "They've been arguing over dumb crap for days. They'll be fine." When Jacob stalked back in our direction, Embry took his tools and went to the opposite side of the garage. I decided to do the same, so I went back to the hood of the car and waited for Jacob. He was there seconds later with a small object in his hand. It looked like it was made of rubber. I questioned, "What's that?"

There was anger in his dark brown eyes, which caused an odd unease to well up. The idea of Jacob being upset irritated me unexpectedly. I wanted to walk over to Quil and demand he shut his mouth if all he was willing to do was antagonize Jacob when he opened it.

Jacob shook his head and answered in a soft voice, "Piston rings, Bells."

Before I could ask, he added, "They keep fuel from leaking to the oil pan."

I gazed up at him and asked, "What would happen if fuel and oil mixed?"

"It would just burn up and be gone." He frowned and scratched his head, "At least, I think so. It would be bad for the car for sure."

He crawled under the car and said, "This is going to take a bit, Bells."

After ten minutes of nothing but the rock music or occasional clank from one of the guys I asked, "Where exactly do the piston rings go?"

"Um…" Jake's voice was distant and I wondered if I should have stayed silent. He replied, "They go between the outer edge of the piston and inner edge of the cylinder."

I stated, "You need to put four of them on."

"Yes." He answered and added, "I like that you're interested. It's kinda sweet."

"Right." I replied as I stood up from the orange chair and stretched. My cheeks were red and I desperately tried to ignore the affectionate tone in his voice. After sitting back down and pulling my knees up to my chin, I watched Jacob work. His body was bent over, half of him disappearing inside of the engine again. After a minute, Jacob reached down and put his hand over the back of his leg, massaging the muscle. He rubbed and I heard an audible hiss come from his lips.

I frowned and said, "You okay?"

He replied, "Yeah. Just a little pain."

I frowned as I stood up and asked, "What kind of pain?"

The wind was whipping around, as it had been for the last half hour, but I had stayed silent and ignored my frozen fingers. The three boys seemed barely effected by the weather, but when I gently touched Jake's fingers I gasped, "Jake! You're frozen. We need to go inside."

He frowned and said, "Sorry, Bells. I didn't realize how cold it was getting. C'mon, let's get inside." He called to Embry and they began to gather tools and throw them in buckets. I scraped my ragged old chair to the mouth of the building and heaved a heavy bucket on top of the rusted, scarred chest freezer. Embry came by with two buckets in each hand and slapped them down. I huffed in annoyance at his show of muscular work. I moved out of Quil's way as he yanked the radio off the make-shift table and set it inside the garage. He muscled the huge tarp over the car with the help of Embry.

A droplet of rain fell to my shoulder. I quickly grabbed a couple of loose hoses and plugs, setting them in a small pile on the metal table in the back corner of the garage. We all helped Jacob close and tie the broken wooden doors back in place. He denied that I help twice, but gave up when I ignored his pleas. Another droplet fell and hit me on the nose as soon as the last tie was in place. I wiped the water away and stuck my numb fingers in my pockets. Jacob told me to start heading back to his house and then jogged over to help Quil and Embry finish tying the tarp down over the car. I didn't listen.

I waited until he was done and then began walking down the sloped path. Embry and Jacob held a few thorny bushes back as I stepped through. I listened to Embry talk about the progression he was making on repairing an old toaster oven his mother was fond of. I tried to encourage Quil when he said how hard he was trying with the old motorbike, especially when it became clear neither of his best friends were responding to his complaints.

"Check the gas, you genius." Jake muttered angrily, "That could be why it isn't starting. We fixed the other issues. It could be bad gasoline."

"Oh…" Quil rolled his eyes, obviously aggravated right back. "Thanks."

As we came around the corner, Quil jogged off to the left. I whispered, "Why are you guys fighting?"

Jacob sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He opened his mouth, but quickly shut it and grit his teeth together. His face twisted for a second and he jerked to a stop. "Jake?" I questioned in alarm. He shrugged and tried to control his face. He replied, "My damn leg."

"You should get that checked by Sue, man." Embry said, "It's been hurting since last week. Could have torn something."

"What happened?" I asked as I glanced at his jean clad legs. Jacob seemed reluctant when he admitted, "Quil and I got in a little tussle."

I frowned and slowly asked, "Over what?"

He shook his head and glanced at me with his dark eyes. A shiver raced up my spine and I wasn't entirely sure if it was because of the icy drizzle. He caught the movement and raised his eyebrows. Worry clouded his eyes and he said, "You should get by the heater." He pulled the back door open and I ducked under his arm. My teeth were silently chattering as I went to the kitchen and sat down on a rickety wooden chair. Jacob pulled up a chair next to me and vaguely greeted Charlie and Billy. Both were sitting in the tiny den. Jacob reached over and turned the knob on the space heater until it was blasting.

"Any better?" He asked a couple minutes later. I glanced to Embry, who was helping himself to a cheese sandwich, before turning back to Jacob. I nodded and offered a small smile. The smile faded when I caught him rubbing his leg. I noticed the bottom of his jeans were wet and so was the shoulders of his shirt. I suggested, "You should go change out of those damp clothes."

"Okay, Mom." He snorted softly before standing up and heading down the small hall that lead to his bedroom. Embry sat beside me and bit into his sandwich. He slid the big bag of potato chips over to me. I pushed down my chaotic thoughts and reached in the bag. Jacob came back a couple minutes later in a white t-shirt and mesh shorts. He ruffled my hair teasingly as he passed by. I frowned and swatted at him. I couldn't decide if I was truly irritated or not.

He went to the refrigerator and pulled out three cans of orange soda. He passed one to me first and then tossed the other to Embry. The boy caught it in both hands, loudly popping the top and slurping it down. I rolled my eyes at his lack of table manners, but secretly I found it amusing. With a sigh, I opened my drink and took a small sip. Jacob sat on my right and grabbed a handful of chips. He munched on them in a more dignified state compared to Embry's loud smacking. I said, "If you chew any louder, I think the next house over will hear you, Em."

Jacob laughed quietly as not to disturb Billy and Charlie's game. After a few minutes a cellphone went off and Embry yanked it out of his pocket. He slid the little phone to his ear and questioned, "Yes, Mom?" He took the last gulp of his drink and said, "I'll be right over. Don't try to move the boxes."

With that he hung up, tossed his crushed can in the trash can, and called over his shoulder, "Later. Got to go help my mom."

"Bye, Em." I said before sitting back in the chair again. The wooden thing was hard and leaned slightly more to the left than it should have. I glanced out the window and sighed. The rain hadn't stopped. I sat back down in the uncomfortable chair and fidgeted for a moment. The silence from Jacob was unusual and uncomfortable. I bit my lip, glancing at him. He had a dark scowl on his face. It looked all wrong on him. I reluctantly admitted to myself that I would rather see him smiling and laughing.

I cleared my throat and quietly asked, "What's up, Jake?"

He sighed and pushed away a bag of chips. His knuckles rapped absentmindedly on the wooden table as he said, "Bells, I'm sorry I'm boring and grumpy today." He spoke sincerely, "I don't feel great. Quil pissed me off."

Jacob paused and added, "Doesn't mean I should act rude to one of my best friends, though."

I met his eyes and looked away. There was a pregnant pause before I dryly replied, "Boring or grumpy are my specialty, yet you put up with me. I can let you off the hook for one day."

He smirked and slowly passed over the chips. "Here."

I reached for one and crunched on it before saying, ""That's the best apology and bribery I've ever gotten."

"Well, you know me. I'm all for great bribery." He smiled brightly.

I gave a half-smile and said, "It worked. No apology needed, though."

He chuckled, "I won't apologize for being grumpy, but neither should you."

I looked at him for long moment before blushing and mumbling, "Okay."

"Deal?" He asked with dark eyebrows raising.

I rolled my eyes and nodded. His gaze was steady and intense, so I glanced down and pulled more chips out of the bag simply to keep me busy. I was munching on yet another handful when Charlie stood up from the sofa nearby. He stretched, groaning as his back popped loudly. I winced, glancing his way. Charlie looked at me and said, "That's game. Getting late, Bella. We should head out."

I nodded while brushing crumbs off of my fingers as I stood up. A soft brush of warm fingertips on my arm had me meeting Jacob's gaze. I blurted out, "Thank you."

"For what?" He cocked his head to the side like a curious puppy.

I stuttered, "Um…just…you know, hanging out. Uh, see you soon, okay?"

He smiled. "Tomorrow is preferable for me, Bells. I'm just saying."

I bit my lip. He chuckled and said, "Don't be embarrassed. It's just me you're talking to. Come see me soon and save me from boredom."

Avoiding his face, I turned away from the table and began walking to the door that Charlie was holding open. I mumbled, "I'll probably have to catch up on homework first, but I'll call you and let you know, alright?"

He nodded, bright brown eyes still twinkling in the dimly lit room as I walked out into the cold night.


	8. Chapter Seven

After a night of homework and a boring day at school, I called Jacob and let him know I was free to come over. He was excitable and laughable as he always was. I could hear chattering in the background and several thumps followed by swear words. As I drove to La Push, I knew today would include Quil and Embry. They were rambunctious, especially Quil, but both boys were certainly better than other teenage boys I knew. Quil was quite funny when he wasn't being so rude. Embry was intelligent, well read, and thought provoking when talking. Despite Quil's flirting and winking on a regular basis, I still parked my truck and hopped out with determination. I was here for Jacob, which meant I just had to deal with his two friends.

As soon as I slammed the truck door, Jacob walked outside and down the sagging porch steps. He wore his usual attire- stained jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. What was interesting was the black sneakers on his feet that seemed fairly new. Before he could bound down the stairs in his shoes to get to me, I called, "Don't move!"

He frowned and demanded, "What's wrong, Bells?"

"There's mud everywhere and you'll ruin your new shoes." I explained as I stepped up the steps. He scooped me up and twirled me around. I sighed heavily and said, "Put me down."

He did as I asked before dramatically huffing, "It's just like you to remind me of my clean shoes. I swear, you're a bit OCD, Bells."

"Somebody has to be." I retorted with a shrug. Grinning, he reached out and patted my shoulder. He said, "I know. I thank you for it. How was school?"

I groaned and responded, "I don't know where to begin."

"That bad, huh?" He put his arm over my shoulders and closed the door behind us. My shoulders were tense, but I was too worried of offending Jacob to throw his arm off of me. Quil and Embry were sitting at the kitchen table, both of them munching on a bag of chips and a large jar of cheese sauce.

Embry smiled softly and said, "Hey, Bella."

I smiled back as best I could. "Hey, Em."

Quil greeted, "What's up, Bells?"

I replied, "My school day sucked. What about yours?"

Quil grinned and said, "I managed to get detention in second hour, piss a guy off in fourth hour, and get this fine girl's number after lunch. She's new around here."

I eased out from under Jake's arm, eyeing him for a moment. I sat across from the two boys and reached for a chip. I commented, "That sounds like a normal day for you, Quil."

The boy in question laughed and said, "Yeah. It wouldn't have been fun without me there. I mean, Em just listened to the teachers like a good little boy and Jacob pouted over you being gone. It was terrible."

Jacob's hand shot out like a whip and slapped Quil upside the head. Quil swore loudly before demanding, "Stop it, you prick!"

"He's a liar. I didn't pout." Jacob responded quickly as he sat beside me and put his hand on my leg in a gentle movement. I avoided his eyes and pressed my lips together. Slowly, Jacob withdrew his hand. He reached for a handful of chips and munched on them. There was a queasy layer of unease in my gut. I turned my attention to Embry as Quil bantered with Jacob. I asked, "Did anything interesting happen today? Besides Quil being Quil?"

Embry chuckled and shook his head. His long, dark brown hair bounced about. He pulled it back in a ponytail before saying, "Not really. My Economics class is becoming a challenge."

"Trig is going kill me this year." I complained.

Embry replied, "That's what I'm taking. I have trouble with certain things."

"Oh, that's right." I said, "You skipped ahead a year in math."

Jacob jumped in and teased, "Yeah, he skipped ahead a year in math _and_ science. And he doubled up on histories last year. Embry the Genius. He's finished with all of history electives now."

Embry cracked a smile and joked back, "Don't be jealous, Jake."

I reached for another chip. Quil asked, "On a real note, could you tutor me again this year, Em?"

"Of course." He replied earnestly, "I'll help you."

The three boys continued talking for a few minutes. I fidgeted, wondering how I always ended up in the most uncomfortable of the table's chairs. I leaned to the right in order to ease the ache on my left side. I accidently brushed against Jacob's shoulder and froze. Jacob just shot me a sunny grin and playfully bumped his shoulder against my own in retaliation. He went back to arguing with Quil and laughing even though he was trying valiantly not to do so. After a while, I began thinking of the garage and wondering if the motorbikes would ever be functionable. Jacob and I only worked on them on the days that the boys weren't present. It was our thing.

Jacob gently nudged me and said, "I've got to grab something from the garage. Come take a walk with me."

  
Quil snorted as I frowned and stood. I wondered what Jacob had to get and was about to ask when Quil sarcastically said, "You might as well tell her you wanted to suck face in private. You can't lie well, my friend."

My face blushed and my eyes rounded the slightest bit. I crossed my arms over my stomach and tried not to stare at any of the three boys, but the thick silence was dreadful. I looked at Jacob's seething face. He replied in a steel voice, "Really, Quil? Are you purposely trying to embarrass her? You're such a dick sometimes."

"I'm only messing around." Quil rolled his eyes in moderate annoyance as he munched on another chip. He replied, "Cool it, cuz."

Jacob narrowed his eyes and demanded, "Don't say stuff like that anymore. I'm serious, Quil. You know it bothers her, so lay off."

"Okay, okay." Quil put his hands up. His gaze turned in my direction. He apologized, "I won't mention any sexual situations, phrases, statements or questions involving you or Jake in your presence again."

Averting my eyes, I shrugged as carelessly as possible. There was an awkward pause as I stared at my shoes. I heard shuffling and Quil sighing heavily. "I'm sorry."

I mumbled, "It's fine, Quil."

He smiled charmingly and asked, "But really, Jake, do you honestly have to go get something? Or did you just want to sneak off with her?"

Jacob retorted flatly, "You're a dick. Get out of my house."

Quil grinned and replied, "Now, I can come up with all kinds of jokes with that word of choice you keep throwing around."

"Let's just go, Jake." I said, rolling my eyes at Quil. I took Jacob's forearm and dragged him outside. As the door slammed shut, I heard Embry speaking. "Good going, numb-nuts. Way to scare off Bella for good."

Once we trekked to the garage, I leaned against the car as Jacob pawed halfheartedly through a bucket of bolts. There was a dark red stain blooming across the tops of his strong cheekbones. It was the first time I had ever seen him blush. I hesitantly asked, "Do you guys really stay angry like this?"

Jacob's gaze softened when he looked at me. He shook his head and answered, "Quil and I fight a lot. Unfortunately, he's my family and my best friend. He's a good guy even if he seems like an ass. Don't worry about our bickering, Bells. Really."

"Awe." Quil's voice was very high-pitched and echoed loudly. He came barreling round the treeline while batting his eyes ridiculously. He said, "Jakey! I love you, too. I wasn't aware of your secret feelings for me, Handsome."

My face turned red and an unexpected giggle erupted from my lips. Jacob let out a chuckle as he rubbed his forehead and replied, "You're unbelievable, man."

Quil held up soda cans. Wiggling them suggestively, he stepped forward. Jacob leaned forward and snatched one. Quil held out his hand to me as he asked, "Do you want one, Bells?"

"Sure, sure." I replied while thinking he meant this as a peace offering. Just as my fingertips brushed the can, Quil jerked it out of reach.

He grinned wide and said, "You have to say the magic phrase."

"What's the magic phrase, Quil?" I played along, knowing there was a higher chance of him leaving us alone if he could finish his antics.

He said, "You have to repeat after me. Say 'Quil is a sexy beast.'"

My face heated to a boiling point. I dryly said, "I'd be lying if I said that."

Jacob laughed in a deep, booming baritone. I took a moment to admire the way he threw his head back. His broad chest shook with the sound and he clapped big palms in applause. Quil was unfazed, however, and began dancing about quite badly.

"It's in the rule book, Bells!" Quil stood and dramatically began to walk away. Jake sighed before saying, "Give it to her, man."

"No!" Quil laughed and kept walking.

Jacob replied in exasperation. "They're my sodas, you idiot."

Quil repeated very slowly, "'Quil is a sexy beast'. She says five simple words."

Jacob cut his eyes in my direction and I felt slightly awkward. I narrowed my eyes and repeated firmly, "No. Way."

Quil shrugged and responded, "You're a pathetic chicken, Bella. And you're a sap, Jake. See you guys later on." He began to disappear behind a line of trees, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of winning. I blurted, "Quil is a sexy beast."

Turning back to face us, Quil was grinning manically. He let out a loud whoop, pumped his fist in the air and exclaimed, "Now that's what I'm talking about, Bells. I knew you'd admit it eventually."

I felt dizzy with embarrassment. I retorted, "Where's my soda then?"

Quil grinned boyishly and tossed it my way. He laughed when I nearly fell over trying to catch it. He said, "I'm joking. I think both Em and I know who you _really_ think is a sexy beast."

Staring at my shoes, I desperately tried ignoring him. The sound of a soda top popping was louder than a gun shot. The liquid fizzled and sloshed everywhere, but I firmly stared at the can and not Jacob. I had no idea what look he gave to Quil, but a moment of tense silence passed. I hoped the ground would swallow me whole.

"Yeah, yeah." Quil snipped, "I got better things to do than spy on you two. Probably don't do anything interesting, anyway. Sorry for upsetting you, Bella."

I was acutely aware of how red my face was when both boys glanced at me. I cleared my throat and mumbled, "Fine."

The silence was screaming. My face was still so hot, I was sure I could fry an egg on my forehead. Jacob said, "Hey. Don't worry about him. Quil's a world-class idiot."

I peeked at him before slurping on my soda. I said, "At least I'm not a chicken."

He laughed, "Of course, you aren't, Bells."

I stole a quick glance at him and was relieved to see his wide smile and dancing eyes. He looked the same as he always did. He didn't seem as if he felt uncomfortable. Maybe I was overreacting. Jacob slurped on his soda. The familiar sound had my tense shoulders relaxing somewhat. The incident wasn't mentioned again for the rest of the day.


	9. Chapter Eight

The next weekend, Jacob called on Friday evening. I was about to assure him that I would definitely be at his garage Saturday morning after I finished a report. After my reassurance, Jacob mentioned a new horror movie he wanted to see at the local theater. There was a showing at eight o'clock and he had earned enough spending money from fixing a neighbor's vehicle. When I asked if anybody else was going, he explained that Embry was working with his mom at their local store. Quil was on a date with a new girl. Because Jacob was so excited and because I knew he rarely had money to go to a theater, I agreed reluctantly.

I said, "I'll come pick you up in about an hour. Is that cool?"

Jacob replied happily, "Oh, you don't have to this time, Bells."

I frowned in confusion. "What? You found another ride?"

Jacob cooed, "Nope. I've got my own ride now."

I gasped, "Oh, my God! You have the Rabbit running?"

He had laughed, a full and deep baritone that never failed to remind me of sugar and spice. We talked for a moment more before I hung up. After pacing my bedroom floor for a while, I put my shoes on and went downstairs.

I dug through my back pack, knowing I had ten dollars in there. After pulling nearly everything out, I found the crumpled bill. With a cry of triumph, I stuffed it in my back pocket just in time for the doorbell to ring. I barely had time to hope Jacob wouldn't see this situation as a romantic date before Charlie came out of the kitchen. He was holding a can of beer and the local newspaper.

"Uh, Dad." I walked over just as he was about to open the door. "It's just Jake." Charlie frowned and then nodded. I explained, "We're going to the movies."

He raised his eyebrows before simply saying, "Be back by eleven, Bells."

I nodded, opened the door, and was immediately engulfed in a big, soft hug. I protested, "I can't breathe, Jake."

Jacob twirled me around on the front porch. He set me down after a moment and kicked the door shut behind him. I sighed, "Put me down right now."

"You all set?" He asked, ignoring my tone completely, as we started walking to his car. He had his arm slung around my shoulders. As warm as he was and as lovely as I found his smile, I felt uncomfortable at his touch in that moment. It wasn't as if he were being inappropriate. I had a difficult time ever imagining a kind person like Jacob taking advantage of a girl. Though, I had certainly learned that Jacob was a friendly and affectionate person by nature. I liked his hugs, but the big arm touching my neck and shoulders felt like too much to handle. Too warm. Too close. Too intimate.

"You okay?" He questioned with a curious frown upon his face.

"Yeah." I opened the passenger side door and got in after a moment of admiration. After a couple minutes the car warmed up and I turned the heater down on low. The cab of the car smelled of motor oil, old leather, and rain. When I sat back against the seat, Jacob slung his arm around my shoulders. I was tense for several minutes. I watched him focus on the road and maneuver the steering wheel with one hand. I debated with myself for quite a while. A crick was beginning to build from the strain of keeping my neck off of Jacob's arm. I sighed quietly. Leaning my head against him, I asked, "What movie do you want to see?"

"The one with the zombies." He instantly replied.

"I don't know." I joked, "You might get too scared."

He snorted, "Whatever. I'll have to hold you and cover your eyes."

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Nope, Jacob. I'll end up holding _you."_

He looked at me as we pulled in the parking lot of the theater. He said, "I wouldn't mind either way."

And then Jacob opened the car door and climbed out quite quickly. The whole walk to the theater, I was repeating Jacob's words inside of my head. The suddenly serious tone. The covert glance. The embarrassed exit. I was fascinated and horrified as we both stood in line to buy movie tickets. My heart was beating too quickly in my chest. I felt feverish. I had a sinking feeling that I had encouraged him and allowed the physical touches to blur the lines of friendship, which I admitted was a common reoccurrence. Leaning on each other. Fingers brushing. The big hugs. The occasional twirling around in circles. The intense stares. The constant teasing from his friends.

I was pulled out of my stupor by a familiar voice. One that I was entirely too familiar with. Mike Newton stood a few feet away in line to get tickets for a romantic movie, but they were out of seats. I could over hear the sales lady talking to him. I hoped he hadn't seen me. I even, discreetly, tried hiding behind Jacob.

_No such luck._ Mike spotted me as Jacob moved forward in line.

"Bella!" He exclaimed in surprise.

"Dang it…" I muttered and plastered a fake smile on my face. I watched Jacob frown and I wondered if he heard what I had said. I had no further time to think about it, or even ask Jacob if he had heard me, because Mike walked forward.

"Hey, Bella." He awkwardly wrapped his arms around me as I stayed stiff like a board. Mike held me for an extended moment before he stepped back, clearing his throat. Jacob was standing just in front of us, his big arms across his large chest. His dark eyebrows moved up in a silent question. I sent a plea filled expression. Jacob cleared his throat loudly and Mike suddenly let go of my elbow, which he had been clinging to like a monkey. I stumbled back a step. Both boys stepped forward at the same time. Mike reached me first and I could easily see Jacob's angered expression.

I slipped out of Mike's grasp and asked, "What are you doing here, Mike?"

He was unaffected by the looks and vibes coming from Jacob as he replied, "I was going to see that new romantic comedy, but it's sold out. Jessica is hanging out with Lauren. Ben is with Angela. Eric is out of town. I'm bored. What are you up to this weekend?"

I motioned to Jacob. Mike reluctantly glanced at him. I cleared my throat and tried not to look at the annoyed gaze of Jacob. I said, "This is my friend, Jacob. We were going to see a movie."

"Oh…" Mike turned to Jacob with a plain look of distaste and then turned back to me. He teased, "So, did you miss me? I bet that truck of merchandise for the store wasn't easy to handle last Friday. Sorry, but I had that date with Candice."

I cut my eyes at Jacob before muttering, "I managed."

"Well, don't worry." Mike replied cheerfully, "I'll be back tomorrow to help with the next shipment. What's your schedule for the week?"

I mumbled, "I don't have a shift until Tuesday afternoon. Kelly has been-"

"I could ask Mom to take you off the roster for Friday." Mike interrupted as if I hadn't spoken at all. His baby-blue eyes were twinkling as he eagerly said, "Angela and Ben mentioned they wanted to head to Port Angeles next weekend. We could meet up with them. What do you think?"

"Uh," I cleared my throat and shook my head. I pulled my elbows closer together until my arms were across my trembling stomach. "No. Don't ask your mom to change my schedule. I'd rather just work the shifts I'm given. That isn't fair to the other employees, Mike."

"So?" Mike shrugged with a smile. "Mom wouldn't care."

"No." I replied tightly, "Look, Mike, it was nice to see you. We're going to be late for the movie. Come on, Jake."

I turned slightly to the side and reached out to touch Jacob's shoulder. His face was sharper and darker than I'd ever seen it before. The look was making me very nervous. Mike had to look up in order to glare at Jacob, who towered over him and made him seem like a child in comparison. It was a startling sight. People were milling around the lobby, bypassing us with disgruntled expressions. Mike reached out as if he might hug me again, but Jacob sharply said, "Don't touch her."

There was an ugly pause. I held my breath, staring from one boy to the other.

Mike glared at Jacob before he sniffed, "Gone from Cullen to rude rez rats now, Bella? When will you realize you deserve better?"

"Mike!" I gaped for a moment before the shock wore off and I became angry. I snapped, "That's no way to treat someone, Mike. He's my _friend._ "

Jacob spoke up. "Maybe it would be better if you walk away, Mike."

The anger barely hidden in his deep voice made me want to shiver. Jacob had _never_ sounded like that before. And things suddenly seemed to be turning in a wrong direction.

"Excuse me?" Mike rounded on Jacob. His mere boyish build compared to Jacob's tall height worried me. "I don't know who you are, but Bella and I have been friends for a long time."

"Since she was a toddler?" Jacob retorted, "That's how long we've known each other. Now, I don't like how you come over here, hug her when she doesn't want to be hugged, and then act racist toward me."

I stepped between the guys who were getting entirely too far into each other's space. The thought of fighting made my stomach queasy. The thought of Jacob being cuffed by my own father made me want to vomit. One hand brushed against Jacob's chest. His breathing was accelerated.

"Jake…" I whispered, grabbing my stomach. Suddenly, I was washed with a wave of dizziness. I whispered, "Jake, stop, please…"

He noticed my tone immediately. Taking dark eyes off of Mike, he reached out and gently held my shoulders. He crouched over and looked me in the eyes. "Are you sick, Bells?"

I managed a nod. He whispered, "Okay. Let's get you to the car." He led me halfway there before I abruptly stopped and slapped my hand across my stomach.  
"Bells?" Jacob questioned carefully.

I shook my head and took a deep breath. I began walking again, willing myself not to be ill. Jacob opened the passenger door and helped me into the car. He got me home in record time. I was halfway into the house when I felt a sudden jerk behind my naval. Running as fast as I could, I nearly knocked Charlie over to get to the trash can in the kitchen. I vomited heavily. Jacob was behind me a second later. He held my hair gently. A moment after that I felt a wet cloth being pressed to my neck.

"Jake, don't stay." I moaned and vomited again.

"I'm not leaving until I know you'll be okay." He spoke firmly.

"Here, Bells." Charlie softly pressed a glass of water in my hand. I took cautious sips and eased away from the trash can. Jacob still held the wet cloth to my neck and I blushed at the closeness of our bodies. I felt betrayed and shameful when my body willed me to be even closer to him.

"I'll be okay, Jake." I nodded, but soon realized it made me dizzy. I stuck my hand out and held on to the counter top. When I opened my eyes, I was staring at the gazes of the two men who meant the most to me. That thought made me sigh. My life was beginning to get complicated. Again.

I croaked, "I'll call you tomorrow morning, alright?"

Jacob nodded before looking over at Charlie. "If she gets worse, will you let me know, please, Charlie?"

My father nodded after looking thoughtfully at Jacob. With that Jacob kissed the top of my head and left. A moment after he walked out the door Charlie asked, "Bells, how are you feeling?"

I answered faintly, "Like crap. I think I'll go take a shower. I'm probably going to be camped out in the bathroom tonight."

"Okay." He waited until I stood up and was just walking past him when he stammered, "You and Jacob….?"

I mumbled, "Nothing is going on, Dad. We're friends."

He cleared his throat and stuck his hands in his pockets. I took that as my sign to leave. After my bath, I became ill again. Trying to stay as hydrated as possible, I drank a cupful of water every time I became sick. Eventually, long after the early hours of morning, I fell asleep with my sweaty cheek pressed to the cold bathroom floor.

I awoke sometime later to a pressured feeling in my stomach. I leaned up and over just in time to be violently sick. My back felt as if it had been stomped on, whether it was because I slept on the hard floor or because I vomited several times, I didn't know. I knew I had a fever. I was sweating profusely, my hands were shaky, and my breathing was labored.

With a groan, I stood up and washed the sick out of my mouth. With another groan, I stripped and got in the shower. I was light headed and unbearably thirsty. Minutes later when I was freshly clean, I headed downstairs to the kitchen. I slowly sipped a glass of apple juice, and read the note Charlie left on the fridge. He was gone to work and wanted to make a doctor appointment for me if I wasn't feeling better by the next day.

By that time, it was a little after ten and I wondered if Jacob had slept in today. I felt tired and wanted to sleep, but first I dialed the number I knew better than my own mother's.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

"Hey, Jake." I replied faintly.

"Oh, Bells." His voice filled with excitement, "How are you?"

"Still sick." I replied, "Dad bought me medicine."

"Do you feel any better, Bells?" His voice sounded tired and serious.

I croaked, "Barely."

"Do you want me to come over?" He asked hopefully, "I could bring soup."

"Thanks, Jake, but I don't want you sick. You might already get sick as it is."

He insisted, "I don't care about that, you know…"

I sighed, "Jake, I'm really tired. I'll call you later after I wake up."

"Okay, sure." He whispered, "Get better, Bells."

"I will." I said, "When I'm better you can come over and we'll watch bad horror movies, eat popcorn, and maybe talk Charlie into buying pizza."

"Sounds like a slumber party." Before I had time to make an arrogant retort, he laughed and added, "I love it. Let's do it."

"Great." I said softly. "Bye, Jake."

His voice was just as soft when he said, "Bye, Bells."

"Oh!" I gasped, "Wait, Jake."

"What?" His voice was alert and sharp.

I said, "Thank you for dealing with Mike."

"Not a problem, Bella." His voice was serious again. A moment of silence passed. He asked, "Why do you have a guy like that around, Bells?"

I didn't know how to explain Mike Newton to Jacob. Not to mention, I was scared to talk about boyfriends or, as was the case, _not_ boyfriends. I said, "He's complicated. I don't know how to explain…"

There was a pause. He said, "Okay, Bells."

I bit my lip and cleared my throat before saying, "Talk to you later, Jake."


	10. Chapter Nine

There are times in life when an unexpected situation occurs. Some seemingly small situation that would leave one in awe. A shining of light on a gray and dull day. That was how I thought of Jacob. My unexpected light. Somehow, in a relatively short amount of time, my weekends in his humid, muggy garage were the light in my gray-sky life. Despite my constant nightmares and zombie-like intentions, I slowly began to come to life around Jacob. Only around Jacob.

My new favorite pastime was contemplating what made me react to him the way I did. What made him so special? Made him so good, so innocent, so joyful? I was drawn to him, not like a forceful magnet, but more like a gentle pull of gravity. He was my sun and I was a frozen planet trying desperately to reach warmth. He pulled me in, bit by slow bit, until I was basking in all his beauty. I continued to orbit around him, drawn to him for my very survival.

The profound mystery of Jacob was that he wasn't mysterious at all. He was simple. He was open and friendly. He was full of laughs and smiles. He was kind and so rarely perturbed. It was like he was a superhero with mystical powers. He could deflect darkness and sadness. He could mend a heart with nothing but a grin and a few jokes. It seemed as if no negativity touched him. It all seemed so simple when I was just with him. His emotions rubbed off on me. I had no idea how he did it.

It was a Friday evening at the end of January. I had just ended a four-hour shift at Newton's. My mood had increased steadily as I drove down the familiar roads to La Push Reservation. As I pulled in the pebbled driveway of the Blacks' house, I felt my shoulders physically relax. I shut off the growling of my engine and stepped out the truck. As I slammed the truck door closed a shower of rusty flakes littered the ground. I had only taken a few steps when Jacob came jogging around the corner of his faded red house. His smile was bright and genuine. I felt the foreign pull at my lips that let me know that I was smiling, too.

I watched him as he made his approach. I felt guilty watching him, but I didn't want to look away. Seeing him with that big smile just made me feel lighter. He was tall, towering over me at a mindboggling height. More than once, we had joked that he would become a giant by the time he hit eighteen-years-old. His shoulders were strong and it seemed that he was growing a broader, muscular physique with each passing week. His denim jeans were worn and covered in grease, but I didn't mind at all. He was wearing a faded olive-green sweatshirt that seemed as if it was nearly too small for him. I briefly chewed on my lip, worrying that Billy and Jacob didn't have enough money for new clothes. If his grown spurt continued, none of his clothes would fit properly.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me in a warm, welcoming hug. The way his arms would squeeze me tightly and his strong chin would unintentionally tickle my neck were both comforting and terrifying. The comfort I felt brought such relief to my tattered soul that I wished the hugs could go on for days. Unfortunately, I had more than noticed Jacob's expressions. His actions since our encounter with Mike left me with the strong suspicion that Jacob wanted to be more than friends. It wasn't just Quil's crass remarks that had me feeling queasy. The awkwardness was slowly turning into a slick ball of guilt in the bottom of my stomach. And I knew it was because I couldn't give Jacob what he wanted. I was the first to gently untangle myself from his grasp. He greeted me with an easy smile, "Hey, Bells."

I gave a small smile and replied, "Hey, Jake."

He offered me his hand, palm up. After a slight hesitation, I took his hand and let him lead me around the back of his house. The hand holding had started rather recently and I never had the heart to reject him. We walked across the large backyard in a slow amble. Neither of us were in a hurry. As we got closer to the four-walled metal shack that posed as his personal garage, I noticed that our motorbikes were leaning against the shed itself. Under usual circumstances those were kept in the back part of the building and worked on in secret. I asked, "What's up with the bikes?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders and stated, "I thought we could use some fresh air."

I followed his actions and sat down beside the black bike. His bike. He began to tinker with a spring of some sort.

I asked curiously, "Where's your boys today?"

Jacob shrugged as he worked. "Quil is helping his grandfather. Haven't seen Embry in a few days. I think he's getting sick. He could barely stay awake in class today. Looked rough. Must have caught the stomach bug you had."

I hummed under my breath, focusing my attention on the expert way his hands moved, but I got distracted by his long black hair. I felt guilt rip at my heart for finding his hair beautiful. It was a form of betrayal, I knew, to visit Jacob and allow him to comfort me. It was a betrayal to think of Jacob as a beautiful person, but he _was_ beautiful. I couldn't fault him by pretending otherwise. I tried to mentally tell myself that I wasn't truly being disloyal by craving Jacob's company, but my heart didn't agree. I had come so far down the road of betrayal that I was fairly sure there was no going back. Several seconds passed before I realized I had inadvertently thought of _him._ Another long moment passed and then I was falling apart.

I felt my chest aching and I could tell that the gaping wound Jacob had been sewing back together was slowly unraveling. It was as if my nightmares had manifested in front of me and sucked me into a black hole. My stomach muscles tightened with sharp pains. My chest grew heavy as if somebody was sitting on top of me. I began to inhale and exhale too quickly. My hands went around my stomach to give me some sort of protection. I was sure my body would break into pieces soon.

Jacob glanced at me and I saw the swift concern spread across his face as he came to sit beside me. I noticed his lips moving, but I couldn't hear him. I forced air into my lungs and let it loose in a wheezing gust. Black dots danced in my vision.

"Bella," Jacob's voice was husky and covered me like a warm blanket. I looked at him through my blurry vision. I tried to speak, but I only managed to breathlessly say his name. His eyes were dark and familiar. He spoke firmly, "I need you to slow your breathing down. I need you to listen to the sound of my voice."  
I nodded weakly and felt him still my trembling hands with his own. He spoke calmly and slowly, "Lean against my chest. Listen to the sound of my heartbeat."

I shook my head and gasped, "No."

"You're having a panic attack, Bella." He replied in the same calm tone, "We have to slow your heartbeat and breathing or you might pass out."

Jacob pulled on my shoulders just firmly enough that I couldn't physically resist him. I was too tired to resist him anyway. I crumbled against his chest and gasped, "It…won't…stop."

"You can stop it," He said as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist. "Stop thinking and just breathe. Do you hear me? _Breathe, Bella. Breathe."_

It took several minutes of weak attempts before my galloping heartbeat eased and began to thump in time with Jacob's. My body, so tense before, lied limp in Jacob's grasp. I was panting and tears were leaking out of the corner of my eyes against my will. My throat felt scorched and dry. I told myself to move out of his arms, but I didn't have the energy to bother. A long time passed before he asked, "Do you have these episodes often, Bells?"

I croaked, "Yes."

I continued to stare blankly at the black bike perching to our right. He knew I didn't want to talk, so we elapsed back into silence. I wondered, for the hundredth time, how Jacob always seemed to know my moods and what I wanted. He seemed content to hold me, and despite my guilt, I allowed him to do so. My wheezing inhales and the distant sound of the ocean were the only sounds to be heard.

I took Jacob's advice and didn't bother to think. My mind was blissfully blank. I felt the heat radiating from his chest and through my back, thawing out my frozen insides. I felt his hand rhythmically running through my hair. I felt him humming quietly. The sound was sweet and thick like honey. Still, I didn't think. More time passed and the light gray sky turned a midnight blue.

I spoke, "How do you know what a panic attack is?"

He replied quietly, "Rachel had them after my mom died. She was diagnosed by a doctor after we thought she was having a heart attack."

I stated, "You knew what to do to help me."

His fingers wrapped around a lock of my hair as he whispered, "Yes, Bells."

I spoke in croaky voice, "I didn't know what these things were."

A cold gust of wind blew passed us and I shivered, automatically curling my body closer to Jacob's heat. He whispered, "We should go inside. Storm's coming."

My eyes closed and I said, "I don't want to move."

He whispered, "You need rest. You can sleep in my bedroom. I'll take the sofa."

I forced myself not to think as I asked, "Charlie?"

Jacob reassured, "Dad will call him. Tell him the weather is getting too bad."

My body was painfully stiff from staying in one position for so long, but Jacob held onto my shoulders as I limped across the yard. We walked into the house. I couldn't help but feel nervous when Billy glanced our way. His dark eyes held too much wisdom as he took in my appearance. All he said was, "There is food in the oven. You two grab yourselves a plate."

With that, he turned back to the television. I swallowed and winced at the pain. Jacob's eyes missed nothing. He nodded toward the rickety kitchen table. I sat down and watched as he poured a tall glass of water. He wordlessly handed it to me before turning toward the oven. After pulling out a chicken casserole and cutting two portions, he served the dish and sat down next to me. He was within touching distance and my body relaxed, as if it knew he was close by.

I drank deeply from the cup of water before nibbling at the casserole. Thoughts were attempting to break me down, but I managed to hold them at bay. Thinking would drive me insane. I knew that. Thinking too deeply brought forth panic attacks. That was a new thought in itself. I wondered if that made me crazy. I surely thought I was crazy. Hadn't I wandered aimlessly through the forest at night? Hadn't I spent several weeks without registering what I was doing day after day, like a brainless zombie on autopilot, missing chunks of time? _You are kinda crazy, Bella._

Pain hit me like a sucker-punch to the stomach. My hand released my fork and it clattered loudly against my plate. Jacob reached across the table and gripped my hand tightly. He whispered, "Breathe, Bella."

Hadn't I brought those broken-down bikes to Jacob with the sole purpose of distracting myself? _Selfish, Bella._ The smell of pine and motor oil. The sound of deep laughter and ocean waves. Fish fry and picture frames and big, gentle hands. _How could I use such a selfless person like Jacob for my own personal gain?_ I felt a quiet sob burst from my lips. Jacob cast a glance at his father, a mere stone's throw away from us. The man was pretending to watch the television, but I had caught him glancing at me twice.

Jacob whispered, "You have to breathe, Bella. Focus on something else. Anything."

I shook my head and took a ragged breath. Jacob's eyes were too intense for a sixteen-year-old boy. I took another deep breath and released it slowly. He nodded and whispered, "Good."

I wiped at my swollen eyes and stared at my lap. There was a moment of silence and then Jacob's voice rose as he called out, "Hey, Dad?"

Billy turned to look at us. He said, "Yeah, son?"

"Could you call Charlie for us? Bella isn't used to the rain yet; she doesn't want to drive in this storm." Jacob's voice was even and calm.  
Billy eyed me and gave a kind smile. "If you're sure…"

He and Jacob stared at one another for a long moment before Billy softly said, "I'll call Charlie in just a moment. Neither of you worry about it."

I helped Jacob wash the dishes with nerves growing inside of me. I had never meant for him to realize how messed up I was. I hadn't meant to show him my panic attacks. I hadn't meant to cry in front of him. I had shown how weak I was. How pitiful. _How long until he leaves? Until he asks me to leave?_ _Stupid, Bella._ Jacob didn't seem any different. In fact, he helped me as if it was a normal occurrence for him to aid people who almost pass out from hyperventilation. I didn't know what I was more afraid of; Jake's condemnation or his absence. Just as the last dish was dry, Jacob said, "Follow me. Don't trip on the rug."

Billy was quietly talking on the landline by the front door. As we passed by, he gave a gentle smile in my direction. We passed two closed doors before we reached our destination. Jacob's bedroom. The room was small with just enough space for a bed and a wooden dresser. He had a pile of rumbled clothes in one corner and various piles of magazines and notebooks on the scuffed hardwood floor. He scratched the back of his head and mumbled, "Let me clean this up really quick."

My nerves melted and were replaced with tired amusement as Jacob juggled handfuls of junk in his hands. He threw it all into a hazardous pile by the foot of his bed before unearthing a desk chair from beneath the crumbled pile of clothes in the corner. He gestured to it and said, "Have a seat, Bells."

I cautiously went around debris before sitting on the chair. We stared at one another for a moment before he asked, "Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow?"

I blinked in surprise and mumbled, "What?"

Jacob smiled and asked, "The beach? Tomorrow?"

"U-Um…sure, sure."  
"Why do you look so confused, Bells?"

"I just thought…"

He raised his dark brows and asked, "You thought what?"

I said quietly, "I thought this was going to be a different conversation."

Jacob's chuckling stopped and his smile turned gentle instead of bright. His voice was tender as he offered in a casual voice, "You know I'm willing to help you whenever and with whatever, right, Bells?"

I sighed, "You're already doing so much for me."

He shook his head and replied, "I'm willing to do whatever you need me to."

Although I had realized his feelings ran deeper than regular friendship, I was still shocked to hear Jacob's casual declaration. His dark eyes continued to gaze gently at me until I desperately asked, "What else could you possibly do to help me, Jake?"

Jacob expression turned grim as he asked, "Do you want the truth?"

I hesitated before nodding.

"I think," He explained slowly, "you bottle up your emotions and isolate yourself from people. You force yourself to be alone and then you dwell on all the bad stuff. I want to help. We can take small steps by just talking. Talking can help. It did with me when Mom died."

My heart was thumping unevenly as I abruptly stood up and muttered, "I need to go home to Charlie."

Jacob stood as well and held up his hands. He said, "You're upset and Billy has already called Charlie. Don't you think he will wonder why you drove home after Billy called to say you didn't want to drive in this weather? You aren't thinking straight, honey. Just sleep in here. I won't bother you anymore."

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I forced them down. I blinked numerous times before saying, "How are you always right?"

"I'm not always right, Bells," Jacob patiently said, "Get some rest. Is there anything I can get you before you go to bed? An extra blanket?"

I shook my head and gently sat on the edge of his bed. I felt unbelievably awkward for being in his bed, but tried not to think too deeply. After a few seconds, Jacob walked out of the bedroom and shut the door. I took a deep breath, slipped off my jacket, and my shoes before climbing underneath the blankets. Jacob's earthy smell drowned my senses, but I found it comforting. I pulled his pillow closer to my face and snuggled deeper beneath the blankets. As I drifted off to sleep, I realized that Jacob Black was the most insightful person I had ever met.

I woke the next morning to dim light coming from the window to the right of Jacob's bed. I spent several minutes with my body frozen as my thoughts raced with the memories of yesterday. Embarrassed, I sat up. I slipped my shoes on and tiptoed down the hallway. Billy's bedroom door was wide open, but his room was empty. The living room and small kitchen were empty except for a snoring Jacob. When I saw him, my feet halted their shuffle. His long body was sprawled across the sofa with one leg dangling off the edge. His right hand was touching the wooden floor. I imagined his bicep and forearm would be hurting from the position his arm was in. His full lips were shaped in an adorable O-shape and his snores were loud enough that I wondered if his throat would be sore when he woke.

I didn't consciously make the decision to walk toward him, but my feet moved anyway. I softly ran my fingertips through his hair once. It was as soft as silk. His snores cut off abruptly. I jumped back, tripped over my own feet, and smashed to the floor with a loud thudding noise. Jacob bolted upright and blinked rapidly. He frowned and mumbled, "Bells?"

Awareness slowly came into his dark eyes and then he dove to the floor and said, "Oh, crap, Bells. Are you okay? What happened?"

My face was blushing fiercely as I mumbled, "Um…I tripped."

He chuckled and glanced around. "Were you trying to wake me up?"

I blushed an even deeper shade of red and mumbled, "No."

Jacob grinned and stated, "Might as well make breakfast since you woke me."

I spent the rest of my day filled with amusement. Jacob did all he could to fumble around and make large messes in the Blacks' small kitchen. He threw wet sand at me on the beach when I sat too long and began to think too deeply. We played an embarrassing game of chase which ended with me falling on my face. By the time I got into my truck cab and headed back home, my clothes and hair were both damp with salt water. I was smiling when I walked in the house and Charlie immediately noticed. He greeted me with a smile of his own.

He asked, "Did you have fun with Jake?"

I nodded and replied, "Yeah. I did."


	11. Chapter Ten

Mondays were usually dull and left me with entirely too much time to think. At school, I focused on every lesson with as much concentration as a brain surgeon would during an operation. I purposely ignored every dig through at me by snickering girls. I dodged Mike constantly and was glad for the rare occasions he left me alone. During lunch time, I stayed huddled in the library and worked out every trigonometry problem for future assignments. Numbers and formulas were still jumping around in my head like ping-pong balls as I headed home. As I walked in the front door and dropped my backpack to the floor, I immediately realized that I had made a mistake.

The house was silent. Too still. Too quiet. Too dark. I had no more homework to do, so I had to find a task to keep me from drowning in thoughts. With quick steps, I went into the kitchen and grabbed all of the cleaning supplies beneath the sink. I attacked the house as if it had personally offended me. Armed with bleach and a mop, I scrubbed the white linoleum floors until they sparkled. I chased every dust bunny, swiped every nook and corner, and vacuumed all the fabric furniture. I didn't stop once because I knew what would happen if I did. I would think. I would wonder. I would obsess. I would drown.

By the time Charlie came home from work, I was folding the third load of his laundry and pulling a fresh batch of enchiladas from the oven. Charlie's brown eyes grew large as he commented, "You sure did clean a lot today."

I handed him a plate full of enchiladas and a tall cup of milk.

I said, "I was bored."

I managed to eat a small portion of dinner, but couldn't quite bring myself to finish. For the rest of our dinner time, I listened as Charlie made short comments about his day at the station. He questioned briefly about school work, but I answered him in the vaguest way possible. As time ticked by, my anxiety grew. I didn't want to go to my bedroom. Didn't want to stop moving. After Charlie went to listen to the radio and routinely oil his gun, I washed the dishes as slowly as possible and scrubbed the kitchen table unnecessarily.

Charlie came into the room to grab a beer from the refrigerator. He cleared his throat and said, "Um…It's after ten at night, Bella. You can stop cleaning."

I met his eyes, but quickly looked away. Without saying a word, I threw the wet scrub brush in the sink and climbed the stairs. My feet felt like they were covered in cement as I forced myself to continue to climb. I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I entered my bedroom. I took my time undressing and slipping into a t-shirt and cotton pants. With a sense of despair nestled inside of me, I climbed into my bed and closed my eyes.

My week continued in the same fashion: Total focus on school related work followed by cleaning and cooking. I tried picking up extra shifts at Newton's, but there were none to be had. It was a dull, yet anxious pattern. A never-ending loop that left me emptier every single day. I continued on only because I would rather feel empty than feel the breathtaking pain that _he_ had left me with. Somehow- maybe pity from fate- allowed me to sleep restlessly, but without the normal level of screaming and crying.

I called Jacob twice that week, spending just a few minutes asking about is day and hearing him update me on the status of the motorbikes. I didn't fail to notice how Jacob filled the awkward pauses with chatter, but it wasn't nervously quick chatter as if he wanted to get off of the phone quickly. It was a slow and sure stream of considerate questions, intelligent explanations, and humorous stories. The steady, low sound of his murmuring eased me. Strangely, his voice helped keep the nightmares at bay. Until Thursday night.

_I was standing in the forest. It seemed I was always in the forest. In the shadows. The towering trees billowed as the icy wind whipped around my naked legs. My body shook so violently that I had to lock my knees, so I wouldn't fall down. My feet were bare and so cold that they felt numb. My heart was hammering heavily and unevenly. The silence, except for the whistling anger of the wind, made hot tears pool behind my eyelids. I took a wobbly step forward because I knew that I couldn't stand still. I was being watched. I called out, "Edward?"_

_My voice was thin and hoarse as I called out from him again and again. My heartbeat increased as I stumbled forward. The more I moved, the more the trees came alive. Their twisted branches reached down to grab me. Roots came flying out of the ground, spraying geysers of soil in every direction. I stumbled and fell to my knees. I was so breathless that the scream built in my throat, but couldn't be released. I coughed and hysterically sobbed, "Edward…help me."_

_The tree roots were gnarled and as thick as the body of a large snake. They wiggled and slithered across the moss-covered forest floor as if they knew exactly what they were searching for. Hunting for. Hunting me. A scream tore from my throat as the warm root wrapped its way around my ankle. Frantically, I clawed at my leg. I kicked in desperation and sobbed in low, wailing tones. I tried to call out for Edward, but my throat felt like it was tightening._

_I heard a loud snapping noise and was momentarily distracted. I tried to turn toward the sound. My heart pounded heavily in my ears and fear's greedy fingers were yanking at me. I couldn't breathe. From the shadows, I heard another snapping noise. And then I saw blood-red eyes. Rubies in the darkness. For a single second, my heart stopped, and then it thumped weakly. I was paralyzed now. The warm branches wrapping their way up my thighs and around my hips no longer mattered. Even as the trees pulled me closer to the gaping hole within the soil, I couldn't find it in me to care._

_Those ruby-red eyes would kill me before the trees ever could._

I woke with a high-pitched shriek tearing its way free from my throat. As I bolted upright in bed and fought to calm my galloping heart. I was trembling from head to toe and covered in sweat. My tanktop was sticking to my heaving chest. My blankets were a twisted mess at the foot of my bed. My hair was damp, so I swatted it away from my eyes. Once I had calmed down somewhat, I stood on unsure feet. I swayed dangerously, but managed to make my way to the bathroom. I showered with the hottest water, but my body still trembled with the cold as I went back to my bedroom. My breath caught in my throat when a quick glance out of my window showed the forest at the edge of our property. _Monsters. Shadows._

The sky was a dark gray, but I could see the beginnings of pale light in the distance. The trees were moving with gusts of wind. If I listened closely, I could faintly hear the whistle of air as it moved through the cracks of the house. I contemplated what to do for over an hour before Charlie's quiet knock startled me out of my thoughts. I jumped and clutched my towel tightly around my body. My voice was too high-pitched to be considered normal. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I just…" Charlie's voice sounded slow and hesitant, "I wanted to check on you. Do you need anything before I head to work?"

With a sinking heart, I realized Charlie had probably heard me screaming in my sleep. I swallowed to try to ease the tightness in my throat. I called out, "No, Dad."

I listened to the sound of his heavy footfalls and then the quiet closing of our front door. I stepped to my window and watched Charlie drive away in his cruiser. As I dressed, I decided I would be safer at school than at home. There was nothing more to clean. No clothes to wash. No dinner to cook because we had too many leftovers piled up in the refrigerator. I slipped my boots and jacket on before I grabbed my keys and backpack. The cold wind slapped at my cheeks and pushed at my body, but I managed to climb into the cab of my truck with little trouble.

By the time I was rushing into the school building, it had begun to sprinkle. By the time I had finished my morning classes, the dark sky had opened up and it had begun to pour. From my corner in the nearly deserted library, I watched fat raindrops beat against the windows. I was meant to be rereading my newest assigned essay for English, but found myself mentally replaying my nightmare again. Flashes of red eyes had me flinching. I hunched my shoulders and attempted to read the third paragraph on my drafted essay. I underlined a specific mistake in order to make corrections later. Only seconds had passed when a blinding strike of lightning and a jolting clap of thunder caused me to jump in my seat.

I gasped and dropped my pencil. I rubbed my hands over my face in a rough manner before glancing out of the window toward my left. The trees were bending at their tops as if they were reaching for the ground. Or admitting defeat against the strength of the storm. They only reminded me of my nightmare. My breath released in a puff as I looked at the large clock on the library's wall.

My decision was made without my conscious approval. I shoved my books and papers into my backpack, zipped it up, slung it over my shoulder, and walked out of the library. As I rushed down the hallway and toward the front exit, I almost felt guilty. I pulled my hood up and over my head before opening the glass doors and rushing for the parking lot. I had barely taken three steps before icy raindrops began to attack me. My clothes were soaked by the time I reached my truck. It took seconds more than I would have liked, but I finally got my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the truck door. I didn't bother with the heater, but cranked the engine. It roared to life and I winced before pulling out of the school lot as quickly as possible.

As I drove to La Push, I tried to decide what had made me choose to go to Jacob. The logical part of me wished I would have stayed at school because, surely, someone would notice my absence and call Charlie. Staying at school was sensible. Somehow, though, the sensible option didn't matter. What mattered was Jacob and my want to see him. Maybe it was even more than a simple want. It was a longing. A need. As I drove, a headache began to beat in the middle of my forehead. I stopped searching for logical reasons. _Too much. Too much. Too much to think about, Bella._

Like Jacob said, I shouldn't think so much. I focused on driving through the thick sheets of rain. It took twice as long as usual to reach the Reservation, but I did eventually make it. I took my time puttering down the narrow, muddy road that would bring me to the Blacks' house. I parked the truck as close to the faded-red shack as I could.

I pulled the keys from the ignition and checked the time. I knew that my school would not release students for another hour, but I wondered if Jacob's school was on the same schedule. I waited in the cab of the truck for over fifteen minutes before I noticed the curtains on the front window had moved. As I squinted through the rain, I could just make out Billy's face. I unbuckled my seatbelt and shoved my keys in my pocket. As I watched, the front door open. I squinted just in time to catch Billy's gesture for me to come inside.

I threw the truck door open and made a quick dash. I stumbled and nearly fell on the slippery stairs, but managed to make inside. Billy was chuckling as he closed the door. He gestured to a pile of towels sitting on the kitchen table. He said, "Jake will be home soon. Grab a towel and try to dry off."  
I did as he instructed and sighed in relief when he rolled away from the coffee pot with a steaming mug. He handed it to me with a kind smile on his lips. I used the mug to warm my frozen fingertips as Billy gestured to one of the rickety wooden chairs around his even ricketier table. I sat down and gave a tired smile. My voice was soft and weak even to my own ears as I whispered, "Thanks, Billy."

I still felt like his dark eyes were too wise and intense. His eyes saw through me, as if he knew what was wrong even when I didn't. I guess I knew where Jacob got that talent from. My bit my bottom lip and asked, "Is Jacob at school?"

Billy glanced at the watch on his thick wrist and replied, "He should be walking home right about now."

"Walking?" I exclaimed, "In this weather? I could pick him up."

Billy chuckled and I couldn't help but notice how his eyes sparkled with amusement. Just like Jacob's. I sighed as Billy said, "Bella, he has been walking home from school since he was eight. Jacob has been in all kinds of weather."  
I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I mumbled, "He could get sick…"

Billy shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "I doubt it."

Just then, the subject of our conversation came barreling in the door. His very long, dark hair was windblown and tied in a messy ponytail at the nape of his neck. He slammed the door shut and shook his body much like a wet dog. Jacob let out a whoop as he began to shrug his jacket off. He hobbled around as he slipped his muddy shoes off and bent down to stuff them into a small cubby hole by the front door. The whistling of forceful winds could be heard rattling the thin walls. Jacob said, "Dad, the rain is incredible out there. I'm soaked right down to my-"

He turned around and his handsome face broke out into an endearing grin. Jacob exclaimed, "Bells! Hey."

He walked forward and bent down to give me an affectionate bear-hug. I felt a small smile pull at my lips. I asked, "Did you jump in puddles too, Jake? You're covered in mud, you know."

He grinned and shrugged, "Maybe so. When did you get here? I could hardly see an inch in front of my face with all the rain, so I completely missed your truck in the driveway."

I handed over a dry towel out of the pile on the table. Jake roughly rubbed it over his hair. I had to laugh as he winced at the knots forming. I said, "Now you have to brush your hair out."  
He rolled his eyes and dropped the towel over my head. He began to rub in a quick, playful manner. I swatted blindly, but by the sounds of his loud laughter I was sure I wasn't even close to actually hitting my target. It was dark under the towel and all I could smell was a soothing mixture of Jacob and the rain. Fresh and earthy. He finally ripped the towel off of my head and pointed as he said, "Now you have to brush yours, too."

At Jacob's insistence, we ate an after-school snack of cheese sandwiches. I declined a sandwich and held up my mug. He had rolled his eyes and grinned before sitting across from me. I sipped on my mug of warm coffee. He wrinkled his nose and stated, "Coffee is gross, Bells."

I felt the pull of a small smile on my lips once again, and I wondered if I would ever get used to smiling again. It seemed that Jacob was the only one who could force my flat lips to move at all. The only one who could break through my sadness. I must have stared at Jacob for too long because his expression shifted from joyful to an intense and intimate expression that I was beginning to recognize.

He asked, "What's that look for?"

I blinked and muttered, "Uh, what look?"

Jacob smiled softly. "Come on, Bells. You can't fool me. You looked at me all funny. It was kind of nice, actually."

My grip on the mug tightened as I shrugged and avoided his dark eyes. I mumbled, "I'm just glad I got to see you today."  
"Me too, Bells." His voice was a tad bit quieter than before, "You know, I always like spending time with you."  
I felt hesitant at these innocent confessions, but one look at his earnest expression wiped away my doubt. How could I deny such a little thing when it brought him so much happiness? I spoke, "I like spending time with you, too. You're my best friend."

His grin was a million watts' worth of brightness as he said, "You're mine, too."

A moment of silence passed us, but it wasn't awkward. It was almost comforting as I clutched the mug and Jacob washed his dishes. He came back to the table a minute later and sat down across from me. Briefly, just briefly, his leg pressed against mine. I jumped in a startled way and then the pressure from his leg was gone. His face remained friendly and open as if nothing had happened. I took my que from him and pretended as if nothing had happened. I was shivering slightly and the coffee was doing little to help me defrost.

Jacob stood up suddenly and went across the room. He roughly shook a metal box and kicked it once for good measure. I frowned and questioned, "Jake, what…?"

Then the metal box began to make an alarming noise. Jacob smacked it with the flat of his palm and the sharp noise cut off. A humming sound started up. The box began to putter out heat waves. He took a blanket off of the unoccupied sofa and brought it to me, draping it over my shoulders. He plopped down in his seat as my heart stuttered. He asked, "Would you like a pair of dry clothes to change into? I have an old pair of sweatpants in my room. I haven't worn them in years, so they might fit."

I shook my head and pulled the blanket closer to my chest. It smelled like woodsy smoke and spices. I said, "Thanks, Jake."  
"No problem." He said, "Why don't we go to the garage and work on the bikes?"

For the rest of the evening we stayed holed up in his garage. The large, empty room was cool and the thin metal walls rattled with the howling of the wind. There was an old, beaten up sofa in the corner. It smelled dusty and had grease-stained pillows. I was curled up on it with the homemade blanket wrapped around my body. Jake was just beside my legs, sitting on the cold concrete floor with greasy motorbike parts all around him. He had a toolbox to his right and a can of soda balancing on his knee. His hands were very dirty and his hair tangled. He looked like he was in paradise.

I smiled and commented, "It almost resembles an actual bike."

Jacob turned and grinned brightly, "I'm sorry it's taking so long."

I waved my hand and replied, "You're doing great. Two bikes and only one of you. Besides, I'm useless when it comes to this kind of stuff."  
He frowned, but didn't speak. I asked, "What's wrong, Jake?"

Jacob met my gaze and hesitantly asked, "Can I ask a question?"

I felt anxiety well up inside of my chest, but I nodded. He took a small breath and asked, "Why did you look so upset when I first saw you today?"

I looked away from him and my mind raced in a thousand direction. _Jacob. Sweet Jacob. Red eyes. Darkness. Shadows. Icy fingertips. Cold wind. Slapping at me, grabbing, scratching. Trees. Shadows. Edward. Red eyes. Too much. Too much. Too much._ I let out a shuddering breath as my eyes fell closed. I felt Jacob touch my knee before pulling away. He whispered, "Don't worry about it, Bells. I just thought you might want to talk. No big deal."

I shook my head, wiped my eyes, and sat up straighter. It was difficult, but I forced myself to stop thinking. I pictured it all like a waterfall, crashing waves of drowning thoughts that I shut off by quickly building a solid steel wall.

I spoke slowly, "I had a nightmare…"

When I built the courage to look up, Jacob had abandoned the bikes and was now sitting up, dark eyes on me, and giving me his complete attention. Like I was worth listening to. Like I was exactly what he needed to see and hear. I mumbled, "I have nightmares often. The one from last night…"

Jacob's eyes were endless and unreadable. His tone of voice was hushed as he asked, "Do you want to tell me about the nightmare?"

I shrugged and ran my fingers over the grease-stained pillows in a nervous gesture. He whispered, "You can if you want. Or you could tell me to mind my business. Either way, Bells."  
It was in that moment that I realized a war was beginning inside of me. One side wanted to cling to the suffocating memories of Edward while the other side desperately wanted to follow Jacob to safety. My voice wavered as I said, "The nightmares are…bad. In the dreams, I'm in the forest. It's dark and cold. I'm lost. I feel like I'm being watched. The monsters always get me."

Jacob's expression was enough to bring tears to my eyes. He didn't look at me with pity, but with empathy. With compassion and determination. He quietly said, "You have no idea how badly I wish he had never hurt you, Bella."

I gave a wobbly smile as I nodded. That was such a Jacob thing to say. He came forward and sat beside me on the sofa. He gently and hesitantly touched my hand. When he met no resistance, he wrapped his palm around my own. Instantly, my body tensed at the warm feeling of his large hand in mine. Jacob was soft and gentle as he insisted, "Listen to me. I will never hurt you. I won't leave you, Bells. I promise that I'll be here for you whenever you need me. It doesn't matter when; just come to me."

Jacob leaned closer to me and the tears began to fall as I begged, "Jacob, don't."

He sighed quietly and hugged me anyways. He said, "There's nothing wrong with leaning on somebody, Bella. Just let me be that somebody for you."

I nodded and turned my face into his shoulder to hide. It was well past midnight when Jacob walked me to my truck. It was pitch black and the rain had long since stopped. The night was still and quiet with only the soft sloshing of our feet as we shuffled through the watery ground. Jacob pulled my truck door open and I hopped in. He gave a soft smile and asked, "Will you be okay for the night?"

I shrugged a shoulder and asked, "Do you want to hang out tomorrow?"

He chuckled and abruptly reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. He lingered for a moment before dropping his hand and saying, "You can come over any time of the day or night, Bells. I told you that and I meant it."

I mumbled, "I'll head over when Charlie comes to pick Billy up to go fishing."

He nodded, "Okay. I'll see you in the morning."

I hardly slept that night. By the time I walked through the front door, it was just past one o'clock in the morning. Charlie was not happy. Of course, he had received a call from the school's secretary to inform him that I had left during lunchtime without written permission. He had immediately called the house phone, but when I didn't answer he panicked.

Charlie had called Billy after arriving at home and finding the house empty. I was unsure what Billy had told him, but Charlie had remained at home and didn't drive to La Push to retrieve me. I couldn't find it in myself to feel angry with Charlie. Only guilty. He was a wonderful father and I had worried him for no reason.

The lecture I received was short and sweet. Just as I was climbing the staircase to head to my bedroom, Charlie sighed and said, "Did you have a nice time with Jacob?"

I nodded and mumbled, "Yeah, Dad."

Charlie gazed at me for a long time before he said, "I just want to know where you are, Bella. I'm not mad at you."

I mumbled, "I know. I'm sorry, Dad."

Sleep didn't come easily that night. In fact, it didn't come at all. When I heard Charlie walking around downstairs right before dawn, I got out of bed and dressed sluggishly. I was light-headed, but I padded to the kitchen anyway. Charlie frowned and said, "Good morning, Bells. You're up early."

I nodded and reached for a mug. I filled it up with a generous amount of coffee. It burnt my tongue as I greedily swallowed the liquid, but I didn't care. I would either drink it or pass out from exhaustion. Charlie eyed me suspiciously before asking, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," I lied, "I slept okay."

Charlie washed his breakfast dishes and was checking over his fishing equipment when I said, "Hey, Dad. I'm going to ride with you over to La Push."

He glanced up and I was worried that he would react negatively, but he didn't. He nodded and said, "Sure, Bells."

I nearly smiled at the use of the old nickname rolling off of my father's tongue. I sat down and put my boots and jacket on before following Charlie out of the door. We loaded the cruiser up with his gear before taking off. Halfway to La Push Charlie said, "I got something for you yesterday."

I frowned and said, "Oh?"

Charlie nodded toward the console of the cruiser before continuing, "After you scared about a year off of my life, I thought you needed a better way to communicate."

I pulled a slick, silver cellphone from the console. I shook my head quickly and stuttered, "Uh, n-no way, Dad. This is too expensive."

Charlie sighed and gruffly replied, "Don't worry about money. I have plenty saved up, Bella. Besides, I got a good deal. One of those buy two, get one free."

I mumbled glumly, "Oh?"

He patted his shirt pocket and said, "I have one and I programmed my number into yours already. I don't have any use for the third, so I figured we could give it to Billy and Jake."

I thought of Billy and his disability. Of Jacob at school all day long and Billy by himself. I nodded and said, "Good idea, Dad."

When we arrived at the faded-red shack, Billy came rolling down his ramp. Charlie passed me the third cellphone and gave me a stern look. I nodded and turned to Billy as he wheeled in our direction. He passed by me with an amused smile. He said, "Jake is asleep. Good luck with waking him up. Have fun, Bella."

I watched as he and Charlie put Billy's fishing pole in the trunk of the cruiser. Charlie called out, "I'll see you this evening. Call me if you need to."

I waved and called out, "Bye, Dad!"

As soon as the cruiser was out of sight, I went into the house and right to the small kitchen. It was rather chilly. After turning knobs on the rusty, old heater for a while I realized the Blacks' needed a new one altogether. With a sigh, I set a pot of coffee to brew and went about making breakfast. As usual, there was bare minimum of edible food in the household. Still, I had a hot plate of scrambled eggs and homemade sausage ready when Jacob came stumbling down the narrowed hallway.

Surprised, I stopped in the middle of pouring coffee. I squeaked and nearly dropped the pot. I spun around with eyes closed. My face flushed hotly. There was a grunt and then Jacob swore, "Damn. Sorry, Bells! Didn't realize you were here."

There was some thumping and then he laughed. "Okay. I have a shirt on now."

Going to the counter, I picked up a cloth and wiped blindly at the surface. I said, "There's food for you."

"I see that. Thanks, Bells." He replied. I heard the squeal of a chair and the tinkling of cutlery. A moment later he asked, "You want some, too?"

"No, I already ate." I replied as I felt my face cooling. I rinsed out the empty coffee pot before sitting across from Jacob. His hair was hanging freely and tangled toward the ends. His eyes were heavily hooded and there was a red mark across his cheek as if he had his face pressed deeply into his pillow as he slept. Jacob was wearing black sweatpants and, thankfully, a white T-shirt.

He raised an eyebrow and teased, "Still embarrassed?"

My flush came roaring back. I glared and muttered, "Shut up."

"Or what?" He taunted, taking a mouthful of eggs.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my fingertips around the hot mug in front of me. I raised my brow and stated, "Or I will throw hot coffee on you."

"Ouch, Bells." Jacob chuckled, "You're ruthless."

I said, "You know it. Now, listen, I've got you something."

He frowned. "You didn't need to get me anything…"

I huffed, "Don't be difficult."

Jacob sighed dramatically and said, "Okay. Give me my present. It isn't even my birthday yet. You're going to spoil me, Bells."

I chuckled and took the third cellphone from my pocket. Hesitantly, I slid it across the table. He caught it with his palm and simply stared. I waited, biting my lip. Jacob's brow grew heavier. I said, "It was Charlie's idea. He got me one, too."

He cleared his throat and slid the cellphone back to me. He stiffly said, "Thanks, but I can't accept that. I'm sorry."

I bit my lip before slowly saying, "Look, I'm uncomfortable just as much as you are. These things are expensive, but Charlie did it. He insisted I have one and he thinks it will be best…"

"Best…?" Jacob echoed a moment later.

I sighed, "Best if Billy has a way to contact you when you two are a part."

Jacob replied, "Billy and I are okay as we are. I don't leave him alone on his bad days. The Clearwaters or Old Quil regularly check on him when I'm at school."

"I know and I swear Charlie doesn't mean any harm. He cares about you." I said and then added jokingly, "And seeing as how I'm always with you now, Charlie wants to be able to talk to you when he can't find me. I have a tendency not to tell him what I'm doing or where I'm going."

I slid the cellphone across the table once again. This time, very slowly, Jacob pocketed the thing. He gave a smirk and said, "I guess this means we can have a conversation without my dad listening in now. Nosy old coot always sits right there next to the TV and tries to tell me he isn't listening to us."

I replied, "See? There's a bright side to be had."

Jacob winked at me and said, "I've been telling you that."


	12. Chapter Eleven

Things with Jacob and I continued to get confusing. Every hug or smile or brush of hands either had me wanting to cry or scream. The following week, I gave myself some distance from La Push to think, which turned out to be the worst decision. During the days, I went to school and trudged through lessons. In the afternoons, I worked my short shift at Newton's and dealt with Mike's cheesy smiles and flirting. In the evenings, I cooked painstakingly difficult meals. At night, I alternated between doodling in notebooks, staring blankly at old favored books, or e-mailing Renee rather vague and made-up tales of what I was doing on the daily. Somewhere along the line, she had given up on having phone conversations with me. I didn't blame her.

I slept little, but when I did, I only woke gasping from nightmares. Vampires plagued me as only figments of my imagination. They were gone as if they had never existed and, somehow, that was a curse. Twice during the week, Jacob had text-messaged me. The first was a simple 'good morning' message on Monday and the second was on Wednesday afternoon, asking if I wanted to work on the bikes. It was half past two in the morning on Saturday when my cellphone screen lit up on the bedside table. Frowning, sleepless as usual, I picked it up and read: _Hey. U awake? R U Ok? Had a dream kinda like the one U told me about. Wanted to check in._

I read the message through twice more before sending one of my own. Afterwards, as I lay holding the phone and waiting for his reply, my eyelids grew heavy. I drifted into a dreamless sleep. When I woke several hours later, I rolled over and stared at the ceiling for a moment. An unread message from Jacob said: _Morning hasn't gotten much better. Arguing with Billy. He insists on a Council party for my birthday._

With a sigh, I pressed the CALL button.

"Hey, Jake." I questioned as I snuggled deeper under the blankets.

"Hey, Bells." Jacob greeted, "How are you?"

"Okay." I said, "Seems like you had a bad night and morning."

"Yeah." He sighed, "Billy. He frustrates me at times."

I replied, "How did his doctor appointment go yesterday? Everything is in okay condition?"

Jacob explained, "Doc said he was just fine. Except he has to exercise a little more. But the old goat doesn't ever listen when I offer to help him walk around."

I replied, "You have to be patient, Jake. He might come around to the idea."

"Maybe…" Jacob didn't sound like he believed me.

I asked, "What is a Council party?"

He muttered, "Just a reason for old men to be nosy and pushy."

I hesitated before asking, "So, should I not come over for your birthday?"

Jacob quickly replied, "I want you to come, Bells."

I joked lamely, "I'm definitely too pale to be considered a part of your tribe."

He snorted, but the sound was too bitter for Jacob. He replied hotly, "I invited some of my friends, but most everyone that's showing up is people my dad invited. We'll mostly stay away from them. Don't worry. Nobody will say a word to you."

I paused before saying, "Why? You don't like them."

He took this as a question instead of a statement. "Not really. They're bossy people. The Council, that is. Dad's on the Council. Since I'm his son, and one day I'll be on the Council, he makes me interact with people a lot."

I mulled this over for a moment before asking, "Is Sam Uley a part of the Council? And those other two guys?"

"What?" Jacob asked a tad too sharply. "No. No, they aren't. I think they're being groomed to take over, though."

There was another pause. He abruptly asked, "Why?"

"I was just wondering, Jake. Calm down. Jeez." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry." He sighed, "I'm just tired and annoyed. It isn't you."

I rolled over in bed and said, "Apology accepted, but you owe me warm soda."

"Deal." He replied readily. We fell into silence and I was startled when he questioned quietly, "Bells?"

"Uh," I yawned widely, "I'm here."

"Did I do something wrong?" His voice stressed under the question.

"No," I ran my free hand through my hair and sat up. "You didn't, Jake."

I heard him swallow heavily before saying, "Well, can I ask something then?"

"Yeah…" I hesitated, holding my breath.

"Mike Newton has been bothering me lately…" He began and paused. "You mentioned he keeps bugging you at work. He really seems to like you, and I was wondering…if you liked him."

I replied instantly with, "He's my friend. Sorta."

Jacob said, "That isn't what I mean, Bells."

"I don't like him like he wishes I would." I sighed with defeat and dropped my head onto the mattress. As an after-thought, I added, "You're my best friend, Jake."

"You're mine, too." His voice was soft like warm honey. As the second ticked by, I gazed out the window and watched the drizzling rain. Jake spoke up like he was reading my heart, my very mind.

"It's raining again." Jacob commented, "I love the rain."

"Yeah. It's okay." I replied.

"I like the smell of it." He chuckled and went on, "I guess that could make me weird. Rain helps me sleep. It's like a kid's lullaby to me."

"I never liked the rain, but I've gotten used to it since I moved to Forks." As I chattered about rain, and my old life in Arizona, I listened to Jacob's stories, his words, his voice. I laughed often. After a time, we lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"I'll see you in a couple hours, okay?" I offered, "We can have fun together. Forget the Council people, alright?"

Jacob replied, "Sure, sure. Later, Bells."  
I smiled, "Later, Jake."

That night, as I stood in the familiar driveway in front of the Blacks' house, I was regretting my decisions. I was abysmally failing at giving myself a mental pep-talk. There was no reason to be nervous. Being around a group was manageable for a couple of hours. I needed to learn to deal with groups anyway, because I couldn't maintain my hermit status after school was over. All the skittering nerves evaporated when Jacob stepped out of his front door, dipping his hands in his pockets, and cocking his hip to the side. His smile was brilliant and his dark eyes twinkled. He was bright even in the dark. I could practically feel his warmth as I jogged up the steps. "Hey, Jake."

Without a thought of Charlie lumbering across the driveway, Jacob pulled me by the elbows and hugged me tightly. After a ruffle of my hair, he stepped back.

"Ready to head out back?" He asked as one eyebrow popped up in an arch.

"Sure, sure." I gazed up at him, trying not to notice the odd expression Charlie had on his face as he walked by us and went inside the house. Jacob held his arm out and said, "I've got you, Bells, don't worry about all the people. They don't really matter."

"How'd you know I was worried?" I asked as I took his offered arm hesitantly.

He just smiled softly and replied, "I know you, Bells."

The simple words struck a nerve inside my stomach. I offered a small noise of distress. I saw him raise his eyebrow at me from the corner of my eyes, but I ignored the glance. Leaning on his side helped me a bit, but as we got closer to the back door, I heard all the noises. The laughing, chattering, and shouting got to me. I froze and bit my bottom lip.

I pulled to a stop. I met his questioning gaze and stammered, "H-Happy birthday, by the way."

Jacob gave a lopsided smile. He chuckled, "Thanks, but you're stalling."

I frowned and muttered, "Shut up."

His face scrunched up in concern as he replied, "Bells, honey, don't worry about them. I don't care about half the people out there. You're saving me from boredom."

I thought the words were oddly harsh, but I nodded. Jacob looked at me for a moment; his dark eyes were intense as he brushed a strand of loose hair out of my face. He smiled and said, "Don't worry so much. We'll stand off to the side, just me and you."

I took a deep breath and stepped outside with Jacob. The atmosphere was loud and happy. People chattered, people laughed, and people ate a lot of food. I immediately noticed the three men standing next to Billy and other older men I assumed were the Council. The boys- or more accurately- the men were dark skinned and dark haired with eyes that seemed angry and mean. I recognized them. A blush crept up my cheeks when one of them caught me staring. His smile was hostile and I could have sworn he snorted at me. _Paul._ The man next to him, seeing the other man looking so intently at me, stepped up and casually put a hand to the man's naked chest. _Sam._ I wondered why they didn't have shirts, but was pulled from the thought when Billy called for Jacob.

He had been speaking with a bouncing boy of about thirteen, who'd walked up while the staring contest was going on. Jacob sighed and motioned to Quil and Embry. "I'll catch you guys later."

With that, Jacob walked toward his dad and the trio of half-naked men. I hesitated, pulling away as if I would stand next to the food table with Quil, Embry, and the exuberant young boy whose name I didn't know. Jacob slowed to a halt and looked down at me.

"We'll only be over there for a minute or two, Bella." He brushed hair from my forehead again. I pressed my lips tightly together as I felt another blush upon my cheeks. I was suddenly grateful for the dark night. Jacob hesitated before quietly saying, "Come with me, please?"

"Alright." I whispered, glancing toward Billy. His eyes seemed to watch Jacob and me with a certain intensity that made my insides jump. I added softly, "I don't fit in here, Jake. I'm pretty sure Sam and his buddies don't like me."

Jacob reached out. My mind registered what he was doing a second before he grabbed my hand. He squeezed gently and whispered, "Does this help…?"

I looked down at my shoes and sighed before looking back up at his face. It struck me in that moment, as the pale moonlight and tinkling patio lights touched his cheeks, that Jacob was rather beautiful. Thick, calloused fingers intertwined with my own. I glanced at the contrast of our skin, which made me think of pale cream and rich caramel.

Billy called to his son again. I jumped, but Jacob's hand in mine was an anchor. We walked the short distance to Billy. I noticed multiple people's eyes on our intertwined fingers. Billy and all of the men were looking at us. The blush intensified on my face as I peeked up at Jacob. His face was perfectly angular with a strong jaw and stubborn chin that held an endearing dimple.

"Yeah, Dad?" Jake greeted his father. He sent a short nod to the four old, graying men beside Billy. I noticed immediately that they all had matching jackets on.

"I was wondering if you planned to keep Bella away from all the company, or if you'd share her time with your old dad." Billy joked and chuckled, but his expression was so tense. I frowned. _What was going on?_

"Sorry, Dad." Jake said shortly, "We've got something to do with Q and Em."

Instead of looking sad or taken back like I thought he would, Billy's gentle eyes narrowed. His tone was clipped. "Fine."

Jacob huffed hotly. He tugged softly on my hand and whispered, "Come on, Bells, let's go." Without a backward glance, I followed Jacob.

After a long walk we arrived at the beach. I made myself ask, "What was that, Jake?"

He sighed and ran his free hand through his long hair. He tucked a piece behind his ear and explained, "Dad has been bugging me a lot lately about a bunch of things. His buddies bug me, too."

"They do seem kind of…mean and odd." I replied. I was thinking of the intense glares from the muscular men. Flashes of Sam Uley's face and forceful words echoed in my mind.

"Yeah." Jacob squeezed my hand without even looking at me. I wondered if he knew we were still holding hands.

"Why don't you talk to Billy about it?" I asked.

Jake shook his head, laughing humorlessly. "Dad is very serious about tribal business, and so is everyone else."

He shrugged and added, "I disagree with most everything they have to tell me. I think it pisses them off because…well…I'm supposed to be some big hot shot like Dad once he is gone. He's the unofficial Chief."

Jacob gestured toward a washed-up tree. It was massive and nearly pure white from the constant wetness. I recognized it from the many times we had raced each other up and down the sandbar. Sitting down, I tried to push away the images of Billy and Jacob's stiff conversation minutes before. I whispered, "Why don't you agree with them?"

"Because what they have to say is ridiculous, Bella." He bent over, dropping my hand in the process. I watched him pick up a handful of pebbles and throw them with strength that made me gulp. Seeing the anger dwelling underneath the surface of his face made my stomach flip and flop horribly.

I said, "Try not to think of it. Hey, just let them do whatever they want…" When Jacob looked down at me with a twinkling amusement in his eyes I added, "I don't like seeing you so upset."

I needed to comfort him and all I could think of was to touch him. I knew Jacob would take my hand if I offered it. I sighed. I knew I wanted to take his hand and yet it would only encourage his advances. I was irrationally afraid that hand-holding meant catastrophe. I was afraid. Afraid that something horrible would happen. When I looked at his tall frame, catching a glimpse of the shadows playing along his face, I knew what I would do in the end. With another sigh, I unclenched my fists and wandered to the fallen tree. Jacob's eyes immediately softened and I felt my stomach do the same. I said, "You shouldn't disrespect Billy, but try letting him know how you feel about whatever is going on."

Jacob shook his head, picked up more pebbles, and threw them. With a huff, he sat on the nearby tree and replied, "He never listens."

I stood there with my hand slowly cooling from the loss of his warmth. The sudden breeze and cold that over took me was strange. I walked to him and sat down. For a while we were both silent, then a thought occurred to me. "Where are Embry and Quil?"

Jacob said, "I asked them to get lost for a while. Told them I'd meet them later."

I questioned, "Why…?"

He shrugged and muttered, "I'm in a mood."

I sighed. Trying feebly to distract him, I timidly inched my fingers across the smooth surface of the tree. With impulse, I wrapped my fingers around his. In the cool dark, I heard his intake of breath. Jacob glanced at me. I winced in embarrassment. After a moment, Jacob turned his head away and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back.

We elapsed into silence. I stared out at the night with my heart pounding. I was acutely aware of my fingertips molded to his and I wished I knew what was in his mind. Just as equally, I hoped not to ever find out.

The ocean was beautiful. The water was the deepest shade of steel blue with white foam bubbling upon the huge rocks. The waves crashed in a gentle way and the sand was a deep tan color, although it was almost colorless in the dark. Time passed rather quickly and I wished I knew how to explain my thoughts to Jacob. I knew he would listen if I spoke. He always listened, and he _always_ helped.

I turned to him, letting my body somewhat face him. I breathed in and let it out. Jacob faced me, smiled in the darkness, and asked, "Ready to go back?"

I stuttered, "N-No…"

He shrugged, "Okay. We can stay here as long as you want to, Bells."

I cleared my throat, "I want to tell you something, actually."

Jacob joked, "Tell away, Bells. Don't leave me in suspense."

I slowly replied, "I just want to say that whatever is going on with your dad will work itself out somehow. I'm sorry you're upset…and I'm here, you know, if you need to vent."

Jacob smiled and whispered, "Thanks, Bella. Means a lot."

I whispered back, "It's only fair. It's what a good friend should do."

"Yeah." He quietly said, "A good friend."

I pressed my lips together and went back to staring at the ocean. Eventually, I unfolded my cold legs and shook them out before standing up. My fingers slipped from his, but Jacob didn't try snatching my hand back. As we made our way off the beach, he walked very close to me. Twice, his shoulder brushed alongside my head like a butterfly's wing. Several times, his warm fingertips touched mine in soft swipes. It happened so often that I knew he was doing it on purpose.

Once we returned to the party, Billy watched us constantly. I noticed the Council watching us as well. Charlie wasn't with Billy and that caused some confusion with me, but the worry decreased when I saw him talking to Harry and his wife, Sue, by a small ring of chairs alongside a firepit. Charlie had a small smile on his face and was eating messy chili dogs.

When he caught me looking at him, I smiled and he returned the gesture in a slow motion. I knew he was probably wondering about Jacob and me. I knew he most likely saw us holding hands when we were by Billy earlier as well. Eventually I'd have to have a talk with him about Jacob. I dreaded that talk, even feared it a tiny bit.

I sighed loudly and automatically caught the attention of three curious boys. Embry said, "You should eat a chili dog. They're great. It'll take away the blues you got going on. Grab a soda, too."

I stepped forward and leaned against the chair Embry was slouching in and replied, "All I'll manage to do is get chili all over my shirt."

"I think that would look pretty cute." Quil gave a crooked grin and reached around me for a plastic cup sitting on a table. He poured grape soda in it and graciously handed it over with those flirtatious green eyes I had grown used to.

I asked dryly, "Does the flirting ever stop with you?"

Quil grinned and I couldn't believe my question had egged him on.

He replied, "Why, never, Bella, especially when the girls are as pretty as you."

I rolled my eyes and shot back, "I'm choosing to ignore you for the night, Quil."

He laughed, "Awe, you're hurting my poor heart, babe."

"Sorry." I chuckled nervously and went around the table and sat beside Jacob. I could easily detect the anger in his posture. The way his forearm bulged tightly with hidden muscles. The set of his spine was too taut. I busied myself with sipping the drink Quil had given me. Grape was my favorite and it surprised me that he remembered. I pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear and murmured, "Is the food that good?"

It took Jacob a moment. He finally whispered, "It's okay. Dad's chili is better."

I asked, "Who made it?"

He said, "Sue Clearwater."

I replied, "I'm sure she would enjoy hearing how much you adore her chili."

Jacob's lips turned up slightly. "I bet yours is better than both of theirs."

I said, "Maybe, maybe not. I could make my recipe for you."

He smiled fully. "I'll take you up on that. You better follow through."

I offered hopefully, "Next weekend?"

Jacob chuckled, "Absolutely."

I looked over to Quil, who was busy talking to an older girl. The girl was lovely with a cascade of thick, waterfall curls as black as night. She had a tall, vivacious build that I envied. Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, easily showing off curves. From what I could see of her face, she had almond-shaped eyes and perfectly arched eyebrows. Her face was scowling, so I couldn't attest to her smile, but her lips were full and shaped nicely.

I bumped Jacob's shoulder and gestured with a jerk of my chin. I said, "Looks like Quil is trying his luck with that girl. I don't blame him. She's stunning, but she looks like she might just punch him."

Jacob glanced that direction before turning back to me and the table. He took a slurp of his drink before saying, "That's Leah Clearwater. She's three or four years older than us. She's also really rude. She won't give Quil a chance. Pretty sure that's why the idiot likes her so much. I don't know what he sees in her."

"Poor Quil." I mumbled as Leah sneered at him and stalked off. She went toward the firepit, plopping down beside Harry and Charlie. Jacob snorted, "He's had worse. Trust me, Bells. He's immune to rejection."

I eyed Jacob before I whispered, "You're still upset…"

"Just this party." He murmured and took a big, messy bite of chili dog. He licked his lips, chewed, and swallowed before saying, "Sorry, Bells. Wanna just leave?"

I echoed, "Leave?"

Jacob nodded and suggested, "Let's go somewhere else."

I asked, "Where to?"

"The garage?" He looked at me, eyebrows raised. He took another bite while I thought it over. When he worked on his car, or anything that required building, his hands were like magic. He grunted a lot and occasionally mumbled swear words. His hair always ended up knotted and his hands dirty. He was most confident in his domain. I nodded and stood up. "Okay. I'll ask a thousand more questions."

Jacob laughed quietly and offered his hand. In the moonlight, I caught the glint of stars in his molten eyes. I could practically feel Embry and Quil's gaze on us as I took Jake's hand. I let him lead me around the table and toward the side of his house. Over his shoulder, he called, "Catch you guys later."

After we were well away from the chatter, the noise, and spicy smelling chili, Jake squeezed my hand. I hesitated, but squeezed back. I was surprised at myself because of how right and normal the reaction was. I asked, "You feeling any better?"

"Yeah. A lot." He ran his hand through his long jet-black hair and slowly began drawing the pad of his thumb over my wrist. When my pulse sped up, I knew he could feel it by the soft sigh that left his lips.

"Do you think anybody will come looking for us?" I asked curiously.

"Dad and the boys won't, but Charlie might." He replied easily.

"Alright. Let's go work on the bikes." I said.

Jacob smiled softly and said, "They'll be ready to ride soon."

For the rest of the night, we sat quietly together with nothing but the wind and the clanking of tools for music. If his hand brushed against my arm or shoulder more often, I closed my eyes and let it happen. The guilt I felt was a small price to pay for Jacob's company.


	13. Chapter Twelve

The following weekend was spent learning how to ride the bikes with Jacob. There was a secret area within La Push. It was covered with thick trees. A small path, easy enough for Jacob to push each bike down, sloped to an old logging road near the beach. The sector of beach was off limits to most people at La Push, but Jacob and the boys regularly went down there when they didn't want to be found.

Jacob had spent thirty minutes repeatedly showing me how to work the brakes and clutch. He had offered to drive first and I had watched him with nervous anticipation. He made two laps up and down the dirt path. I had bit my lip so much so that it was raw and aching.

The loud, snarling beast of a motorbike scared me so much the first time that I jumped and released the clutch too early. Jacob had laughed and happily instructed me once more. A few more tries had me inching forward. With a yelp of surprise, I tumbled sideways and would have fallen had Jacob not caught my body with both arms. At the same time, the edge of the bike landed heavily against his hip and leg. He never complained.

Jacob jogged alongside me as I made an embarrassingly slow pass up and down the path. He didn't seem winded despite occasionally hollering instructions while jogging. After a wide grin and thumbs up, Jacob went to collect his bike. That Friday evening ended pleasantly.

The next morning, misty grey and cold, we sneaked the bikes back into the bed of my truck. By the time they were covered up with plastic, Billy was rolling out onto the porch with coffee in hand. He gave a wave. I waved back nervously as Jacob smirked and laughed. A few hours more in the secret spot had me over-confident with the bike.

I took a sharp turn too fast and smacked my front tire along the edge of a hidden rock. When I slammed on the brake, I flipped right over the front of the bike and landed on the ground with a smack. The situation ended with me bleeding from my forehead, Jacob holding his shirt to my wound, and a hasty trip to the local ER. I called Charlie on the way there and made up a spectacular lie about falling over a hammer in Jacob's garage.

Jacob only laughed once the doctor assured I was going to be okay.

Monday morning, I groggily showered and dressed. The night before I had spent extra time mopping the floors at Newton's. I hadn't made it home until ten o'clock. I made it downstairs just minutes before I normally left for school. Charlie was sitting at the table with the newspaper and a cup of coffee in his hand as I walked in. I asked, "Why are you not at work yet? It's nearly an hour after your usual time."

"Going in late today." He muttered before setting his mug down and gesturing to the skillet sitting upon the stove top. As I walked toward the stove, he explained, "I made you pancakes and eggs."

Touched, I reached up on my tip toes to retrieve a plate. I said, "Thanks."

I put the fried eggs on the plate and scooped up a pancake that was only mildly burnt. I sat at the table and quietly ate while Charlie read the paper. I waited and watched, knowing the slightest change of routine was important when concerning Charlie. Just as I had finished eating, he sat up straighter and cleared his throat. He made a show of folding the newspaper. He stared at the tabletop as he said, "I want you to know you can tell me anything, kiddo. I mean it."

I blinked and said, "I know, Dad."

He glanced up with a faint blush coating the tips of his cheekbones. He rubbed his moustache before saying, "Jacob is a great kid. Friendly. Smart. Helpful. Hard working. Takes care of Billy and the house. The food. Doctor visits."

I swallowed heavily and glanced at the clock on the wall. I said, "Yeah. I know. Look, Dad, I have to get to school."

"Alright." He replied with a nod, "Just saying I approve of your choice, is all."

"We aren't…" I feebly spoke, but quickly shut my mouth when Charlie only gave me a look of complete disbelief. With a deep blush, I dumped my dishes in the sink, quickly drained a cup of juice, and bounded up the stairs to brush my teeth. As I came back down the stairs, I heard Charlie call, "Just remember that your old man isn't an idiot. I know what's what."

He came out of the kitchen and hovered at the front door as I slipped on my shoes. Charlie muttered, "I know how teens are and what they get up to. Even responsible ones like the both of you, so be safe, Bella."

"Okay!" I squeaked as I swung my backpack across my shoulders and darted out the house. I was relieved to find that my normal parking spot was empty. I parked and exited the truck. No sooner had I closed my truck door, I found Mike was calling my name. "Bella! Hey, Bella!"

I grimaced and turned his way. For weeks, he had left me alone and said nothing more than casual greetings. Even at work, he mostly gave me space and only offered the occasional flirty comment. I knew it was too good to last. Mike stood with his hair perfectly spiked. His face was attractively boyish and smiling. All I thought of was how much Jacob disliked him. How much I had grown to dislike him. I forced myself to smile and say, "Good morning."

"Good morning." Mike replied excitedly and awkwardly hugged me. I didn't bother returning the pat on the back. He didn't seem to notice my reluctance to hug him. Mike asked, "Can I walk you to class?"

"Oh. There's no need." I replied as evenly as I could. I felt guilty for trying to ignore him because he was one of my first friends when I moved to Forks, but he was so oddly obsessive and complete obtuse in any social situation. Mike slung his arm over my shoulders and smiled beamingly down at me. I wiggled about, trying to slip away from his hold. He replied, "Well, I'll walk with you. I'm glad you're feeling better. I noticed you're talking to Angela and Jess more often."

I slipped out from underneath his arm and began to walk. Other students joked, talked, and wandered about the parking lot. Mike weaved through them all and walked beside me while asking, "Are you not feeling well this morning?"

I murmured, "No, Mike, I think I have to go to the bathroom."

Once in the public restrooms, I locked myself inside a stall and took a moment to just breathe. Shortly after that, the bell rang for class to begin. I sighed heavily, looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and sighed again. I just wanted school to end so I could see Jacob, but I had to go through my classes first. First hour was Trig and I was always thankful for how difficult I found the subject to be. It meant hours of studying and complete concentration during class time.

Thankfully, though, I didn't have the class with Mike, Jessica or Tyler. Just Angela. She greeted me and we talked briefly. I managed to write down notes before my mind switched to ocean waves and the smell of pine. Second hour came and went. The only interesting thing to say was that Mike wasn't in the class. But Tyler was and he flirted with me the whole hour long. There was a time when nobody, including Tyler, would speak to me. My mistake had been casually and quietly carrying on conversations with Angela at lunch. It seemed Mike and Tyler decided to begin yammering at me after that. It could be reasonably argued that Mike had always yammered at me even when I was in my zombie-like state.

I debated in my head if I should mention Jacob casually, as Tyler drew yet another lewd picture on his notebook and showed me with a grin and a laugh. Tyler wouldn't come on as strong if he knew I was unavailable. I bit my lip and quietly listened to Tyler ramble on about the school's football team. He was nice and relatively harmless. I decided he was a better situation to deal with than Mike. I tried to ignore Tyler after the first twenty minutes of his nonstop talking and by the end of the class period, I was baffled. _Had he always been so flamboyant? If so, why hadn't I noticed?_

I walked to my third hour, greeting three or four people in my grade as they greeted me. I was glad my school day was halfway over. I stepped into my History class to find both Mike and Jessica sitting in the back row as they usually did. Mike excited called out, "Bella! Over here, girl."

Reluctantly, I walked over and slung my backpack to the floor. I seated myself at the table beside Mike. He asked cheerfully, "How's your day going?"

I could easily see Jessica's envious eyes staring daggers at Mike's back as he promptly ignored her. _Great. Good going, Bella._

I replied, "Uh, it is fine."

"Us too." He swatted Jessica on the arm and asked, "Right, Jess?"

"Yeah, right." If Mike caught the disgust in Jessica's voice, he didn't let it show. He continued firing questions at me about our latest assignment and today's cafeteria menu. I answered as honestly as possible and reminded myself not to be too rude.

Once the teacher begun droning on about the Spanish American War, Mike continued talking to me. He finally asked the dreaded question, "How's your friend? The one I acted rudely to a couple weeks ago. I'm sorry about that. I just get protective. I mean, he's pretty big and surly. You know how those Rez kids are."

I stared at him for a single stunned moment before I retorted, "No, Mike. I'm not too sure what you mean by that. Jacob is a great person and so are his friends. I've been at the Reservation a lot, hanging out with them all. None of them have acted anything but nice to me. I think you should reconsider your words next time you speak to me."

With that, I stood and gathered up my things. Jessica was smiling meanly at Mike as he sat frozen in surprise. The bell rang at that moment and I walked briskly away. I made it halfway down the hall before my anger wore off. Then I felt upset with myself as if maybe I had been too harsh with Mike. Sighing heavily, I headed to the cafeteria. I sat at the normal table Angela and the rest of the group sat at. Several weeks back, Angela had invited me to join them once more and I had, stupidly, accepted. It was because Angela was too nice. I couldn't refuse her.

I was very grateful when Angela and her boyfriend Ben sat directly in front of me. Angela quietly talked to me about her classes and a few colleges she was thinking of applying to. I listened with interest and felt a bit more comfortable. Until Jessica sat next to me. She picked at her salad and kept peeking glances at me as I sipped on a bottled lemonade. Mike and Tyler sauntered over a little while later. Mike sat a respectable two seats away. Tyler plopped down next to me, and next to him was Erik. Both boys chattered at Jessica and I for a few moments before Jessica finally piped up.

"Anybody up for going to the bowling alley tonight? It's glow night."

"Yes." Erik hissed happily, "I'm so in."

"I'm game. I've got a rep to maintain." Mike joked.

Erik rolled his eyes and tossed a wheat roll at Mike's head. "What rep?"

"Angie?" Jessica asked, glancing at the dark-haired girl. Angela replied, "Sure. I have to ask Mom and Dad, but I think they'll let me."

"What about you, Bella?" Mike cut in suddenly. He gave a grin and asked, "Ever bowled? Think you can beat the champion?"

"You suck and everybody knows it." Erik insisted with a snort.

I shook my head and said, "I don't think so. Sorry."

"Oh, come on, Bella." Mike cajoled, "It's glow night. All of these cool glow-in-the-dark lights are put up. There's paint slinging and games. The food-bar does an entire theme, too."

"Plus," Erik added, "it's bowling. That is fun just by itself."

I glanced at Angela and she said, "The food court has really nice milkshakes."

I sighed, "Okay. I'll go."

Jessica stabbed at her salad a little too forcefully as Mike replied, "Awesome. It'll be great. Meet us there around seven, unless you want me to pick you up?"

"No, no." I hastily replied, "I'll drive myself."

A few hours later, I called Jacob. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Bells. What's up?"

I nervously said, "I kinda need a favor."

Jacob replied, "Sure, sure. What is it?"

I hedged, "Are you busy tonight?"

"Nope." He replied quickly.

I asked, "Do you think Billy will care if you come to Forks?"

"Nah. He won't mind." Jacob answered.

I sighed, "How do you feel about bowling?"

"Bowling? Could be fun." He sounded slightly amused.

I replied, "Okay. I'm meeting with some friends and want you to come."

He said, "Let me get dressed and I'll drive over to your house."

"Okay. See you in a few." I replied in relief. I added, "Oh, wear clothes you don't mind getting paint on."

Jacob chuckled, "Paint? Sure, sure. See you soon."

I dressed in old denim jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and a cotton jacket. While sitting on the couch, I worried and hoped I wouldn't regret my decision. I left a note for Charlie and put his dinner in a covered dish on the kitchen countertop. After locking the house, I walked down the short driveway and hesitated. With a smile, I looked at the dark red vehicle I had become so familiar with over the last few months. I eased into the passenger seat of Jacob's car. Inhaling deeply, I took in pine, spices, and oil.

"Where are we headed?" He asked happily in way of greeting.

I gave him directions, which were rather simple considering how small the town was. I had my suspicions Jacob knew exactly where the recreation center was based on the slight smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Once parked, I hesitated with the car door halfway opened. Jacob raised an eyebrow and asked, "Something wrong?"

I sighed, "Mike is here."

Jacob simply raised an eyebrow. I added, "He asked me to come."

Jacob raised both eyebrows now. He waited patiently. I took a deep breath and blurted, "I tried ignoring him, but he's so persistent. I only agreed because my friend, Angela, was coming. She is dating Ben, though. They're very…coupley. It makes me feel awkward. I didn't want to be a third wheel with them, but I don't want Mike all over me, either. If Jessica manages to get her hooks into Mike tonight, that would be great, but I doubt it. I see Tyler's truck over there and she much prefers Tyler to Mike. That means Mike will be all over me."

Jacob quipped, "Sounds complicated."

I eyed him and tiredly sighed, "It is."

He looked at me for a moment before declaring, "Well, we just have to ignore Mike _and_ this Tyler guy. We'll just bowl. If they cause a problem, I'll deal with it."

"Maybe we should just…leave." I suggested worriedly.

"Nah." He replied before hopping out the car and rounding to the passenger side. He gestured and said, "Come on, Bells. We're going to bowl. I'm going to win. We'll have some greasy pizza and milkshakes. We'll talk to your buddy, Angela."

As I followed at his side, I realized Jacob had a way of making everything in life easier. He had a simple way about him that I admired. His calm, content way of dealing with life was straight-forward and without nonsense. I envied him of that.

Jacob's long legs were steps ahead of mine, so he held open the double-doors to the tall, metal building. It was painted an ugly shade of tan, but the inside was decently warm and inviting as soon as we stepped in. There was a tiny desk area with a harried older woman sitting behind it. I stepped forward timidly, but it was Jacob that greeted her and grinned brightly. I handed over a crumbled five-dollar bill for a donation box and scrawled my name on a clipboard. Jacob plucked a pen from my hand and did the same.

Once we stepped through another set of double-doors, a wealth of noise and scents assaulted my nose. There were laser lights on the metal beams of the ceiling. Each one periodically flashed a rainbow of colors down upon the honey-colored floor. There were three bowling lanes and all were filled to capacity. There were bright blue twinkly lights strung across the food court, which was nothing more than a long bar and one bistro table with a bright red umbrella.

To the immediate left of me was a small open-faced room with a hand-painted sign that read: _Bowling Shoes Here._ Jacob glanced down at me and gave a goofy grin. He asked, "Not scared to lose, are you, Bells?"

I snorted and said, "Pssht. You wish, Black."

He followed me into the small room where a pimply-faced boy a few years older than me spoke in a bored tone. After handing over awfully ugly shoes to both of us, Jacob and I sat on rickety chairs in the corner and put them on. With a grimace, I stood up and stared at my feet. Jacob laughed, "Come on, Bella. You look like you're about to cry over shoes. Didn't know you were so girlie."

I shot him a bland look and muttered, "I'm not, but these are just terrible."

Jacob glanced down at the mismatched shoes on his big feet and shrugged. "Well, there's nothing for it. I intend to win and I can't do that without these stupid shoes."

A smile was pulling at my lips even as we walked toward the ever-growing group of rowdy teenagers in the corner closest to the food court. As we drew near, I could tell the bowling booths were a faded red with plenty of breaks in the seams of the faux leather. It seemed Mike and Erik were competing, both standing at the edge of a lane and shouting ridiculous insults at each other. Jessica, Lauren, and a girl I barely knew sat in a booth giggling wildly at the two boys. My feet automatically slowed against my will. Jacob fell back to match my pace. It was Jessica who noticed me first. Her eyes slid right over me and lit up like a Christmas tree in December when she spotted Jacob.

"Hi!" She called out. "You must be Jake."

Jacob stepped forward and I reluctantly followed while I watched him smile so effortlessly. He said, "Jacob, actually."

There was the slightest hint of an awkward pause as Jessica frowned. She cut her eyes at me and I just knew she was remembering the few times I had mentioned him. Almost always, I had called him _Jake._ I quickly said, "Uh, everybody, this is Jacob. Jacob, this is Jessica, Lauren, and…"

"Ashley." The third girl with dark brown hair smiled prettily. She patted the booth and said, "You're welcome to sit here, if you'd like."

Before Jacob or I could speak, Mike was barreling forward with a laughing Erik on his heels. Mike offered bright blue eyes and a charming smile. He said, "Hey, Bella! Been here long? Want to have a go? We can start a new game."

"This loser sucks, so I'd take advantage if I were you." Erik said with relish as he tactlessly counted out a series of dollar bills. He stuffed them into his pocket and grinned at me. "Hey, B. How you doing? Who is this?"

Because he was much friendlier than Mike and hadn't ignored Jacob, I introduced Erik quickly and then asked, "Where's Angela and Ben?"

"Oh," Mike piped up, "They disappeared a while ago."

Erik wiggled his eyebrows and said, "Pretty sure they went back to Ben's car."

I blushed bright red. "Oh. Okay."

  
"Well," Jessica loudly declared as she stood up from the booth and walked our way. She was hanging onto Mike's arm as she pouted. She said, "I want to play another game. Please, Mikey?"

My eyes rounded and my lips twitched when I heard Jacob snort from beside me. He muttered, "Gross."

I reached out and grabbed his wrist before hurrying toward the food court. Jacob followed easily even as Mike asked, "Hey! Where ya going, Bella?"

"We're hungry." I called over my shoulder, "Meet you for the next game."

As soon as we were safely across the room and standing behind a roped-off section meant to be the waiting queue, I leaned against a concrete wall and breathed a sigh of relief. There were a few teens in front of us, so we waited patiently. Jacob stated, "That girl, Jessica, is a piece of work."

"Yeah," I sighed again, "She likes…attention."

"I can tell." Jacob replied with an eye roll. "Girls like her usually do."

I frowned and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't mean to be rude." Jacob explained with a shrug, "She reminds me of my sister, Rebecca. She has to stake her territory on a man like he's property. If she doesn't have the attention in a situation, she will throw a fit like a toddler. It's silly."

I stared at Jacob a moment too long before whispering, "I agree."

"And from the stories you've told me," He said, "it seems like Jessica is shallow. She doesn't really like Mike. She just wants him because-"

Jacob abruptly stopped speaking. I waved my hand and said, "I know. It's okay. I know what you were going to say."

Jacob eyed me oddly before saying, "Why bother being friends with people like Jessica and Mike?"

I shrugged and looked at my ugly shoes. "I'm not very good at making friends."

"Yes, you are." Jacob replied, "You have me. We're good friends."

I grimaced and cleared my throat before saying, "What do you want from the menu? I'm thinking mozzarella sticks."

"Sure, sure." Jacob replied after a beat of silence. "Whatever you want, Bells."

After ordering and waiting at the counter, Jacob and I carried our drinks to the booth beside my friends. We shared the mozzarella sticks even after Jacob told me he wasn't hungry. I hadn't taken _no_ for an answer. Just as we were slurping on the last of our milkshakes- his chocolate and mine vanilla- Mike and Jessica ended their game. Jacob grinned at me and eagerly asked, "Ready to lose?"

I smiled and muttered, "I'm going to embarrass the heck out of myself."

"Nah," He replied as he stood up, "You're going to be just fine, Bells."

And so, I found myself playing bowling ball with Jacob while people laughed and good-naturedly booed from behind us. Jacob went first- after a round of arguing and settling the argument over a quick game of Rock, Paper, Scissors- and he scored perfectly. My jaw dropped and I glared spectacularly. He simply laughed and gestured to the rows of colorful bowling balls. "Your turn, Bells."

My first try at holding a ball hadn't gone well. In fact, I dropped the ball immediately and jumped back to avoid smashing my toes. Jacob walked over to me, chuckling the entire time, to tap the edge of a much smaller ball. He said, "Try this one. It's lighter. Good. Now, put your fingers like this. There ya go, Bells."

I awkwardly shuffled forward with the ball held to my side. With a huff, I heaved the ball down the lane and watched it veer wildly off course. Loud laughter echoed. I rolled my eyes. My cheeks were slightly warm, but I did my best to ignore that fact. Jacob smiled brightly and said, "Let me show you how to better position your legs and shoulders."

The game went on with Jacob scoring often, but his advice and technique did help me aim the ball correctly. The problem was that I had no upper body strength to power the ball all the way down the lane to the pins. Midway through, I grew mostly immune the laughter from Jessica and Lauren. After yet another attempt in which my ball veered off course, Jacob stepped up behind me and placed his hands against mine. I froze. My breath was embarrassingly unsteady from exertion and Jacob's proximity.

"Here," He said, "Watch how my fingers grip at these points."

I blinked blankly. He was speaking, but I wasn't hearing his words. The tone of his voice was as familiar to me as my own. Jacob's timbre was like golden honey. Deep, warm, and slow. I could feel the warmth of his body, although he was not touching me anywhere other than my hands. He was much taller than me, yet he hunched down and somehow didn't make the move seem difficult. His hair, which was slowly unraveling from his low-slung ponytail, was falling over my shoulder. The dark strands were long and so silky soft against the skin of my collarbone. I was stunned and betrayed at my body's reaction.

"…And you want to remember to bend at the knees and turn at the waist." Jacob explained, "Otherwise, you're going to continue to throw too far right."

"Bells?" He questioned curiously after a pause. I blinked, startled, and nodded my head. I said, "Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

Jacob stepped back and I glanced over my shoulder even though I told myself not to. He was watching me with full lips pulled into a bright smile. His arms crossed over his wide chest. Jacob had broad shoulders, even broader than before, since he hit a growth spurt a month back. He was wearing a dark green, long-sleeved shirt that complimented his russet skin nicely. His incredibly long hair gave an exotic touch that none of the boys in Forks had. It was no wonder Jessica and Ashley had been eyeing Jacob all night.

I tried to remember the instructions he had given me, but I recalled very little. I bent at the knees and tossed the hefty ball. It clunked loudly and rolled heavily. I managed to knock over three pins and earn an enthusiastic hoot from Jacob. The game was over and he was the clear winner, yet he gave me a high-five and a grin as if I had won. We walked back toward the booth we had sat at earlier only to find a dark-haired girl with glasses and a tall, lanky boy with sandy-colored hair in our seats. I smiled happily and slid into the opposite side of the booth. Jacob followed my lead with a polite greeting.

"Jacob, this is Angela and Ben." I introduced and allowed both to greet him before saying, "I just lost terribly to Jake here."

Ben replied, "Yeah. We saw that. You tried hard, though."

Angela smiled and said, "You definitely improved, Bella. I would have given up. You'd make a great teacher, Jacob."

"Oh," Jacob said, "I don't know about that, but thanks. Bella is a quick study."

We talked for a few minutes, mainly about bowling and our latest English assignment. I had just agreed to read through both Angela and Ben's essays when a person on a loud-speaker announced the glow games were about to commence.

"What's this glow game?" Jacob asked a moment later.

Ben explained, "It's when they clear the bowling alley and set up teams. Each team gets a few buckets with paint-filled balloons. Whoever is the last one left standing, without being hit with paint splatter, wins the trophy for his or her team."

People were lining up and shouting and laughing out in the middle of the room. Jacob glanced at the couple across from us before asking, "Are either of you playing?"  
"No." Angela gave a smile and a shake of the head. "That isn't my kind of thing. Actually, I should probably be heading home. It was nice to meet you."

Jacob offered his hand to shake both hers and Ben's before saying, "Likewise, Angela. Drive safely. Bye, Ben. Good to meet you."

As soon as they were gone, Jacob turned to me. He said, "I like them."

I nodded and replied, "Me, too."

"They're kind." He added thoughtfully, "Those are the type of friends you should have, Bells."

I sighed wordlessly. Jacob gently elbowed me a moment later and asked, "Do you want to play?"

"Sure, sure." I muttered reluctantly when I saw the eager expression on his face. He jumped up, offering his palm to me. I hesitated, but placed my hand in his. We walked a few steps hand-in-hand before I slid away from his gentle grasp. Blushing, I looked ahead and tried not to notice Jacob's disappointed glance in my direction.

As we drew near to the group of milling people, I recognized Mike as the loudest voice of all. It seemed he was the chosen leader of one group and Tyler was the leader of the other. I groaned lowly, "Oh, no…"

"What?" Jacob whispered while leaning closer to me. I whispered out of the corner of my mouth, "Mike versus Tyler. It's worse than Mike versus Erik."

"Tyler?" Jacob questioned suspiciously, "The other one that is all over you?"

I crossed my arms over my waist and mumbled, "He isn't so bad. Sometimes."

Jacob kept looking at me with a deep frown. I bit my bottom lip and explained, "Remember when I was hospitalized late last year? It was because Tyler's van skidded on ice in the school parking lot. I was knocked out of the way and smashed my head on the ground. He's been obsessed with me ever since. He doesn't actually like me. Sometimes, Tyler forgets about me completely. Other times, he's like a bloodhound sniffing at a scent. He says he wants to make it up to me."

"Weird." Jacob said after a moment. He glared at the dark-skinned boy pointing and loudly declaring which individuals were on his team.

"Sort of." I mumbled in agreement. When Tyler came to my side and saw me, his face brightened. He said, "Hey, Bella. You're on my team. Glad I saw you before Mike. That asshat would have beaten me to the punch."

Tyler chattered on, walking and talking as he went. He pointed at a girl with a headful of dark blonde hair. She smiled happily. I blinked and blurted, "Tyler!"

He turned around and asked, "What's up?"

"He's on your team, too." I replied and jerked a thumb in Jacob's direction. Tyler frowned just slightly as he glanced at Jacob's tall, broad frame. He nodded in approval before saying, "Cool. Big guy like you might help us out. Try to tag Mike, will ya? I got twenty bucks riding on the outcome of this game."

"No problem." Jacob replied coolly with just a hint of a smirk.

A few minutes later, there was a clear divide in the large room. One half, Mike's team, stood near the booths where I had shared food with Jacob. The other half, Tyler's team, stood nearest to the room that housed all the bowling shoes. I was squeezed into a corner with multiple people all around me. One boy, who I knew as a friend of Tyler's from the basketball team, nearly rammed right into me. Jacob had caught me by the elbow and pulled me out of the way. Tyler and Mike walked dramatically into the center of the room and shook hands.

Several large, white buckets were strategically placed around the room. I watched as Mike strolled by. He winked and called out, "Don't worry, Bella. I won't let my guys tag you."

I blushed as multiple strangers glanced in my direction. Jessica was glaring. Tyler was laughing. The harsh overheard lights dimmed. A whistle blew from somewhere to my left. Loud, upbeat music suddenly poured from speakers and people began darting in every direction possible. Buckets were overturned and colorful balloons scattered across the floor. I stood still, my back to the wall, and watched with wide eyes. Jacob hovered next to me, laughing as boys tackled one another rather viciously right in front of us. When a blue balloon sailed our way, hitting the wall and splattering bright pink paint everywhere, I ducked. Jacob stepped in front of me, providing a solid wall that nobody seemed to want to hit with projectiles.

"He is such a chicken." Jacob rumbled happily. I stood on the tips of my toes, placed my hands on his biceps for balance, and peeked under his arm. Tyler was slinging balloons with relish at a retreating Mike. Both were covered in hot pink and lime green paint from head to toe. I muttered loudly, "This is insane."

"Doesn't seem fun to you, Bells?" Jacob asked in amusement.

"No way." I replied firmly, "Reading is fun. Walking the beach is fun."

"Cooking." Jacob said helpfully. I nodded and replied, "Yes. Cooking is fun. Getting hit in the face with paint and ruining my clothes is not fun."

Jacob laughed and pointed. "Look at what just got your buddy."

I peeked under his arm again and saw Jessica shrieking. She was walking quickly beside Lauren, who was covering her mouth and giggling madly. Jessica's brown hair was streaked with green paint. She was pawing pitifully at the mess as both girls walked toward the exit just to our right. They were close enough that we could hear their conversation. Jessica said, "I'm never going to get this out. It's already stiff."

Lauren said, "Shampoo and condition twice tonight."

"Duh." Jessica snapped, "Of course, I will."

Lauren huffed, "And go to the salon first thing in the morning. You need a touch up on those highlights, anyway."

Jessica moaned, "This is a disaster. I'm ignoring Mike for at least two weeks. I can't believe he thought this was funny. What an idiot."

Both girls collected their shoes fairly quickly. Lauren sneered, "He _is_ an idiot. Do you not see the way he follows Bella around like a puppy? At least, Tyler has a sense of pride. No guy should be caught dead trying to get in Bella Swan's pants."

I squeaked as Jacob's body stiffened. My cheeks went red and a wave of dizziness came over me. I scrambled backward, trying to get away from Jacob, who I had been clinging to without quite being aware of it. My fingertips dropped from his biceps. I ducked my head. My feet started walking. Jacob said nothing, but I felt that he was following closely behind me.

I collected my shoes and put them on without a word. Keeping my head down, I wandered outside of the building and was thankful the girls were long gone from the parking lot. As soon as we reached Jacob's car, he unlocked the doors with jiggling keys. Slowly, I climbed into the passenger seat and made a show of clicking my seatbelt in place. Jacob cranked the engine and sighed, "They're rude and ignorant, Bella."

I blinked and glanced at him. Jacob had leaned over in his seat until he met my eyes. Discreetly, I tried to put distance between us. My eyes dropped to my left hand, which was perched atop the console. Jacob's palm was gently resting over mine. The warmth that had been slowly leaving my cheeks came roaring back to life. Jacob said, "They're just mean girls. You'll be rid of them soon enough when you finish school."

"Yeah." I quietly said, "Maybe."

"What they said isn't true, Bells." Jacob whispered.

"Sure, sure." I mumbled as I blankly stared at our hands. Jacob rubbed his thumb across the tips of my fingers and hesitantly asked, "Is this okay…?"

I cleared my throat and said, "I…I don't…Yeah. It's fine, Jake."

He squeezed my hand and let go. Jacob reached over with one arm held out. He wiggled his fingers and said, "Come on, Bells. Hugs make everything better."

I smiled slightly and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. His grin was bright and wide. It made my chest ache. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as his wrapped securely around my waist. After a moment of smelling ocean and pine, there was a startling rap on the passenger side window. Yelping, I jerked out of Jacob's grasp and stared out the window at a blurry image of Mike. Jacob sighed heavily and began muttering as I rolled down the window. I asked, "Uh, what is it, Mike?"

He was covered in splattered paint, but his round face and bright blue eyes were very noticeable. He asked sadly, "Are you leaving, Bella?"

"Yeah, Mike. See you at school." I replied evenly and began fumbling with the manual crank on the window. Mike put his hand on the window and said, "Wait."

I looked up in exasperation and said, "What is it?"

"Well," Mike cleared his throat, "I was wondering if…"

My jaw dropped and I realized, in dawning horror, that he was about to ask me out on a date right in front of Jacob. I quickly said, "I really need to go, Mike. Bye."

"But I-" Mike's words were cut off when Jacob abruptly barked, "Jesus. You can't take a hint to save your life, can you? She doesn't like you. She doesn't want you. Get your damn hand off my car and leave Bella alone, you absolute jackass."

My head swung around and I stared at Jacob with the same wide-eyed-dropped-jaw look I had just given Mike. While the poor boy was still blustering, Jacob quickly reversed the car and pulled out of the parking lot. There was nothing but the wet sound of tires on pavement as he drove. I chewed nervously on my bottom lip and mumbled, "That was a little over the top, don't you think, Jake?"

"No." He said before abruptly taking a right turn onto the street I had become most accustomed to since I moved to Washington. At the very end was a modest two-story house with a picturesque window and tree combo. The yard was small, but well maintained. The porch was a bit old and worn, but loved. A police cruiser was parked on the left side of the house, nearest the front door. I had begun to think of it as home.

Jacob slammed the parking brake into place and let his car idle in the driveway. I watched as he worked his jaw. It was as if he were chewing on iron nails. I slowly asked, "Are you okay? Did he really upset you this much?"

When Jacob didn't answer me, only pointedly stared out the window, I reached out and softly touched his forearm. He jumped as if I had slapped him, so I jerked my hand away. With reddened cheeks, I pressed myself against the passenger side door and said, "Mike is too determined for his own good. Just ignore him, Jake. We had a good time, so don't let him ruin it."

"Yeah." He said vaguely. "Yeah. We did, didn't we?"

  
"Yes." I cautiously replied, "It would have been a miserable night without you."

There was a long pause before I said, "Um, do you want to come inside for a drink or something? I'm sure Charlie has a baseball game on TV."

"Nah." Jacob replied as he continued to stare out the window. He mumbled, "I'm not feeling so well. Must have been a bad milkshake. My stomach is hurting."

"Oh," I replied with feeling. "Oh, Jake. Go home and rest."

I climbed out of the car and leaned in through the window. Dark brown eyes met mine. I gave a feeble smile and said, "Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, sure." Jacob replied with a smile, but he looked all wrong. His eyes were darker than usual. The corners of his mouth were pulled too tight as if he were forcing a smile onto his lips. I stepped back from the car and called out, "Bye, Jake!"

"Bye, Bells. See you later." Jacob said with a wave out of the driver's side window. I stood in the dark and watched until the old car was gone. The imprint of red tail-lights were still flashing behind my eyes sometime later when a cold drizzle began to fall. With a frown, I slowly trudged up the steps and unlocked the front door.

As I brushed my teeth and readied myself for bed, I couldn't stop picturing the look on Jacob's face as he had driven me home. I read a classic novel for a while before turning off my lamp and trying to sleep. I tossed and turned for hours before falling into a restless slumber. The next morning, after I cooked Charlie breakfast, I called Jacob. He didn't answer. At lunchtime, after I had escaped to the library for peace and quiet, I turned on my cellphone. There was one message from Jacob that read: _Slept most of the day. Feeling much better now. Come see me soon?_

After school, I drove home to grab a few leftovers from our refrigerator. They would go to waste if they sat untouched much longer. I figured the Blacks' would enjoy the lasagna and half a strawberry cake we had eaten the night before. My cellphone ringing moments later had me pausing. I set the dishes on the counter and fished the small phone out of my pocket. I put it to my ear and said, "Hello?"

"Bella." It was Billy talking in a somber tone.

My heart skipped a beat. I asked, "What's wrong? My dad?"

"What?" Billy asked before clearing his throat, "No, Bella. I'm calling to tell you Jacob's ill. He's sick to his stomach right now, so don't come over today."

"Oh," I replied while I chewed my lip. "I could bring soup and medicine."

"No, no." He replied, "Stay home. Sue is on her way over."

"He must have caught that bug I had a while back." I sighed.

"I have to go, Bella." Billy replied quietly. "He will call when he can."

With a frown, I slipped the phone back into my pocket. I sat at the kitchen table and began my newest assignments. At half past four, I reheated the lasagna and prepared a side salad. That night, after washing dishes, I checked my cellphone. There were no missed calls or texts.

As the days progressed, my cellphone was all but glued to my hand. It was on the morning of day three of silence that I sent Jacob the first text message asking how he was doing. By lunchtime, I had called him only to receive his voicemail. I hung up quickly. There was a growing suspicion in the back of my mind. _Three days was enough time for a stomach bug to run its course, wasn't it? A stomach bug didn't keep someone from answering a phone call, right?_

On the fourth morning, I called once more only to receive voicemail. I arrived early to school and spent several minutes typing out a text message. My thumb hovered uncertainly over the SEND button before I finally pressed it. The message read: _Are you angry over what happened at the bowling alley? I'm sorry. We can talk about it._

By noon, there was still no response. I snuck off to the restrooms and typed out another message: _Jake, talk to me. Are you okay?_

I was so distracted at home that night that I burned the pasta and was forced to open windows. Charlie came home to a disgusting odor and freshly ordered pizza. My mind was whirling with thoughts that crashed against one another with jarring force. I had ruined everything, I decided. Jacob had been nothing but supportive of me and I couldn't even hold his hand without cringing. He hadn't tried to kiss me. Hadn't tried to make any serious moves. He wasn't uncomfortably forceful like Mike or crass like Tyler. What teenage boy wouldn't get annoyed with a girl like me?

As I sat in the bathtub later on, I called Jacob. It rang for a long moment before voicemail kicked in. I heard the loud beep and took a deep breath. My voice was scratchy to my own ears as I whispered, "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Maybe I should have been firmer with Mike. Just…call me, please, Jacob?"

By Friday evening, I felt as if I was a floating piece of paper in a windstorm. Charlie had begun to notice my random moments of zombie-like staring. He had asked me if I was alright at least ten times in one week. When he told me, he would be working a late shift, I nodded and packed him a plate to go for dinner. I turned my cellphone off in a fit of anger and shoved it in my sock drawer. I tried reading a book in my bedroom, but the words only blurred. I paced the house. I walked the yard, tripping over my feet in the dark before returning to my bedroom to stare out the window. I told myself I would not drive to La Push.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

A few days later, while Charlie was at work, I sat on the living room couch with my textbooks lying uselessly beside me. The TV was on an old baseball game. I blankly watched the pitcher throwing a ball. The lights were all off because my head constantly ached from the silent tears that I had been shedding. My cellphone was across the living room where I had thrown it an hour before. Jacob had not answered any of my calls.

I plucked at a hole in my torn-up sweatpants. My long-sleeved simple red cotton shirt was a gift from Renee. When a rather loud commercial came on, I glanced down at my shirt and froze. _Red._ Jacob liked red. And that was all it took for the tears to begin anew. The color led me to think of ruby eyes and Victoria's flaming hair. I wondered what had happened to her after she lost James. I wondered if she would return to Forks. I wondered if the Cullen family had chased her off for good.

For the briefest moment, and not for the first time I imagined how she, or any vampire, would kill me. As forbidden and as shameful as the thought was, I couldn't help but wonder if I was meant die at James's hand so long ago. Maybe that was why pieces of me were constantly being ripped away. It was karma. It was fate punishing me for escaping its clutches. _No more Jake and Bells. Too much. Too much. Too much._

The realization had gradually started sinking in, but it still hurt just as sharply as it had the first time. I cried myself to sleep on the couch and woke to the dim gray light of a Saturday morning. With a groan, I sat up and stretched. As far as I was aware, I hadn't screamed or cried out in my sleep. I woke up multiple times, muttering to myself. And I dreamt of Jacob. Big, gentle hands. Booming laughter. Wide, infectious smile. Long, thick hair the color of a rich black ink. Russet skin and calloused fingers wrapped around my own. I needed to know what was going on.

Shaking my head, I stood up and was attacked with vertigo. With a sigh, I plopped down on the groaning couch. I could hear Charlie puttering around in the kitchen, so I followed the noise. Charlie was sitting at the small table, paper in one hand and mug of coffee in the other. If I hadn't been so filled with fatigue, I would have tried smiling at him to cheer him up.

I ate a bagel beside him in silence, knowing if he saw me eating, he might feel better and go on the fishing trip I knew he had secretly canceled. I needed him gone today for my plan to work. Charlie mumbled, "Would you be okay if I went fishing?"

I nearly chuckled. Instead, I nodded and quickly walked out the room. My muscles were sore, so I grabbed a change of clothes and took a hot shower. When I finally heard the front door slam shut, I turned the water off and went to my bedroom.

As if I was in another person's body, I pulled a hoodie and jeans on and stumbled down the stairs. My heart was beating unevenly. I hoped I could make it to La Push without losing my nerve. Hastily, I shoved my feet in my battered sneakers and yanked my keys off the peg before slamming the front door shut. With a sinking feeling in my gut, I climbed in my truck and slowly made my down the roads I knew by heart.

When I pulled into the Blacks' driveway, I nearly pulled right back out. I muttered to myself, "No, I _need_ to talk to him…" Throwing my head against my seat, I sighed and mumbled, "You've got to talk to him."

Silence seemed close in around me, yet I couldn't bring myself to look at the Blacks' house. If he was in there, Jacob knew I was here. My truck was too loud for him _not_ to know I was here. Briefly I thought how crappy of a break up this was, but the confusion in my mind and pain in my chest were warring with each other. We were never dating, never together as a couple, but my heart told me otherwise. In the same breath, I was angry at myself for hurting over losing him.

With that depressing thought, I killed my engine and unbuckled my seat belt. Rain was drizzling down as I slid out the cab and quietly shut the door. I braced myself against my truck for a minute before taking a deep breath. With each step I took toward the front porch, my feet seemed to grow heavier and heavier. By the time I reached the front door I thought I would have a panic attack. My breath rattled unevenly in my lungs. Just as I pulled my hand up to knock, a flicker of movement caught my eye. I whirled around and gaped. _Not_ _possible, Bella._

Jacob was swiftly moving across his back yard, yet I couldn't be sure if it was him. I stumbled down the stairs and called out, "Jacob!"

I saw him hesitate before taking another step forward. He wasn't wearing a shirt despite the freezing weather. His shoulders were broader than ever before and his arms were huge. He looked like he had been on an intense physical work-out schedule and reaping all the benefits of such. It made no sense. I called out, "Wait! Please!"

I jogged to him. My breath was puffing out in rugged gasps by the time I stumbled to a halt on the edge of the hill we always had to climb to get to his garage. Jacob's naked back was to me. My eyes roamed wildly over the sheer amount of skin on display. He was thicker and wider and muscular than ever before. I gasped again. The muscles quivering on his bare skin were unbelievably defined. My heart was galloping against my ribs. Against my better judgment, I wanted to touch him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and ask for forgiveness. I wanted to talk everything out until we were okay again.

Jacob was wearing nothing but a pair of torn up jeans, and I could see the waist band of his boxer briefs. With a gulp I stated, "You cut your hair all off. I thought you were sick, Jake."

I could have sworn I heard him sigh, but he did not turn to me. I pressed on hastily, "I thought you were too sick to get out of your bed or answer the phone. Jake..." Hysteria was bubbling in my stomach, "If you're breaking up with me…"

I paused and whispered, "If you wanted to leave me, why didn't you let me know?"

Silence lasted for minutes and time seemed to slow. His bare back was flawlessly smooth. Flashes of all the times he hugged me hit me in the center of the chest. The rain picked up slightly and I felt myself shiver as I held my stomach with both arms.

"Jacob…?" I questioned unevenly. I sighed, tears threatening to spill over the brim of my eyelids. I roughly said, "You were lying to me. You weren't ever sick. You just wanted me gone."

"No." His deep voice calmed me somehow, but not enough that I let go of my stomach. Jacob sounded tortured and that caused my stomach to lurch sickeningly. The shivering along his spine continued. Jacob spoke without turning to me, "I was sick, Bella. I still am. And you shouldn't be near me. It's too dangerous. I'd like for you to go home."

The cold tone. The different body. The aloof personality had me in shock and grief. This was a stranger. This wasn't the Jacob I knew. He didn't sound or look like Jacob at all. _Too much. Too much. Too much._

When I sucked in oxygen and let it out again, I felt the anger hit me. The desperation hitting me. I demanded, "This isn't like you, Jake. This isn't _my Jacob._ What in the heck happened? Is it because of what happened with Mike?"

He snorted bitterly, "That dumb ass doesn't bother me."

I gaped before retorting, "Then, what is this? Who did this? Did you argue with Billy again? Was it…Is this about Sam and the Council?"

My voice was close to snarling as I demanded, "Jake? Answer me."

He sighed loudly this time, yet still didn't turn to me. Jacob's deep voice was hard like granite when he explained, "No, Sam and the guys aren't what I thought. They're great. They're like my…brothers."

"Your _brothers?"_ I asked hysterically, "Jacob, you barely know them. Why would you suddenly want them and not me?"

I babbled on, shoveling my hands through my soaking wet hair. "You haven't spoken to me in over a week. Jake…I-I've waited for your call. You…you…w-what did I do?" I broke off on a sob. My hands held my stomach even tighter to try to halt my uneven breaths. "What did I do wrong?"

" _Nothing,_ Bella." Jake spat angrily. I watched him lift his muscular arms and fold them across his front. I boldly spoke my mind. "I wish you would look at me."

His next words caused me to break.

"No." He replied lowly, "I'm _dangerous._ You aren't safe with me anymore and I can't have you hurt. I'm sorry things turned out this way and it _kills_ me to say this, but I think it's best if we stopped seeing each other altogether."

The tears no longer held. They gushed out and mixed with the freezing rain. My lips trembled. My breath came in short shudders as my body shivered. Claws tore at my wounded heart and ripped at my gut. Dragging air through my lungs, I turned on my heels. _He doesn't want you, Bella._

I barely managed a single step before slipping in thick mud. My knees hit the ground and I grunted loudly before scampering to my feet. My shoulders heaved in time with my gasps as I moved forward on shaky legs. _Move, move, move, Bella._

The rain was falling so heavily that I couldn't see my hand in front of my eyes. Blinking rapidly, I wiped at my tears. My feeble attempts were useless, but I slid and stumbled my way across the Blacks' backyard. As I rounded the side of the house, I took a moment to pause before dashing for my truck. The keys slipped out of my numb fingers twice before I managed to unlock the door. My knee bashed on the corner of the truck as I fumbled about.

Once inside the cab, I slammed the door and let out a breathless sob. I was drenched in icy water. My fingers were shaky and pale. The keys slipped before dropping to the floorboard as I tried starting the truck. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and glanced up. My face was puffy and the rain was thick, but the tall and dark shadow looming across the yard held my stare for a long moment.

"It's your own fault, Bella." I mumbled, "Stupid. You're so stupid."

I bent down, fingers fumbling for the keys near the pedals. I let out a raspy cry when the truck door was wrenched open. I saw a blur of russet and black before I felt Jacob's warm arms pulling me out of the truck. Icy rain pelted me on the head and back, but all I felt was a hard, bare chest. The world twisted around me. Nothing was clear except Jacob's scent and warmth. Looking up at the grey sky, I watched lightning strike and thunder roll.

It took me a moment to realize Jacob was carrying me as if I was an infant. Within seconds, we were in the house. Jacob was murmuring. I could hear his voice and feel the deep bass vibrate through his chest. I was gently deposited onto a surface. My shoes were yanked off followed by my soggy socks. Suddenly a warm palm was combing through my soaked hair. "Look at me, Bells. Open your eyes, honey."

And then I did. Jacob froze for a moment. His lips were lax as he exhaled in one big gust. He stared. Just stared at me with such intensity.

"Jake…?" I sniffled and croaked, "Jacob? What happened?"

"Shh…" He whispered, "It's okay. I have you, Bells…"

He continued petting my hair as he said, "I'll get you in some warm clothes and covered up. I'll call Charlie to tell him you're here. Just rest."

_Charlie? Charlie!_ I struggled against the hold on me and tried fighting his strong hands. They were stronger than I remembered and I idly wondered if I had finally gone insane. How had he moved so quickly from the back of the yard to my truck? How had he gotten us into the house in the blink of an eye? Jacob's hands left my arm and head suddenly. I blinked blurry eyes and sat up, realizing I was on the Blacks' sofa. I whispered, "No, don't leave. Please."

He loomed overhead for a moment before whispering, "I won't. I promise you."

I felt his warmth even though he was out of reach. It was as if he were throwing off waves of heat. We stared at one another for so long that my eyes gradually became heavy. I was vaguely aware of his woodsy scent engulfing me. There was a sensation of being lifted, of movement. Then, I felt warm softness pressing into me. Wanting to sigh in relief, I let unconsciousness take over me.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

When I woke it was with horrendous clarity as if my head had just broken the surface of icy water. Sitting up quickly, I looked out the huge window beside Jacob's bed. The painful memories hit me and it was almost unbearable. Then I recalled the distorted words I had thought he had said. _I won't. I promise you._

Taking a deep breath, I threw the big quilt off of me and forced myself to stand up. My legs were too loose for my liking, so I locked my knees and hobbled to the door.

I spent a full minute putting my clothes in order before switching the light on. The brightness burned my eyes, but I just blinked until my vision fully cleared. Taking a fortifying breath, I threw the bedroom door open only to be met by a man who both creeped me out and irked me. The arrogant, smirking man who was one part of the trio that saved me in the forest. Paul.

He was standing there with his thick arms crossed over his chest. Too much of his skin was on display as he was shirtless. Paul was unbelievably tall, wide, muscled and utterly arrogant. Ridiculously hostile with his irritating smirk. I gritted my teeth and demanded, "Move."

He just scoffed at me and cocked his eyebrow up like Jacob usually did. Hot flames of anger began to smolder inside of me. Paul did not move. I snapped, "What's your deal, you creep? Move out of my way."

Paul shook his head. My palm itched to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. I asked hotly, "Why not?"

He shrugged and simply said, "Boss told me to make you stay right here."

I retorted, "Okay, Crazypants. I'm done playing this game. I don't care what your _boss_ wants, _move out of my way._ "

Just as I was at a loss of what to do, a hulking form walked down the narrowed hallway. My breath caught in my throat as I looked on. Jacob was so different. His eyes. As I searched frantically for anything familiar, it was his dark gaze that I held onto. Those orbs were the same rich, mocha-expresso shade I was so used to. Tears sprung to my own eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would form. Paul snorted as if entertained, so my eyes snapped to him. I mumbled, "Move."

"Move, Paul." Jacob's grumbled harshly. I jumped as the echoes of such a command as it bounced around the little house. Jacob's voice was different somehow, deeper and angrier than before. Raspy, too. I recalled the last time I'd seen him. His voice had sounded just like it did now. It was the night Jacob had been the boldest he had ever been with his gentle hands in the cab of his car. And I had politely rejected him just as Mike came to interrupt us. Guilt threatened to overwhelm my fear and pain.

Paul moved slowly at first. Then, he abruptly shoved passed Jacob. I watched Jacob's eyes flash in anger. Just as quickly as they flashed, however, they simmered. I took a step toward him, _needing_ to be closer as if under compulsion. He made no movements, only stayed standing still. It seemed he was giving me time to take in the physical shock. My Jacob always had muscles, but _this_ Jacob had definition that defied logic. I dragged my eyes over his entire body. For half a second, my eyes lingered on his bare torso. I felt the blush creep up to my cheeks.

I brought myself to his face next. It was the same. Deeply tanned skin with that stubborn, hard-cut jaw. Dimple on his chin. Full lips. Darkly arched eyebrows. When I mustered up the courage to look at his hair, my heart skipped a beat and then fell into the bottom of my stomach. It was still the prettiest shade of inky black. Still shiny and silky, but Jacob's long, gorgeous hair was _gone. Gone._

Frowning, I took a couple steps forward, hoping he wouldn't back away from me. Timidly as I could be, I reached up and touched the edge of his hair. Jacob sighed ruggedly. His eyes fall closed. Slowly, I ran my fingers through his hair. Silky. Smooth. And short.

I whispered, "Why'd you cut it off, Jake?"

He mumbled, "I needed to, but I didn't want to."

I insisted, "Why did you have to?"

"It's…complicated." Jacob sighed.

"Explain it all anyway." I huffed.

Jacob shook his head, opened his eyes, and gazed at me. I felt lightheaded as if I was swaying. Blinking, I looked at my feet just to break myself from his intense gaze. It took an awkward moment for me to realize my fingertips were still combing through the short strands at the nape of his neck. I eased my hand out of his hair and took a tiny step back. I whispered, "Jake, I just want to know-"

He abruptly snapped, "I'm thinking. I don't know where the hell to start."

I glanced at him in surprise and quietly said, "No need to bite my head off."

"I'm sorry." He sighed as he stepped backward and leaned against the wall with a hard-smacking sound. "That's what I need to start with: I'm sorry, Bells."

There was a pause before Jacob whispered, "I never meant to hurt you. I had to stay away from you, Bella. It was dangerous in the beginning and still is. I would have come to you, tried to explain, if I could have. I had no choice until now. I hope you believe me."

Biting my lower lip, I mirrored his movements and leaned my back against the wall opposite him. I took time to simply stare at his giant frame. He had always been tall as far back as I could remember, which admittedly, I had not spent much time around him except for the last few months. I vaguely remembered an impression of surprise upon knowing his age when I met him on the beach when I first moved back to Forks. He had been tall for fifteen. He had grown several inches in the months that I had been spending with him. A growth spurt that I attributed to him turning sixteen.

Still, Jacob had been healthy and fit since I had known him. Quite suddenly, he was hard-wired with thick, bulging muscle. It shouldn't be possible to bulk up that much in only a few weeks. I swallowed and glanced around before nervously saying, "A-Are you…um, did you…Jake, did you take drugs?"

He glanced at me and let out a barking cough. "No. I wish."

"What?" I muttered while running a hand through my damp hair. I winced as I pulled on a knot and demanded, "What's going on? What did Sam and his little gang do to you, Jacob?"

"Nothing." He sighed again. "They've done nothing except help me."

"Help you with what?" I pressed, "It seems as if they've got you on steroids."

"Yeah." Jacob snorted, "I can see why you might think that."

"Alright. Not steroids." I replied snappishly. "Are you going to explain or do I have to keep playing guessing games? Are you going to give me riddles until Paul the Jerk comes back to try to scare me even more?"

"I don't know what to say to you, Bella." He suddenly lunged forward. His words were deep and raspy, almost inhumane in pitch. Leaning heavily against the wall, I swallowed and watched in fascination as his bare chest heaved as if he had run for miles. Jacob said, "I don't have the time to say all I want to say. Hell, I can't say all I want to say even if I had the time. I'm busy, Bella, and I was pretty much resigning myself to never seeing you again. You showing up here has changed things. I have less than two minutes before Sam busts through that door and orders me to take you home. This isn't the time for a goddamn confessional."

As the silence rang out, louder than Jacob's angry speech, I stood still in shock. Never before had he spoken to me in such a way. Never before had I seen such a feral look in his dark eyes and an ugly sneer on his face. He was almost unrecognizable. Almost, but the pitch of his voice was as familiar to me as my own. The russet-caramel skin and big palms were the same. Mocha eyes, despite their anger, were the same.

I croaked, "I'll leave if you want me to. Just promise you'll come to me when you have time to talk. Promise me that I'll see you again, Jake."

The trembling tension in his big body seemed to melt quite quickly until he was slumped against the wall once more. Jacob sighed, rubbing at his temples. He mumbled, "Oh, Bells. I don't want it to be like this."

The sound of his voice was like warm, thick chocolate hardening in the cold. It was a hopeless, heartbreaking thing. I took a deep breath, stepped forward, and put my palms on his exposed shoulders. There was a moment of electric charge through my fingertips. Tightening my grip, I tugged until he looked up. I made sure we had eye contact before whispering, "Nothing is hopeless. You taught me that. I'm going to help you, Jake, no matter what."

He searched my face with his dark gaze for a long time. Jacob murmured, "Do you promise? Do you promise me you won't run no matter what?"

"Yes." I whispered back. I squeezed his shoulders, let my hands drop, and stepped back. I said, "I'm going to go now. Will you be safe with…whatever?"

Jacob's lips twitched as if he would smile, but no such thing occurred. There was a pause before he replied, "Yes. I promise."

"Good. I promise, too." I said. I slowly made my way down the narrowed hall and toward the front door. With my hand on the knob, I turned around. Jacob was within arm's reach, standing there with nothing on but a pair of cut off denim shorts. His feet were bare and mud was crusted on his heels. I was confused. And worried.

I cleared my throat and hesitantly asked, "When do you think you can come by my house to talk?"

"Not tonight." He replied lowly.

I whispered, "Okay. Tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Sure, sure. I can't give you a time, though. Could be very late."

I quickly said, "I don't care, Jake. You can show up at three in the morning if you have to."

He snorted, "I'm sure Charlie would appreciate that."

I replied, "Call me and I can walk to your car. Park down the street by the empty lot. That way Charlie won't see it if he happens to wake up and look out the window."

Jacob muttered, "Sounds like you've done that before."

I frowned at his suddenly bitter tone and slowly replied, "Not really."

He sighed, "You better go, Bella. The boys will be here soon."

I hesitated before asking, "And you're sure they aren't the ones who…?"

Jacob gave me an exasperated look as he assured, "Sam isn't the bad guy, Bella. He's a hell of a lot better than Paul for sure."

"Okay." I sighed as I opened the door. I took a lasting glance at the tall, dark boy before me. "See you later, Jake."

He mumbled, "Later, Bella."


	16. Chapter Fifteen

School was closed for a few days for evaluations and parent-teacher conferences. A week of vacation was the very last thing I wanted, but there were no classes during a holiday. It took only half the morning to finish an English and Trig assignment. I cleaned the bathroom, but that took even less time than the homework. By noon, I was walking aimlessly through the yard. I never strayed within the trees. It was safe to say I had learned my lesson the hard way with that. And because the section of trees behind Charlie's house reminded me of painful memories, I went back inside.

I baked several loaves of bread. Zucchini. Banana. Herb and Cheese. I flipped through dozens of TV channels. I e-mailed Renee and tried to read a book. By early evening, I felt justified in cooking dinner. It was done well before Charlie was home from work, but it was simple enough to reheat the chicken cordon bleu later on. By eight o'clock, I had a sinking feeling in my twisting stomach that I would not be seeing Jacob.

After a bath, I combed my hair and brushed my teeth. In my bedroom, I changed into an oversized shirt and a pair of underwear. I made sure my cellphone was on its charger and set to ring loudly. I hoped Jacob would call. As time ticked by and I stared at the ceiling with burning eyes, I still hoped that he would call. He didn't. It took a long time before my eyes closed.

I woke with a gasp. Lightning was cracking fiercely. After a ground-shaking roll of thunder, I jolted upright in bed. The blankets had been kicked and were tangled around my ankles. I heard a faint noise and it took another prolonged moment for me to figure out it was the clinking of glass. Squinting, I looked at my window. With the steady flashes of brilliant light, I could make out a dark shape clinging to the tree directly outside my window.

My heart skipped several beats, all but stopping within my chest, as my breath froze in my throat. In that moment, I knew it was a vampire. And I was likely dead. Guilt and terror consumed me. My body broke out in gooseflesh and a cold sweat. My father. _Charlie. Charlie. Oh, God, not Charlie. Too much. Too much. Too much._

Then, as the hulking figure swayed heavily with the wind, it tapped the window. _Tap. Tap. Tap._ It was a rapid stucco. Frowning, my heart began to pound as I leaned forward, eyes still squinted. An arm waved. A big, thick arm. I gasped and scrambled off of the bed. I tripped and banged my knee on the end-table. I danced around, wobbling, until the twisted bed sheet finally fell away from my ankles. My palms smacked onto the windowsill and then I was pulling upward with all my might. With a grunt, I let the window fall open.

Water poured in. Wind was gusting and nearly sending me to my knees. I stepped back, eyes round, as Jacob swung from side to side on the bending branches of a birch tree. He called out, "Move back."

"No!" I whisper-shouted, "No! You'll fall down!"

Jacob waved his arm once more as if impatient. Gulping, I stepped back and prepared myself to run to Charlie's bedroom to wake him for an emergency as soon as Jacob fell. No doubt he would break bones. None of that proved necessary because, within the blink of an eye, Jacob had slung himself away from the tree and was clinging to the side of the house. I leaned forward and gripped his slippery hands.

"Get inside, get inside!" I frantically chanted.

Jacob quickly said, "I'm coming. Back up, Bells. I'm okay."

I half-laughed. "You're crazy. You're totally deranged, Jacob Ephraim Black."

And then Jacob was standing in my bedroom. He was mostly naked again. His muscular body was on full display without an ounce of embarrassment on his part. Rainwater poured off of him in rivers and his short hair shined even more than usual. I gaped at him for several moments before he said, "I know I look good, but you'll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that."

Cheeks flushing, I whirled away and stalked to my dresser. Picking up the towel I had used earlier in the night, I tossed it to him. He said, "Thanks."

I watched him roughly scrub himself down. He spent quite a few minutes ruffling his hair before dropping to his knees and sopping up the water on the floorboards. Jacob sighed, "Sorry about that. Storm got heavy a few minutes ago."

"It's okay." I said absentmindedly as I glanced at the clock on the end table. I cleared my throat and murmured, "What are you doing awake and climbing trees at half past four in the morning, Jake?"

"You told me to come at any time." He replied quietly as he climbed to his feet. The soaking wet towel fell out of his hands and hit the floor with a splat. I gestured to the computer chair and said, "Yeah. I did. Have a seat."

Jacob flopped into the chair and leaned back until he was staring at the ceiling. Hesitantly, I climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets onto my lap. I watched him as he began glancing around. There was no doubt he was curious about my bedroom décor. He took in the pale purple and green walls. The grade-school pictures and drawings on a cork board. The slim book case filled to its maximum capacity with tattered, well-loved books. The antique dresser with various lotion bottles and a tiny jewelry box sitting atop. The desk with an ancient computer. The battered backpack with textbooks spilling out. The white laundry hamper in the corner by the door. The paper lanterns strung above my bed. I whispered, "Are you okay?"

He whispered back, "No. I don't think I am."

"What can I do, Jake?" I asked.

"I don't know, Bells. I'm not sure." He quietly replied.

There was a feeling bubbling up inside of me. As I took in the dark smudges under his drooping us, I realized it was anger. A hot, quick lava of rage for whoever had caused Jacob to look this way. There was a pause before Jacob sighed, "I only have four or five hours to spare. I need some Zs, Bells. Haven't slept in a couple days. Maybe I should come back when I have a clear head. Just wanted to see you and ran over without thinking."

"You haven't slept in days?" I asked with a slack jaw. He just shook his head in reply. That anger bubbled lowly in the pit of my stomach before bursting out. I began to rant.

"Jacob, what have they done to you? You look _huge,_ you cut your hair, you don't sleep, you're sick…." I nearly became ill when he turned sideways as he fidgeted. The dim light of my lanterns caught the edge of his skin just right. I saw the dark ink on his shoulder. It looked incredibly fresh and hadn't been there the day before when I saw him. I murmured, "You have a tattoo just like Sam and his gang. Jacob, if you tell me that you're into drugs…"

He frowned and replied, "It isn't drugs, Bella. I told you that."

I raised my eyebrows and grumbled, "What is it then?"

The silence stretched on. The steady drum of raindrops could be heard. The tree limbs outside my window were waving madly. Jacob slouched in the chair, arms on his elbows, with his head hanging down as if defeated. I said, "Jake, this is stupid and I _hate_ it. What is going on? Can Charlie help you? Do we need to run away? Because I have money. We can go somewhere. I want…"

"Bella..." His voice was hoarse and pained.

My breath hitched and I had to fight to swallow the lump growing in my throat. Tears burned and I curled in, pushing deeper underneath my blankets. I turned away from him and stared at the bedroom door. My voice wobbled as I whispered, "Go. If you don't want to stay, I'm not holding you here."

There was a muffled creak of floorboards and then the bed dipped as Jacob slowly lowered himself down. The scent of pine and spice and briny rainwater became powerful in my nose. I felt the heat radiating off of his body. Jacob reached out and gently touched my shoulder for a moment before pulling away. He murmured, "I want to be here. With you. I want that so badly you just don't even know, honey."

My cheeks were hot and my heart was thundering loudly in my ears. So loudly, in fact, that the storm raging outside was nearly nonexistent. Jacob asked, "What were you going to say a moment ago? You started to say you wanted something."

I didn't turn to him, but curled in on myself even more. There was a long moment in which I fought with myself before I whispered, "I want us back to how we were, Jacob. I don't want secrets and distance and weirdness."

"That isn't possible anymore, Bella." He rasped. "I'm so sorry."

"What does that mean?" I demanded, sitting up and whirling around. The blankets slipped off to land on at my knees. Jacob was sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing at me with sorrow. The look was all wrong for my Jacob. This broken boy with a man's face was not who I was used to. He was not my best friend. I swiped at the hot tears and huffed, "Tell me."

"It means…" Jacob swallowed heavily, "I'm not me. I'm not the same guy you were friends with. I'm different. I'm dangerous. And it isn't even me. There's a whole slew of problems now."

"What are they? What do you mean, Jacob?" I demanded harshly.

"You already know. That's the ironic part." He let out a bleak chuckle.

"Know what? What do you think I know?" I asked anxiously.

Jacob eyed me carefully while saying, "About me. About us. Sam and the pack."

I retorted grumpily, "You mean to say his _gang."_

"Nah. It isn't like I first thought." Jacob sighed and leaned his back against the headboard. He quietly explained, "This isn't about drugs or gangs. It's about bloodlines and duty."

"The Council." I exclaimed, "This is about you being Chief one day. This is about the arguments you were having with Billy."

"Kinda. Sorta." He replied with a halfhearted smile.

I struggled for words as I said, "There's no way Billy would just…just…give you to Sam to do with as he pleases."

Jacob chuckled flatly, "Bella, my dad didn't _give_ me to anybody for anything. This would have happened no matter what he or I did. Like I said, it has to do with bloodlines. It's in my DNA. It's who I am."

"What is this? What do you mean?" I demanded, "What about bloodlines?"

He took a breath and turned slightly so he could look me in the eyes. Jacob said, "I'm a shape-shifter, Bella."

I blinked. He eyed me with round, haunted eyes.

I swallowed. "You're a what?"

He said, "I transform into an animal. A wolf. I Protect my people."

My eyes dropped to his hands, which were tightly gripping my purple blanket. His knuckles were stark white. Glancing up, I saw Jacob's full lips were pressed into a thin line. A clap of thunder shook the house and I jumped, heart in my throat, only for Jacob's palm to rub soothingly over my exposed knee.

"You're a…" I trailed off as a long-forgotten memory resurfaced. It had been a gloomy day and my nose had been numb with cold. There were people all around, mostly unfamiliar. The ocean was beautiful. The tide pools were blue-green like stunning jewels. The sand was squishy and I had been walking alongside a dark-skinned boy with long, black hair and rounded cheeks. His smile was bright and handsome. His laughter was full of boyish charm. He was Jacob and it was the first time I could vividly remember walking at First Beach. Words bounced around inside of my skull so much so that a vicious headache began to pound at my forehead. _Our ancestors were supposedly wolves. They call themselves Protectors. Keep us safe from the Cold Ones. Cold Ones. Cold Ones. Wolves. Shape-shifters._

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Vampires." I croaked. The forbidden word left my lips in a nearly silent breath as if my mind had conditioned me never to say such a thing out loud. I felt and saw Jacob's body jerk. He sat up straighter, eyes burning brightly. A subtle tremble occurred across his shoulders and arms.

"Yeah." He spat, "Vampires. Leeches. You know about them, don't you?"

My mouth opened, but no words came out. I felt my breath hiccup in my lungs, so I forced myself to inhale slowly. The deep sneer on Jacob's lips faded. His hands hovered as if he might grab me. He gently said, "Breathe, Bells. I won't hurt you."

I said, "I know. I know that."

After a time, we both relaxed somewhat. He slumped against the headboard once more and I flopped onto my back beside him. I stared at the paper lanterns along the ceiling. Jacob quietly asked, "Are you okay with me like this?"

"Yes." I replied after a pause. "You can't help it, right? You told me you had no choice. Bloodlines, right?"

"Yeah." He rasped, "It's genetics. There's a gene that gets passed down through the generations in the males of the family. If the gene is triggered, the male phases without his consent."

I slowly asked, "How is it triggered? What do you mean by phase?"

He cleared his throat and replied, "Phase is the term we use to describe the transformation. Leeches trigger us."

I gasped, "Leeches? There's vampires around?"

"Don't get too excited." He muttered angrily, "Not the Cullens."

"Who?" I demanded as I sat up again. I glanced at Jacob, who was scowling and grinding his teeth. I snapped, "Tell me, Jacob. I need to know."

"I don't know." He snapped back, "A couple loners. We killed one the other night. We're having trouble catching the other."

"Kill." I echoed. "Oh…"

"They had red eyes, Bella." Jacob spoke in a hard tone. "They're the murderers. We defend ourselves and innocent humans who haven't a prayer of surviving otherwise. We aren't the friggin' bad guys in this scenario."

I frowned before asking, "Why are you so angry at me?"

He deflated like a balloon suddenly released of helium. Jacob sagged backward and muttered, "I'm sorry. Tired. I'm tired and I'm not…used to all this yet."

I suggested, "Just lay down. Rest."

Jacob's head popped up. He looked at me, jaw slack and eyes wide. A smile broke free from my lips. I replied, "I'm serious. You need sleep. Lay down. I can wake you in a few hours. Charlie's alarm goes off at five thirty, but he rarely comes in my room. You can leave after he does."

"Okay." He mumbled before scooting down and plopping his head on a pillow. He turned on his side and closed his eyes. I watched him for a moment before carefully lying beside him. I made sure my hands and feet were tucked underneath my blanket before I went to staring at the ceiling. Eventually, the storm died down until there was nothing but a faint drizzle and the soft rumble of Jacob's snoring.

Just as the pearl gray of dawn was peeking in through my window, Jacob rolled over in his sleep. And mumbled my name.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

After creeping down the staircase and making a pot of coffee, I brought a mug and a bagel up to my bedroom. Jacob looked so peaceful, so I was reluctant to wake him. I set the mug and bagel on the end table before gently shaking his shoulder. His snores cut off quickly. He smacked his lips together and pried open heavy eyelids.

He slurred, "B-Beeeeells…?"

"It's half past six." I whispered, nervously glancing at my bedroom door. I turned back to him as he began to sit up. I said, "There's breakfast."

"Thanks." Jacob mumbled, groping for the cup and snack. The bagel was gone in less than two seconds. I watched, eyebrows raised, as he chugged the piping hot coffee as if it were a cold drink. He set the cup down and sighed, "Thanks, honey. I needed that."

"I wish you could sleep more." I softy replied as I came around the edge of the bed and sat beside him. I added, "You still look exhausted."

"Nah," He shook his head, "I'm good now. Need to check in with Sam and then run my patrol. I'm on at nine." He yawned widely as his jaw cracked.

I winced and asked, "Patrol?"

"Around the boarders of the Rez." Jacob explained, wiping at his face before finally looking at me. There were the faintest of dark shadows under his eyes.

I slowly asked, "You and the others take turns doing this?"

Jacob explained, "Two at a time. Eight hour stretches. Unless there's a leech."

"What happens when you…" I cleared my throat, "…find one?"  
Jacob went very still as he said, "We kill it, Bella."

We lapsed into silence. I was chewing on my bottom lip as he stood up. I blurted, "Be careful. They're really strong. I don't understand how you can kill one."

Jacob laughed. It was a brief, deep baritone of amusement. I peeked at the bedroom door again before he said, "I'm stronger than them. Don't worry, Bells."

He walked to the window, throwing it open. I stood up and quickly asked, "When can I see you?"

He explained, "My patrol ends around five. I'll do check in with Sam and then I can head this way, if you want me to, that is."

"Of course, I do." I replied reproachfully. "I'll save you dinner and dessert."

Jacob smiled my favorite smile. It was full, warm, and bright. "Looking forward to it. Thanks, Bells. See you soon."

And then he jumped out the window. Squeaking, I ran forward so quickly that I rammed my chest into the window pane. I glanced down, stomach churning in dread for what I might see, only to find Jacob standing tall and proud far below. He grinned, giving me a thumbs up. I smiled weakly and watched him jog away until he disappeared within the trees. As I went downstairs to quietly pour a bowl of cold cereal, I guessed shape-shifters really must have abilities similar to vampires.

Afterward, I washed and folded multiple loads of clothes. After putting Charlie's clothes on his bed, and mine on my bed, I went downstairs and paced in circles before I came up with the idea to mop. So, I mopped the kitchen floor and scrubbed the spotless counter tops. On a whim, I went to the local grocery store. I spent entirely too much time reading ingredients' lists and debating produce. I picked up steaks for Charlie, but made sure to buy lean turkey and chicken for the rest of the week's meals. I purposely forgot to grab bacon. The man needed something other than fat in his diet. I grabbed a small carton of double fudge ice cream with a small smile, knowing I would keep it far from Charlie and let Jacob hoard the dessert.

After unloading and storing all the freshly bought groceries, I began thumbing through ancient cookbooks. Still, I glanced at the clock more often than I wanted to. My mind subconsciously went to Jacob. Always Jacob. Being with him was as easy as breathing. I thought of the dozens of picture frames in his living room. The ones of Jacob and I as toddlers and adolescents. It was surreal to think of the faded bits of memory. I had once told an eight-year-old Jacob his eyes were the prettiest things I'd ever seen. I was ten-years-old at the time. The proof was in the hazy picture taped to the Blacks' ancient refrigerator door. It was a still-shot from Jacob's eighth birthday. He had ditched the seat next to Quil for me. Both of us had been covered in blue icing. I sighed and set the cook book down.

"Wolves." I muttered, "I don't…understand."

I ran my fingers through my hair and wondered what I was going to do. There were vampires passing through Forks. Red eyes, Jacob had said. Human blood drinkers. Not friendly. The shape-shifters had killed one of the vampires, which meant Jacob and the other shape-shifters were more than capable of protecting themselves. Protectors. That's what Jacob had called them. Jacob was my best friend. That label neversounded right. It wasn't enough, was it? We were _more._ Somehow.

I pushed through my muddy brain. He was more than a best friend. Had always been more than that. He was a part of me like an extension of myself. Jacob was my best friend, my Jacob, and we fit together in unexplainable ways. He was different now, which was painfully plain to see. Yet I had seen _my_ Jacob through the veneer of anger. His body was different, his demeanor was different. His attitude had changed as well. He was Jacob, though. His eyes were the same. The way he spoke my name was the same. His slow, sure grin was the same.

I prepped dinner and then drove to Newton's for a short shift. Very few customers came into the store, but I was busy with stocking merchandise and cross-referencing inventory. Thankfully, Mike wasn't working. By the time I pulled in the driveway later that evening, Charlie was already home. I came inside to find him listening to commentary on a basketball game and fiddling with his fishing gear.

"Hey, Bells." He said.

"Hey, Dad." I replied, dropping my work bag and keys on the sofa. I walked into the kitchen and called out, "Chicken fettucine for dinner. Oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert."

At a quarter to six o'clock, I went upstairs for a bath. Thoughts continued to swirl inside my head. Jacob was a wolf. The odd, foreign thought had me blinking blankly at the bathroom walls for some time. My mind wanted to scream, to protest how unfair it was for such a beautiful person to become something so tiring and angry. Bitter. And deadly. Dangerous. The other part of me was sure I had invented this entire event in my broken mind. _Too much, too much, too much._

Sighing, I stepped out of the bright light of the bathroom and into the dim light of my bedroom. I whispered, "Maybe you're just really insane now…"

Even as I said the words, I didn't believe them. Jacob's voice was real. His tone and fear and anger were real. His warmth and calloused fingers were real. I had lived in many places in my short life, but ever since I moved to Forks, I had never had realer experiences. Painful, raw, aching memories both happy and sad. Jacob was one of the realest people I had ever met. He, and one other, held the most tangible moments of my life and heart.

While chaotic thoughts swirled around in my head, I pulled a comb through my wet hair. When the shadow from the opposite side of the bedroom moved, my heart jumped in my throat and a fleeting thought popped inside my head. _Vampire. Red eyes. A vampire_ _was here. Finally._  
The comb clattered to the floorboards. As fear turned to numbness, I realized the shadow was no longer moving. It was huge, too massive to be a petite child-like Victoria or one of the slimmer Cullens. Even Emmett, with his bulk, was not this big. Warmth seemed to slowly seep inside my chest. I whispered, "Jake…?"

"I didn't mean to scare you, Bells." His voice was deep, tired, _older._ I gulped.

"I can't see a thing." I grumbled, turned to my left, and flipped on a lamp. I turned back toward the general direction of his shadow. I asked, "The window again?"

He shrugged and echoed, "The window."

I didn't bother asking why he came through the window and not the front door. It was night time, but not late. He could have rung the doorbell and told Charlie he was here to visit me for a bit, but Jacob hadn't done that. He was a stranger again. The Other Jacob. Not My Jacob. His posture was tense. His teeth were grinding together. I took a chance and glanced up. My breath caught when I took in his bare chest and the hard, sweaty muscles. Jacob's hair was dripping water. The odd tattoo on his shoulder made my fingers itch. His jaw was just as taut as it ever was. He trembled subtly.

I looked at his eyes. They were deep pools of dark chocolate. I whispered, "Need a hug?"

My cheeks were flushing as I shuffled forward. After a brief hesitation, I hurriedly took three lunges just as Jacob opened his arms wide. I ducked my chin to his chest while curling my arms around his waist. His skin was hot to the touch. Jacob mumbled, "You should be scared of me. Should be terrified."

"Why would I be?" I asked. When Jacob remained silent, I took a step back. With my arms still around his middle, I craned my neck up and gazed at him. There were foreign aspects to a face I had once known so well. Jutting cheekbones that used to be more rounded. Too sharp jawline. Dark stubble where there was once none. All foreign. And yet, the wide eyes were the same. Broad nose. Full lips. Dimple indented in the middle of a square-cut chin. All familiar.

"Hey, listen to me." I insisted quietly, "You're still you, Jacob."

"Even if I transform into a big ass dog? A killing machine?" He choked.

"Even then." I replied.

"You don't get it." He stressed as his big body began to shake. I put my cheek back to his chest and slowly began to rub my hands on his upper back like I would to soothe a child. I whispered, "Explain it to me."

"I'm not _human_ anymore, Bella. I have these instincts that take over. These…these…desires that are potent and damn well terrifying. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my own skin. Never thought I'd have a hard time walking on two feet, but it's true. I'm restless or exhausted. Those are the only two feelings left. I don't feel like myself at all."

Jacob pulled away from me rather roughly and I stumbled, catching myself on the back of the desk chair. Jacob began to pace, moving quickly. As I focused on his bare feet, I felt my body break out in a chill. His feet were nearly a blur. Not as quick as a vampire, but certainly faster than a human.

Swallowing, I crossed my arms over my chest. I was irritated at my heart for pounding so swiftly. I opened my mouth to speak, but Jacob began to rant in a voice like gravel. "I'm not a kid anymore. There is no going back, no matter how much I wish I could. My DNA changed, Bella. I'm literally different than…who you knew. I turn into a huge wolf. I'm unbelievably strong as in I can walk outside and bench press your damn truck with two fingers. My muscles have tripled and if I grow another inch taller, I'll have to join a circus for freaks."

For a second I thought he would stop talking, but he continued in the same growling voice. "My hearing is so acute that I feel your heart beating like crazy. I can hear every animal scurrying out in that forest behind your house. If I get too angry, I explode into a beast that can rip a human in half. I have to eat pounds and pounds of food a day or my body will shut down. I feel as if I'm on fire constantly because my temperature stays at one hundred and eight now."

Jacob whipped dark eyes in my direction and his eyes were burning. He whispered, "That's only the half of it, but the worst part is I hurt you, Bella. I wasn't there when you needed me. I left and that's the worst thing I could have done to you. I'm not sure if I can fix this."

There was a pause. His chest was heaving. I could see the micro-movements as his muscles twitched. I swallowed heavily and said, "I forgive you. And I'm here."

He sagged, knees bending as his towering height came to rest at the chair that I was now sitting on. Big palms rubbed circles on my knees as he looked at me. Jacob whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bells. I don't know if I'm any good for you anymore. I feel so toxic and angry."

"You are good." I insisted, reaching forward and taking his hands in mine. I squeezed them and fiercely stated, "Jacob Black is an incredible person. He's kind and funny and patient. He's talented, dedicated, and determined. He's my best friend, so don't you dare speak about him so negatively."

His lips tilted up, but the expression was heartbreaking. I whispered, "You are different, but that doesn't change anything for me. I promise I'm here to remind you of who you are when you forget. Okay?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Good. Let me go find you a pair of Charlie's old sweats. You can change in here. After you eat, you can rest."

I snuck Jacob the entire container of leftover chicken fettucine and a big bowl of double fudge chocolate ice cream along with a few cookies. He scarfed the food down in less than three minutes as I watched, both impressed and disgusted. Once Charlie was in his bed for the night, I went downstairs and brought the laundry basket to my bedroom. I slipped a pair of folded pants out of the stack and handed them to Jacob. I said, "They're definitely going to be too short. Here. Cut them with scissors."

After wrestling with the scissors and fabric, we managed to crudely cut him a pair of baggy shorts. I glanced at my bedroom door before saying, "Charlie is asleep on the sofa. If you hurry, you can shower and dress before he notices."

"What would you do if he realized I was here?" Jacob asked me slowly.

I frowned and turned my eyes his way. I replied, "Tell the truth."

"The truth?" He echoed, raspy-voiced and tired.

I said, "Yeah. I'd tell him you're having a rough time and needed a friend."

There was a pause and I felt as if I had said the wrong thing. Jacob slowly stood up from his slumped over position on the edge of my bed. Barefoot and tracking muddy footprints, Jacob left my bedroom. A moment later, I heard the squeak of knobs turning in the bathroom. Quickly, I dressed in my pajamas- cotton shorts and a tank top- before crawling under the blankets. My head turned when I smelt the fruitiness of my shampoo. Jacob was bending over, hastily wiping at the floorboards with a towel. He closed the door and locked it before whispering, "Charlie woke up. He's coming up the stairs, but he didn't see me."

I gestured and whispered back, "Come lay down."

Jacob edged around the bed and hesitated only a moment before slipping under the blankets. I had never considered my bed small before, but Jacob's body was so broad that our shoulders and legs touched. My cheeks felt hot as I recalled our legs tangled with one another the morning before.

Several silent minutes passed in which we heard nothing more than Charlie's footsteps and our own exhales. The bedroom was dimly lit, so I had to squint to make out the shape of Jacob's jawline. I stared, perhaps longer than necessary, because he finally turned and met my eyes. He raised a dark brow and murmured, "See something you like, Bells?"

My heart skipped a beat. Wordlessly, I rolled over and faced away from him. The sheets made noise as I settled down. I tried to ignore the way his leg hair tickled my foot. With each inhale, my heel brushed against his thigh. Carefully, I moved my foot away from him. He sighed heavily, "Sorry, Bells. Don't be uncomfortable. Not with me, please. I was just being dumb."

Biting my lip, I listened to the soft husky note to his voice. Its sound was soothing without even meaning to be so. I reached behind me and patted my hand across the mattress. When my fingers brushed his, I gasped at the feel. Thick fingers, rough at the edges with callouses. Wide palms. Strong hands. Gentle hands. Warmth.

I wrapped my fingers around his and tugged. There was no resistance, so I brought his long arm around my waist and tucked our intertwined hands to my chest. We fell into a deep silence punctured only by an occasional soft sigh. Our rhythmic breathing, the gentle movement of broad shoulders and chest, had lulled me into a dream land. Jacob murmured, "You have no idea how much you mean to me. I can't lose you, Bella. It would kill me."

I tightened my hand reflexively against his. With a frown on my face, my eyes slowly opened. I wondered if I had been dreaming until I felt the soft press of full lips against the tip of my shoulder. My body stiffened. My heart skipped. In that moment, I knew that he knew I was awake. There was a pause. Jacob's bare chest was pressed against my back. His lips were brushing softly against my shoulder. His hand was clasped within my own. Slowly, he began to pull away. My hand tightened on his. I whispered, "Stay."

He relaxed, settling down after a moment of restlessness. I maneuver a bit, scooting forward and exposing most of my pillow. Jacob laid his head down directly behind me. I felt his breath tickle my ear and stir my hair as he whispered, "Goodnight, Bells. Sweet dreams."

I murmured, "Goodnight, Jake."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

We continued with a new, strange routine. For the rest of my time outside of school, I would sit on the porch, bake, or work shifts at Newton's. It seemed Mike was in a mood better than ever before. I declined every date offer Mike gave me. I started ignoring his calls to the home phone as well. I was heavily reminded of why I hadn't offered any friends at school my cellphone number.

Always late in the night or early in the morning, sometimes at ten o'clock and sometimes at two, Jacob would climb through my window looking like a ghost. The deep circles under his eyes grew more pronounced. On a good day, he would smile tiredly and eat plenty of dinner leftovers before snoring peacefully in my bedroom. On a bad day, Jacob would remain silent and somber. He would wake often, tossing and turning, holding tightly to me as if he were afraid. I never asked him why he wasn't going home to Billy.

Most mornings, sometimes before the sun had risen and sometimes just after, Jacob would be gone. All that was left of his time in my bed was the smell of pine and earth on my sheets. Once or twice, I had woken to my alarm for an early shift at Newton's, just to find a blurry-eyed Jacob still in bed. It was in those moments, when the blankets were draped across his waist and all his bronzed skin was on display, that I found my own body to be treacherous.

My gut would clench and my skin would go completely warm. I spent mindless hours debating with myself only to conclude that my reaction had nothing to do with the physical. Not truly. Mike, who was the only other male I found myself dealing with on a regular basis, was not an ugly guy. He had golden blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a nice smile. His skin was free of any severe blemishes. He had a bawdy laugh and a well-meaning nature. He wasn't skinny nor fat. He wasn't particularly muscular, certainly not like Jacob, but Mike did have some muscle definition. Why then, was I not attracted to him? Was it because I didn't truly care about him as awful as that made me feel?

I thought, after yet another shift at work, that Mike simply wasn't the type of man I liked. Maybe I had a particular type and Mike didn't fit the bill. Yet, when I compared the only two men I had liked with any real conviction, I came up with nothing in common between them. Not physically and certainly not mentally or emotionally. Both Jacob and _him_ were polar opposites. The only common trait I could find was the fact that both were supernatural. And still, none of my inner musings explained my physical attraction to Jacob.

I wasn't attracted to him, I tried to remind myself, only to berate myself for lying. It was demeaning to Jacob, to pretend as if I felt nothing for him. After all, the idea of allowing Mike Newton or Erik York to sleep in my bed was absurd. Neither would I have ever invited Angela or Jessica to stay the night at my home, in my bedroom. None of my school friends had ever had the kind of profound connection I had had with Jacob.

They didn't speak with me of dead mothers, estranged sisters, childhood fears, or financial struggles. None of my school friends hugged me in greeting every time we saw one another. They didn't twirl my hair and whisper in my ear. They didn't hold my hand when we walked on the beach. I didn't cook for them. I didn't know their favorite foods or colors. My heart didn't clench in my chest at the very thought of any of them in pain.

On a dreary Monday morning, as I made breakfast for Charlie, I realized the full extent of the truth. There was no one like Jacob Black. Jacob had never, and would never, fit into the category of simply being my friend.

After waving goodbye to Charlie, I pulled apple-cinnamon muffins from the oven. Unbeknownst to Charlie, there was a giant teenage boy sleeping in my bed upstairs. I knew, from a brief and quiet conversation the night before, that Jacob didn't have to patrol again until eleven o'clock in the afternoon. He had run to and fro, covering dozens of miles of territory from five in the evening until just before two in the morning. It was then that he had hopped through the window, startling me awake.

Jacob had whispered quietly, slipping in between the blankets and pressing against me. I vaguely remembered warmth and melting against him, putting my cheek to his neck and inhaling. I remembered full lips brushing across my forehead and blunt nose trailing over the shell of my ear. I remembered the smell of pine and salt. When I woke to the muffled sound of Charlie's alarm sometime later, I shuffled out of Jacob's tight hold. I had smirked, chuckling quietly as he grumbled in his sleep, smacked his lips together and opened heavy eyes. I had instantly stopped my quiet laugh when he rolled over, eyes closed again. Jacob had whispered, "My Bells. Come back to bed."

I hadn't listened. Instead, I had closed my bedroom door and hastily made a dash for the kitchen. Charlie had spoken to me a bit more than usual at the breakfast table. He had asked why I was baking so many muffins. He had asked if I had any plans for my upcoming graduation. He had asked how Jacob was doing. I had answered a vaguely as possible on all accounts.

I had a mug of warm coffee and was pouring a tall cup full of orange juice when Jacob shuffled into the kitchen sometime after Charlie left for work. Jacob was still bare-chest and wearing the cut-up sweatpants of Charlie's. He had begun leaving them on the floor before jumping out of the window each morning. I tried not to think about the fact that, for at least a few seconds, Jacob stood naked in my bedroom while I slept.

"Hey." I said as I turned back to the stove. I plated six apple muffins and several sausage links before setting the platter on the table. "Here you go."

I turned to the refrigerator. I was rummaging through as I said, "That probably won't be enough for you. I have leftover lasagna from the night before. I could make a cold-cut sandwich for you. We have chips in the cupboard, I think. There's still plenty of blueberry cobbler, but I'm not sure how healthy that is for breakfast."

A warm thumb brushed over the nape of my neck. I squeaked, straightened up and closed the refrigerator door. Turning around, I found myself face to face with a frowning Jacob. He asked, "What's wrong, Bells?"

"N-Nothing." I stammered as my eyes dropped to the floor.

Carefully, Jacob reached out and tilted my chin up with one finger. He gave a lopsided smile and said, "I know you better than that. What's up?"

"Eat your breakfast. It will get cold." I replied.

"Nope." He said, popping the 'p' with a long noise. Jacob brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips lingered tenderly. I pressed my lips together and ducked away from him. I leaned against the countertop and awkwardly said, "Don't do that, Jake…"

"Why not?" He asked simply.

"You know why not." I mumbled with my eyes averted.

"No, I don't." He said, "You can tell me, though."

I sighed, "It's too early in the morning for this."

"No, it isn't." Jacob said with amusement. "You're an early riser, anyway."

"Stop playing games, Jake. I'm serious." I snapped suddenly. I pushed myself away from the countertop and retorted, "I'm not here for your entertainment."

His dark gaze burned brightly as he took a lunging step forward, effectively cornering me until I was pressed against the countertop once more. Jacob stepped forward and leaned down, still towering over me, until we were toe to toe. Our thighs brushed. His face was so close to mine I nearly crossed my eyes to meet his mocha glare. There was an odd, muffled rumbling sound. At first, I thought there was an old truck coming down the road. It took a moment for me to realize the sound was coming from Jacob.

I watched as his bronzed skin trembled. He put either palm on the countertop, which created a cage around me. All I could focus on was burning, melting mocha eyes. He rasped, "You are _not_ a game to me, Bella. You know that. You also know I'm only worried about you because you've been acting out of sorts. Talk to me. I know you want to, but you're afraid."

I bit my lip as one russet hand lifted. It slowly began tracing my ear again. Jacob murmured, "I'm here for you, Bells. Why are you upset? Why are you stressed? Maybe I can help."

I sighed as he asked, "Is it me? The coming in late. Eating all your food. I can leave, Bells, if you need space."

"No, Jake." I whispered, "It isn't that."

"Not that." He murmured thoughtfully, "But it is me. I'm the problem."

"No." I replied more firmly. "I'm the problem as usual."

We were quiet for a moment. Jacob asked, "How so?"

His fingertips were softly pressed against the side of my neck. His thumb was causing gooseflesh to sprout across my skin. I swallowed before saying, "J-Just us…this…I don't want to hurt you."

His eyes flickered to my cheeks, watching as a hot blush bloomed. Jacob quietly said, "I know what I'm doing, Bells."

I sighed and closed my eyes. My hand came up and I gently grabbed his wrist to still his movements. His big palm remained on my skin and I didn't have the strength to push him away. I swallowed heavily and whispered, "I'm afraid that you might think this is something it isn't, Jake."

"I know exactly what we are, Bells." Jacob replied evenly. The silence lasted a moment more before he added gently, "I know where I stand and where you stand. The problem is that _you_ know where you stand, too. You just don't like it. You're surprised to find yourself where you are now, I think, which makes you nervous."

My eyes opened and narrowed. I huffed, "Don't tell me what I think or feel, Jacob. I'm trying to be nice, but you aren't listening."

Dark eyes roamed across my features. He murmured, "Listening."

"I don't want to lead you on, but I have." I blurted out. My cheeks flushed deeply. I felt dizzy as I rushed to explain myself. "I don't think we can keep acting like this. I don't want you angry or hurt, but Jake…I-I can't be what you want me to be. I'm not capable of it anymore."

"What makes you think I want anything more than you as you are right now?"

"I'm not sure what you mean." I replied, tired and confused.

He smiled. "Come on, Bells. You're the smartest girl I know. Don't play dumb."

"We're just friends, Jake. I can't be anything more than a friend." I whispered.

Jacob said, "We are friends, honey. Best friends. I don't see the problem here."

"Who is playing dumb now, huh, Jake?" I asked, exasperated.

"Not really, Bells. We're the same as we've ever been, but better." He reassured.

I said, "You _know_ what I'm talking about. We can't keep…sleeping together."

He grinned as he replied happily, "Sleeping together? I think I would remember something like that. Definitely would remember that with you."

I blushed. "Don't make jokes, you jerk. God, can you stop being childish?"

"Damnit, Bells." He sighed heavily and slid his hands to my elbows. He yanked me forward until I stumbled into him. His arms went around my waist and even when I tugged, Jacob didn't let me go. He pressed his palm into the back of my head until I groaned and put my cheek to his chest. I listened to the thumping of his heartbeat.

Jacob pressed his lips against my ear and murmured, "I know you're still hurting. I know you're scared of letting yourself care. I scare you because you do care even though you don't want to. This is me being truthful, Bella, so listen up."

He inhaled shakily and said, "I'm in too deeply with you, okay? I understand that you're healing, honey. I'm willing to wait for you however long I have to, but if you really want me gone, then tell me so. Tell me I have no chance of you ever loving me. Look me in the eyes and tell me truthfully that I mean nothing to you. And I'll leave you be. We can stop this right now."

Tears built and burned hotly in my eyes, so I blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. I knew, even as he spoke, that I could say none of those cruel words. Not to him. Not to Jacob. Sniffling, I slowly turned my head until my lips pressed against his sternum. The skin was smooth, tight, and burning hot. There was a deep hitching of breath, which Jacob released on a gushing sigh. His hands banded around my waist, holding me tightly. After a long, silent embrace I pulled away and wiped fitfully at my eyes. I turned to the sink, dipping my hand into cold, sudsy water. I croaked, "Eat your breakfast."

"Yes mam." He murmured. There was the squeak of a chair and then the tinkling of silverware on ceramic. Jacob slurped on his drink. I ran hot water from the faucet. After some time, I cleared my throat. "Are you seeing Billy at all anymore?"

"Yes." Jacob chuckled from beside the table. "Not as often as usual, though."

I opened my mouth, but a piercing howl cut through the partially opened kitchen window. Gasping, a mug slipped from my watery hands and plunked back into the sink. There was a crash as the chair fell to the floor. Jacob was already lunging toward the door, skin trembling. "Wait!" I cried, "What's happening?"

"The leech." Jacob spit as he charged for the back door. I followed on his heels while wiping my hands on my pajama pants. He growled, "It's the redheaded bitch. Bet she came through town again."

I stumbled, my bare toe catching on the doorway. Jacob reached back, catching me by the elbow and standing me upright. His face was tightly lined as he said, "I'll catch you later. Stay inside. Don't leave your house."

"Wait…" I breathed, "Redhead. A woman? Curly hair?"  
"What? Yeah. Yeah. How in the hell did you know? You know this bloodsucker?" Jacob demanded with a deep frown on his face.

My chest and throat were constricting. I abruptly lowered myself to the ground, sitting quickly with my feet tucked underneath my legs. Jacob squatted down, a deep frown and a grim set to his lips. He spoke rapidly, but I heard nothing except the thundering of my heart. I wiggled my fingers, but they still felt numb.

"Bella!" Jacob barked loudly, reaching down and shaking my shoulders. "Bella, listen to me. Answer me, damnit. Do you know the redheaded leech? What's she after? Why is she sticking around?"

"Me." I croaked, "She's after me."

"What?" He snarled. I watched blankly as his upper lip peeled from his teeth. Jacob smoothly scooped me up and jogged back into the house. He snatched my wallet and keys off of the countertop and headed out the front door, slamming it shut with his heel. He shoved me in the truck, jumped in the driver's seat, and gunned the engine. We were speeding down familiar roads within moments. I realized I was in pajamas without shoes. I shakily asked, "What are you doing?"

He growled, "Taking you to Emily's house. To Sam. I need you on our land."

"Jacob, I don't-"

"You aren't safe, Bella!" He snapped loudly, "There are wolves prowling all along La Push. Forks is much bigger of a territory. We _thought_ the bitch was circling Forks, but we never gave her a chance to move about. We always chase her straight into the ocean or through the Canadian border."

My thoughts clicked together like puzzle pieces. I asked, "What did the other vampire look like? The one you killed before."

I counted a full ten seconds before Jacob replied, "A really dark-skinned male. The male had red eyes and dreadlocks."

I whispered, "Laurent…"

Jacob cut a somber expression in my direction before saying, "The female's a redhead who runs faster than any leech anybody's ever seen."

"She's petite. Childlike." I quietly said, "She has very curly hair and a button nose. She never wears shoes."

"How many fucking leeches do you know, Bella?" He snorted bitterly.

I looked at him and whispered, "A few."

Jacob jerked the wheel and I fell against the door. Grunting, I up-righted myself just in time for the truck to come to a screeching halt in front of a cabin. Sam Uley was opening the screen door just as four half-naked men bounded out of the treeline. Jacob called out, "Where'd she go?"

"Back into the ocean." Jared called back.

"Why did you bring Leech Lover?" Paul snapped.

The four men, one of which was Embry, had me staring blankly. It was Jacob who took insult to my new nickname. He growled and I jumped, nearly slipping as I slammed the passenger side truck door. My bare feet squished in mushy grass. The sound that crawled out of Jacob's throat was a low, guttural growl. My head whipped in his direction, but he was too busy glaring at Paul to notice me.

Sam was suddenly in the spacious gap between the four men and us. He put a hand to Jacob's bare chest and demanded, "Calm down. Paul, shut it. Jacob, tell me why you've brought Bella when you were meant to answer our call for aid."

"It's after her." Jacob snarled before slapping Sam's broad palm away. I flinched as the sound of flesh against flesh echoed just as loudly as his inhumane growling. I expected Sam to attack Jacob, but he didn't. The older man just glared.

"The leech. How? Why?" Sam demanded. He cut his dark gaze at me, but I pointedly looked away and tucked myself closer to Jacob's side.

"I don't know." Jacob retorted before glancing at me. He turned his back to the other men and snapped, "Go somewhere else. You're crowding her."

"It isn't your place to-" Paul's angry words were cut off by Jacob yelling, "It isn't as if you won't hear the fucking conversation. Even if you couldn't, you know Sam would relay the information. Just give her space to explain. Go the hell away."

After a nod from Sam, the four half-naked men bounded the porch steps and disappeared into the cabin. Sam fully faced us and ordered, "Explain now."

"I-I met her through the Cullen family. Her name is Victoria."

"And?" Sam asked tersely, "Is she of their coven?"

"No. No. She was a stranger. She was from a different family. I mean, coven. Victoria was from a different coven. They were passing through Forks during a thunderstorm. We were playing baseball, in a field behind the Cullen's mansion, when the nomad vampires heard us. They were curious, especially when they realized I was human. They asked to join our game." I explained haltingly.

Sam asked, "Who is 'they'? Do you mean the redhead's coven? How many?"

"Three, I think. I only met three. Jacob said you killed Laurent, though."

Sam nodded. "The black male? Yes. What of the third? Male or female?"

I paused before saying, "Male. His name was James. He…He's dead now."

"Dead? Are you sure? He was ripped to pieces and burned?" Sam asked.

"Yes." I whispered, "Yes. James was killed over a year ago."

"What does the redhead want with you?" Sam sternly retorted.

"Revenge, I think." I replied on a shaky exhale.

"Revenge?" Jacob whispered, "What in the hell for? You're human."

I looked away from both men and focused on a rust spot on the hood of my truck. It took several times of me swallowing before I said, "James was what the Cullens called a Tracker. From my understanding, that meant he was capable of scenting someone just once and finding them wherever they went. He scented me. He wanted to hunt me. And he did."

Jacob inhaled sharply, but I still didn't look in his direction. I looked at the rust spot and began counting the flakes and chipped paint scratches. I cleared my throat before saying, "Carlisle and the rest of the family warned James off. I was taken across the country while wearing Esme's clothes. Rosalie wore my clothes. Everyone was set into groups in order to confuse James. One group went with my clothing. One group went to escape with me. The third was to hunt for James. I went with Alice and Jasper, but James called me while in an airport. I slipped away through the crowds because he had played old videotapes of my mother's voice through the phone. I thought James had her. I followed his directions. Went to him. When I realized he didn't have Renee, I was relieved. James planned to kill me. He filmed the entire thing. He was angry, you see, at the Cullens."

I choked, "He was angry at…at Edward. He knew that Edward was protecting me and had planned to kill James in return for threatening me. I was lucky that James wanted to draw my death out because that gave time for Edward and the others to find me. I was bitten, but Edward and Carlisle healed me. I can't remember much beyond that point, but I know Jasper and Alice finished killing James while Edward drew the venom from my veins. I guess…Victoria wants to kill me because her mate died because of me. An eye for an eye."

I met the somber stare of Sam. Before either of us could say a word, Jacob lunged forward, maneuvered my elbow, and softly pulled my arm until it was outstretched. I heard his fast muttering, but didn't catch what he said. Jacob yanked back the fabric of my sweatshirt and exposed the moon shaped scar on my wrist. Both men went gray in the face as they looked at my arm with grim expressions.

"That's where this scar came from." Jacob rasped. He stared at me with liquid eyes of sadness. "They tried to kill you, Bella. Turn you."

"Not the Cullens." I whispered instantly, "They aren't like that."

Jacob's finger brushed back and forth over the scar. His shoulders were trembling slightly. There was a pause before Sam said, "She is safe here, Jake."

"And what about in Forks, huh? What about her home? About Charlie?" He snapped suddenly. His eyes were wide and darker than ever before.

I whispered, "Charlie. I have to find a way to keep him safe. Maybe if…"

"NO." Jacob snarled, tugging me hard so that I fell against his chest. He wrapped arms around my waist and growled, "You're nuts if you think I'm going to let you give yourself to her in an attempt to save your dad."

"I didn't say I was going to do that." I snapped back, but my reply was muffled because my face was flush with his chest. I struggled and demanded, "Let go of me."

He did so instantly, but I stumbled and Jacob caught my elbow. I swept my hair out of my eyes and huffed, "Enough with the macho man bullcrap, Jake."

"Don't give me your lies and hissy fits, Bella. I know exactly what you were thinking and you know that I know I'm right." He said with a narrowed gaze.

"Ugh!" I stomped my foot and groaned. "You're ridiculous."

"Says the girl who is wearing cartoon pajama pants and stomping her foot in a mud puddle like a dramatic teenager." Jacob replied hotly.

I paused and blushed before saying, "You're an ass."

"Is that the best you've got?" He asked before stepping forward and leaning down. He sighed, "This situation sucks like hell, Bella. We know what that leech is after now. This can help us. She will stay closer to La Push. You're her target."

"That doesn't save any of the people in my life, Jake." I cried in frustration as I crossed my arms over my chest. He eyed me intensely before muttering, "I know. The sooner she's dead, the better off we will all be."

I glanced at Sam, who was still ease dropping rudely and obviously on our conversation. I wiped at my eyes and asked, "What about Charlie?"

Jacob glanced at Sam, who nodded. He turned to me and said, "Come on. Let's walk and talk, Bells."

He had walked only a short way when Sam called out, "Keep her in La Push for tonight, Jake."

"Yeah, yeah." Jacob muttered and rolled his eyes. "I hear you, Captain."

I was irritated as I quickened my pace to keep up with Jacob's powerful stride. I demanded, "Where are you going?"

"My house." He sighed, "Don't bother trying to walk back to your truck. Sam will have taken the keys by now. It sucks, I know. Sorry."

"Are you serious?" I huffed as I sped up. I complained, "Slow down. Darn it. Jake. Really?"

I reached for his arm. He ground to a halt as I smacked his forearm. Yelping, I brought my stinging palm to my mouth. Jacob chuckled, eyeing me funnily. He said, "My skin is really tough now, Bells. Be more careful, honey."

I huffed, "You can't just keep me here against my will, you idiot."

Jacob frowned and said, "I'm not. You're welcome to leave, but it's only going to increase the chance that somebody gets killed. Likely, you. Use your common sense, Bella. If we stay in a group and she comes for you here, we will have her by the throat. You would have visited with me on any regular day, right?"

I narrowed my eyes and muttered, "No."

He chuckled. "Stop with the lies. You suck at it, don't you know?"

I grumbled, "Fine. What is the plan? Keep me here indefinitely while a crazed vampire hunts me down? What about Charlie? What about all the other people in town?"

Jacob sighed, "My job is to protect you, Bella. Sam has already put a wolf on Charlie duty. Quil phased two nights ago and he volunteered to trail Charlie while he's working. Works out well enough."

I gasped, "What? When? I've only just told you guys about Victoria."

Jacob opened the front door and immediately walked to the rusted heater. He smacked his palm on top, and waited until it puttered to life. Jacob poured a cold glass of water and brought it to me as I sat on the sofa. After he sat down, he explained himself.

"Last night during our meeting, I told Sam that twice now the leech had gotten entirely too close to your house. Both times, Charlie was at home. I thought it was a coincidence at first. Still, I volunteered to pick up any extra shifts, but even then, I wouldn't have been able to stay on Charlie duty twenty-four hours a day. That's when Quil offered to help."

I pressed my lips together and whispered, "What now?"

"Now?" Jacob smirked sharply as he said, "Now we hunt her."


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Jacob took off not long after he brought me to his house. He told me to stay inside. Told me he wasn't sure when he would be back. Told me he would speak to Billy and Billy would talk to Charlie about my hanging out at the Rez. It didn't take long before my nervous energy resulted in a cleaning fit. Billy came home sometime at sunset and happily handed over a bag of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry. I ate beside Billy in the living room, trying and failing to pay attention to a pre-season baseball game. At some point, I retrieved all of Jacob's clothes from the dryer and went to his bedroom to fold. Halfway through the folding and organizing, I laid my head against his pillows. The scent of pine and salt lulled me to sleep within moments.

When I first awoke, I was met with an unbearable sickness in my stomach. I barely registered that I was in Jacob's house, in his bedroom, on his bed, before I felt the familiar rumble in my lower body. Rushing to get up, I stumbled around and alarmingly tried to open the door. I clamped my mouth shut and stumbled blindly back to the bed. Leaning over, my hands went to my stomach. Tears of embarrassment filled my eyes and I tried to hold back the sickness. That's when Jake bounded in the bedroom, flipped the light on, and startled me.

I squealed in surprise. He thrust a waste basket in front of my face and I immediately became violently ill. A meal worth of greasy fish fry made a reappearance. I wanted to tell Jacob to leave me be, to turn his head, get out of the bedroom. Anything but hold my hair back and whisper soft words in my ear as I vomited. After dry heaving and gagging, my throat burned and my back hurt. I slumped backward into his strong chest. We were silent for so long that I began to hear our heartbeats. They were beating at the same pace, both long and hard beats. _Thump, thump, thump_. When I could no longer take the sticky sweat on my forehead and the hot fever running rapidly through my body, I stood up.

"Jake, could you just leave me alone for a minute..." I trailed off and caught the confused expression in his dark eyes. I stuttered, "I-I need a shower…" I looked down at the gross basket and added, "I'll clean that up. I need to get home. Charlie's probably freaking out. I meant to call him and head home once you were off patrol."

"He knows you're here, honey." Jake stood and my eyes went to his toned stomach. The cut-off denim did little to hide the V-shape pointing between his hips. My heart skipped a beat and I tore my eyes away.

"H-How?" I stuttered, "What does Charlie know?"

Jacob shrugged and replied, "I took care of it. Billy had called earlier in the day to say you were here and we were hanging out. When I got home, you had missed a call from Charlie on your cellphone, so I called him back. I explained that you had fallen asleep. I don't think he quite believed me, so I had to ham it up a bit. Told him you were tired. Told him your nightmares were bothering you. Charlie calmed down after that. Warned me not to try anything funny with you." Jacob sighed.

"Anyway, I told him you were pretty emotional and had fallen asleep on the couch. Charlie said you have to be home in a couple hours from now."

I whispered, "I've got to clean up. I think that fish fry was off."

The shower was warm and my stomach was empty of all contents. The knots in my back refused to leave even after my half attempt at rubbing them away. After blissful time basking in the hot water, I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. I could smell Jacob's earthy scent and just make out his tall frame through the shower curtain. He spoke gently. "Honey, I got you some clothes right here. I brought my old hair brush and some medicine. I ran down to the store and picked up a toothbrush. I'm going to make you a glass of juice."

"Thanks, Jake." I murmured in a scratchy voice. My head was swimming and seconds after I heard the bathroom door close, I shut the water off and put my hands against the slick shower wall. _Get a hold of yourself, Bella._ With a shaky breath and even shakier legs I climbed out the tub, wrapped a ratty towel around my body, and stood for a full minute while trying to get my dizziness under control. I was just bending toward the cabinet for another towel when I heard Jacob's angered voice. He was talking in hostile whispers in the hallway.

"She woke up spewing. I wasn't going to leave her like that."

Billy's voice replied in a tone that matched his son's. "You stay gone well after your patrols are over. You don't come home, but I know you're sleeping somewhere. Charlie is dropping hints, fishing around to find out what is between you and her. I keep dodging him at every turn. Now, you keep her here overnight, in your bed? Jacob, you're not ready for this."

He heatedly whispered, "Ready for what, Dad? She's mine to keep safe. Mine to protect. Nobody can change that. Not you and damn well not Charlie. This leech is after her. I'm taking Bella home later. I'll guard her as I've been doing. And I'll stay in Forks with her if this bothers you so much, although you know she's safer on our turf."

"You think you can stay in his house without him catching on?" Billy asked in exasperation. I strained to hear the wheels from Billy's chair as he rolled closer to the bathroom door. He said, "I'm sure Charlie would love to see that you two are sneaking around together."

"What is this all about, Dad?" Jake snapped suddenly. "You know what Bella means to me. You've always known. I don't want to fight with you."

"You're not ready." Billy's voice nearly caused me to jump with the trembling sternness. I quickly grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around my head. Jacob's voice was hard. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Billy sighed heavily, "You two are sleeping together and have no regard for what could happen. Jacob Black, I've raised you better. She's probably pregnant with all this sickness you're talking about. So much has happened in the last couple of months, Jake, and to bring a child into the world at such a dangerous time is reckless…"

Jacob snorted, "Dad. Bella and I aren't having sex."

There was a pause. Billy said, "What?"

Jacob let out a dry chuckle. "You heard me, old man. We've never had sex."

Billy replied just as dryly, "Don't give me that, Jake. I was a young man once, believe it or not."

"I mean it." Jacob replied with a chuffing sound. "I would admit it if we were."

There was an awkward silence. Billy slowly asked, "Not even…?"

Jacob sighed hotly, "No, Dad. No. Thanks for reminding me."

Billy whispered, "Ah, son. It will work out. You'll see. Have faith in what you have been given. Trust in yourself."

Jacob muttered, "Sure, sure. After all, the spirits are all roses and sunshine, right? I'm sure every mutated freak like me can attest to that."

I quickly grabbed the clothes that were lying on the countertop. Slipping the slightly baggy sweatpants over my legs, I stumbled and banged my elbow on the wall. I heard a grumble from Jacob and then the rolling of Billy's wheel-chair. I rubbed my hair down and had just began brushing when I heard Jacob sigh deeply. He knocked on the bathroom door. I paused in my ministrations as a million questions were buzzing around in my head. The look on his face when I opened the door told me that he knew I had heard.

"Heard all that, did you?" He asked with a grimace.

"Maybe a bit." I replied sheepishly.

"How is your stomach feeling?" Jacob asked as he gestured to the brush.

Handing it over, I said, "Better. Let me go deal with the mess in your room."

"Already taken care of, Bells." He said as he began stroking the ends of my hair. I tensed and stared straight ahead as I waited for Jacob to snag a knot. He never did. Reaching around me with one long arm, Jacob opened a cabinet door and pulled out a bottle of spray. It smelled of citrus and coconut. He liberally sprayed my hair before running his fingers through the strands. It was then I realized his big hands were so soft and sure due entirely to his own personal experience with hair care.

"What are you thinking about?" He murmured as he brushed.

"Your hair." I blurted and blushed red like a tomato.

He chuckled, "What about my hair?"

I shrugged and mumbled, "Just that you obviously know how to take care of it more than I do. It's a bit pitiful of me, honestly."

"Your hair is beautiful." He said, "I love all your colors. When sunlight catches the strands just right, your hair turns reddish like mahogany wood. Most of the time, though, it's a rich brown. Maybe like chocolate."

We elapsed into silence. I felt the slight pull of the brush and listened to our breathing. He sighed, "Did I say too much again? That was corny, huh?"

"No." I cleared my throat and said, "I was always jealous of your hair."

"Jealous?" He asked in disbelief, "What for?"

I mumbled, "It stayed so straight and smooth. Neat, you know."

He laughed, "Except when I crawled under a car."

I smiled and replied, "Yes. Except then."

"You like that my hair was straight?" He asked with amusement, "I think straight hair is sort of boring. I like your curls. They're cute."

I blushed deeper and muttered, "Cute isn't exactly what I'm going for."

"Okay." Jacob replied promptly, "Beautiful then."

"Uh," I stammered, "I wasn't going for that, either."

"Too bad." He said, "That's the label you're stuck with."

I sighed as he gave my shoulders a quick rub. He announced, "All done."

He put his hand to the metal doorknob and hesitated. He carefully said, "Just so you know, I set the record straight with Billy. Not too sure if you caught the whole conversation, but I just wanted you to know I'm not gonna let anyone think badly of you."

"Thanks, Jake." I whispered. My feet shuffled and I suddenly realized how tiny the Blacks' bathroom really was. I was also aware that the door was shut. Jacob's dark gaze was intense and unwavering. I swallowed nervously. He quietly asked, "Did it bother you? What Billy thought of us?"

"No." I shook my head, "I've never much cared what others think of me."

A sweet, dark smile spread across his face. "Good."

I sat with Jacob at the rickety kitchen table while he gobbled down three ham sandwiches and a plate of leftover fish fry. I asked, "Do you patrol today?"

"Nope." He said, "I stick to you like glue until Sam says otherwise."

"Oh. I guess I should head home soon, so I don't upset Charlie anymore."

Jacob nodded. "Sure, sure. Let me grab clothes. I'll have to stay the night."

He insisted on being the one to drive my truck as we walked to Emily's cabin. After retrieving the keys from inside the house, Jacob climbed into the driver seat and I in the passenger. I asked, "What happens once you bring me home to Charlie?"

He glanced at me and explained, "I'll be posted outside your house, right through the tree line at the edge of your property. I won't leave."

"By yourself?" I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around my waist. One of his long arms left the steering wheel and gripped my hand. Slowly, Jacob unwrapped my hand from my waist and intertwined our fingers. I gave little resistance. His heat warmed my damp skin nicely.

Jacob said, "Once the sun sets, Quil will join me when Charlie comes home."

"I don't want you hurt, Jacob." I whispered as I squeezed his hand.

"I won't be, Bells." He soothed me, "This is what we're made for. We aren't prey for those leeches to devour. We're strong and we're something they're scared of."

I shook my head. I couldn't image Victoria being afraid of anything in the entire world, but I didn't voice my doubtful thoughts. I murmured, "Do you think she will go after Charlie?"

Jacob's body tensed and his voice came out like steel. "I'd kill her if she tried to harm him, Bells. I swear I would. I care about Charlie, too."

Nearly quivering with the thought of my innocent father being attacked by a vampire, I curled my knees up to my chest and leaned heavily on Jacob's shoulder. He adjusted his arm until it was laid across my shoulders. I breathed in his scent and opened my mouth. I hesitated for a moment and caught Jacob glancing at me.

I muttered, "Watch the road."

"What were you going to say?" Jacob asked.

"Nothing." I replied too quickly.

"Tell me." He said evenly, "I want to know."

"Will you stay outside all night?" I asked carefully.

He pulled into the driveway and flicked the ignition. The roaring truck engine died as he said, "Quil and I will be done at dawn. I would still want to stay just in case the leech decides to try her luck, but I could get some sleep once the sun rises. We've never seen a leech in the daylight. This one definitely only comes out at night or on stormy days."

I nodded absentmindedly. Jacob said, "I can stay in the forest in wolf form."

I frowned as I glanced at him. He shrugged broad shoulders and added, "To sleep, if my being in your bedroom bothers you."

"No." I mumbled as I opened the truck door and climbed out. "Just come to bed like we've been doing."

"You want me there?" He asked huskily. The tone of his voice caused me to freeze in mid-step. I nervously looked at him before nodding. Jacob gave a sudden lopsided smile. He tossed me the truck keys, which I let slip through my fingers. He laughed as I bent down and scooped them up.

"Go inside, Bells. I'll be watching. If you need me, just call my name. I'll hear you no matter how quiet you are."

I watched him walk to the edge of the treeline before I walked inside and locked the front door. After sending a text-message to Charlie, the home phone rang and I assumed it was him, though I had no clue why he wouldn't call my cellphone. It was Mrs. Newton, asking if I could take an unexpected shift in the morning. I stammered, "Oh. I-I'm sorry, but no. I have plans that can't be changed tomorrow."

After finishing an awkward conversation with my boss, I washed the few dishes in the sink. It seemed Charlie had eaten leftover chili the night before and had nothing but coffee for breakfast. Feeling guilty, I went upstairs and sat in a hot bath. I took my time with grooming and washing. Twice, despite my slow hand, I nicked my legs with a razor. Cursing, I went to my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I dabbed at the cuts with a paper towel before rubbing lotion on my legs and arms. Dropping the towel, I stepped to my dresser and slipped on undergarments. I was pulling a cotton tank top over my head when a flutter caught my attention.

Glancing out the window, I froze with my shirt mid-way down my torso. I blinked. Heat flooded my cheeks. My curtains were open, letting in the mid-morning sunlight. The window was cracked open and a crisp breeze was blowing through my bedroom. Just beyond the treeline I saw a flash of movement. Just a flash. A second in which a hulking, dark reddish-colored form had peeked from behind a large pine tree. _Jacob._ I knew without having ever seen his other form, that the massive brownish-red shape I had seen was Jacob.

I cooked an elaborate dinner that night. Beef fajita with homemade salsa and all the trimmings. For dessert, there was layered chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. I made sure to sit on the sofa and watch television with Charlie. During a commercial, I went to the kitchen and cleaned up. I brought him out a cold beer and he thanked me. I was sitting back down when he asked, "Are you trying to butter me up?"

I pressed my lips together and said, "Maybe."

"Bella," Charlie sighed and his mustache quivered as if he might smile. He said, "I'm not angry at you, kiddo. It's just that I worry when you go missing in action. Twice now, you've done so and both times I find out you're with Jake. Now, I know you two get along well and both of you are good kids. Just let a man know where you are and what you're doing. Anything can happen, do you hear me?"

I sighed, "Okay, Dad."

Charlie cleared his throat. "While we're on the subject of Jake…"

I squeaked, "Dad, please don't-"

"Well, now, Bells, I wouldn't have to ask if you'd just be honest with me."

I insisted, "I am honest with you. I've never lied."

"You think your old man doesn't know when he's been given the run around?"

I mumbled loudly, "What do you want to know?"

He cleared his throat again and blushed. "Are you two, you know, dating?"

I stuttered, "Um…"

Charlie eyed me with a frown. "Simple question, simple answer."

"You have no idea." I muttered before saying, "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Charlie asked with a cough. "Come on, Bella."

"Kind of." I sighed.

"Kind of." He echoed thoughtfully.

"I'm going to bed now." I abruptly stood up and ran up the stairs.

I laid in bed for hours. I managed to toss and turn so much so that I finally heaved a sigh and turned on a lamp. I cracked the spine of a well-loved book and read until the words blurred and my head tilted to the side.

When the bed dipped and a warm hand brushed against my cheek, I gasped and sat upright. Blinking, I rubbed my eyes and stared at Jacob. He was already wearing the sweatpants he had gathered from his house earlier in the day. His hair was wet and the smell of strawberry was strong. I mumbled, "Using my shampoo again?"

He smiled and whispered, "Maybe. Kind of."

My heart skipped a beat. I swallowed heavily and slowly laid down. Jacob waited until I was comfortably tucked under the blankets before sliding in next to me. He asked, "Do you want the lamp off?"

I shrugged and determinedly shut my eyes. A few moments of silence passed before he whispered, "Are you mad at me?"

I said nothing. Jacob sighed, "I didn't mean to see you earlier. Like that."

I still said nothing, but the blush building on my cheeks only made me angrier. I rolled away from him and stared at the bedroom door. I could see that Jacob had clicked the lock into place, so Charlie couldn't happen upon us.

"Honest, Bells." Jacob said quietly, "I smelt blood. I got worried. I had to check on you, so I came closer. It was just you accidentally cutting yourself while shaving."

There was a pause. I felt his shoulder brushing against my back. He sighed, "I didn't see you naked, if that's what you're worried about."

"You saw me mostly undressed." I snapped, "And you heard my conversation with Charlie. Those were private moments, Jacob. You snooped."

"I didn't do it on purpose." He retorted, "I can't help that I hear and smell so well now. It comes with the package of this curse."

I grumbled, "Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Don't wake me up again."

"Fine. Sorry to be such an inconvenience." Jacob said bitterly.

We broke into absolute silence. I couldn't even hear his breathing. I pressed my lips together and shut my eyes. The sound of rain hitting the roof began and I let it lull me into a slumbering state, but the claps of thunder that began minutes later only caused my heart to jump into my throat. Finally, I rolled over and faced Jacob.

He had his hands behind his head and was staring sternly at the ceiling. I reached out and tentatively ran my fingertips along his bicep. His chest moved up and down a bit faster. I whispered, "I'm sorry for overacting."

"I'm sorry for acting like an ass." He whispered back.

"You aren't an inconvenience to me, Jacob." I said, "Quite the opposite."

"Yeah?" He asked, head turning to the side and ensnaring me in a dark chocolate gaze. There was a pause. One hand reached out and cupped my cheek. Leaning into the touch, I closed my eyes and hummed under my breath.

"You're always so warm…"

"You like?" Jacob rasped lowly.

I nodded, scooting closer until my toes touched his knees. He jolted and opened his legs before trapping my toes between them. He chuckled, "Your feet are like ice."

We stayed like that for some time- one hand on my cheek and my toes between his thighs- before Jacob's thumb began to gently swipe across my bottom lip. The first time he did so, I thought it was an accident. The second time, Jacob slowed his movements to a near crawl. He caressed my lip, pressing so softly. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me. Somehow, our bodies touching was not the most intimate part of our relationship. It was our eyes. It was his eyes. The way he would look at me when I tripped over thin air. The way those orbs would dance when he laughed. The way they burned when he was angry or melted like honey when we touched.

My lips parted and hot breath fanned across his hand. Jacob let out a quiet gasp and leaned forward slowly. The space between us had been small to begin with. Now it was non-existent. Our chests were brushing against each other with every breath. Our exhales lingered. It was him who tilted his head just slightly, letting our noses rub. And it was me that turned and brushed my lips against his like the flutter of butterfly wings.

My breath hitched as Jacob followed my gentle retreat, pressing his lips against mine with a soft smacking sound. Once. Twice. Three times. I watched his throat move as he swallowed heavily. He pulled back ever so slightly. A dark mocha stare was all I saw. In that split-second of time, I tried to remember the feel of his fleeting lips. Warm. Hot. Smooth and full. Leaning forward, my eyes closed and I pressed our mouths together more firmly.

Jacob's arms came around my waist, holding tightly. He parted his lips, tilted his head, and liquid heat flooded my body as his tongue flicked at my bottom lip. I froze for a moment, stunned at the sudden taste and warm wetness. Thumbs began sweeping across my lower back. I followed Jacob's movements, copying the slide and slip of his mouth on mine. When he bent down, nuzzling my neck, I gasped for breath. He hummed while placing soft kisses along my bare collarbone. I squeaked, blushing hotly, as my hands curled around the nape of his neck. Jacob paused before pressing more open-mouthed kisses. I tilted my head back, exposing the column of my throat to his eager movements. He must have noticed because he gladly trailed kisses up my throat and to my chin.

This continued for some time. Soft and slow and sweet. My eyes began to droop and my uneven breath grew deep and measured. Jacob chuckled and whispered, "Going to sleep on me, Bells? Goodnight, honey. See you in the morning."


	20. Chapter Nineteen

The next morning, we woke to a loud tapping on the bedroom window. Jacob's snores cut off abruptly and he sat up, arms held out as if he were protecting me from bodily harm. I blinked, heart pounding in my throat, as I took in the blurry image of dark colors through the window. Jacob swore under his breath and threw the window open. Hanging from the sill was a tall, broad male with russet skin and dark hair. It took my sleep-muddled brain a minute for me to realize it was Embry.

He said, "It's bad, Jake. We need you. Sam sent me to get you because you weren't answering the phone."

"What happened?" Jacob asked quickly. He turned back to the bed, leaned over, and kissed me on the forehead as Embry replied, "The leech got to the border nearest the Clearwater house. Harry saw her. He fell into a heart attack."

"Jesus Christ." Jacob swore again and pulled away from me. I was already up and stumbling around, pulling a pair of jeans from my dresser, and slipping them up my legs. Jacob said, "Bella, I have to go. See you later. Stay home for me, okay? Quil is on the way to watch over you."

"Wait, wait." I cried out, "I'm going to the hospital. Charlie is bound to be there with Harry, right?"

"They don't think he's going to make it, Bella." Embry explained, "We have to deal with Seth and Leah. They've Phased. It's bad. Real bad. Leah took a chunk out of Paul and Sam nearly had to kill her to make her submit to him."

_"Leah?"_ Jacob exclaimed before swearing again. "Shit. Let's go. Bella, head to the hospital. When you're done at the hospital, head to my house. Quil will be on you the whole time. We don't know where the redhead is, but she seems to be upping the ante. Try to keep close to Charlie, so you'll both be protected."

I nodded and stumbled forward to wrap him in a hug. I heard the muffled thump of Embry dropping easily from the window. I whispered, "Be safe."

"You, too." Jacob murmured as he kissed the top of my head. I watched as he threw himself out of the window before I changed my shirt and hurriedly brushed my teeth. I was knotting my hair atop my head when my cellphone rang. I answered, "Charlie? Dad? Yeah. Yeah. I just heard. I'm coming to the hospital."

I scooped my keys up off of my desk and bounded down the stairs. I paused at the front door and whispered, "What? Oh, no. I'm coming, Dad. I'll be there soon."

The drive to Forks General Hospital was a blank space in my mind. I worried for Harry's now widowed wife, Sue. I worried for the two people who had just lost their father and was currently being beaten over the head with the fact that a supernatural world existed. In fact, they were a part of it. They were supernatural. I worried for Jacob and how the impact of two new wolves would affect him. As I sat silently beside Charlie on an uncomfortable chair in the lobby of the hospital, I worried for my own father. I worried about his state of mind. I worried about his health. I worried about losing him to a heart attack. After all, Harry and Charlie had been friends since they were teenagers. They fished together. Watched sports games together. Had cook outs together. And ate entirely too much unhealthy food.

Time passed like a dull, dragging pulse. Nurses came by regularly to give Charlie a cup of coffee and a sweet smile. Twice, a doctor came out and spoke to Charlie by name. They whispered aplenty. I tried not to notice the shine in Charlie's eyes as he excused himself to the bathroom down the hall. When he returned, his face was splotchy and his eyes bloodshot. After a while, Charlie took a call and came to tell me Billy was on the way. Sue Clearwater had come out of a specific hospital room shortly after. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but her lips were pressed firmly together as if she were holding herself together by a thread. She walked evenly toward Charlie and accepted the awkward hug he gave. Sue calmly leaned against the wall. When Billy and several other tribal members had showed up, it was midday. Of them all, the oldest and most withered seemed vaguely familiar to me.

I waited until all five men, along with Sue, went into the hospital room and shut the door before I turned to Charlie. "Who was the oldest man?"

"Old Quil." Charlie replied with a rough voice. "It's the younger Quil's grandfather. He leads the tribe alongside Billy."

Billy wheeled himself out of the room sometime later with Sue at his side. A doctor entered the room while a nurse handed over a pile of paperwork. She spoke softly for a moment. Billy nodded and quietly said, "I'll bring the file to you once Sue here has finished with it, mam."

The nurse nodded and politely excused herself. Billy gently touched Sue's elbow and began wheeling. She followed him toward the small lobby area. I had counted the white ceiling tiles and seafoam green floor tiles at least a dozen times throughout the day. Billy nodded soberly to me before gently saying, "Sit down, Sue."

The woman did so with a hitching sigh. She sniffled once and slowly took the crumpled tissue Charlie offered. She blew her nose and muttered, "Thanks, Charlie."

"O'course, Susie." He mumbled and pulled a pen out of his pocket when it became clear the one in Sue's hand was no good. Charlie went back to staring at his shoes. I tore my eyes away from Sue's hunched over form. This woman was nothing like the vivacious woman who made chili and hot dogs at cook outs. My eyes watered, so I blinked rapidly. Glancing, I caught Billy looking in my direction. I offered a feeble smile, which he returned. Charlie was mumbling, pointing at the paperwork while Sue was nodding absentmindedly.

Billy said, "Why don't you show me where that coffee pot is, Bells?"

"Sure, sure." I whispered and stood up. Slowly, Billy wheeled himself after me. We turned the corner of the hallway just as he whispered, "Heard from Jake."

I immediately asked, "He's okay? How's Seth and Leah?"

"Seth seems to be dealing better than Leah. From what I was told by Sam, half the pack is patrolling. Sam himself is keeping Seth calm. Jacob is out in the woods with Leah, trying to talk her down. She's refusing to shift back."

"Shift back?" I whispered, eyes darting around to make sure we were alone. I bit my lip and asked, "Is it possible for them to…to get stuck like that?"

"Not permanently, according to our legends." Billy said, "Sam was in his spirit form for nearly a month before he managed to Phase back. Jared took ten days. Paul took about the same. Embry and Quil each spent two weeks in spirit form. The body becomes accustomed to the power quickly, but the mind takes time to catch up."

"Weeks?" I slowly asked, "But, Jake…"

I trailed off into silence. Billy waited patiently as I explained, "I saw him a week and a half after he transformed. He was human."

"Jacob is a natural." Billy explained solemnly. "He has the blood of our most powerful ancestors running through his veins, so he learns quickly. My son was born for this."

I swallowed heavily and said, "He doesn't want it."

"I know that." Billy nodded, "And yet he has no choice. Not as long as there are Cold Ones around. His body, mind, and soul will respond to the threat every time."

"But…" I asked quietly, "…He can stop. He can stop Phasing if there were no more vampires in town?"

"Yes." Billy nodded, "Yes. Vampires are what trigger the change, all those hormones and rage. The smell of a Cold One's venom calls forth the Protector."

I swallowed heavily and nodded. Eyes so eerily similar to Jacob's stared back at me. Billy said, "He would die for you. To keep you save, Jacob would do anything."

As Billy wheeled himself away, I stared at seafoam green tiles once more. A long time crept by before I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket. I scrolled through my call log and looked at all the times Jacob's name popped up. The only other person I ever seemed to receive calls from was Charlie. Occasionally Renee.

Biting my lip, I slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. Setting my wallet beside the sink, I dug passed library cards and old receipts. A small piece of yellow paper was at the very bottom. Slowly, I unfolded it and stared at the elegant, swooping writing. Numbers. Just numbers written on an old scrap of paper. I had forgotten about it during my comatose months. Afterward, with Jacob and the garage and dirt bikes, I still had not remembered this little scrap of paper.

It wasn't until a few weeks before, during my restless and panicked time without Jacob, that I had found a yellow piece of paper folded up in the bottom of my wallet. I had told myself to throw it away, but had been unable to do so. Now, I was tremendously grateful for my hesitation. My fingers shook as I dialed. Twice I had to restart. I pressed CALL and waited with baited breath. I knew, even as I hoped desperately, that my plan was a horrible shot in the dark.

The phone rang four times before a crisp, clear voice answered. "Hello?"

"Alice…" I breathed and felt my breath hitch. "Oh, God. Alice."

"Hey, Bella." She spoke sadly and it sounded like pure poetry.

"I can't believe you answered." I whispered and wiped at the silent tears burning my eyes. I sniffled as she said, "I shouldn't have."

"Look," I cleared my throat and ran my hand through my hair. I stared at my reflection as I quickly explained, "I know none of you want to speak with me. I wouldn't have contacted you if this wasn't important. I need your help. I've let things play out and that was the wrong decision. It's too dangerous. Victoria is here. She's killed someone and she's trying to get to me. She could kill Charlie next."

"You have seen her?" Alice's voice was quick and as sharp as a whip. She rapidly asked, "Have you seen her with your own eyes? Who has she killed?"

"A man named Harry Clearwater. He's from the Rez. From La Push. He's a friend of Charlie's. No. I haven't personally seen her, but I _know_ she's here, Alice."

"How can you be sure a vampire attack killed this man?"

"Because other people saw her. They witnessed. Other people are tracking her."

"Vampires? You are in association with other vampires?"

"No, no. Not vampires. Wolves. Protectors. They call themselves Protectors."

"Wolves." Alice breathed. Rapid clicking and murmured voices echoed through the speaker. They were speaking so quickly that I couldn't follow their conversation. Alice suddenly said, "We're coming to you, Bella. Where are you now?"

"The hospital." I replied, "Charlie is here to help Harry's family."

"Go to La Push. Go there and try to bring Charlie along."

"Okay. I planned to do that, anyway."

"The dogs will keep her at bay, but listen to me carefully, Bella. Wolves are no friends to you. Do you understand me? They are volatile and far more dangerous than a vampire when angered. Stay at La Push until I call you."

"O-Okay." I stuttered, biting my lip. The line went dead. I stared at my reflection and thought of Jacob. It wasn't until there was a brisk knock on the bathroom door that I jolted. Unlocking the door, I apologized and ducked away from a curious nurse. I found Charlie in the same place I had left him. Without a word, I snatched the plastic cup out of his hand and tossed it in the trash. He questioned dully, "Bella?"

"No more coffee." I stated. "Let's head to the Rez."

"Yeah." Charlie sighed, "Yeah. They won't release…his body until morning. Billy and Sue just went to turn in the paperwork. She wants to get back to her kids."

I nodded and said, "I heard from Jake. They're a mess. He and some of the other boys are with Seth and Leah now. Um, Jake will need me. He's upset."

"Yeah." Charlie croaked and wiped at his face. He reached out and gave me a one-armed hug. "Let's head over there."

I drove behind Charlie's cruiser. The rain was beginning to pick up its pace and we both had to drive much slower than normal. My heart was beating nearly out of control and I hoped Victoria wouldn't jump out onto the road. If she did use the storm and clouds to her advantage, I prayed that she would snatch me out of my truck and leave Charlie alive.

When we reached the turning point of the Rez, I let out a sigh in relief. We were just parking when a battered truck pulled in behind us. Charlie rushed over to help Sue with Billy's wheel-chair. I walked beside them and pushed on the warped front door of the Blacks' house. All three adults were quiet as I retrieved towels from under the bathroom sink. Each began rubbing at their hair and faces.

Wordlessly, I turned to the kitchen and set a battered tea kettle on the stovetop. I stared blankly at the chipped countertop until the kettle whistled. I poured four cups of steaming water and added tea bags. Spooning in a bit of sugar into three of the cups, I took a glance in the living room. Sue was sitting on the sofa with her fingers digging into the fabric. Charlie was looking out of a window while pacing. Billy was glancing between Charlie and Sue frequently.

I passed Billy the sugar free cup and then handed out the rest. Billy murmured, "Thank you, Bella."

Sue simply nodded and wrapped her fingers around the mug as if it wasn't piping hot. I wondered if she could even feel it. The conversation with Alice replayed in my head on a constant loop. With shaking hands, I opened cabinet doors. I pulled out flour and a half a jar of peanut butter. I pawed through the refrigerator, wincing when I realized there was very little inside. A massive casserole dish was half-empty. I had given a cornbread and beef dish to Jacob a few days before. I wondered if that was what Billy had been eating on every day since.

I mixed and stirred until I had a dozen peanut butter cookies baking in the oven. I found little ingredients to cook with, but managed a questionable chicken and rice dish. I was standing over the stove, whisking a sauce, when the front door opened. Jacob and Embry walked in. Both went to Sue, kneeling down and bowing their heads. My hand slowly fell still and I watched as each whispered in a foreign tongue. Their words mixed perfectly with each other and their pitch was low like one would be when chanting. I realized, belatedly, that Jacob was praying.

Sue was crying softly as she kissed first Jacob and then Embry's heads. She whispered, "Thank you. Thank you both."

Jacob murmured, "Em will take you to Seth and Leah. They'll be okay, Sue."

With that, Embry gently took Sue by the arm and lead her out of the house. The door shut with a muffled thump. Charlie cleared his throat and tossed himself onto the sofa Sue had just vacated. Jacob stood up and looked to Billy. "Any news, son?"

"None. Same as ever." Jacob replied as he stalked across the small room and entered the kitchen. He was barefoot and had no shirt. There was mud streaking his chest and legs. There was a dark spot along his temple that looked like a bruise. He came close enough to me that I could smell pine, rain, and faint spices.

He said, "Smells good."

I nodded and mutedly replied, "It will be ready in about thirty minutes."

He asked quietly, "How did you find anything to cook in this house?"

I shrugged. "Determination, I guess."

Jacob opened his mouth to speak, but Billy interrupted. "Don't you think you should clean up and change clothes, Jake?"

"Yeah," Charlie grumbled, "Maybe put on a shirt."

Jacob sighed, "Sure, sure. Be right back, Bells."

I finished cooking and set out four settings of food. As I was pouring cups of cold water, Jacob sauntered in with cut-off denim and a faded T-shirt. He was still barefoot. I watched as he swiped a handful of cookies and shoved them into his mouth. He crunched enthusiastically. I raised my eyebrows and said, "You should eat dinner before dessert, Jake."

"Where's the fun in that?" He asked and dropped into a rickety chair. It creaked so loudly that I was afraid it would break under his weight.

"Dinner is ready, Dad. Billy." I said before sitting down beside Jacob. He was already spooning chicken and rice into his mouth. I whispered, "Hungry much?"

"Starving." He said promptly. We were all quiet as we ate. I mostly picked at my plate, but I was glad to see Charlie finish his portion. Jacob helped himself to seconds and then gave what remained to Billy after Charlie declined another helping. I watched Jacob eat his second helping before he took his and Billy's dishes to the sink. He shoved two more cookies in his mouth as he messily washed the soiled dishes.

I stood to help him. We were elbow to elbow. Only once the TV clicked on and an announcer began speaking did I lean closer to Jacob. "What happened?"

"They Phased. It was a disaster. Seth calmed down enough in the end. He slept outside under the porch at Emily's for hours. Leah is another matter."

I bit my lip and asked, "What? What happened with her?"

"She…Jeez, Bella. She's really messed up. Leah and Sam were together before he Phased. She is in love with Sam even after all this time, but he's moved on with Emily. She's hurt and we all felt it. Memories of them together, ya know, intimate, keep playing out. She can't seem to stop it. There are no secrets when it comes to our pack mind. We see each other's thoughts and hopes and…everything. Leah was definitely close to Harry and losing her dad came so suddenly. Now, she finds out she's a wolf and a leech is the reason her dad is dead."

Jacob sighed, "She's crazy. She bites anyone who comes near. She's a danger to herself and others for sure. I was on watch with her all day. Quil took over now that you and Charlie are in our territory."

I was silent for a long time as I began drying the clean plates as he handed them to me. I whispered, "She's distraught, Jacob. She's scared and angry and confused. Having Sam, someone she loves and has been rejected by, just sifting through her mind is a form of invasion. If what you say is true, then she sees that Sam loves another woman. A woman who is related to her no less. Not only that, but Leah just lost her dad. He's dead. Forever."

"I know all that." Jacob sighed, "That's why I stayed with her."

I was leaning up to put away the plates in the cupboard when Jacob's chest brushed against my back. One hand took the stack of plates and slipped them into their place while the other hand wrapped around my hip. I gasped quietly.

He leaned down and murmured, "Walk out to the porch with me?"

I nodded and he released me, taking all the blistering heat with him. Jacob walked to the door and wordlessly went outside. I nervously wiped down the countertop, glancing once at Charlie, who seemed to be focused on the TV. I followed Jacob out the house and shut the door as quietly as possible.

I barely had time to turn around before Jacob was pulling me to his chest. He petted the top of my head and brushed his nose against my ear gently. "Missed you."

"I'm just glad you're okay." I whispered on a tired sigh.

"Today sucked, but it's better when I see you." He said as he continued to cradle me against him. His nose was tickling my ear and occasionally his soft lips grazed my earlobe. My heart was beating too fast. I swallowed noisily.

"My dad is right inside, Jake."

"I know…" He whispered right before kissing below my ear. When I didn't yank away, Jacob slowly took my lobe between his teeth and gently bit. My fingers dug into his shoulders and my breath released shakily. A hot tongue flicked just behind my ear and then Jacob was nibbling his way across my chin and to my mouth.

I moaned lowly, but it was muffled as his lips met mine. This kiss was fierce and swift and so sudden. Nothing beyond the first peck was gentle. His hands were hard and big and digging into my lower back, pressing me roughly against him. Lips and teeth and tongue met wildly. I didn't know what I was doing, but I didn't stop. My heart was thundering in my ears and all I felt was full lips and hot tongue and rumbles vibrating through his broad chest as he pressed me up against the side of the house. Rough wood scratched at me and dampness soaked through the back of my shirt. Still, Jacob's hands were tugging until they were under fabric. Calloused fingertips kneaded at my bare skin, heating me thoroughly. His weight secured me and kept the crisp night air from touching me.

My hands gripped at his bare shoulders, fingernails scraping as he began to rock against me. Breathlessly, I tore my mouth from his and banged my head against the side of the house. Looking up at the dark sky, I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as Jacob's tongue and lips molded themselves against my throat. Again and again and again. His hips rhythmically pushed and pulled beautifully against my own. His harsh breathing caused heat to pool in my stomach. When my shaky legs gave out, Jacob moved like a lightning strike. He had one hand banded around my waist while the other held my bottom. His lips never stopped roaming deliciously over my throat and down to my collarbones. Impatiently, Jacob used his chin to nudge the fabric of my shirt away.

He began to suck and bite gently at my skin. Sensitive, I jumped and trembled in his arms. This angle meant Jacob could no longer _move_ against me as I wanted him to. Shyly, I raised my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He shifted the arm that had been around my bottom. Now, his fingers circled one of my ankles and held it in place at his waist. The rumble in his chest grew louder. He lapped at the side of my neck. I tilted my head and then he was at my lips again. Tongue tracing my bottom lip and hot breath puffing against my mouth. I parted my lips and took him in. I felt, more than heard, the groan that echoed through both of our mouths as we slid against each other.

Just as abruptly as we had begun, we stopped. Jacob yanked away from me, letting my legs drop to the ground quickly and heavily. He stepped out of reach, holding out a trembling arm to catch at my elbow and steady me. I looked at him, eyes wide and mouth parted, as I panted. "Jake?"

"Charlie." He rasped and let go of my arm. "He's about to walk out the door."

And then the front door opened. Jacob was leaning against the porch railing. His breathing was much more controlled than mine, but I saw the dark flush in his cheeks despite the night. I hoped Charlie couldn't see either of our faces very well.

He eyed both of us as I looked at the ground. Charlie sighed, "Let's go home."

I glanced at Jacob, who nodded. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and slowly walked down the drive. Charlie waited for me, but I shook my head. "I'll be right there, Dad."

Charlie nodded before walking away and getting into the cruiser. He started the engine just as Jacob said, "I'll follow you home. I'll stay on guard."

"They don't need you here tonight?" I asked.

"There's seven wolves to protect the Rez now. Leah may be out of her mind, but she's faster than all of us and pretty strong. My job is to protect you, Bells."

I bit my bottom lip before leaning forward and hugging him. I hesitated before saying, "We have to talk. Meet me in my room, okay?"

"Sure, sure." He rasped, squeezing me tighter and kissing the side of my head. Reluctantly, Jacob let me go and stepped back. He offered a half-smile and a wave. As I drove home, tears blurred my vision.

I sat in my truck for a long moment even after Charlie had parked his cruiser and went inside. Every time I tried to tell myself to go inside, I found that I couldn't because I knew what I had to do once I reached my bedroom. I knew who would be waiting for me and what I would have to confess. And I knew exactly how Jacob would react to my confession.

Wiping at my eyes, I mounted the porch steps and entered the house. I climbed the staircase and closed my bedroom door behind me. I tried not to hear water running in the bathroom just across the hallway. Tried not to think of Charlie's red-rimmed eyes and wobbly voice from earlier in the day. Most of all, I tried not to think of Jacob, which was impossible.

He sat on the edge of my bed wearing cut-off denims and no shirt. It seemed between La Push and Forks he had lost that particular article of clothing. Jacob was frowning and his hands were fisted over his knees. "Why are you crying, Bells?"

I dropped my keys on the desk and crossed my arms over my chest. As carefully as I could, I sat down in the chair. I swallowed heavily. "You're going to be mad."

He sighed, "If you're trying to tell me you're not ready…it's okay. I understand. Maybe I pushed too hard earlier. I thought you liked it. Didn't mean to upset you."

I cleared my throat and shook my head. "Not…that."

"What then?" Jacob asked as the frown deepened. It was his eyes that truly bothered me. Liquid fear was beginning to coat them.

"Bella? What are you talking about?"

I whispered, "I did what I think is best to keep you alive and out of harm's way, Jake."

His brows were drawn together and his expression showed weariness and confusion. I bit my lip. Jacob's jaw began to tighten.

"What did you _do,_ Bella?"

I swallowed the lump of emotions threatening to choke me. I said, "I did what I could. I got help for you and the pack."

"Bella." Jacob slowly stated, "Tell me what you mean."

I whispered, "I called Alice Cullen. They're going to help hunt Victoria."

Jacob's face went lax. His dark gaze went flat. He croaked, "You did what?"

I stammered, "I-I called Alice Cullen. The Cullens know so much about killing vampires, especially Jasper. I know they can help, Jake."

"Isabella," The sound of my given name rolling off of his lips felt like a slap in the face. I jolted as Jacob surged to his feet. He towered over me and barked, "Tell me that you're lying. Tell me that you're just messing around. Tell me right now."

The tears oozed from the corners of my eyes. I slowly shook my head and watched Jacob's own eyes fill with tears. His body began to shake and he took a giant step backwards. He snarled, "How could you do that to me, Bella? How could you ask those demon-sucking bastards for anything? How could you bring them back here? My job is to keep them away from this place, Bella."

"I didn't want to upset you, but they can kill her. They can end Victoria and everything can go back to how it was before. You won't have to Phase anymore."

Jacob clenched his fist, sneered at me, and crudely said, "I'm a predator. Even if I stopped Phasing, I'll always be a predator to _them._ I'm made to kill vampires. I'm made to kill your leech buddies. And that's exactly what I'll do if I see them anywhere near me or my brothers or _you_."

"Jacob, _please,"_ I wept as he turned his back to me and slammed my window upward. I watched in hysterias as the glass panel cracked all the way across. "Don't leave. Jake, don't do this. I swear that they'll help. They just want to help…"

The sound of running water and squeaking knobs abruptly cut off. I heard Charlie call out, "Bella? Are you okay? I heard a thump. Did you fall?"

I swallowed and shouted, "I'm okay, Dad."

Jacob gave me one last look of contempt before throwing himself out into the night. When I heard the thump of his weight landing on the ground, I rushed to the window and looked down. He was stalking to the back part of Charlie's property. He stripped his shorts off. All I saw was a glimpse of russet skin before he lunged through the brush. I heard an awfully loud sound like ripping fabric. And then I slid to the floor and sat silently.


	21. Chapter Twenty

Just an hour after dawn, my cellphone rang. Charlie had long since left to head to La Push in order to help Sue and Billy handle Harry's affairs. My dry eyes itched. My nose was hot and raw. Much earlier, I had smelled the strong odor of coffee and heard the muffled hit of Charlie's boots on the old floorboards. He left without knocking on my bedroom door at half past five.

Eventually, I turned to look at the cracks zig-zagging across my bedroom window. A flash of heated anger and dark, burning eyes had me sighing. The shrill shriek of my cellphone had me bolting upright in bed. Fumbling, I reached for the phone and took two deep breaths before answering.

"Hello?"

"Bella." Alice's voice was a soft sound of wind chimes. I bit my lip as she said, "We've just reached the state. We should be at our old home in a few minutes. Could you meet us there? Do we need to come to you?"

"No, no." I replied quickly, "I'll come to you. Just give me twenty minutes."

Her voice was smooth and flawless as she asked, "Are you in La Push?"

"No. I'm at home, but don't come here." I croaked.

There was a pause and cool whispers. Alice said crisply, "Get to us as soon as possible. Carlisle and Jasper will be monitoring the section of highway closest to our house in order to scent Victoria. Esme and I will be waiting for you. Do you remember the way or do you need directions?"

I swallowed and muttered, "I remember."

Ending the call, I took a moment to wrap my arms around myself. My chest was heaving and no matter how much I inhaled, my lungs felt restricted. Flashing images of memories flew through my head. Bronze hair and golden eyes and porcelain skin. I gagged and shoved my fist into my mouth for a moment. When the feeling subsided, I stood up on wobbly legs and pawed through my dresser. I dressed hastily in the dark and ran to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and hair, I grabbed my keys and cellphone.

Shoving my feet into my boots, I stumbled outside and to my truck. I sent Charlie a text message, telling him I was going to visit Angela and would see him later in the day. Hesitantly, my thumb hovered over Jacob's phone number. Sighing, I shoved the phone into my back pocket. Blinking back tears, I hopped in the truck and cranked the engine. It roared to life and I was off.

The familiar winding road was comforting at first, but then the houses and buildings grew sparse until there were none left to be seen. My foot eased off of the accelerator unconsciously. The trees were my only companions, lining the roads and towering over me. The early morning sky was dark gray and from the way the treetops swayed, I knew a storm was coming. My chest and heart were moving unevenly as if I couldn't catch my breath. Biting my lip, I wiped at my eyes with one hand and then sped up. My eyes stayed glued to the left side of the road as I sickly anticipated seeing the hidden turn off.

The narrowed road was just as I remembered it: rocky, curvy, and long. Stunning trees were bent low, creating a type of green canopy that made me feel incredibly isolated. Still, I drove on. The trees suddenly opened up into a small clearing. There was a white-gravel circular drive and a three-story home made entirely of glass on one side. The white-washed walls, gray trim, and delicate wrought-iron work were all the same. The expensive, slick black car in the driveway looked the same. And the two women, one short and the other tall, one with black hair and the other with auburn, were the same. Exactly the same. Elegant. Beautiful. Flawless.

Swallowing heavily, I killed the engine and slowly climbed out of the truck. Although they were fairly far away, I could see their faces clearly. Esme was offering a soft smile. As my head turned to take in Alice's expression, I jolted and let out a gasp. Within one blink of my eye, Alice was standing in front of me. Her expression was concerned. A small furrow was between her perfectly arched eyebrows. Golden eyes made me dizzy with surrealism. She sighed, "Oh, Bella. Are you okay?"

"Not…really." I said in a halting voice. I cleared my throat and slipped my hands into my pocket. I tried to meet her golden eyes, but found that I couldn't. Esme moved slower than Alice, but still moved much too quickly. The mother of the Cullen family whispered, "I'm so sorry for this, Bella. We should have dealt with the problem before we left. I assure you that we will take care of Victoria for you."

"It isn't your fault, Esme." I replied quietly as I glanced to my left. Two pale blurs suddenly appeared from the forest. One was slim with white-blonde hair slicked back. The other was taller with curly honeycomb hair falling past his ears. Both had striking golden eyes, too.

"Bella." Carlisle said softly with a smile. "I am relieved beyond measure to see you well. I, too, must apologize on my family's behalf."

"It's okay." I replied awkwardly. "Her actions aren't your fault."

"Nevertheless," Carlisle sighed, "I can't help but feel responsible."

"Come inside, Bella." Alice said as Jasper came to her side. He hovered at her elbow. I watched him as his sharp eyes scanned our surroundings.

"Okay." I mumbled and followed on her heels. I noticed that both Carlisle and Esme walked easily beside me while Alice stayed in front of me and Jasper stayed directly behind me.

Once inside, Alice brought me to a sitting room. Most of the furniture was still in place. The colors and artwork remained the same. Esme flickered in a blur of colors and disappeared into the kitchen. Alice sat across from me on a pristine cream-colored sofa. Jasper remained standing near the full-length window. His eyes darted from his wife to me to the window repeatedly. I could smell dust in the air.

Carlisle sat beside Alice and quietly said, "Pardon me for speaking so abruptly, but time is of the essence. May you tell us what has been happening since we left Forks, Bella? Anything you know will be of aid to us."

I swallowed and nodded. "I don't have much to say. I'm not sure exactly when Victoria came to Forks. She attacked Harry Clearwater yesterday morning, but I know that the Protectors were chasing, or hunting, her and Laurent beforehand."

"Laurent?" Carlisle asked, "He is here as well?"

I said, "They killed him. I'm not sure when, but it was within the last month."

Carlisle shook his head and sadly said, "He was trying our way of life. He was becoming involved with the Denali family. We had thought…"

There was an awkward silence before I whispered, "Red eyes. He had red eyes."

"Who does your information come from, Bella?" Jasper asked suddenly.

I glanced at him and slowly said, "Those in La Push. My friend, Jacob, to be specific."

"Jacob is a member of the pack of werewolves?" Alice asked carefully.

"Yes." I nodded and added, "That's why I had to call you all. They're running themselves into the ground trying to catch her. Jacob says she's incredibly fast. He doesn't say so, but I don't think they can't keep going like they're going."

"What do you mean, Bella?" Carlisle asked softly.

"Well," I cleared my throat and mumbled, "They run in shifts all hours of the night and day. They never quit. There's no time for anything else. I mean, Jacob's life is completely turned upside down. I assume that the rest of them are the same."

"Do you interact with any shape-shifter beyond Jacob?" Alice asked with an odd look on her face. I frowned and slowly said, "Sometimes. I'm friends with others."

Carlisle nodded before saying, "I will have to make contact with the leader of the pack. I have a phone number for their Chief, Billy Black. Allow me to do that now."

"Oh, God." I muttered and put my head between my knees. I sucked as much air as I could. Carlisle knelt beside me and put a cold hand to my back. He whispered, "You're safe, Bella. Take slow, evenly measured breaths."

"Maybe I can talk to Billy for you." I said as I sat up. Carlisle frowned and asked, "You are familiar with the Chief of the Quileute people?"

"Yes." I croaked. Esme came into the room and offered a cold glass of lemonade. Slowly, I took the glass and whispered my thanks. Alice shared a glance with Jasper before she faced me and said, "There are two dogs heading our way."

"Do _not_ panic or attack." Carlisle said swiftly and evenly. "We will greet them out on the porch. We have not made contact as soon as we should have. They're investigating. They will find no ill-will with us. Jasper, understood?"

"Oh, no. Oh, no." I chanted quietly as I stood up abruptly. The glass would have fallen out of my hand had Esme not caught it with stunning reflexes. My heart was pounding in my ears as I stumbled out of the room. Alice snatched at my elbow and I winced as she jerked me to a stop. Her eyes were wide as she said, "Stay at our side. Bella, just stay close and calm. Carlisle will settle things with the wolves."

"They won't hurt me." I said as I pulled at my throbbing arm. Alice slowly released me as Esme quietly reprimanded, "Alice…"

All five of us stood on the porch. Jasper stood in front of Alice, Esme, and myself. His arms were held out and his hands were curled like claws. Carlisle stood on the bottom step of the porch. His stance was tall and loose. His hands were calmly hanging at his sides.

Carlisle asked, "How far out are the wolves, Jasper?"

"Right at a mile." The man answered steely.

"I believe so, too." Esme agreed tensely.

"They will be here in twenty seconds." Alice said quickly.

"How many?" Esme asked with a tremble in her voice.

"Two for sure." Jasper replied roughly, "Maybe a third."

"One has a distinct scent." Esme said.

"Yes. The Alpha, I think." Carlisle murmured thoughtfully.

"Sam?" I squeaked, "Sam is coming here?"

"I'm unsure." Carlisle sighed, "All of you remain still and quiet, please."

I took a deep breath and glanced at Esme as she gasped. When I turned back to the tree line, my jaw nearly dropped. My eyes widened the slightest bit, but I pushed away the tiny part of my mind screaming that none of this could be real. Before me, slinking through the trees and shadows, I saw three pairs of glowing eyes. One dark green. One hazel. The third pair were magnets that I was pulled toward like gravity. What caught my attention was a mocha gaze that I knew better than my own name. My breath hitched. "Jake…"

A strange whining like that of a dog came from the shadows. I knew it was Jacob. I tore my eyes away from his massive, canine shadow and glanced at a growling, snarling, unbelievably large and angry chocolate brown wolf that came barreling through the brush. It rose up, standing impossibly tall. My heart beat at my ribcage, probably causing internal bruising from its persistence. This beast was wider than I was tall. Its bulk and height boggled the mind. A hysterical thought flittered through my stunned mind: _They were as big as my truck, if not bigger._

Another wolf leapt out of the shadows. It was slighter of stature than the other and covered in a dark pelt the color of iron. Both let out a deep, bass-filled growl that made my skin shiver. My entire body shook in fear of the mortal enemies standing only small yards apart. The chocolate wolf snarled, his hazel eyes glowing brightly in the middle of the night. And then I realize who these two beasts really were. Green eyes. Embry. Hazel eyes. Quil.

Carlisle spoke clearly and loudly from beside me, "Gentlemen, we wish none of you harm. We have not and will not break the treaty your ancestors set in place with us. We are here to take care of unfinished business, and then we will be on our way."

There were more rumbling, bass-deep growls. More rustling of massive paws. The two looked to be forming some sort of pattern. I tried swallowing and found that my throat was too tight to work properly. I wondered where Jacob had disappeared to. Although I had no proof, I knew with a conviction that neither of the wolves were Jacob. The dark chocolate eyes I had seen and the glimpse of russet fur deep within the trees had been my Jacob. A flash of the last time I saw him came to my mind. He had been so angry and hurt and _betrayed._ What had I done to him?  
I made eye contact with the calmer of the two wolves standing in front of the Cullen house. Its dark green eyes were slightly different from Embry's human eyes. Brighter, somehow. Larger and wider and sharper. And yet, they were the same. Embry's eyes held intelligence like the glint of a knife no matter if he was a werewolf or human.

I tried swallowing again and murmured, "I'll walk away from the porch. They might calm down if I'm not in close contact with all of you."

I locked my muscles in place for fear that I might collapse into a million pieces otherwise. Then, I took a sure footstep away from Jasper. When he didn't try to stop me, I continued forward. My heart was in my throat, but I watched my feet move down the steps as if they had a mind of their own. I was brushing past Carlisle's still form when Alice flew forward. She gripped my arm and gasped, "Bella, no! Can't you see how animalistic and crazed these things are?"

I winced at the vice grip she held my upper arm in _and_ at the sudden earsplitting snarl from deep within the shadows. My head snapped up and I saw Embry and Quil snap their jaws menacingly. The echoing clack of their teeth had me shivering. I shakily said, "They won't hurt me, Alice."

A sudden booming voice echoed off of the treetops like the sound of an avalanche. "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER, LEECH!"

And then a very human Jacob came charging out of the tree line. His chest was glistening with sweat. Dirt was smudged across his arms and legs and neck. His face was contorted in utter outrage and his muscles bulged across his body as if he were straining with all of his might. Tendons looked like tightly bound ropes beneath his skin. My breath hitched and my jaw went lax. Jacob radiated power and hostile poise. As he stalked forward, I was nearly mesmerized by the graceful and lethal way in which he moved. And it was then I realized there was not an ounce of fear in his dark glare. His eyes were on Alice's fingers wrapped around my arm. I demanded, "Jacob, stop! _Alice._ You have to let go of me."

Carlisle very slowly reached forward and yanked Alice away from me. I stumbled once as the tight hold on my arm was suddenly loosened. I tottered slightly on the edge of the stairs. Jacob flew forward in a startling blur of colors. His warm body engulfed me and then he lunged away. Suddenly, we were standing at the treeline with two hulking, snarling beasts surrounding us.

I felt his nostrils flaring against the top of my head. Warm breath fluttered across my face. A quick glance showed the arching backs of both wolves towering over my form. Even standing flat-footed, I couldn't see over the wolves' tall forms. Jacob kissed my hairline and murmured, "Did she hurt you, Bella?"

"No." I whispered breathlessly, "She's just trying to help. That's all they're doing, Jake. You have to believe me. Carlisle was just about to call your dad and tell him they were in town. They want to _help_ kill Victoria."

Jacob tightly held me against his chest again and wrapped his arms around me so that I couldn't struggle out of his hold. I pulled against him and pushed at his broad chest. Jacob growled lowly, "Stop fighting me, Bella. I'm getting you away from these damn bloodsuckers."

With a quick scoop, he had me in his arms. We were moving across the yard. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was surprised at his smooth gait. Jacob never once jolted me as he jogged. The wolves kept pace at our sides; their bulky bodies were like warm, furry wall keeping the Cullens away from me. When I realized we were nearing my truck, I began struggling again.

"No!" I exclaimed in complete frustration, "There aren't enough wolves to catch her. Just talk with Carlisle."

Jacob snapped, "We don't need the demons we're meant to destroy helping us."

I blinked and then abruptly reared back and smacked him in the chest. My palms stung as I shrilly stated, "They aren't _demons!"_

My body shook with my heightened emotions. I demanded, "Why are you acting like such an idiot? My Jacob would never be so closed-minded and judgmental."

"I don't have time for this, Bella." Jacob growled as he flung the truck door open with so much power that the truck hinges groaned like breaking metal. He set me down in a heap, slammed the door shut so hard that the window cracked down the middle and was opening the door to the driver side before I could do more than scramble upright. He cranked the truck to life as I exclaimed, "You're acting like an ass, Jacob. I can't believe this is you in front of me right now."

"Right back at you, sweetheart." He muttered as he gunned the truck. We peeled out of the drive. My body slammed against the seat. Jacob tore down the Cullens twisting driveway with howling wolves running so closely to the truck that I could have reached my hand out the window and touched the dark grey one.

Jacob suddenly demanded, "Put your seatbelt on, Bella."

I grunted and huffed until I managed to sit up properly and slide the seatbelt over my chest. Tears pricked my tears and I pushed them down. We were less than a mile into Forks when Jacob demanded, "What the hell do you think you're doing, Bella? Are you siding with the Cullens now? Are you going back to them or something because you're scared? Why the _hell_ would you call them and ask them to come to Forks? How could you-"

He stopped ranting suddenly and slammed his foot down on the gas petal until the truck was pushing past sixty. The doors rattled and the truck groaned as if it were dying. It was then I noticed how badly Jacob's hands shook. I thought he might explode to his spirit form if he got any angrier. And when the truck slowed once more, I saw a silent tear glistening at the corner of his eye. Any anger I felt extinguished.

I murmured, "Let me explain, Jacob."

He slammed on the brakes and my body shot forward. His large palm across my chest and the seatbelt restraint kept me from smashing my face against the dashboard. He shut the truck off at the side of the road and turned to me, gaze fiercely hurt. I began to speak desperately, "Jacob, I saw how tired you were. I saw how far you and the others were spreading yourselves. I feel terrible because this _is_ my fault, no matter what you say. Victoria is sadistic and I don't want you or your pack to get hurt. I started this mess when Victoria's coven came through Forks last year. I called the Cullens because I knew that they were very experienced with killing vampires."

I took a breath and murmured, "At the very least, there could be more strength in numbers. You know, more people against her. I just keep thinking about how young everyone is. I mean, it isn't like you all are full-grown adults who made the decision to be a Protector. This was forced upon you."

Jacob growled lowly, so I rushed to explain. "Jake, I was sitting in that hospital all day long. Just thinking. The Clearwaters lost their dad to Victoria's games. Seth is fourteen years old. That's crazy. He's fatherless now. It could have been Charlie. Or Billy. Or you. Your dad was talking to me and-"

"What did he say to you?" Jacob barked, irritated.

"That you could never stop Phasing unless all the vampires leave town. It made me realize your life, all of you who Phased, have your life on hold. Jeez, Jake, you've dropped out of school because of Victoria, because of _me._ None of this is fair. I did the only think I could think of that I know would stop this disaster."

There was a pause. Jacob was staring at my hands, which were twisting nervously in my lap. I whispered, "I called Alice because I couldn't stand the thought of you…of you hurting. I can't lose you, but I feel like that's what's going to happen if Victoria isn't killed soon. It'll be you or Seth or _Embry._ Or Quil. One of the could be anyone. I can't stand that. I can't live with that."

When he didn't move or show any signs of replying, I felt my gut clench. Hopelessness coursed through my veins. Then Jacob's husky voice whispered, "I believed what you told me in your bedroom last night. I patrolled around your house for hours. I really did tell myself that this was just a crazy plan that you cooked up in order to protect me. Patrolled your area all night. I left your house for just short of thirty minutes this morning to meet with Sam about the Cullens. Quil was on his way to you. Then, he informs me you were gone. Just fucking gone. I freaked, Bella."

Jacob roughly sighed. "I went straight for the highway. I had a hard time distinguishing between scents because there were vehicles and the gasoline was throwing my senses off. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew where you had gone. Wasn't surprised at all."

"I'm so sorry, Jake." I whispered, "My intentions weren't to hurt you. I would never want to purposely hurt you."

We elapsed into silence. Both of us looked out at the windows before I said, "Carlisle is-"

Jacob's hot sigh cut my words off. "Sam will do what he wants with the Cullens, Bella. I don't have a say in his orders. He's the Alpha. Before we left, when Quil and Embry met up with me to find you, Sam told all of us that he didn't want to battle with the Cullens unless it was necessary. He wanted the three of us to scout, see what their intentions were, and regroup."

I muttered, "You didn't do much talking about intentions with them, did you?"

"I'm sure you did plenty of that on our behalf." He grumbled. With a jerk of his wrist, the truck roared back to life and he was back on the road. I frowned and slowly asked, "Sam is the Alpha?"  
"Yeah." He sighed, "Thought you knew that."

"Well, I assumed so…" I mumbled, "He saved me back then and all. He ordered Jared and Paul around so well when they found me in the forest. Just made sense that Sam would be the leader, but..."

"Is there a question in there somewhere, Bells?" Jacob asked tiredly.

I glanced at him. His eyes were dry and focused on the road. One of his hands was lying innocently in the space between us. His palm was up. Biting my lip, I slipped my hand to entangle with his. I heard him puff in relief right before he squeezed my hand. I said, "Just think the Cullens were confused on who is Alpha."

Jacob hummed under his breath and something about the sound had me glancing at him. I frowned and asked, "What?"

"What, what?" He raised an eyebrow and glanced at me.

I rolled my eyes and replied, "What do you know? Why are you deflecting?"

Jacob muttered, "What makes you think the leeches were confused?"

"Jasper mentioned scents and Carlisle said the Alpha was on the way, but Sam wasn't there. It was you, Quil, and Embry. I thought the Cullens must have been wrong. I don't understand what made them specifically assume Sam was there."

Jacob shrugged and replied, "Yeah. Well, Sam is the Alpha. That's true enough. Just isn't how it was meant to be according to all the magical spirits and destiny and all that jazz."

I raised my eyebrows and said, "That isn't an answer."

"Yes, it is." He huffed, "Just not one you want to hear."

I released his hand and folded my arms across my stomach. I said, "Just bring me home. I'm too tired to deal with this."

"This? You meant to say 'deal with me', don't you?" He mumbled.

"No. I mean _this_ Jacob. This angry, snarky jerk who is nothing like _my_ Jacob."

He sighed long and hard before saying, "I'm sorry, Bells. I am. I'm just…Look, the Alpha thing is a touchy subject for me. I'm meant to be Alpha, okay? The Black bloodline is always Alpha. Always Chief. It's been that way as far as our legends and records go. We're talking hundreds and hundreds of years' worth of history. That's a lot to live up to. See, Sam Phased first, though, so he got stuck with the job. Because Sam thinks I do well, he's planning to step down. I'll have to take over for however long we are all saddled with these damn beasts."

There was a long pause as I replayed the whispered conversation that I had shared with Billy the day before. Jacob pulled into my driveway. He took the keys from the ignition and slowly handed them to me. He whispered, "I'm sorry."

I shrugged and muttered, "I guess we're even now."

A brief smile touched the corner of his mouth. He nodded and said, "I guess so."

The thick silence reached up to choke us both. My chest tightened horribly and sorrow ate at my heart. Silence had never been a bad thing with us until recently. With a sigh, I opened the truck door. Jacob's warm palm on my shoulder stopped me.

"Wait…for just a second."

I paused, turning my head to meet his intense stare. He swallowed heavily and I watched the way his thick jaw and throat moved. Jacob parted his lips, but no words came. I frowned. He swallowed again. I asked, "What is it, Jake?"

"Is he back?" Jacob croaked, "Cullen. Is he back?"

My heart skipped several beats inside of my chest. There was a weight pressing down on me like a ton of bricks. My eyes dropped to blankly stare at the upholstery. I said, "No. No. Not everyone was there."

Jacob's hand trembled as he pulled it away from my shoulder. He said, "I need to Phase. The boys are waiting for me behind the house. I need to check in with Sam. You don't work today, do you?"

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my stomach before saying, "I don't have another shift at Newton's until Thursday afternoon."

Jacob nodded. "Good. Makes everything easier that way."

"I can quit." I hedged, "If I have to."

"No." He shook his head, "Don't do that."

I stepped out of the truck and shut the door. A shower of rusty paint flakes fell to the ground. Jacob rounded the hood of the truck. His palm thumped nervously on the headlight as he said, "I'll come through later tonight to tell you whatever Sam decides. Do me a favor, Bella. Don't go back to the Cullen property. If Sam does what I think he's going to do, then I won't be able to protect you that far into Forks territory."

He didn't wait for me to speak. Instead, he turned away from me and loped into the forest. He glanced back once. Dark mocha eyes plagued me relentlessly until Jacob was in front of me again hours later.

He came through my window at a quarter past one in the morning. Inky black hair shone in the moonlight. Steam was rising off of his shoulders as the heat of his bronzed skin evaporated raindrops. Rolling over and squinting, I rubbed at my eyes and pointed to my desktop.

"Towel and sweatpants." I croaked, "Bowl of beef stir-fry on the bedside table."

"Thanks, honey." He whispered. My eyes shut as I was lulled into a peaceful state by the quiet sounds of Jacob moving about. After some time, there was the clink of silverware on ceramic and then the bed dipped down. Warmth seeped into my body as Jacob stretched out beside me and slowly, carefully, slipped his fingers through mine. There was a moment of silence and then he whispered, "Sam wants us to work with the Cullens. You got your wish, Bells."

We stayed very still, barely breathing, for a long time that night.


	22. Chapter Twenty One

"I don't understand what Sam needs with me." I quietly said, "I don't have any information he can use against the Cullens, if that's what he wants."

Jacob sighed as he parked my truck in Emily's gravel driveway. He said, "Sam wants to work with them, Bells. You shouldn't play dumb. You're too smart for that."

"Alright. Fine. I don't like him." I muttered.

Jacob smiled and replied, "He isn't the bad guy, Bells."

We stayed silent for a moment before Jacob murmured, "Sam isn't the reason I've become a wolf. You know that. We were both wrong about him from the start."

Biting my lip, I nodded and silently hopped out of the truck. Jacob slammed the driver's door shut and came around to grip my elbow as I trudged through mud and rocks. Glancing up, I could see three broad men lounging on the porch. As we walked up a well-worn path, I could smell spices and sugar. Just faintly, I could hear a soft tune playing from a radio inside. Embry was slumped over in a rocking chair. His head was tilted back, chin jutting out, eyes at half-mast. His feet were caked in mud and it seemed as if the heel of his right foot was bleeding. Still, Embry chunked a red apple toward Jacob quite happily. He grinned and greeted, "Hey, Bells."

Jacob caught the fruit with one hand and took a crunching bite as he nodded to Sam and Jared. Both of them were wearing sweatpants in dark gray without shoes or shirts. Jared had a large cup in his hand and was guzzling from its contents. Sam had his thick arms crossed over his naked chest. His stern face looked even more severe, if it were possible. He greeted shortly, "Jake. Bella."

Jacob nodded and tucked me into his side. With one hand he tossed the apple core to the ground. He asked, "Anything new?"  
Sam curtly replied, "Yes. For your benefit, Bella, I will repeat that I've arranged a meeting with the Cullens. I'm sure Jake has told you by this point."

Jacob dryly replied, "You assumed correctly."

Jared snorted, but said nothing. After a moment, he wandered back into the house and returned with a muffin in one hand and a refilled cup to drink from. Sam sighed heavily and said, "There is additional conditions that were not presented to me yesterday afternoon. I got a call from the coven's leader, Carlisle, again early this morning. It seems the rest of their coven has arrived in Forks."

My heart began to hammer and my palms grew sweaty. Jacob swore under his breath before demanding, "And? What did he have to say? What did he want?"

"The leeches requested one thing." Sam explained stoutly, "They want Bella to be at the meeting to make sure that we haven't harmed her."

I felt Jacob's body tense from beside me. Glancing at him, I saw that Jacob was trembling and grinding his teeth. He let out a bitter, barking laugh that reminded me of rocks tumbling about. " _Harmed her?_ They want to make sure _we_ haven't harmed her? Jesus Christ, what planet do these fuckers live on? Why in the hell are you playing by their rules, Sam?"  
Sam firmly said, "I know what I'm doing, Jake. Regardless of circumstance, the Cullens are here. I find it best to try working with them. Fighting against them will only lead to death. Our pack can't battle seven Cullens and the nomad leech without losing a brother. _That_ is _my_ choice as Alpha."

Jacob's sneering expression faded. Frowning deeply, he sighed and looked up at the sky. He murmured, "Yeah. Yeah, Sam, I hear you."

"I don't want a human near them anymore than you do, Jake." Sam replied somberly. "At the end of the day, we have to make tough decisions. The Cullens are leeches, yes, and we can't ever forget that. They are the enemy, but the redheaded bloodsucker has killed one of our own. She's killed out-of-towners in the mountains for weeks. She's the current threat, the realest threat at the moment. We use the Cullens to aid our cause."

I said, "You speak of them as if they're objects or weapons."

"They are." Sam evenly stated, "They are nothing more than that to me."

"They're people." I replied, angry and stunned. I stepped away when Jacob quietly said my name. Glancing at him, I shook my head. "No, Jake. It's wrong. The way you talk about them and what you're saying right now is wrong."

"No, Bella. The one who is wrong is you." Sam responded harshly. "You're too clouded by emotions to see them clearly. They aren't human, Bella. They are predators designed to draw you in and kill you. They survive off of what allows you and I to live. We call them leeches because they're parasites, feeding on blood, within our world."

"The Cullens are different." I insisted quickly, "You don't know them. None of you know them like I do. The Cullens aren't a coven. They're a family. They're like us. They want happy, peaceful lives. They don't set out to kill or terrorize anyone."

"And yet suffering and death follows wherever they go." Sam said. "Look at what has happened to you since you met them, Bella. Your life has been threatened constantly. That scar on your wrist came from the teeth of a vampire. One who was attempting to torture you. You were nearly turned into a Cold One, yet you still stayed at their side faithfully. Then, suddenly, you were left in a forest with temperature drops that would have killed you had we not shown up. The Cullens skipped town and there was nothing to be found except a depressed girl who looked as if she had seen ghosts. It doesn't take a genius to know that a deadly situation occurred and they left in order to avoid consequences. Even now, you remain obsessively loyal to them. The first chance you get, you call them back to Forks. You're brainwashed, Bella Swan. It's what they do. You're their prey and you fell right into their hands."

I blinked. Once. Twice. I tried not to notice Jacob's tense body or conflicted expression. Sam said, "It isn't just you, Bella. The Cullens have threatened and destroyed others as well. Half of the boys are high-school dropouts. We can't hold regular jobs due to the demand of patrolling and the danger of Phasing in anger. The Clearwaters have lost the head of their family. Charlie and Billy have lost a friend and brother. We lost a good man, a leader. That is only a small portion of the domino-effect the Cullens have had on my people. They are a plague to me and mine. It's time you realize it."

There was a hefty silence. Sam nodded to Jacob before saying, "We meet them at six o'clock. Be there. Bring her. I plan to set up patrolling schedules and discuss strategy for hunting. I need you, Jacob."  
"Yeah, Sam." Jacob sighed, "I know."

He reached out hesitantly, but I ducked out of his reach. Jacob froze, hovering for a moment, before he let his hand drop to his side. Sam was staring at me with a deep disgust that likely mirrored my own. I swallowed heavily.

"Maybe I shouldn't have called the Cullens, but I did. I can't change that now. I don't know much, but I do know one thing. They're not the unfeeling killers you think they are. They try to be good and decent. They don't intentionally harm anyone. They aren't mindless, heartless beings like Victoria. If that were the case, they all would have killed me a thousand times over by now."

"Wrong again, Bella." Sam spoke deeply as he stared at me. I watched as his eyes flickered to Jacob's before settling on mine once more.

"All leeches are heartless creatures. They have no heartbeat. Nature dictates that their punishment for cheating the natural balance is a cursed existence filled with violence, death, and never-ending thirst."

We stared at one another for another moment before I finally broke my gaze and looked at my feet. Sam repeated, "Six o'clock."

"Yeah." Jacob quietly said, "Come on, Bells. I'll drive you back home."

"No." I whispered as I turned and walked down the porch steps. He followed me and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I'm not an invalid." I vaguely replied as I climbed into the driver's seat. I tried not to notice the uneven tremble in Jacob's voice as he said, "I know that. I'll just follow you home. I'll patrol outside and give you time to yourself."

I nodded and slammed the truck door. Purposely, I didn't look at him as I reversed and drove away. Once home, I sat in my bedroom, staring out of the window and watching the dim light of the sun fall out of the sky. Charlie still wasn't home and after a quick call, I found out he was with Sue Clearwater. Relieved, I assured him I was fine and would be heading out with Jacob for a few hours. By the time I dressed in fresh clothes, Jacob quietly knocked on the front door and walked in.

For a moment, we stared at each other. Wordlessly, I handed him the truck keys and walked outside. The ride was silent and ominous. I was completely unsure of where we were going, but I didn't dare ask. I watched intently as we drove. Jacob didn't bother speeding like he normally would. He stopped at a location far south from his little, red house by pulling off of the dirt road. He drove deeper into La Push territory. Several yards into the forest, Jacob brought the truck to a halt and shut the noisy engine off. "You'll have to walk from here, Bella…unless you want to ride on the back of my wolf."

I glanced at him, surprised. There was a sad smile on his lips, but Jacob didn't look at me at all as he jumped out the truck. Slowly, I did the same. I took a moment to look around as I bundled myself in my favored jacket. The trees towered over us, caging us in the darkening forest. The ground was soggy and my shoes sunk into the mud as we started walking. The darkness was swallowing the both of us. Glancing behind me, the truck's massive form was nothing but a blurry dark blob.

Jacob stayed right behind me with his palm spread across my lower back. I couldn't hear his footsteps, but I knew he could hear mine. Every animal, human, and supernatural creature within a one-hundred-mile radius probably heard the crunching of leaves and sloshing of muddy water from underneath my clumsy feet.

Soon I was hearing the hoot of owls and an odd chuffing, which I eventually realized were growls and snorts coming from canines. Wolves. I stopped walking so abruptly that Jacob knocked into me. I pitched forward, but big palms caught me. Jacob whispered, "You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah. Sorry…" I muttered as I felt my cheeks heat up. I struggled on and only tripped once more. Jacob caught me before I fully comprehended that I was falling again. I up-righted myself and muttered, "I swear that stick appeared out of nowhere."

His deep chuckled echoed throughout the dark forest. I couldn't help smiling. "You know, this would've been twenty times quicker if I wasn't with you. Then you could have, I don't know, went _poof,_ and ran around on four legs to this meeting. Wolf-y abilities and all."

Jacob laughed, "Should have taken me up on my offer for a ride. We're here anyways, Bells."

"Here?" I repeated in confusion, "If this is really where we're meant to meet, I'm going to slap you. This looks exactly like the same spot where we stopped the truck."

He wondered curiously, "Would you really slap me?"

"Do you think I would?" I asked in turn.

He paused before saying, "Yeah, actually, if you were mad enough."

I snorted, "Wow. Jeez. Thanks, Jake."

"Well, you do have a temper." He teased me.

I rolled my eyes and huffed, "That's the pot calling the kettle black."

"Black, huh? Touché, honey." He chuckled.

I groaned, "Are we _really_ here?"

He gestured easily and said, "Just through this thicket."

Jacob stepped forward, keeping his long arm stretched out enough to touch my elbow. He used his other arm to swipe branches out of the way. Tugging on my elbow, I stepped forward and out from behind the dark curtain of trees. The moon shone down brilliantly into a clearing. I squinted for a second and muttered, "Damn. You were right. How can you see _anything?"_

"I know you hate it when I'm right, honey." Jake replied mockingly, "But I can't help it. Comes with the package."

I turned and narrowed my eyes at him. He smiled and my stern look faltered. He raised an eyebrow and innocently stated, "What?"

I stated clearly, "I do _not_ hate it when you're right."

He hummed under his breath and took my palm between both of his hands to begin warming my trembling fingers. He stood in front of me and leaned down low enough to touch his forehead to mine. My feet shifted and I nearly pulled away, but his hands were warm on mine. Jacob murmured, "I want you to stay close to me during this meeting, Bella…"

I stared at the fabric of his shirt. The thin material he was wearing wouldn't have been enough to keep a normal person warm in the freezing, wet air. Jacob touched my cold cheek with his palm and murmured, "It isn't because I think you can't take care of yourself, honey. It's _them_ I'm worried about."

I sighed, "Jacob. I've told you before that they won't hurt me."

"Maybe they won't." He whispered, "If you're close to my side, though, I can protect you from anything. The redhead. She's trying to kill you, if you haven't noticed and I've kept her away from you."

I dryly replied, "Yeah. I've noticed."

We stared at each other a moment longer and it seemed as if he would lean down and press his lips to mine. Dread and anticipation grew inside of me. My heart beat faster. The sudden cocky smirk growing on his full mouth let me know Jacob knew what he was doing to me. I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands from his. I sharply said, "Don't."

Jacob pressed his lips together, dark eyes roaming over my figure from the top of my head to the tips of my sneaker-covered toes. He whispered, "You're angry."

I muttered, "Didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I can feel it." He sighed.

"Now isn't the time, Jacob." I said with exasperation.

"We've got time. You're angry with me because of Sam." He replied evenly.

"Drop it." I snapped while giving him my best glare.

He hotly said, "I don't want to go into this meeting with you pissed off at me."

"You're doing a fine job of making me pissed off right now." I muttered.

"Alright, so maybe I don't mind you being pissed off. It's the sadness."

"Jeez, Jake. What do you want me to say?" I grumbled while blushing.

"That you're angry with me and sad and confused about everything."

I huffed, "Fine. Yes, but if you keep pushing…"

He smirked. "Good. Feels better to let it out, doesn't it?"

I swallowed heavily, "Not really."

There was a slight pause before he said, "Well, you could vent to me."

I said nothing and looked at him in irritation. Jacob grinned brightly and said, "Sorry. Forgot that you're a loner. Why the hell would I imagine you might vent to me? It isn't like I'm your best friend or anything."

"When I figure out what to vent about, I'll let you know." I muttered.

"Looking forward to it." He quipped with a dramatic flourish that had me biting my lip to keep from smiling. Jacob looked up to the sky a moment later before slowly sighing. White clouds of breath puffed through the crisp air. The mood changed like honey leaking from a sieve.

"What?" I asked, "Are you worried about the meeting, too?"

"Yeah, but…" He trailed off before muttering, "Probably not for the same reason as you are. Looks, Bells, Sam says they _demanded_ for you to be here tonight or else they'd be forced to break the treaty to get to you. He's going to kill me for telling you that, but Bella, I can't hide information from you. You're smart enough to make your own choices. The Cullens aren't concerned about anything else except you."

I sputtered, "They wouldn't…they aren't that…hostile."

Jacob glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. He said, "They _aren't_ what you think, Bella. There's more to them than good guys with a bad rep. I don't know what else to do to convince you."

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and wrapped my arms around my stomach, unsure of what to say or do. There was no doubt in Jacob's voice or in my mind. I believed that Sam told Jacob that the Cullens threatened to break the treaty, but was _Sam_ telling the truth? I had little time to think further on my questions because, suddenly, the clearing was filled with menacing growls. Large beasts began slinking across the thick grass, dropping from the shadows like robust Viking warriors.

They didn't scare me. I watched as they moved in fascination. When Jacob's chest began to rumble and a haunting growl came out of his throat, I felt very curious. He eased both of us forward, farther away from the trees, until we were in the middle of the clearing. Jacob kept his arms banded around my waist and continued his deep rumbling. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was his animalistic way of showing possession over me. I wanted to be irritated with the thought, but found myself too full of anxiety and curiosity to care.

I turned my head and watched as three massive wolves slinked even closer until they were only a stone's throw from where Jake and I stood. They were impressive and terrifying. A large part of me was whispering to be afraid of these animals. And yet, I wasn't. I wasn't scared of them suddenly turning and attacking me. The only fear I felt in that moment was for the two opposing sides, not at all for myself.

It took my mind a moment to realize there was only three wolves in the clearing. The black wolf with the chilling, yellow eyes was Sam. I knew, even with the odd amber eyes that didn't match Sam's stony human glare, that this was him. He was much bigger than the other two wolves that flanked him. The one to his right was strikingly silver. Paul or Jared, maybe. The one on Sam's left was familiar with an iron-grey pelt and dark green eyes. Embry.

My gaze automatically searched the edges of the dark trees, but I only saw shadows. I knew none of them would leave La Push unprotected, but I had expected to see more than three, technically four, wolves present for such a potentially hostile meeting with the proclaimed enemy. As if he heard me speak my thoughts out loud, Jacob leaned closer to me and whispered softly.

"Jared is leading Quil, Leah, and Seth along the Rez. We could be there in about a minute or so if the redhead shows up. That's why Sam chose this spot."

"The silver one is Paul?" I asked quietly, my eyes scanning the wolves as they came to circle us. They weren't close enough to touch, but I could still feel the warmth radiating off of them like space heaters.

Jacob nodded curtly. Glancing at him, I could just make out the taut set of his jaw and the deep furrow of his brows. His shoulders stiffened and his spine straightened. I followed his gaze and squinted, but saw nothing. My heart began to hammer once I felt Jacob's sharp intake of breath. My heart skipped a beat at the sound. Carefully, I watched as the Cullens appeared. One blink of the eye showed nothing more than a dark, blank slate. With the next blink, pale ghosts dripped from the treetops and landed lightly upon the ground.

My first thought was of how stunning they all were. Other-worldly. Graceful beyond imagination. Moonlight seemed to caress their porcelain skin as each danced lithely across the cold, hard forest floor. Jasper and Carlisle were the first to emerge from the clutches of poorly lit treetops. Jasper's face was harshly attractive with his hollowed cheeks and slashing bone structure. Honeycomb curls were lush and yet did nothing to dampen his masculine beauty. Carlisle, handsome as always, seemed calm and collected. He moved slower than the others and remained a polite expression. His pale skin and hair matched with warm golden eyes that made the man look like an angel crafted by God himself.

Emmett and Rosalie, shortly followed by Esme and Alice, came forward. Alice was petite and made of all dark or light angles. She had the body of a supermodel with a face to match. The hair was extremely short and dark, casting a striking contrast between hair, eyes, and skin. Esme was much taller than Alice, yet shorter than Rosalie. Her unique shade of auburn hair was braided flawlessly and her heart-shape faced remained heartbreakingly lovely even in her obvious worry.

Rosalie, in all her glory, seemed fiercely beautiful. Her full lips were pulled back, showing off pearly-white teeth in a sneer. Impeccably thick golden-blonde hair fell like a waterfall down her slender back. Beside her, nearly as big as Jacob, stood Emmett. His chiseled jaw, glossy black curls, broad nose, and satisfied smirk gave him a classic handsomeness that was only increased by hypnotic golden eyes and an exquisite physique. Of them all, only Emmett was grinning as if he was amused.

My next thought was that it was so very Emmett for him to be happy and looking forward to a fight. My third thought jolted me. _Where was Edward?_ A long, drawn out moment passed and then Carlisle spoke. His voice rang across the clearing clearly.

"My friends, I am so glad that you have all graciously agreed to meet with us. I hope this hasn't been a dilemma for anyone involved. If it has, I apologize on behalf of my family. However, we feel this matter is of the utmost importance."

Another moment passed and then Jacob spoke up. His voice was strong and deep. "Get to the point, bloodsucker."

I flinched at the harsh words and flinched again as Rosalie growled in a high-pitched way. Emmett grabbed hold of Rosalie's arms and I watched as he silently murmured in her ear. Carlisle kept a smile on his handsome face as he replied, "As you wish, Jacob. This meeting is meant for us all to calmly discuss the matter of Victoria, the nomad vampire that has been hunting Bella and killing humans close to your region."

There was a pause and a small growl from Sam echoed. He was now within touching distance from me. Jacob abruptly said, "The red-headed leech is being taken care of. If that is all, then this meeting is just about over."

"You disrespectful, ignorant dog!" Rosalie snarled. Emmett had his hand on his wife's shoulders, thick fingers wrapping around her arm to hold her in place. Esme fearfully hissed, "Rosalie! Stay quiet!"

All of the wolves snarled in unison. My heart skipped several beats. I felt panic crawl up my throat. Swallowing convulsively, I almost missed Jacob's warmth as he rumbled threateningly in his chest. He was standing so closely to my side now that I could feel the vibration. My breath hitched when, quite suddenly, Edward came out zooming out of the forest. His walk slowed as he neared his family. The expression on his face had old memories tearing through my chest. It was as if I heard his outraged voice from underneath water. I watched, unable to look away, even as my eyes blurred with unshed tears.

Edward snarled, "Could you be any more unaware, Rosalie? They will attack in the span of a millisecond, do you understand?" He sped forward so quickly that my eyes couldn't follow properly. He came nose to nose with the woman and hissed loudly, "Shut your mouth. Allow Carlisle to speak."

" _Please…"_ Carlisle whispered without turning to look at his family. His golden eyes, I finally realized, showed pain. My heart echoed that pain I saw. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. My knees were trembling. The growls were rumbling on like the soundtrack to a film. Heated whispers, rushing so swiftly there was no understanding their meaning, broke out amongst the Cullens. My throat felt tight. My breath labored in and out of my lungs. Indecision welled up in my chest immediately. I murmured, "Jake…"

Jacob stepped to the side until our legs brushed. He took my sweaty palm in his and began to rub his thumb soothingly along my skin. He whispered, "I'm here."

I stared straight ahead, blankly taking in the scene of Carlisle turning away from his children and facing the clearing, facing us, once more. My fingers gripped Jacob's more tightly and my gaze dropped to the grass at my feet.

Carlisle said, "Bella is our concern and I plead you to listen in the matter of her safety. Victoria is hunting her. We wish only to rid of the threat. Loss of life is regrettable, but Victoria has allowed herself to go too far astray. My family and I feel that since Bella is the main target, she must remain under guard at all times. With the Alpha's permission, we would like to resume the previously discussed territory lines. Half of my family shall keep guard of Bella within Fork's limits while the other half shall work alongside you in matters of tracking and dispatching of Victoria. We shall not cross into La Push territory, but firmly remain on our side of the boarder as we have always done."

There was another rumble from beside me. I cut my eyes to the side and saw Sam's muzzle lift as if he was openly snarling at Carlisle. Fear for the Cullens gripped my heart, but the wolves didn't attack. Instead, Sam cut his yellow eyes at Jacob and he yipped loudly. I heard a grumbling snort from the silver wolf. _Paul._ Jacob sighed heavily and muttered in the poetic, flowing language of his people. The black wolf's great head shook from side to side. He growled, lip peeing back to expose pointy teeth. A pause happened and pieces finally clicked into place. Sam and Jacob were communicating.

Jacob called out abruptly, "The old territory lines won't work anymore, Cullen. If you want to help, it has to be on our terms. If not, then it would be best for you all to leave town fast."

"I will hear your terms, of course." Carlisle evenly replied.

Jacob explained tersely, "The previous territory is cut in half. You no longer touch the side of Forks closest to La Push."

Carlisle evenly stated, "That rather complicates the issue at hand, Jacob."

He retorted, "For you, maybe. You want to help so badly, then monitor everything on the opposite end of town. The far side where your house is. About three miles from your property, the redhead killed a man two weeks ago. It seems she zig-zags all over town as well as upstate and in Canada. Feel free to track her in all of those areas. We will keep the other half of Forks and our boarders safe."

There was a slight pause. Carlisle said, "I must point out that Bella's home is within the area you would be excluding us from having access to. Would it not be prudent to have additional guards at her house, job, and school?"

Jacob's heated voice rang out a moment later. "Bella Swan is nobody's business, but mine. The bloodsucker will get nowhere near her. My brothers and I can take care of a single leech without other _leeches_ to aid us. This meeting was a pointless courtesy."

Jacob glanced at Sam, who was rumbling and grumbling. Paul twitched, rump and tail trembling. His sharp, thick claws dug into the ground, creating huge furrows in the earth. With a jolt, I glanced away and continued to stare at Carlisle's expressionless face. Jacob's hand was clutching tightly to mine despite the sweat and tremble I was producing. My lips were pressed into a tight line. I was afraid to look at him. Afraid of what he would see in my eyes.

Sam yipped. Jacob let out a harsh, foreign sound. I knew he had just angrily sworn at Sam despite the language barrier. Following that was a deafening silence. Then Edward spoke. His voice was smooth and sincere like an angel singing. "There are things you don't understand, Jacob. I ask you to see reason."

Jacob snarled so piercingly that I jolted with my pounding heart in my throat. After the animalistic snarl died away, he murmured, "Don't tell me what I do or don't understand. We want nothing to do with your kind. Leave and don't come back."


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

I flinched as Edward began to speak again. This time I couldn't help but look at him. He looked as he always had; absolutely beautiful. An angel with a head full of glossy bronze hair and a face fit for a Greek god. His eyes were darker, which meant he hadn't hunted in some time. His face was contorted in anger, yet the sharp angles were all the same. Model-worthy and flawless. Edward spoke with the same musical quality I had always admired. "Put aside your petty jealousy and insecurities, Jacob Black. She is in danger."

Jacob snarled violently, "I'm aware of that! We don't need bloodsuckers to help in saving our own. We've killed your kind before and we can do it again."

"It is not only Victoria you are up against, Jacob." Carlisle's steady voice spoke again. He took a small step forward and put his hand upon Edward's shaking shoulder. He murmured quickly to his son. Edward nodded curtly before stepping back. He stood by Alice. My curiosity caused me to frown. I opened my mouth, about to ask what Carlisle meant, but Sam barked. Jacob spoke before I could. "We're done here. Waste of our time. Fucking stupid."

He gently tugged on my hand and was steering me toward the shadowy trees farthest from the Cullens. I mumbled, "Wait."

My feet stopped and Jacob's body froze. His long arm was extended between us as he squeezed my fingers. His dark gaze flickered between me and those behind us. Wolves danced around us, circling and keeping guard. He stated, "Let's go, Bells."

Jacob began to steer me once more toward the treeline opposite to the Cullens. I ripped my hand from his grip. He stopped walking again. Dark eyes grew wide and he swiped fitfully at his hair before rasping, "Bella, don't do this. Let's go home."

Gone was the strong warrior who had just faced his enemies. Gone was the demanding tone, the fierce stance, the harsh swear words, and bitter barking. In his place stood the vulnerable Jacob. My Jacob. This was a reminiscent glimpse of the sixteen-year-old boy who had gentle hands, sunny smiles, warm sodas, and a patient nature.

"Jake, trust me." I tried turning around, but Jacob darted in front of me and blocked my path. Only the frantic look on his face kept me from screaming at him. Big hands swept out and held to my shoulders. He rasped, "Don't go over there to them. Please, Bella. Don't."

Fear and impatience and doubts were clouding my mind to the point that I felt as if I might pass out. I demanded, "Jake! I want to know what they're talking about. It will only take a second."

For a long moment, mocha eyes searched my face. With a hefty sigh, Jacob roughly turned us both around until we were facing the Cullens again. His chest was against my back and his hands held my shoulders as if he were afraid that I would float away if I weren't anchored to the ground. Trembles in his fingertips and warmth spreading across my body gave me the strength to look at the ghostly apparitions before me. My cheeks grew flushed.

All were staring at me. I felt Jacob's body as he breathed. The wolves crouched in front of us, allowing me to see over the tips of their shoulders. Sam was growling quite fitfully, so much so that the ground shook beneath my feet. I licked my lips nervously before quietly saying, "I want to know what you meant, Carlisle."

He replied loudly in order for my ears to hear him over the rumbling growls of the wolves. "Victoria has accomplices, Bella. Alice has had visions of multiple vampires. We have no clear indication of how many, but she has seen an alarming number of individuals at Victoria's side. We mean no disrespect, but the protection of the wolves will fail. Alice has seen dozens of images in which a male vampire finds you."

Jacob murmured heatedly, "I would never let anything harm you, Bells."

"I know, Jake." I whispered without taking my eyes from Carlisle. I took a deep breath as Jacob snapped, "I think he's lying."

An irritated hiss escaped from Edward. My gaze riveted to him as he sneered, lip peeling from atop his teeth. "This is not a ploy to get Bella away from you, dog. My sister sees the future, and if you love Bella at all, you won't wish the future we have seen upon her. You will let us help protect her."

Sam's body shot upwards and Paul followed his swift movements. Gasping, I stumbled and would have fallen had Jacob not let go of my shoulders to wrap his arms around my waist. He held me steady as the wolves circled around us. I was irritated by their low barks. Sam had begun to snap his jaws and Jacob had begun speaking rapidly in his foreign tongue. His warm breath and the soothing sound of odd syllables made my tired eyes droop. I hoarsely asked, "What did you see, Alice?"

Her voice was loud and piercing as she spoke. "You are tortured, Bella. Sometimes, it is by Victoria. Other times, an unknown male accomplice finds you first. The scene changes continuously, but no matter the course taken, the actions are always the same. Somehow, the protection you're under fails. If we were to destroy Victoria quickly, we could prevent the situation from occurring."

I gulped and whispered, "…Makes sense, Jake."

"No, it doesn't." Jacob huffed as he spun my body around so quickly that I became dizzy. The giant circling wolves didn't help with my vision problems. Before I knew it, I was looking up at Jacob's fraught expression. His dark eyes, so unexpectedly beautiful, stared with a breathless intensity. Big palms were holding onto my arms as he whispered huskily, "Bells, listen to me. Think of the conversation we had. Remember what Sam said? Remember what I said?"

"I _know,_ Jacob." I replied in frustration, "Will you trust me for a single second?"

_"_ It's them I don't trust. They're the reason you're in danger to begin with."

"They aren't lying, Jacob. Alice really does have precognition." I insisted.

"Fine. Okay. Say she does. How do you know she isn't-"

I cut him off quickly, "I just know."

"What if this ability is faulty?" He asked heatedly.

I huffed in exasperation, "You're grasping at straws, Jake."

"Well, I wouldn't have to if you weren't so damn stubborn." He grumbled.

I demanded, "Just let them give whatever information they have."

"What information? All they've done is give vague bullshit runarounds."

I snapped, "This is ridiculous, Jacob. Just-"

"Bells, listen to me." He softly took my face in between his large, warm hands. I was so tired and cold that my eyes fell shut. He trailed his thumbs across my closed eyes for several seconds before whispering, "We haven't crossed a scent of any other vampire, except the dreadlock leech. And he's dead for good. Trust me. Paul and I killed him ourselves. I burned him. This redhead female is the only other scent for miles and miles. I've run clean to Canada and still smell nothing but her."

Slowly, my eyes opened. I stared at him for a moment. I swallowed heavily, "You aren't listening to _me,_ Jake. Alice's visions don't lie. I believe her. If she says Victoria and a bunch of vampires kill me, then I believe her. If you don't work with them, then she wins and I'll be dead. Is that what you want?"

We stared at one another for a long time. Jacob's dark gaze searched and strained as he took in my face. He never took his eyes from me as he spoke in rapid Quileute. The answering growl from Sam shook the ground once more. There was a pause and then Jacob muttered, "Fine. Cullen, we need to talk again. Name a place and time. I'll meet with you."

The three wolves had been forming a closed circle around us, blocking the Cullens from our view, but sudden Sam turned his massive, black body toward us. He snarled piercingly. Jacob turned his head and snarled back. Sam's wolf took a lunging step forward and my heart jumped into my throat. I jerked backward, but Jacob picked me up with one arm and shoved me behind his body. I fell to my bottom before scrambling upright as Jacob shouted, "STOP!"

I watched in confusion and great fear as Sam's wolfish body slammed backward as if he had just encountered an invisible wall. He stumbled on his four paws and then shook his dark muzzle in a dazed way. As I glanced around to locate the wolves, I noticed the Cullen family retreating swiftly. Emmett and Carlisle were struggling to keep ahold of Edward. His eyes were pitch black. His lips were pulled back in a snarl. He was the angriest I had ever seen him. A barking snarl startled me and had my mind focusing on Jacob and Sam once more.

The other wolves had backed away rather quickly. One silver and one iron-grey. Both were snapping at each other and casting glares at the Cullens, who had long since darted to the tops of the trees. The burliest shadow was clinging to a struggling figure. _Emmett and Edward._ I could make out a few more shadowy figures hanging from limbs, staying impossibly still, just out of reach.

My breath was starting to shorten as I stumbled to my feet and gripped Jacob's trembling elbow. Jacob didn't look at me as he swiftly said, "Stay on her, Embry. Don't let anyone touch her. Kill, if you have to."

Even as Embry slunk away from the edge of the clearing, still out of reach, but considerably closer to me, Jacob never took his eyes from Sam. He didn't look at the Cullens or his pack brothers. He just stared at Sam. The giant black wolf had his rump in the air, tail swishing faster than the slice of a blade. His teeth were showing, deep growls echoing, as he prepared to bounce. For half of a second, I thought I would die. I thought my life would be over because I was going to be mauled by a supernatural werewolf. I couldn't move and, even had my feet worked properly in that moment, I wouldn't have moved from Jacob's side.

Jacob tensed as he shouted, "I told you _no!"_

He yanked his arm out of my grip so quickly that I nearly fell on the ground again. Jacob took several lunges forward and snarled inhumanly. The muscles of his bare back contracted severely, rippling in such a way that I was stunned. I feverishly hoped he'd phase to his wolf form because he looked so small in comparison to Sam's massive size. My heartbeat was thumping so loudly that I could hear blood rushing through my head. With every step that he took, Sam seemed forced to step back. Once Jacob was nearly nose to muzzle with Sam, he began to shout.

"How fucking _dare_ you challenge me with Bella on my arm! I refuse to lie dormant underneath a leader who threatens her! I refuse to be underneath a leader who doesn't put _all_ mated females as their top concern!"

There was a strange ripping and popping noise. Where the black wolf had been, now crouched a naked Sam. I was too stunned to turn away. He stood and I averted my eyes from his exposed bottom half. I brought my eyes to Jacob's form and stared at him instead. Sam bellowed, "How childish can you be, Jacob? You wanted nothing to do with running this pack. You wanted to escape your birthright. You bitched and moped like a lovesick brat until you got your way. Now you decide on an impulsive whim that the Cullens can be trusted because they spun a story about Bella. Have you absolutely lost your mind? You need to put Bella aside and think logically."

"She comes first!" Jacob roared in outrage. His frame was shaking so badly that he was a russet blur. The bizarre look brought tears to my eyes. I held them back as best as I could as Jacob unrelentingly thundered on, "She _always_ comes first. Don't talk as if you wouldn't do the same thing for Emily. If this was any other human girl we were protecting, you would be willing to work alongside the leeches. You're unwilling because part of you resents myself and Bella. We can make a _choice_ and you can't anymore. Just because our ancestors saw fit to give you a pre-destined love story doesn't mean yours is the only one that matters, jackass."

Confusion was warring with the terror in my heart. I had no idea why Emily, Sam's fiancé, was brought into the conversation or why Sam seemed to resent me far more than I had previously understood. My body trembled and fought against me. Part of me wished to run to Jacob's side. The other part wanted to punch Sam in the face. For a moment, he seemed stunned at Jacob's words. And then all hell broke loose.

"She isn't your imprint, Jacob!" Sam growled, "And Emily isn't in a mess like this because she would never have gotten into bed with a leech."

The mental blow hit me instantly like a sucker-punch to the stomach. I flinched, but was crushed in utter horror as Jacob let out an unearthly growl, screaming and soaring toward Sam in a deadly lunge. His body transformed instantaneously. For a fraction of a second, I saw Sam's eyes widen in disbelief. In that fraction of a second, Jacob's wolf had pinned Sam's human body to the forest floor with a thunderous shake.

I whipped my head around as I looked frantically at the other wolves. I expected them to attack Jacob, but neither of them had moved from their previous positions. Jarring noises echoed like bones snapping. I turned in time to see Sam's transformation into his wolf form. I barely breathed. My feet were frozen in place.

The wolves were rolling and snapping. Snarling and smashing and ramming into one another. The sounds were so vulgar, so terrible, and so earsplitting, that I felt like slapping my palms over my ears like a child. Tears ran freely down my freezing cheeks. Gasps tore from my sore throat. I still couldn't move.

Jacob's reddish-brown wolf seemed bulkier than Sam's, though Sam seemed just as deadly. The two wolves circled one another, pushing closer and closer to the tree-line where the Cullens were. Pale blurs caught my attention for a singular moment as they climbed higher, switching just out of reach. A tiny part of me was glad they'd managed to escape and not meet the wrath of two werewolves. _My_ werewolf. I gasped, trying to inhale and expand my starving lungs. My throat was so dry that I could hardly swallow.

Sam swiped at Jacob, who tried to dodge the hit, but caught the powerful blow across the muzzle. A high-pitched whine, much like vehicle tires screeching across wet pavement, came from the russet wolf. An involuntary cry ripped from my throat. I took a wobbly step forward as if to help him, but an iron-grey wolf blocked my path. Jacob let out another roar and leaped toward Sam, catching his claws on Sam's side and digging them into Sam's wide ribcage. Sam let out a rumble that was unmistakably a sound of pain. Four long grooves were carved into Sam's side. Bright blood welled. The smell hit me immediately, thick and potent and coppery. I swallowed, putting my hand to my mouth.

Jacob leapt away from Sam and snapped down on his hindquarter before dancing out of the way as Sam took another swipe at Jacob's bleeding, foaming muzzle. I glanced behind me and noticed more wolves had gathered. I desperately wished the rest of the wolf pack would stop the fight, but was afraid they'd try attacking Jacob if I so much as spoke out loud. As guilty as I felt about it, I wished Jacob would inflict a wound fatal enough that Sam would surrender the fight. Not for the first time, I desperately wished Jacob and I were far, far away from Washington. Away from wolves and vampires. Away from death and monsters.

Sam rammed into Jacob's side heavily and Jacob's paws came out from underneath him. He snarled as Sam took a large hunk of beautiful russet fur from his left side. Jacob let out a canine yelp and scrambled to his paws, whirling around in a stunning display of agility. His back bent in ways that should have been impossible. The two struggled, grappling for several moments before Jacob threw Sam's furry, black body to the forest floor. The sound of both bodies connecting was a deafening avalanche.

They both backed away from one another, snarling while their massive sides heaved from the heat of the battle. There was a pause right before Sam came charging forward. He reared up on his hind legs, muzzle foaming and sharp teeth snapping. Jacob struck as rapidly as a snake. His body dove for Sam's exposed underbelly. He slid underneath, closing his sharp muzzle around Sam's front paw. The sickening crunching and cracking of bone, followed by the shrieking whine from Sam was enough to make vomit rise in my throat.

I held the sickness at bay out of complete terror for Jacob. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. His front paw cut across Sam's upper chest, gouging ruby-red furrows. Another nauseating whine left Sam's mouth as he crumpled. Jacob struggled to get out from underneath Sam's massive crumpling body, but he managed it.

Jacob stalked away from Sam's broken form. Several second passed with Sam in the background, lying still and breathing so harshly that I could hear his animalistic snorts easily. Jacob stood within reach, breathing just as harshly, with blood slowly dripping from his muzzle. I could see the fur and skin that was torn from his ribs. The wound was thick with mud and blood. The wolf's large mocha eyes stared at me for a long moment. I didn't take my eyes off of him, not even when I saw Paul in human form, kneeling at Sam's wolfish body.

Out of the forest came a large, darting figure. He had chocolate brown fur and bright hazel eyes. I simply stared as the animal stood up on its hindlegs and shrunk in size until Quil was standing in the middle of the clearing. Butt naked. Squeaking, I slapped my hand over my eyes. I heard a familiar booming laugh as Quil said, "Don't be shy, Bells. You might like what you see."

"S-Shut up, Quil." I stuttered while shivering. I kept my eyes closed, but could hear shuffling behind me and in front of me. My heart was still pounding in my chest, but I could hear two voices trying to coax Sam to transform back to his human body. I gasped as I felt warmth on either side of me. Fur rubbed against my thigh. I could feel it through my denim jeans. I cried out as my eyes flew open to stare blankly at the hulking beast before me.

Jacob let out a huffing growl from nearby. He gave the animal behind me a rather stern glare before trotting across the clearing. Turning slightly, I looked up at the massive head of a dark grey wolf. His eyes were dark green and his muzzle opened, revealing several gleaming teeth. My heart pounded. The wolf's pink tongue rolled out of his mouth and he gave me a wolfish grin. I felt hysterical laughter inside of me.

"Embry? Jeez." I said stupidly right before plopping on the ground at his side. My hands dove into his fur and I muttered, "Sorry. Got to hold onto something."

The wolf moved his head up and down, giving me an odd wolf-y smile. Looking in front of me, I could see a naked Paul and Quil carrying a now very human Sam. He was limp, arms dangling to scrape the ground. One wrist had blood and bones sticking out. Gagging, I desperately pressed my face into the wiry fur of Embry's wolf. A wet nose wiggled near my ear and I yelped. Embry chuffed and thumped his tail. I muttered, "Sam has to go to the hospital. Oh, God. His wrist."

Embry whimpered and it sounded remarkably like the average dog. I patted his big shoulder, rubbing my hands through his fur. I squinted, taking in the sight of Jacob in wolf form before the Cullens. They were much farther away than they had been earlier. In fact, they were completely outside of the clearing and more so in the treeline. I felt anxiety spike as I stumbled to my feet and began trotting across the clearing. Embry kept pace with me easily. I wiped at the tears sticking to my cold, wet cheeks. Jacob's massive head glanced my way and he barked, a yipping sound of reprimand, just once.

I rolled my eyes, but halted when Embry whimpered and placed his big body solidly in front of me. My view of Carlisle and the others was blocked thoroughly. I stared at gray fur as I asked, "Jacob, are you okay?"

There was another yipping bark and then the thumping of paws as Jacob trotted to my side. I turned, but the space where the Cullens had been moments before was nothing more than shadows and blankness now. I sighed wordlessly as Jacob nudged my hand with his bleeding muzzle. Frowning, I squinted at his wound. I swallowed heavily and muttered, "You're a mess, Jake. What just happened?"

Jacob attentively stretched his thick neck and licked at my fingers. I shook my hand and let out a flat laugh. "Stop it. Stop avoiding the question."

There was a ripping sound and then Embry was standing beside me. I averted my eyes upward to meet his somber gaze instead of his naked waist. He quietly said, "We need to go. Jacob's injured and he needs to be cleaned up as quickly as possible. We have to deal with Sam and a million other things tonight, Bella."

I nodded slowly and glanced around. "Okay. Which way do I go?"

Embry asked, "Would you mind if I carried you?"

I shook my head and replied, "No, of course not, Em."

Embry scooped me up as if I weighed less than a feather. He turned his back on the scene in the clearing and took off in a swift run. I was surprised that he didn't trip or falter a single time. The forest was pitch-black, so I couldn't tell how fast Embry was running, but by the soft breeze of wind on my face I realized that wolves couldn't run nearly as fast as vampires. I theorized people like Jacob were limited when they were in their human form. My eyes squinted, constantly searching and not finding any sight of Jacob. Occasionally I heard the snapping of a twig or the splash of hefty weight stepping in a puddle, but I had no way of knowing if it was Embry or Jacob.

We reached my truck much faster than I thought possible. Too tired and exhausted to wonder anymore, I let Embry set me in the truck cab. My fingers, my face, and feet had long since stopped feeling the cold. I was numb. I was shaking. Embry drove us back into familiar La Push territory with the heater blasting me with hot air. My nose was dripping, so I sniffled often. Neither of us spoke until we pulled up to the Blacks' house. It was once I saw the golden light beaming through the living room window that I remembered about Charlie. _Sue. Harry's death. Funeral preparations._ Charlie's cruiser was hazardly parked near the front door. I cursed half-heartedly and began to wipe feverishly at my face.

"What is it, Bella?" Embry asked quietly as he fully pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine. I muttered, "Charlie can't see me like this…"

"Charlie isn't here." He said simply. I glanced up at him with a frown marring my features. He explained, "Charlie's scent is a few hours old, so he left a couple of hours ago. I think he must be with Billy, helping Sue down at the lodge."

I nodded, relief flooding me. Slipping from the truck seat, I nearly fell on my face. Embry caught me by the elbows with incredible speed. I mumbled, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He spoke quietly and politely.

I looked all around, turning my head behind me and to the left. All I could see was darkness. I asked nervously, "Where's Jake at?"

"Right here." I heard his voice a moment before he appeared from the side of the house. Tears formed in my eyes all over again as I ran forward. The aching in my chest grew greater until my arms wrapped around his sternum. Jacob embraced me so fiercely that I was sure I'd have bruises across my ribs, but I didn't mind. I smelled pine and spices and rain. I took a moment to let it wash over me. I pushed my face into the side of his neck and inhaled deeply. The rusty tinge of blood had me gulping.

I yanked back far enough to gasp, "Jake, you're hurt. Put me down and let me help you. Do you have a medical kit in the bathroom?"

He slowly allowed my dangling feet to touch the ground. He whispered, "You're freezing. Let's get you warmed up."

Jacob towed me to the front porch with Embry flanking us silently. Jacob threw the front door open and the yellow light from indoors cast a glow over us. With my hand to my mouth, I stopped walking and stared at Jacob's face. Tears spilled down my cheeks, gushing from the brim of my eyelids and splashing down. A choked sob left my throat. I faintly heard the door click closed behind me. He whispered, "Bells, I'm fine. This is just some scratches."

I faintly echoed, "Scratches…?"

He sighed and kept his dark, concerned eyes on my face. He said, "Em, you know where the emergency kit is. Could you grab it?"

Embry stalked down the hallway and returned seconds later with a plastic case in his hands. I stared at Jacob's handsome face. It was covered in thick, chunky pieces of skin. Blood dripped from his chin and splashed on the wooden floorboards. His cheek was swollen and looked as if dark purple ink had been busted across the bone. As Embry set the medical kit on the kitchen table and gestured worriedly to Jacob, I stumbled toward the bathroom with one hand to my mouth. Jacob reached forward, brushing his fingertips across my cheek and saying my name loudly, but I pushed him away in my haste. With my hand clamped tightly across my mouth, I entered the bathroom, fell to my knees, and retched violently. _Too much. Too much. Too much._

I heard Jacob swearing colorfully. It took several moments of rinsing my mouth before I could return to the front of the house. Jacob was leaning against the kitchen counter and Embry was dabbing a white cloth across his friend's chin. I stood trembling for a long moment before Jacob's eyes met mine over Embry's shoulder. His gaze softened and he murmured, "I'm not hurt that badly, Bella. These scratches will heal overnight. I heal faster than humans. It's a wolf thing."

I stared blankly at him as I trembled. _Too much. Too much. Too much._ I opened my mouth to speak, but all I could hear were the screams and yelps and snarls of wolves. Images flashed through my mind. Bright bronze hair. Pale skin. Golden eyes. Sam's giant body crumbling. A spray of dark red from his wrist. I squeezed my eyes closed. When I opened them again, Jacob was gently walking toward me.

He murmured, "I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't want you to see any of that. I don't know if you can understand the way a pack works right now, but Sam challenged me when he came at me so aggressively with you right there. I had to protect you. I'm sorry you saw me like that. Wish you hadn't."

He stood before me, covered in dried blood, sweat, dirt, and gouges. There were purple shadows underneath his eyes. His cheek was swollen to the point that he was nearly disfigured. If I focused enough, I could see that his naked chest was glistening with sweat. His skin was quivering slightly. He had nearly killed a man he claimed as a brother. _Too much. Too much. Too much, Bella._ I grabbed ahold of the first coherent, rational thought I had. "Sit down. Embry, give me that wet cloth."

I was relieved when they both did as I asked without a word more spoken. Carefully, I brought the cloth to Jacob's upturned face. It took only seconds for me to realize there was mud and debris sticking inside the gouges. I fumbled through the medical kit, pulling out alcohol. I whispered, "This will burn."

"Go ahead." He whispered back.

I went to the bathroom and brought out a handful of towels. I put one in his lap. I held another in one hand while pouring alcohol on his cheek with the opposite hand. He winced, hissing sharply through his lips, but said nothing. Several towels were soaked with alternating bouts of alcohol and fresh, cold water.

"I think I've flushed all the mud out now." I mumbled while screwing the lid back on the alcohol bottle. He croaked, "Thanks."

I grabbed a small spray bottle and said, "Don't thank me yet. Close your eyes."

He did as I instructed just before I spritzed antiseptic across his cheek and chin. Jacob winced and muttered, "Holly hell, Bella. Are we done yet?"

"Don't be a big baby." I muttered, "I'm trying to keep your face from falling off due to infection. Would you rather rot?"

I turned away from him and glared at Embry. I was dizzy from the sight of gore, but a hand to the tabletop steadied me. Embry had leaned against the countertop with a pizza box filled with leftovers. With a glance, I could see he had saved two pieces, which he stepped forward and laid on the kitchen table. Jacob groaned and picked the pieces up, shoving them into his mouth. He started chewing vigorously. I asked, "Are you hurt, Embry?"

"No." He said before chugging a glass of water.

"Alright. I'll be back in a little bit." I said as I bent down and gathered up the bloody towels. Only after I had them in the washing machine did I come back to find both boys rummaging through the cupboard. Jacob was eating peaches out of a can while Embry was fishing pickles out of a jar.

"What now?" I sighed heavily as I sank into a rickety chair.

Jacob grimly stated, "We meet with the Cullens the day after tomorrow."

"Why not tomorrow?" I asked with a frown as I collapsed into a nearby chair.

Jacob sighed, "Harry's funeral is at noon. His closed ceremony will be at two."

I put my head in my hands. "Oh. Right. Okay."

There was a pause before I asked, "What happened with Sam?"

Jacob cleared his throat. "I…took over the pack."

"Accidentally?" I asked as my head whipped up. I stared at Jacob.

"Sorta. Well, not really. I knew what I was doing after the shock wore off."

I demanded, "Shock? From what? Him slandering me aloud for all to hear?"

He explained, "No, Bells. For putting you in danger like he did."

Jacob cut his eyes at Embry, who nodded and set the empty pickle jar aside. Jacob said to him, "Switch out with Jared. Take a four-hour patrol and then hit the sack. I'll relieve Leah soon enough. Let Seth run as long as he wants to. The kid is a nervous wreck and tiring himself out might do him a bit of good."

Only once Embry had shut the front door did Jacob look at me. He said, "Sam has been under pressure for a long time. He was the first to Phase and lead two others long before the rest of us Phased. The Cullens returning only make everything worse. When they didn't want to accept Sam's new terms, he was worried we would have to go to battle with them. He was willing to walk away and let the old terms stand as our ancestors had once set. Basically, the old terms state they stay away from us and we stay away from them as long as one, they don't hunt humans and two, they don't bite a human in order to change them."

Jacob sighed, "Sam wanted to focus on the red-head, but if the leeches are telling the truth, then the old terms don't matter to me anymore. I need access to that coven and their territory just as they will need access to me. The fact that I was willing to step away from the pack, completely separate myself and go lone wolf, in order to work with the Cullens, floored Sam right into a rage. He tried Alpha Ordering me to stay away from the Cullens and not communicate with them. I refused the Order."

I swallowed, "And refusing an Alpha Order is…bad?"

Jacob shrugged and slumped into the chair across from me. "As far as I know, it's never been done before tonight. An Order is impossible to ignore. It's like a metal cage around your chest. If you try to fight the command, you can't breathe properly and you bend until you obey."

I croaked, "Oh…my, God, Jacob."

He stared intently at me before explaining, "I'm Ephraim Black's grandson. He was my dad's father. He was the last Alpha about eighty years ago. He set the treaty to begin with. He was the last really big to-do warrior Chieftain. You know the old stories about the greatest Chieftain and the Third Wife? Well, he's my ancestor as well. My bloodline isn't made to follow another, Bella."

We elapsed into silence. I thought for quite a while before I whispered, "You're made to be a leader. You've always been made to lead even before you Phased."

Jacob smiled sadly before softly saying, "Haven't got much of a choice now, do I? There's only one way for me to make sure you're kept safe. I'm Alpha now and I'm going to meet with the leeches. I'm going to hear them out. And I'm going to increase the protection you have until Victoria and any other red-eyes are destroyed."

I looked away and croaked, "You didn't have to do all of this for me."

"Yeah, Bells." He murmured, "I did. You know I could never stand aside and just let someone, anyone, threaten you."

Our eyes locked again. Jacob asked, "Do you want me to drive you home or follow you as a wolf?"

"I can drive." I said quietly. He nodded and said, "I'm going to patrol once you're safely inside. I should be done around dawn."

As we walked outside to my truck, I turned to him. Jacob reached out and tenderly tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I said, "I was so scared tonight."

"Me, too." He rasped, "Scared you were going to get hurt."

"Me?" I let out a watery laugh, "You were the one fighting and bleeding."

He smiled softly, "I'll see you tomorrow, Bells."

I bit my lip before slowly hugging him around the middle. I whispered against his chest, "Okay. Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight, honey."


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

The funeral was a small service held on the beach. It was an uncommonly rain-free day. The sun wasn't shining, but weakly glowing from behind dark clouds. Most of the words spoken were in Quileute, but I didn't mind. The soothing sound of Billy and Old Quil's deep baritones lulled me into a dream-like state. Although the two were dressed in elaborate ceremonial robes, no others were. Sue wore a simple black dress as did Leah. Both stood aside a beautiful closed-casket made of a rich wood. Seth, the only remaining male Clearwater, stood with his brothers. With his pack. All seven men stood directly behind Billy and Old Quil. They each wore dark pants, but remained barefoot and half-naked. Each showed off barrel-chests with their tattoo-covered shoulders displayed to the small crowd. Seth was the only one with a tiny black symbol painted over his right pectoral. A symbol that was directly over his heart. A symbol of mourning.

For a time, I focused on Sam. He was standing tall and proud despite the white wrappings on his thick wrist. Eventually, my eyes sought out Jacob only to find those mocha eyes locked on me. He remained a sober expression, all of them did, but I could see the cracks in Jacob's façade. His eyes were shining like liquid ink. His teeth were clenched. His bare toes dug into the sand. It was the sight of that nervous, childish habit that had my tight chest slowly loosening. I drew in grateful gulps of air.

After the service, the majority of people went to the Clearwater house on foot. Jacob, Sam, Quil, and Seth went in the opposite direction carrying Harry's casket silently off of the beach. My bare feet lingered just as a drizzle of rain began. Charlie had helped Billy's wheel-chair out of the sand. The two of them were leading Sue and Leah while a few others followed in their footsteps. I looked up at the sky, blinking, until a warm set of fingers brushed my shoulder. I jolted and looked up at Embry's broken expression. I didn't miss the red-rim of his eyes.

Just behind him hovered Paul and Jared. One glared while the other blankly stared as if dazed. Both seemed lost. Embry whispered, "Can we walk with you?"

"Of course." I whispered before reaching out and taking Embry's hand in mine. I felt awkward. My face blushed hotly, but I didn't let go. We walked side by side with Paul and Jared following reluctantly. They only came after Embry whispered quietly to them. As we lingered outside the Clearwaters' yard, Embry squeezed my hand. He quietly said, "Thanks."

I bit my lip and said, "No problem."

"Isn't this cute." Paul snorted from nearby. I didn't fail to notice how he talked out of the corner of his lips as if he didn't want to cause a scene. "The two of you getting cozy now, huh? Wonder what Baby Alpha is going to think about his Leech Lover shacking up with his best friend."

"Don't be a dick, Paul." Embry sighed tiredly and rubbed at his red eyes.

Although my face was aflame and Embry had quickly dropped my hand as if it had scalded him, I focused on Paul as I said, "I'm sorry for making everything harder for all of you. I'm sorry Harry is dead. I'm sorry you're miserable, Paul. I hope all of this ends soon, so you can get on with your life."

There was a pause. Paul snapped, "Save your drivel for somebody who cares, Swan. Better yet, go spout your poetry to Jake. He gets off on it, don't you know?"

"Enough." Embry firmly said. "I mean it, Paul. Enough."

The man scoffed before rolling his eyes and jogging off down the road. Jared sighed before saying, "He's going to patrol earlier than expected. Quil is likely already out there now that they've taken care of Harry."

"I know." Embry replied, "Go let Jake know about Paul, please."

"Yeah. On it." Jared said before turning and following Paul's trail.

Embry stayed by my side as we entered the Clearwaters' house. It took only moments for me to realize the house was entirely too small for the amount of people crammed into it. There were wonderful scents wafting from the kitchen. People in dark clothing were murmuring in corners and picking fitfully at casseroles. Embry went right to Sue's side, hugging her softly and murmuring in her ear for a long moment. After that, he came to my side and gestured. I followed him to the kitchen. We stood in a line for food. My feet shifted nervously as people brushed my shoulders and offered quiet apologies. Embry filled up a plate before handing over a much smaller serving to me. I muttered, "Thanks."

He brought me to the backyard. There was a small patio with an overhead. Very few people were outside due to the sudden drizzle, but Embry didn't seem to mind it. I figured his body temperature stopped him from ever catching a chill. We sat down at a picnic table. Embry immediately tucked in to his plate. I realized, not for the first time, he had much better manners than the other pack members. I picked at a ham and cheese wheat roll. My eyes kept scanning the treeline at the edge of the property as I sipped on a glass of sweet tea.

Once I realized Embry had finished nearly all of his food, I wordlessly passed him my bread roll and a handful of cookies. He whispered, "You haven't eaten."

I set the offered items on his plate and picked up a chocolate chip cookie. I made a point to swallow the entire thing, although my throat felt very dry. After finishing off my glass of tea, Embry and I tossed our paper plates. I whispered, "Where's Jake?"

"Probably sorting out Sam." He whispered back.

A few minutes later, Seth came out of the forest and joined us at the picnic table. He plopped down next to me and sighed heavily. It was mindboggling to realize this tall, broad, overly muscular man-child was once the round-cheeked boy who had giggled at Jacob's jokes just a few months before. Seth was barely fifteen and yet he looked as if he were a very active twenty-five-year-old.

"Are you cold, Bella?" He asked me with earnest hazel eyes turned in my direction. He said, "You're shivering. It must be the rain. Let's go to Jake's house. Much less of a crowd."

"Don't you want to see your Mom?" I hesitantly asked.

"Leah is with her right now." Seth replied as he stood up. "Besides, I don't really want any more people telling me how sorry they are. Feels terrible after a while."

Tears burned instantly in my eyes, but I blinked them away and followed the boy. Embry was at our side. We shared a long look, but said nothing even as Seth chattered on. He spoke of Jacob mostly. Of how he thought Jacob was doing the right thing by befriending the Cullens. Of how he thought Sam was a great person, but was too worried to see the bigger picture of making allies. Of how Sam's wrist was healing nicely thanks to Seth's mother and her medical skills. It seemed as if the craziness of a supernatural world hadn't changed Seth's viewpoint of Jacob, who he had held in high-esteem since the moment I had met him.

When we made it to the Blacks' house, Seth held the door open for me. I ducked inside right after Embry. Seth closed the door and sighed, "Much better. Do you think Jake has anything to eat?"

He walked to the kitchen and paused. "Do you think Jake would mind if I dug through the refrigerator, Em?"

"Nah." Embry quietly said, "Jake won't care."

I stood awkwardly in the middle of the small house, blinking and wondering. Seth was warming up a plate of leftover rice and gravy in the microwave when Embry sucked in a sharp breath. By the time I turned to face him, Embry was at the door and yanking it open. A fork clattered to the floor as Seth spun on his heels. His eyes were wide. He opened his mouth, but Embry spoke swiftly.

"Stay with Bella. Don't leave her side. If you scent anything, holler for us."

And then Embry was gone. I darted to Seth's side as he bent to pick up the wayward silverware. I demanded, "What? A vampire? What's going on, Seth?"

"I'm not too sure." He slowly said, biting his lower lip. I frowned with my arms crossed over my stomach as I waited. He eventually said, "I think somebody Phased."

"As in somebody was too angry? Too upset?" I hesitantly asked.

"No, no. Well, yes, but…" Seth shook his head and whispered, "A new wolf."

"Oh, no…" I quietly released a shaky breath and sat at the rickety kitchen table. We were silent. Both of us stayed frozen for some time before Seth pulled a plate from the microwave and sat down. He ate mechanically. By the time he was halfway finished, I had poured a cup of milk and brought it to him.

"Thanks, Bella." He gave a feeble smile and drained the glass. I watched as he went to the sink and began washing his dishes. When it became clear that Seth was going to wash the towering stack of neglected dishes, I rolled up the sleeves of my cotton dress and denim jacket. I shoved my elbows in sudsy water. After drying each dish, I handed it over to Seth, who was much taller and capable of easily putting each item in its cabinet. Seth whispered, "I wonder where Leah is. Maybe she's with Jacob."

"She's with one of them." I replied, "If not Jacob, then Embry or Quil. Maybe even Paul or Jared. I don't think any of them would let her get hurt, Seth."

"Yeah." He whispered, "We protect each other even though we fight a lot."

I pressed my lips together, glancing at him. Seth offered a sad smile and said, "I know you might think I'm crazy for saying that because of Sam and Jacob, but neither of them want to hurt each other. They might disagree, but they still help each other. The fight looked worse than it was, Bella. We're wolves. We get angry and we're tough on each other. There's a pecking order, but we work well as a pack. Sam and Jacob are both filled with guilt and worry for the other already."

Half an hour later, there was a lone howl that echoed through the house. I sat up straighter on the sofa and glanced nervously at Seth, who was looking out the window. He said, "It's a reassurance, Bella. Not a warning call."

"Oh." I mumbled, "Okay. Did you get anything else out of that noise?"

Seth chuckled and shook his head. "Nope. It was Jake, though. He's thoughtful like that. He knows you and I are wondering what's going on right now."

After a time, I wandered down the hall and found myself in Jacob's bedroom. The door was wide open and clothes were spilling out into the hallway. Retrieving a laundry basket, I piled all of the dirty cut-off denim and sweatpants into the basket and set the washing machine. The task of cleaning his bedroom kept me busy for a long while. Because I had already rearranged his desk, magazines, and closet I thought I might as well do a well-rounded job. And so, I was scrubbing the floorboards on my hands and knees when Seth found me.

He asked, "Do you need any help, Bella?"

I glanced at the tall boy who was still biting his lip. I said, "Sure, sure. Could you bring the set of folded clothes back here? Thanks."

When Seth returned, I wordlessly handed him a scrub brush. As he went to work on the baseboards of Jacob's bedroom, I carefully rearranged the battered dresser. By the time I was finished, Jacob had three drawers filled with fresh clothes. Despite not wanting to notice, I was very aware that the majority of his clothing no longer consisted of undergarments or shirts or pants. Just cut up shorts. After searching for a while, I realized Jacob had only one pair of sneakers. I could only assume he had ruined any other pairs while running about in the forest.

I went to the bathroom and found an old cloth, which I used to scrape the mud off the soles of the sneakers. I set those underneath his tiny desk just as Seth wiped the floor down with a dry cloth. He sat back on his heels and said, "There. Good as new."

"Thanks, Seth." I said. There was another howl, which caused Seth to cock his head to the side. He stood up and headed for the front of the house, but his pace was leisure and didn't send me into a worried panic. I pulled clean sheets out of another laundry basket and made Jacob's bed. After fluffing the pillows, I plopped onto the bed and sighed. Somewhere between worrying and staring at the ceiling, I fell asleep.

It was the squeak of a floor board that had my heavy eyes opening. I rolled over and found Jacob leaning against the doorway. He was wearing loose shorts and no shirt. His hair was damp and glistening in the dark. I smelled the crisp aroma of soap and the faint freshness of his shampoo. It smelled like cool mountain air. There were dark circles under his eyes and a tired smile on his face. His arms were folded across his bare chest. He unfolded them and stepped into the room before gently shutting the door.

He murmured, "I found you sleeping in here earlier. Just about the best sight I could think of. I didn't have the heart to wake you." Jacob shrugged and added, "I like seeing you right there, with my pillow and curled up under my blanket."

My cheeks were hot as I dropped my gaze. Slowly, I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. I could feel his intense stare. My arms went around my waist as Jacob sighed, "Too much again, right?"

I swallowed heavily and asked, "What happened today?"

There was a pause, but I kept my eyes on the shiny floorboards. He quietly explained, "Two more Phased. Boys. Twin brothers named Brady and Collin Littlesea. I wasn't expecting it. Hell, they weren't even on Sam's radar. He was looking amongst families at the Makah Rez. The Uley, Clearwater, and Young bloodlines live on that Rez, too. The connection is faint, but if anybody else was to Phase we expected it to be there. Even Embry has cousins up at Makah's Rez."

I cleared my throat and asked, "Are they okay? Brady and Collin?"

"They're scared shitless." Jacob said starkly. "Having strangers in their mind while they're exploding into beasts isn't exactly a calming thing. Seth is with them now. Seems they all know each other. They're friends."

I asked, "You don't know them? I thought everyone knew everyone on the Rez."

"Yes." He replied, "I know their family, but they're so much younger than me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Younger? Seth's age?"

"No. The twins just turned thirteen yesterday." He explained with a sigh.

"Thirteen?" I exclaimed, "Holy crow."

"Yeah, I know. Nothing to be done now except teach them." Jacob muttered.

I hesitantly asked, "Where are they now? Were they able to…Phase back?"

"Nope." He said as he leaned heavily against the wall. "They're hiding out in a big tree trunk. I stayed with them and talked to them for a long time. They calmed down, but they're cautious and scared. When Seth was mentioned, both boys perked up. Seems, uh, Brady, has a crush on Seth."

"A crush…?" I echoed with wide eyes. Jacob slowly smirked as I blushed. I mumbled, "Poor Brady."

Jacob smirked. "Seth is being gracious about it. He's flattered, actually."

I nodded. "Of course, he is. He's such a great boy, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Jacob shrugged, "Seth's a pretty good kid."

There was a pause. Jacob sighed. I asked, "What else? Sit down and tell me."

I could see how tired he was. Jacob shuffled my way and plopped on the mattress. He stared around the bedroom before whispering, "The boys were so small. I mean, the change has hit them for sure, but they weren't ready. They Phased months before they should have. Half the muscle mass they need is missing. It really hurt them, Bells. They were screaming when I found them. I didn't know what in the hell to do…and…"

I reached out, putting my arms around his shoulder. I rubbed softly and prompted, "And?"

Jacob let out a gush of air. "Embry came straight to us. He's got a way about him. You know, calm and quiet. Sam is usually the same way. He showed up, too, asked permission to help. I felt like such an asshole, Bella, because Sam felt as if he had to _ask_ to aid his own pack. I felt stupid because all my talking wasn't helping them. None of us could stop these boys from feeling pain. The fever has been making them delirious. Took forever before they listened to a thing any of us had to say. Took even longer before I realized playing memories might help them more than actual words."

"It worked in the end, didn't it?" I said, "All of you came together to help two boys who were hurting and scared. Even now, none of you are leaving them to their own devices. That's what's important, Jake."

"Yeah." He croaked, "Yeah, I guess."

I slowly said, "Maybe I was wrong about Sam. Things like this don't make sense. We only do the best we can. I've made some stupidly embarrassing decisions and I was only making those decisions for myself. I can't imagine trying to lead people. I'm going to apologize to him next time I see him, okay?"

Jacob eyed me oddly. "Sam doesn't hate you, Bells. Or me. He just thinks…"

I prompted again, "Thinks what?"

"Nothing. Never mind." He shook his head quickly.

I asked, "Since when have we started lying to each other?"

"It isn't a lie if I haven't said anything." He pointed out.

"Don't dodge me, Black." I sharply replied.

He dryly stated, "I'd rather dodge than have you mad at me, Swan."

I said, "I promise I won't get mad."

He replied, "Sam thinks we're acting stupid and it puts us in danger."

I demanded, "How so? Neither of us asked for Victoria to be on a war path."  
"No." Jacob huffed, "He thinks our feelings for each other put us in danger."

My hands stopped rubbing at his shoulders. Jacob sighed and quietly said, "You stop touching me the moment you really think about it."

Suddenly irritated, I jumped up from the bed. Jacob followed me as I quickly made my way down the narrowed hallway. "Wait, Bells. Come on. Are you really going to run off on me like this?"

As I walked out onto the porch Jacob angrily said, "You promised you wouldn't get mad. Just talk to me. Stop running and tell me how you feel. Damnit, Bella."

His fingers wrapped around my wrist as I lingered on the porch. I shrugged his hold off and muttered, "I don't know what to say."

"That's okay." He replied hastily, "I know you aren't big on feelings. I get it, Bells. It isn't exactly fun to bear yourself to somebody, but sometimes you need to."

He swallowed heavily and said, "There are times I know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. Other times, you act so contradictory that I'm lost. And right now, with everything going on, I'm really fucking lost, Bella."

Turning, I glanced up at him. Mocha eyes were deep and dark. The tight lines at his mouth showed me just how tired he was. Carefully, I tucked my head against his chest. Warm arms enveloped me instantly, holding me. I could hear the thick thumping of his heart. I could smell pine, soap, and ocean air. His voice vibrated through my ear as he rasped, "Is there no chance, Bella?"

My body felt cold and hot at the same time. My mouth opened, but no words came out. He tensed as if waiting and expecting a blow. I sighed, "Jacob…"

"Yeah?" He croaked, petting my hair with a trembling hand.

"I just…I'm not sure if I can give you what you want." I whispered.

"Just want you, Bells." He murmured against the top of my head. His arms pressed me even tighter against his chest. His heartbeat was pounding now. My fingertips began trailing up and down the base of his spine. Inhaling, Jacob let out the throatiest of sounds. It was a low, quiet, and completely involuntary noise.

My heart skipped a beat and my body trembled with fear, but still I pressed my lips against the hot skin of his sternum. He tasted of salt and sunshine. My lips curved into the smallest of smiles as Jacob gasped again. His fingers curled against my shoulders. He murmured, "Is that your answer, honey?"

"It's the best one I have." I whispered back. Thick fingertips played along the nape of my neck, causing me to break out in gooseflesh. The sky was dark, but I could tell it wasn't yet too late in the evening. I asked, "Did Charlie head home?"

"No. He's still at the Clearwaters'. Billy told him you were here with me."

I whispered, "Okay. I'm going home and back to sleep."

Jacob pleaded, "Let me drive you. You could fall asleep at the wheel."

"I don't think that would happen, but okay." I relented.

After a quiet ride, Jacob handed over the keys and gave me a soft, hesitant peck on the lips. It seemed my arms didn't listen to me and instead curled themselves around his waist once again. We hugged for what felt like the longest time. I clung to his warmth and crisp scent, rubbing my nose against his chest until he chuckled.

"Tickles, Bells."

A soft laugh escaped my lips as Jacob kissed the top of my head. His eyes grew serious as he rubbed his own nose against my cheek. After another smacking kiss to my head, Jacob jogged toward the trees. He called out, "I'll keep guard, Bells."

Charlie came home shortly after. I gave him a hug and he patted my back clumsily before trudging to his bedroom. He shut the door and didn't come back out again. The darkness still hadn't been able to hide his red nose and sniffles. My thoughts were occupied with Charlie for some time. I spent a moment looking out of my window, squinting.

Once or twice, I saw a hulking shadow that could have been Jacob. It wasn't until I was changing into my pajamas and crawling into bed that I suddenly remembered an odd word I had heard Jacob say in the clearing the night he fought Sam. It floated to the forefront of my memory as if it had always been there, but then slipped away like wisps of smoke. _Imprint. Imprint. She isn't your Imprint, Jacob!_


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

The next morning, Charlie was up and gone before I could manage to stumble downstairs. He had left a short note on the kitchen table. A quick look in the linen closet showed that his fishing gear was gone. With a sigh, I sipped on a cup of strong coffee. As I sipped, I tried to remember the dream I had the night before. There was something tickling the edge of my brain, but I couldn't figure out what. After eating a bowl of cold cereal, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I was washing my face and patting it dry when the house phone rang.

I ran downstairs and smashed my toe on edge of the table. Breathlessly, I picked up the phone. "Ow. Ow, damn. Hello?"

A smooth voice. "Bella. Good morning. Sorry to have bothered you so early."

"Carlisle?" I sucked in a gulp of air, "Oh, no. It's no bother."

"We are meant to meet with Jacob in two hours. Will you be attending?"

I instantly replied, "Definitely."

"That's good." Carlisle replied evenly, "We want you aware of our plans and think it best if you were present to hear all discussions first-hand."

"I agree." I nodded my head as I replied, "I'll be there."

"If at all possible, we would like to speak with you personally and without any wolves around. They are quite protective of you, which is certainly understandable, but their dispositions make it difficult. I believe there are those who would wish to talk privately. The rest of us would, of course, vacate the house for a time." He explained politely.

"I…Um, well…I'm not sure if I could…" I stuttered stupidly.

"None would ever dream of forcing you, Bella." Carlisle said after it became understandable that I was at a loss for words. "I was simply asked to pass along the message through Alice and Edward. We will see you soon."

I cleared my throat. "See you later, Carlisle."

"Goodbye, Bella." His smooth voice departed.

I was just hanging up the phone and turning when I noticed Jacob leaning against the doorjamb. I jumped, heart in my throat, as I let out a strangled squeak. Bent over, I put my hand to my heaving chest. "Damnit, Jake. Don't _do_ that to me."

"Sorry." He shortly replied. I frowned, taking in the dirt-smudges and thunderclap scowl. I whispered, "How much did you hear?"

"All of it." He snapped, "Oh, Bella. Come to our fancy house full of coffins. We'd just love to eat you for dinner."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "They don't sleep in coffins."

"How would I know?" He huffed, "Do I look like a bloodsucker to you?"

"Stop calling them that." I snapped, throwing my hands out in a frustrated gesture that he tracked with his dark eyes.

He retorted, "Why would I? That's what they are, Bella."

"Why are you backtracking now?" I wondered angrily, "Weren't you just saying you're going to work with them as allies?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to like them." Jacob growled lowly, "I don't know how in the hell you could like them after all they've done to you."

"They're just people, Jacob. We all make mistakes and they're offering help when they don't have to." I sighed heavily, "I'm not having this argument again. We're running in circles with this. I'm tired of it."

"Well, that makes two of us." He grumbled and followed me up the staircase. I glared over my shoulder and rudely asked, "What do you want?"

"Wanted to see you." He snapped back, "I guess not now, huh?"

I blinked in astonishment before huffing, "I wouldn't mind seeing you if you'd stop running your mouth all the time."

He sneered with a disgusting smirk. "Seems you don't mind my mouth at other times, mostly when it's on yours."

I gasped and tried slamming my bedroom door in his face, but he grabbed it with one hand and slammed it shut after stepping into the room. I said, "Get out."

"No." He folded his arms across his thick chest.

I took a step forward and glared. "I'm not playing, Jacob."

"Neither am I." He raised his chin.

I gestured wildly and demanded, "What are we really arguing over right now?"

He rasped, "You're going to do it. Go to them. Speak with him."

"I never told Carlisle that at all." I whispered as I abruptly lost my angry steam.

Jacob growled, "You didn't have to. I heard your hesitation. Saw your face."

"You don't know what you saw. You don't always know my mind." I snapped.

Jacob retorted, "Speaking _privately_ with Cullen. As if that's what he's after."

I flinched. "Stop being crude, Jacob."

"Just being honest." He demanded hotly, "You think all he wants is to talk?"

I broke and screeched, "He wants nothing to do with me, Jacob!"

"Really?" Jacob asked as his let his arms fall his sides. He flatly asked, "Why else would he want to _talk privately_ with you?"

"There is nothing between Edward and me. Isn't that what you want to hear?"

"NO!" He roared as he spun in a circle and yanked at his hair. I hastily backed away until my shoulders hit the window. "I want you to tell me you don't give a fuck what he wants. I want you to tell me you're going to stay at my side and trust me. I want you to choose me over Edward Fucking Cullen."

Jacob threw the bedroom door open and bounded down the stairs while growling. His bare back trembled horribly as he went. I heard the front door echo like a shotgun as it slammed shut. Flinching, I let my legs give out as I slid to the floor. With my head in my hands, my mind raced. It took a long time before my jumbled thoughts focused enough to remember the curious dream. It wasn't really a dream, but rather a memory from the night of Jacob and Sam's fight. The word. The word that didn't fit into Sam's explanations. _Imprint. Imprint. Imprint._

I sat and stared blankly at my bedroom walls. Eventually, I stood on wobbly legs. I dressed blindly in fresh clothes and grabbed my truck keys. It wasn't until I had locked the front door and was standing in the driveway that I realized I had no idea where the meeting was meant to take place. Even if it were to take place in the same clearing as before, I didn't know how to get there. I blinked down at the keys in my hand. _Great, Bella. Just great._

Jacob's bare feet crunched on gravel as he came to my side and snatched the keys out of my hand. He jumped into the truck, cranking the engine loudly. Slowly, I climbed into the passenger seat. He was reversing almost before I could close the truck door. I stared out the window silently as Jacob sped down the familiar roads. I knew that he would know what Sam had meant that night, but I wasn't sure which way would be best to broach the topic. Certainly, not when we were at odds with each other over the Cullens. My mind was still turning over possibilities as Jacob drove in thick silence.

Only once he slowed the truck and pulled onto a narrowed road did I realize we were heading to the Cullens' house. Jacob was forced to drive the truck much slower on the loopy, narrowed road. Twice, I saw glimpses of large wolves within the trees. They were running alongside the truck, making no noise and disappearing within seconds. Jacob slowed to a stop well away from the towering house. He muttered, "Jesus. Over the top much?"

Without a word, I unbuckled my seat and climbed from the truck. As I walked around the edge of the hood to meet Jacob, I saw them. One by one, the Cullens came out onto their large patio. Carlisle and Esme were the first to emerge. They stood side-by-side. I was distracted by two big wolves that trotted out from behind the coverage of trees. One was iron-grey and the other chocolate-brown. _Embry and Quil._ They came immediately to my side, although they weren't close enough to touch. Both smelled of rainwater and fresh earth. Both were panting. Low growls were percolating in their big chests.

I glanced back to toward the house as Carlisle said, "Good afternoon."

Jacob tersely said, "Let's get on with it, Cullen."

"Very well." Carlisle said with a small smile. "We believe Victoria has recruited individuals. We have no idea how she has persuaded any to her cause, but it seems she has three or more to do her bidding."

"Then, why haven't we come across another scent?" Jacob asked sharply.

"We are unsure." Carlisle explained carefully, "It is possible that Victoria has yet to bring her accomplices to Forks. What Alice has seen in visions is not much to expand upon, I do admit. However, I beg you to take our warnings to heart. Alice has a gift and it does not lie."

There was a pause in which I caught Jacob staring intensely above the house. I followed his dark gaze. Both Jasper and Emmett perched atop the roof. Neither were bothering to hide themselves. Both looked utterly calm and fierce. I gulped and looked back to Jacob. He let his gaze stay on the two for quite some time before Carlisle said, "They are not to move unless I tell them to do so."

Jacob's stare met the kind golden eyes of Carlisle Cullen. There was another tense pause before Jacob said, "What exactly has the little leech see-"

I elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. Wincing, I rubbed fitfully at my arm. Jacob gave me a look of incredulity before snapping, "What has _she_ seen?"

Carlisle opened his mouth, but Jacob cut him off quite rudely by demanding, "No. From her. I want to hear it directly from the little one."

The glass door opened slowly. Alice came out followed closely by Edward. Neither spoke at first and I tried desperately to ignore _his_ piercing stare. Alice kept her eyes firmly on Jacob as she said, "There is a blonde male. He seems to be a lover to Victoria, but she is only using him to further her purpose. This vampire finds Bella in the majority of my visions. More than once, he loses control and bites her before carrying her to Victoria in a panic. A few times, he attempts to kidnap her and we are in close pursuit. Usually, those are the visions in which Victoria races to his side and kills Bella before we can intervene."

There was an incredibly long silence. I glanced at Jacob only to find his face contorted in rage. His fingers were fisted and his shoulders trembled. The wolves on either side of us were alternating between growling and whimpering. Reaching out, my fingers touched Jacob's fist. I whispered, "It's okay. Just breathe."

He glanced at me and muttered, "Do you know what blonde male they could be talking about, Bella?"

"No." I whispered and shook my head.

"Your visions are absolute?" He gritted out from between his teeth as his head whipped around to glare at Alice. I watched the thick cords in his neck ripple beneath russet skin. Alice said, "Not at all. They can and have changed depending on people's actions and reactions."

Jacob's tense body remained so, but I could see his expression falling thoughtful. He demanded suddenly, "Has anything changed since I took over the pack?"

"Yes." She replied promptly, "Many of my visions show only the male successfully managing to get to Bella now. None of the possibilities include Victoria touching her while in Forks anymore."

"While in Forks." Jacob echoed fiercely, "What does that mean?"

"A new vision occurred early this morning." She explained, "It showed us working alongside you and your pack. You killed Victoria just south of your boarder, but it was a diversion tactic which resulted in the male kidnapping Bella while myself, Esme, and Carlisle were incapacitated. We later tracked them to Settle. Bella had been turned. She was a Newborn."

"Newborn?" Jacob growled, "A leech? That means leech, right?"

I inhaled shakily and crossed my arms over my stomach. Alice had answered in the affirmative, but Jacob's dark gaze was on me. He seemed as if he were waiting for me to confirm, so I nodded my head. "Yeah. That's what that means."

Jacob swore heavily. I stared blankly ahead as Embry and Quil let out piercing snarls that had me jolting. Jacob's arm lashed out, catching my elbow before I could fully register that I had stumbled.

"Alright." He spit out, "What's your brilliant plan?"

There was a pause before Carlisle said, "It's detrimental that Bella remain guarded at all times. In this, we must trust and work together, Jacob."

"I agree. We can take shifts. I want one of mine on her twenty-four-seven."

Carlisle explained politely, "We do not tire, Jacob. We do not eat or sleep. We require no rest. This is an advantage to you. Allow us the same treaty set forth as before. With it, I can station all of the members of my family strategically. We can end this quickly and without tragedy."

"Same rules. Same territories. Same treaty. One alteration." Jacob replied tersely, "A wolf will be on Bella at all times no matter where she goes. School, work, a store or a house. None will come anywhere near your home unless you've broken the treaty, a red-eyed leech runs this way, or Bella decides to come here herself. That's my deal, Cullen. Take it or leave."

"Wonderful." Carlisle replied, "I would like to say that we work better in pairs. Jasper and Emmett, if you could step down here for a moment, please?"  
Within the blink of an eye, the two men were standing on the porch. Jacob eyed them spitefully. Carlisle pointed to Jasper and said, "This is my son, Jasper. He is very familiar with battles and particularly Newborn vampires."

He gestured to Emmett and said, "This is my son, Emmett. He is the closest to your size and fighting style. We thought these two would do best working alongside the territory boarders."

"Yeah. We'll see about that." Jacob sighed before saying, "They can take the north boarder at night. The redhead slipped through the mountains many times."

"Yes. Jasper thought similarly as well." Carlisle evenly said, "My wife and I, along with Rosalie, our daughter, would be willing to monitor the inner portions of town at any time that is suitable to you. Late night and early morning seem to be Victoria's preferred time of travel."

There was a pause before Jacob nodded curtly. Carlisle said, "As for Bella's house, we believe two of our own should guard her until the threat is diminished. Alice and Edward-"

I winced just as Jacob's lips peeled back and he let out a deep-throated snarl. Embry and Quil stood up, hackles raised and muzzles snapping.

"She isn't property, Jacob." Edward spoke silkily. Carlisle put out a cautioning hand, which rested upon Edward's shoulder. "The way you act, one would think she were nothing more than a favored toy to you."

"Go to hell." Jacob snapped back, "And stop talking about her like she isn't standing right here. If I say or do something to piss her off, Bells will let me know."

"I don't see how she could possibly get a word in edgewise with all the vulgar nonsense you're constantly shouting about." Edward coolly replied.

Jacob growled, "Your opinion isn't needed, asshole."

"You're only proving my point." Edward pointed out dangerously.

Jacob sarcastically replied, "We've got bigger issues to deal with than your whining bullshit. Be quiet while I talk to Daddy Vamp over here."

My jaw dropped. Jacob glanced at me and raised an eyebrow. I narrowed my gaze. He smirked.

"Gentlemen, please. We solve nothing by bickering." Carlisle spoke up, "Edward and Alice have strong gifts. Edward is telepathic and that is an incredible advantage right now, Jacob. That is why we believe he should guard Bella. She is the target and he is capable of hearing thoughts miles before an individual would reach her. You can see the usefulness of such a thing, yes?"

"Hear thoughts…" Jacob echoed quietly.

He cut a glance at me and asked, "Bells?"

"It's true." I mumbled, clutching my stomach tighter.

Jacob muttered, "Of course it is. Damnit. Okay. Fine. Pixie and Wonder-Hair guard Bella, too. They'll have to deal with a wolf. It'll be Quil or me most days."

"That sounds reasonable." Carlisle replied, "As far as schooling, Edward and Alice have been enrolled. During week days, she will be secure. The two will guard her house after hours as well. This will allow you and yours a more flexible schedule."

"Great." He muttered, "Start the patrols tonight. I'll talk to my guys. You'd do best to remember to stay on your side. No accidental slip ups because I can promise you, Cullen, if any of you cross our boarder you won't make it back to the other side in one piece. Depending on who you meet, you might not make it back out at all."

"Understood." Carlisle quietly said. There was a pause in which many pairs of golden eyes glanced my way. Jacob asked, "Ready to go, Bells?"

I looked at his taut jaw, trembling shoulders, and worried eyes. I hesitated, but the look in his eyes had me nodding. I wordlessly held out my hand with my palm upright. Frowning, Jacob dropped the keys into my palm. Spinning on my heel, I made my way to my truck. Climbing into the driver's seat, I cranked the engine.

Jacob said, "Guess this means I'm walking home."

I sighed, "Get in the truck, you jerk."

Smirking, Jacob hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door. I watched Embry and Quil dart into the thick coverage of trees before reversing and making my way to the highway. We drove in silence for a time before I said, "I can't keep doing this, Jacob. I can't handle the whip lash."

"What are you talking about, Bells?" He asked, perplexed.

I mumbled, "The mood swings. The times when you suddenly decide you want to be mean and then switch back to acting normal again."

Jacob slowly said, "I'm irritated, sure, but I thought…Hell, I thought I stayed kind of calm with the Cullens. What do you want me to say, Bella? I'd rather them disappear. Instead, I'm trying to do what you want me to do. I'm trying to work alongside them."

"I don't expect you to be _nice_ to the Cullens." I sighed, "I don't expect you to agree with everything I say, either, but I won't deal with you purposely picking fights with me, Jake. I'm not game to do that."

"Are you talking about this morning?" He sighed, "Look. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'm sorry."

_"Jacob,"_ I snapped, "I don't give a crap about a temper. I have one as well, so that would make me pretty hypocritical, don't you think?"

"What is it, then?" He asked just as snappishly.

We pulled into my driveway and I slowly shut the engine off. There was dread building in my stomach as I glanced at him. The cab was warm and I could easily smell his crispy, spicy scent. I whispered, "The jealousy."

Jacob's face was blank as he looked away from me quickly. I could see that he was grinding his teeth together. "I can't help it, Bella."

"It's too much." I quietly said. "There's no need for it."

"Isn't there?" He spoke just as quietly. "Isn't there every need for it? Sometimes…"

There was a pause. I watched his neck move as he swallowed. Jacob slowly said, "Sometimes, I feel like if I don't do _something,_ then you're going to float away. Float right back in time and not be…my Bells anymore."

I sighed, "I'm still Bells. Whether the Cullens are here or not, I'm still me."

"Maybe." He hedged as he looked out at the forest. "But you aren't mine. That's what bothers me and that's what you don't want me to ever say out loud, but I've done it now. You keep saying you can't do this, but neither can I, Bella."

Jacob faced me with eyes full of burning dark chocolate. He whispered, "You go back to school tomorrow. No more spring break. They'll be there. Right next to you. Every day, all day until you graduate. What's to say he doesn't speak to you? What's to say you don't end up sitting together at lunch or walking to class together? What's to say…you don't forgive him and date the son of a bitch again?"

Blinking rapidly, I fumbled with the door and rolled down the window. I took several deep breaths. The last one came out quite shaky as I said, "He wants nothing to do with me. I've told you so before. Edward and his family left for a better life. They were bored. He was bored. With me."

"He's a fucking dumbass." Jacob replied flatly.

I flinched and we fell into silence. Eventually he said, "That's the only thing."

"What?" I croaked, glancing at his side profile.

Jacob murmured, "That's the only thing that keeps you from going to him. The fact that he got bored. I really don't have a snowball's chance in hell, do I?"

With that, he opened the truck door and slid from the seat. Jacob gently shut the door and began walking away. The soft thump of the door sent my heart thundering far more than a slam would have. Jacob was barefoot and shirtless, as was his usual attire, as he headed for the edge of Charlie's property. For some odd reason, I noticed the way his feet sunk into the muddy lawn. He left behind very wide and long prints. And I was terrified by the thought of those prints remaining while he didn't.

Stumbling from the truck, I took off at a jog. I gasped, "Jake."

He didn't turn around, but hesitated. He cast one look over his shoulder before nimbly climbing over a fallen log and disappearing behind thick foliage. I cried out, "Jacob! Jacob Black!"

Pushing at leaves, I bashed my knee on the very same log Jacob had so easily climbed over. Huffing in frustration, I rubbed at my kneecap as I squinted into the gloomy darkness. Logically, I knew just a few steps behind me was the edge of Charlie's property and just beyond that was a flat, clear expanse of lawn that would bring me to my house. And yet I was standing inside of a lush, dark canopy of green. It was like I had stepped into an entirely different world. The trees were impossibly thick and ridiculously tall. The forest floor was littered with debris. As I took a cautious step forward, I eyed a pile of vividly green boulders that were covered in algae. I huffed, "Jacob. Jake, come on."

I took another step, scanning the area. Just trees. I called out, "Jake! Please, come back. We can talk. Please, don't leave me out here like this."

There was the snap of a twig. I whirled around. My heart was pounding in my chest as I took in the sight. He was leaning against a tree trunk with his thick arms crossed over his naked chest. His heavy brows were lowered, full lips pressed thin, and mocha eyes incredibly dark. Jacob's deep, russet skin was gleaming as if he were sweating. I was surprised he didn't set the forest on fire by will alone.

He said, "I wouldn't have abandoned you out here. I'm not him."

We stared at each other for a moment. I slowly said, "I can't tell you I won't speak with him because I might. I can't tell you I hate him because I don't. What I can tell you is that I won't lie to you, Jake. I won't ever lie to you. I won't ever stop being your friend."

Jacob snorted, curiously shining eyes rolling upward as the muscles in his jaw twitched. He grumbled, "Your 'let's be friends' speech sucks hard, Bella."

I sighed, "That isn't what I said. Those words never left my mouth."

He grumbled, "It's what you mean, though, isn't it?"

"I always want to be your friend, Jake." I replied softly.

He insisted, "You know as well as I do, we've never been _just_ friends, Bells."

"What are you getting at, Jacob?" I asked in exasperation, "Why point out what we both already know?"

He pointed at me and gestured angrily. "That's the thing. You're so frustrating because you already _know_ everything."

I erupted, "Know _what?_ That I care about you? That nobody has ever understood me the way you do? That you're a werewolf and they're vampires and I'm caught in the middle?"

He hesitated before whispering, "Just one answer, Bella. A truthful answer. No vague replies. No changing the subject. No getting mad and stomping away."

I muttered, "Fine. What is it?"

There was a pause that felt like infinity. He stared at me, hands and shoulders twitching as I stared back at him. He swallowed heavily and opened his mouth. He snapped his jaw shut as his eyebrows slammed down over his forehead. Jacob took a deep breath and slowly asked, "Do you love me…?"

My body jolted as if I were electrocuted. The silence between us stretched, a great yawning hole, that threatened to drown us both. In that moment, I knew I could walk away, regardless of what he had said previously. I could deflect. I could offer a lame joke. I could walk forward and hug him, kiss him even, and Jacob would give in to me. I could go on without putting such an answer out into the universe. I could leave Jacob floundering right at the edge of the forest behind my house. I could leave him adrift like a rotten log at sea. As I stood there, contemplating, I realized Jacob would survive losing me.

He would suffer as surely as the moon fell from the sky each morning. Rain and wind would batter him, tearing at his skin and pulling tears from his eyes, but Jacob was too brilliant to remain defeated. He was too bright. Too wholesome. Too strong. Deep down, beyond the monsters and roaring waves on the ocean floor, lie a gentle man with a golden heart. I couldn't let him continue drifting. Not when I could offer my hand and save him from the painful storm.

I walked forward, taking in the hope and fear written across his face as if someone had stamped the emotions onto his forehead with ink. I reached out and slid my arms around his neck. His skin was slick and hot. I whispered, "Yes."

"Yes?" He echoed breathlessly as he looked down. Jacob's arms tightened around my waist and he buried his face into my neck as I whispered to him.

"Yes, Jake. You know I love you, don't you?"

He choked on a chuckle. "Yeah, but I wasn't sure if you realized it yourself."

I murmured, "It took a while, but I realized it eventually."

"But…?" He questioned dryly.

I hedged, "I'm still…messed up."

Jacob thoughtfully said, "Can I ask one more question?"

"You're pushing your luck and my patience." I huffed lowly.

"Okay. Alright. I did say just one. Sorry." He replied hastily.

"Ugh." I groaned, "One more question and that's it."

There was a pause. "Do you hesitate with me because…you're still in love with him?"

I faltered, pressing my lips together. More than once I was distracted as Jacob's lips and breath caressed my neck. I cleared my throat and croaked, "No."

"Okay." He murmured and pressed an open-mouth kiss to my collarbone. I gasped and he chuckled, cruising his lips along my throat. "Tilt this way, honey."

I did as he ordered in a daze. My heart rate was steadily increasing and my eyes felt heavy. I desperately wanted his lips on mine, but my tongue felt thick as if I couldn't speak. My fingers curled around his shoulders. My entire body grew warm quite quickly. Jolts of pleasure shot through me every time I felt the tip of his tongue lap softly at my skin. When he sucked my earlobe into his mouth and nibbled, I let out an embarrassing whimper.

"Jake, I-I can't keep standing up."

"I got you, baby." He whispered against the hollow of my throat. I squeaked in surprised when his long arms hefted me upward. Spinning us around, I found my back pressed against a tree with Jacob's thigh wedged in between mine. His arms secured me in place as he leaned down, pressing his smiling lips to the tip of my nose.

"Do I make you weak in the knees, Bells?"

"Shut up." I muttered as my cheeks flushed red. "Just kiss me."

He hummed under his breath, "Happily."


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

School began again and I found myself hating it more than I ever had before. While it was a good distraction at times, it was nothing more than an incredible nuisance now. At the start of my senior year, a lifetime ago, Edward had arranged things so he would be in all of my chosen classes. Then, I had been extremely pleased. Now, it was a dreadful curse. On the first Monday back after spring break, I tried to duck my head and ignore all of the excited whispers.

The Cullens were back. The hallways seemed to whisper excitedly. I kept my head down and tried to ignore everyone, yet I still heard the cover story. It was the same as it had been before, except now people believed Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie were off to college. Dr. Cullen was with those three in San Diego while Mrs. Cullen stayed here in Forks with their two senior teenagers, Edward and Alice. The family would all come together again once Edward and Alice graduated. It was surprising to me how easily the population bought their stories. As I struggled through my morning, I contemplated and finally decided that it was a potent mixture of their cleverness and dazzling eyes that made them so believable.

I told myself not to feel guilt or agitation, but I was stuck with both. The agitation I had grown used to over the months. The guilt was unbearable. It was everywhere like the green of moss and algae in Forks. I saw it in the sad looks Alice cast my way every morning. I saw it in the hubcaps of a shiny silver Volvo as it pulled out of the school parking lot and followed me safely home. I saw it in the way Angela patted me quietly on the shoulder at lunch and the way Jessica constantly elbowed me in the ribs, excitedly informing me every single time Edward was staring from across a room. I saw it in the hasty turnarounds I performed in the hallways in order to avoid potential close-contact.

The guilt was in the way I couldn't sleep at night without Jacob at my side. In how I paced the floorboards at two in the morning, wanting so badly for him to tap on my window, but knowing he was busy chasing down a mad killer. For me. It was in the way I stared obsessively out the window at night, hoping and hating every time I caught sight of a pale blur or a hulking wolf at the trees' edge. Guilt was golden eyes and pale skin and mocha chocolate gazes and russet skin. It was in the suffocating silence.

I didn't see Jacob for more than a handful of seconds the first week the Cullens were back. A part of me wondered how much of that was due to patrolling and how much was due to his own upset. I sent text messages to his cellphone each night. Just a simple goodnight, but he never replied. I wondered if he ever had his cellphone on him. I thought not considering he had no pockets when running through the forest as a huge wolf. I had seen him in wolf form a handful of times, giving me burning stares late at night once Charlie was sleeping in bed. He never came to my window and usually trotted back into the shadows after I had seen him. _He's upset too, Bella._

I never spoke to Edward. In fact, I never even glanced at him if I could help it. Once or twice, I caught his beautiful image out of the corner of my eyes in classrooms. It was nearly impossible to look away if his golden stare caught mine, so I made a point of never looking at all. It was difficult, incredibly so, considering we were in the same room every hour of my time at school. I was both relieved and disappointed that he had yet to force me to talk to him. Once upon a time, he had appeared out of thin air at every opportunity. He would speak in riddles and offer quick, wicked smirks that never failed to irk me. Whenever these memories crept up on me, my chest would ache horribly. I would hastily busy myself with the nearest task in order to calm myself down. Guilt gnawed at my gut to the point of queasiness.

As much as I hated myself for it, Edward still called to me on some unexplainable level. He still held my attention if he was within vicinity. A part of me, where the guilt resided the deepest, wanted to speak to him. To whisper. To touch. To forgive and love once more. And yet every time I thought of such treacherous things, Jacob would force his way into my mind. My heart. My soul. My Jacob. He was like the sun on an early morning, full of peaches and cream and peace. He was sunshine and a breath of fresh air. He called to me, too. It wasn't an overpowering tug on my navel when I was around Jacob, but more like a slow emergence in fresh, warm water. There was no holding my breath as a cocktail of anxiety and yearning choked me. There was no icy cold sense of wonder and awe piercing me in the chest as golden eyes stared. No urgency. No fear. No extreme caution. None of that trepidation existed with Jacob. It was horrible of me to compare the two, but I did so anyway.

My time with Edward had been surreal as if another person had lived it. His world was magical, exhilarating, and daring. Every moment had been fraught with danger that had me somehow craving more in a way that left no room for any other feeling. To be without him had been intolerable even for a few hours. His touch was God himself. His silence or disappoint was the ultimate punishment. Edward had consumed me as no other ever had before and never would again. I knew, in a way, my attraction for Edward surpassed that for Jacob. I hated myself for admitting it. And it was after I admitted my debilitating attraction to Edward that I realized I didn't _want_ him. I loved him. Respected him. Admired him. Craved him fiercely. Yet, I was terrified of him. Had always been terrified of him. Terrified of his almost unnatural hold on me and what that meant.

As I sat on the porch after dinner one night, I came to another realization. The Bella with Edward had not been the Bella who stood before him now. _That_ Bella would have given anything, done anything, been anything, in order to remain at Edward's side. She wouldn't have avoided meeting his gaze. She wouldn't have allowed another male into her bedroom. She would have, and nearly had, died just to be near him. Her most coveted wish had been simply to be his. Any other aspirations had simply disappeared within the light of his magnificent presence. How incredibly narrow-minded, near-sighted, and stupid had _that_ Bella been. Still, she had bypassed every danger with bravery that might be considered admirable to certain individuals, but the throughout the entire relationship, that Bella waited anxiously for him to realize how feeble she was. How weak. Plain. Clumsy. Boring. Prudish.

I shook my head in disgust and leaned deeper into Charlie's wooden rocking chair. My eyes were trained on the trees, which were swaying slightly in the late evening breeze. For a moment, I saw a flash of bronze hair high upon the top of a fir. My heart skipped a beat before pounding in my chest. I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself.

Over time, my deepest fears had come true, hadn't they? Edward had crushed me as surely as Tyler's van would have a year ago had Edward not saved me. I would have stayed with Edward through everything and anything. It wasn't blustering, but outright fact. I would have forsaken my parents- kind and loyal Charlie, eccentric and bubbly Renee- to become a vampire. I would have given up my life and the few friends I had made. Kind Angela, snide Jessica, persistent Mike, nerdy Eric. The first friends I had ever really made. I would have left them and, had I stayed with Edward, I would have never discovered the true brilliance of Jacob Black.

I wanted to say all of this to him, to Jacob, but I wasn't sure how to do so. A few times I had tried writing letters, blushing all the while, but I threw each one into the waste basket next to the desk in my bedroom. I had written it so many ways. _I love him and I always will, but I love you, too. Edward consumes me in a way I can't explain, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I don't want to be this way. You deserve better, Jake. I don't know what to do, Jacob. I don't want you hurt. How can it be possible to love two people at the same time? You were right. We were never just friends. Somehow you were always my Jacob, even when we had that first talk about car cylinders on the beach. I love you, Jacob, that will never change. I won't leave you like he left me._

It was later that night, as I tried to write yet another letter, that all of my conflicting thoughts solidified into a single sharp point. Jacob had never left me. And that made all the difference. With a sigh, I left the half-written letter on my desk and kicked my sweatpants off before crawling under the blankets. My eyes fluttered for a time, but I eventually fell into a restless sleep. When I woke sometime later it was to a warm and wet kiss being pressed to my forehead. Mumbling, I rolled over only to find my window open and the room empty. Cold night air flowed into the room as the curtains danced about. Stumbling to my feet, I frowned and stuck my head outside. A reddish-brown tail flickered just as it disappeared within the foliage.

Turning back toward my bed, I realized my desk lamp was on. Walking forward, I went to flick it off. My arm froze in mid-air. My waste basket was sitting on the chair. Empty. No more crumbled balls of paper. I frantically searched, but couldn't find a single scrape of old paper. Atop the desk lay a single sheet of paper and a pen, but it wasn't my clumsy scrawl that I saw. It was a slanted, neat set of block letters that read: _I would never leave you, Bella, unless you wanted me to. Even though walking away from you would be the hardest thing I've ever done, I will do it if you need me to. I don't want to tear you in two, honey. I love you too much for that. Your Jacob._

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I reread the letter. Once. Twice. A third time. Carefully, I placed it back on the desk. I stuck my head out my window and whispered loudly, "Jake. Jake, do you hear me? Jacob!"

I waited with ears and eyes intently focused. There was only the sound of the night breeze and subtle rustling of leaves. I called once more and then jumped when I saw a big, boxy head pop out from behind a large tree trunk. Squinting, I tried to make out the wolf's features. I said, "Wait, whoever the heck you are. Just stay right there."

I slipped my discarded sweatpants on and darted down the stairs, tripping and pausing with baited breath. Once I was assured Charlie was still snoring upstairs, I walked out of the back door and in the general direction I had seen the wolf. He purposely put one big paw out in the open. I changed direction slightly and came nearly nose-to-snout with a massive beast. It cocked its large head to the side as I stepped behind a hemlock. I glanced at the house, making sure I wasn't visible, before turning back to the wolf. Chocolate fur. Quil.

"Quil?" I questioned quietly.

A big head nodded and a pink tongue lolled out. He panted happily. I giggled and said, "Okay. Um, where's Jake? He was here a minute ago, wasn't he?"

The wolf cocked his head to the side before jumping up. I stumble and would have fallen had my back not hit a trunk. Quil let out a quiet rumble. He darted away. I whispered frantically, "Hey! Wait!"

There was rustling and the whisper of a zipper. A very human Quil, who was mostly naked, walked out with a bright grin. "Hey, Bells. Looking great."

I glanced down at my ratty sweatpants and thin tanktop. My bra was black and easily showed through the light grey material of the shirt. Blushing, I crossed my arms over my breasts. I cleared my throat and mumbled, "Just wanted to know if Jake was around or not."

"He just left." Quil said, "I'm on duty until dawn."

I reluctantly replied, "Thanks, Quil. Wish you didn't have to watch over me."

"I don't mind. It beats school any day." He carelessly shrugged.

I sighed, "Watching me must be pretty boring, though."

"Sometimes, but then I just hunt down game. It's fun." Quil grinned sharply.

"Um…you guys…um…eat animals while in wolf form?" I asked clumsily.

He laughed, "I've never tried it. Mostly I just scare the deer."

"Right. Well. Interesting." I nodded my head cautiously.

He suddenly asked, "Do you want me to try to get ahold of Jake?"

"Oh, no." I hastily reassured, "No, that's alright."

"You sure? Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly.

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no, Quil. I guess I should get some rest."

Quil nodded while a frown. "Okay. See you later, Bella."

I nodded and slowly made my way back inside. It was still dark out, but a quick glance at the clock face in the living room told me that it was an hour before dawn. With a sigh, I climbed the stairs and took a long shower. By the time I dried and brushed my hair, Charlie's alarm was blaring across the hallway. I dressed in jeans and a navy-blue sweater. Pulling my hair into a tail, I went to the kitchen and made a quick breakfast. By the time Charlie meandered down, I had hot cinnamon oatmeal, buttered toast, and scrambled eggs on the table.

He sat down just as I handed over a cup of freshly brewed coffee. After taking a slurping mouthful, Charlie mumbled, "Thanks, Bells."

"Welcome, Dad." I said as I sat across from him. I picked fitfully at my bowl of oatmeal. By the time Charlie had finished and put his dishes in the sink, I had eaten only half of my serving. Charlie tucked his gun belt around his waist and said, "Bye, Bells. Have a nice day at school."

"Bye, Dad." I said. As soon as the door shut, I scooted away from the table and scraped my half-eaten food into the trash can. I washed the soiled dishes and scrubbed the table before heading upstairs to brush my teeth. I sat on the edge of my bed and reread Jacob's letter once more. I spent some time restlessly pacing before punching in Jacob's number into my cellphone. I waited. His cellphone rang and rang before going to voicemail. Biting my lip, I sat on my bed. I typed out a text message and erased it. I tried again and again before settling on a simple: _Can I see you soon?_

My thumb hovered for a long moment before I pressed SEND. Grabbing my battered backpack, I locked the front door and headed for my truck. I was running a bit later than usual, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Once the cab was toasty warm, I backed out of the driveway and headed to school. I wasn't surprised, despite my late timing, to find a silver Volvo directly behind me only a minute after I left home. My stomach tightened painfully. The lot was full of vehicles as I pulled in, so it took a while to find a parking spot. The Volvo parked five spots away from me. I tried to focus on my feet as I walked. My first period class had already begun, so I was forced to go to the main office for a pass.

I sat mindlessly through my morning classes. My grades had surely dropped drastically at the beginning of the year due to my zombie-like state. As time went on, I managed to increase my percentages marginally. It mattered, but not nearly as much as it once had. My depression over the Cullens had ruined any chance of a scholarship. I could never imagine leaving Forks to attend college, anyway, even if a scholarship was offered to me. I had grown so fond of Charlie and the idea of him being alone was enough to make me want to cry. When pamphlets were handed out in the hallways for various colleges, I just shook my head and kept walking. I listened to Jessica babble on in Spanish, nodding or mumbling when appropriate. Twice I checked my cellphone when the teacher wasn't looking. Both times my heart sunk with disappointment. Jacob hadn't replied.

When the bell rang for lunch, I slowly made my way to my locker. I chunked textbooks inside and slammed the locker door closed. Jessica had jumped on Mike nearly the moment he came out of his classroom with Eric in tow. I trialed behind them all. When Lauren joined, Jessica went to her side and starred gossiping about the Cullens. Lauren was enviously talking about Alice's shirt while Jessica was sighing over Edward's hair. I glanced at the subject of their talk without meaning to. Both Edward and Alice were sitting at a wooden picnic table in the rarely used courtyard. There were bottles of water sitting in front of them. Golden eyes had my heart skipping a beat. I glanced toward the parking lot in an attempt to pull my eyes away. And my feet ground to a halt. I stumbled right into Mike's back. He caught my elbows and chuckled, "Whoa, Bella. You good?"

I snapped my jaw shut and glanced at Mike's smiling face before pulling out of his hold. I said, "Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine, Mike."

"Come on." He said as he glanced at our group, which had walked several paces ahead. I could still hear Lauren and Jessica chattering loudly. I glanced back at the parking lot and said, "Um. Actually, I need to go to my truck for something."

Mike frowned as he followed my gaze. He flatly said, "Oh. It's him."

I rolled my eyes and started across the parking lot. I didn't bother looking behind me, but instead focused on what was in front of me. Leaning against my truck, tall and dark and smirking, was Jacob. He wore a white t-shirt that fit his shoulders and arms in a way that made me blush. Over that he wore a black leather jacket. His jeans were stained and had a hole at one knee. His ankles were crossed casually and on his big feet were a pair of dark brown hiking boots. I had gotten so used to him wearing nothing but cut-off denims that I found myself confused by his layers of clothing. His arms opened as I came closer. Smoothly and effortlessly, Jacob scooped me up into a hug before I had time to overthink.

My arms went around him after a moment. He lingered, breathing in my scent as I breathed in his. He whispered, "Missed you, honey."

There was a slight shift inside of my chest, so seemingly insignificant, just a lessening of tightness that allowed me to breathe deeply once more. I grazed my cheek against the fabric of his shirt and murmured, "Missed you, too."

I could feel his hot breath tickling the top of my head. Jacob's nose was rubbing back and forth in the same rhythm as his big palms against my lower back. I could feel strands of my hair getting stuck against his chin. The roughness of his skin let me know he had stubble across his jawline, which was weaving together with the long strands of my hair. He quietly asked, "Do you want to ditch with me?"

My body tensed slightly. I pulled away and his hands stilled on my waist, holding me gently in place. I had to crane my neck backward to look up at his tall figure. "Ditch? Don't you have to patrol?"

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I stopped patrolling the Rez at dawn. Slept for a while. I'm on Bella Duty until midnight now. I'm yours until then."

I glanced back at the school buildings, trying valiantly to not look at the two pale and flawless figures perched so still on a wooden picnic table. I couldn't catch sight of Mike or anyone else, so I assumed the group were chattering and eating in the cafeteria. I bit my lip, debating for a moment, before turning back to find Jacob staring intensely at me. It was a dark, indulgent look like chocolate and brownies on a cold day. My heart skipped a beat. Jacob smiled brightly and chuckled, "Are you scared, Bells?"

"No." I retorted with a roll of my eyes, "Let's go before lunch is over."

"Yes." He happily declared, "I actually convinced you."

I snorted, "Honestly, it wasn't that difficult. I hate it here."

"Let me have my moment of glory, would you?" He dramatically sighed.

I tried not to smile. "Are you trying to tell me what to do, Jacob Black?"

He gave me another breezy smile before climbing into the passenger side. Once I cranked the truck, we were off. I asked, "Mine or yours?"

Jacob looked at me oddly for a moment before saying, "Yours."

When we walked into the house, I went right to the kitchen and began making sandwiches with leftover roasted turkey breasts. I pulled out a wooden cutting board and grabbed tomatoes out of the refrigerator. There was no noise behind me as I worked. No thudding footsteps or brushing of fabric against fabric. No throat clearing or loud breathing. No sniffling. Jacob was deadly silent now. I glanced over my shoulder to see him sitting at the kitchen counter while watching me. His full lips pulled up into a grin and I nearly sliced my fingertips. Squeaking, I faced forward and concentrated on what I was meant to be doing. Jacob asked, "You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah." I continued chopping and mumbled, "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno." He sighed, "Maybe…you know…because of the letters."

Biting my lip, I smeared a thin layer of mayonnaise on a slice of wheat bread. I assembled the sandwich carefully as I spoke. "You weren't meant to read any of those."

He earnestly said, "I didn't mean to sneak, Bella. I just…it was wrong of me."

"You could have woken me up and talked." I quietly replied.

He said, "I know, but you looked peaceful. Wanted you to get some shut eye."

"You need it more than I do." I said, "You could have stayed the night."

"I wanted to, but wasn't sure if you wanted me around." He whispered.

I sighed as I went to the pantry and pulled out a fresh bag of potato chips. I popped the seal and handed them over to Jacob along with a plate stacked with two turkey sandwiches. I was digging through the refrigerator, taking entirely too long on purpose, when I finally mustered up a reply.

"Of course, I want you around. If I didn't, I would say so."

Jacob's voice was deep and sad when he said, "I wasn't so sure. I meant what I wrote to you last night, Bella. If I'm only making you hurt, I'll go."

Grabbing a pitcher half-filled with lemonade, I poured Jacob a glass and brought it to the table. I avoided his eyes and focused on slowly setting the glass down. As I turned to go back to the counter top to clean my mess, Jacob gently touched my hand. His thumb rubbed a tender rhythm as he whispered, "I understand. I think I get what you haven't been able to say, Bella."

"Really?" I croaked as hot tears burned behind my closed eyes. My chin wobbled embarrassingly. I wiped at my face as I muttered, "That's amazing because I don't understand it myself."

"You do." Jacob quietly said, "You know what you want to do. It seemed clear enough to me written right there on paper."

Blushing, I took my hand from his and walked across the kitchen. My hands were clumsy and slow as I washed the cutting board. I heard Jacob swallowing heavily from his glass. The tinkling of ice a moment later had me reaching for the pitcher. I poured more while still avoiding his eyes. I said, "You're right."

I took the pitcher and poured a second glass. Sitting across from him, I stared at my hands. My throat was dry, so I sipped on the lemonade as Jacob ate. I knew he wasn't looking at me anymore, but paying strict attention to his food. I knew, not just because I heard him crunching on chips, but because I couldn't feel the hot burn of his gaze.

I mumbled, "It's easier for me…when I don't have to see him. Any of them."

Jacob didn't speak. I heard him crunch on another chip. I inhaled deeply and said, "I have to talk to him, though. I don't want to, but I have to."

There was a pause and I lifted my eyes. Jacob was staring now, but his mocha eyes were gentle as he whispered, "I know."

We lapsed back into silence. Those two words were like scissors snipping away at ropes around my wrists. The binding chaffed afterward, but relief flooded me once the sting was gone. I croaked, "I feel sick just thinking about it."

"I'll be nearby, Bells." Jacob evenly said, "At school. Here. Wherever. Just tell me when and I'll be there for you, honey."

"School." I mumbled, "Seems the easiest place."

"Okay." Jacob replied and reached for his glass of lemonade. I watched his throat move as he drank. He licked his lips and it reminded me of childhood memories. Smiling wobbly, I took a sip from my glass. After he finished eating, we went upstairs. I sat at my desk and worked through Trig homework while Jacob snored softly on my bed. At half past five o'clock, I turned on my bedside radio in order to drown out his snoring. I went downstairs and hastily threw together spaghetti and meatballs. I was just pulling garlic bread from the oven when Charlie walked through the front door.

After making a rather large plate and setting it aside, I cleaned the kitchen and talked briefly with Charlie about his day. He was eating quickly at the table, taking peeks at the television, which was loudly broadcasting a baseball game. Rather happy that he wouldn't be able to hear Jacob's snores, I grabbed the heaping plate of pasta and a glass of water before heading upstairs. Charlie called out, "Why aren't you eating down here, Bella?"

"Too much homework, Dad!" I called back, "Sorry. Goodnight."

The loud voices had woken Jacob, whose dark eyes were heavy when I walked in. He was in the process of sitting up. I tried desperately not to stare at his naked chest. I failed miserably. Tripping over my feet, I sloshed some of the iced water down my front. Huffing, I handed over the plate of pasta to a snickering Jacob. He plucked the glass from my hand and said, "Thanks."

I sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the wet fabric of my T-shirt away from my skin as Jacob heartily dug into his meal. I heard footsteps and nearly panicked, darting to my bedroom door and throwing the lock quickly. Sticking my ear to the wood, I heard Charlie clearing his throat and shuffling into the bathroom. With a sigh, I turned around to find an amused Jacob watching me as he stuffed his mouth full of warm bread. I pointed a finger at him and firmly whispered, "No peeking."

Frowning, Jacob watched as I walked to my dresser and pulled out an old, ratty T-shirt and cotton shorts. I motioned quickly and Jacob closed his eyes, plate in one hand and bread in the other. I undressed and hurriedly pulled on my pajamas while darting nervous glances toward Jacob, who loyally remained with eyes shut. After stumbling about, I sat on the edge of the bed once more.

Jacob smirked and asked, "Finished?"

"Open your eyes and eat." I replied as I pulled my messy hair into a ponytail. He was still smirking, dark eyes sparkling, as he ate the last of his food. When he went to set the plate on the nightstand I asked, "Good?"

"Oh, yeah." Jacob replied, "Better than Dad's for sure."

I let out a chuckle before saying, "Always so complimentary."

"To you, yeah." Jacob gave me a wink, which had me snorting and rolling my eyes even though I felt my cheeks warming up. There was a pause before I asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yup." He said before adding, "I'll sleep even better if you would slide in beside me. What do you say, Bells?"

I smiled and whispered, "Sure, sure. Scoot over."


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

I slept horribly, jolting awake more than once. Jacob was a deep sleeper and thankfully continued snoring. At dawn, just as the sky began to lighten, Jacob rolled over and kissed my temple. The softness of his lips and the brushing of his fingertips over the shell of my ear made my heart patter off-kilter, which he heard with his stupidly acute werewolf senses. "Bells?" He murmured huskily.

"I'm awake." I croaked and winced at the hoarse sound of my own voice. With Jacob, that husky note was deep and soothing. With me, it was harsh and ugly. I sat up and dizzy from lack of sleep. Dark hooded eyes watched me intensely as I wiped at my own dry eyes. I mumbled, "Let me grab you something quick to eat."

Stumbling down the staircase, I ran into the kitchen. I dug through the pantry only to return with a strawberry pastry and an apple. He took both gratefully and swallowed the offerings in two bites. Jacob chugged a half-empty glass of tepid water on the nightstand before cracking his neck. I winced and said, "Sounds painful."

He hummed and sent a smile my way before correcting, "Feels great."

I replied, "You're going to have arthritis before you're thirty."

"I doubt it." Jacob chuckled and stood up. There was a pause before he raised his eyebrows and asked, "You going to be okay?"

I shrugged and muttered, "Sure, sure."

He sighed, "Stupid question. Sorry. I'll pick you up today. Meet you at three."

"At school?" I asked, standing up and wrapping my arms around his waist. Jacob returned the hug instantly, engulfing me in big arms. His warmth slowly began to seep through my clothing. I muttered, "Don't want you rearranging schedules just for me, Jake. I'd rather make things easier for you."

"It's no problem. I'm about to go on a shift and I'll be done around two in the afternoon. That will give me enough time to grab a bite to eat and head your way." He explained quietly, "Don't worry about me, Bells. I can take care of it all."

My fingers clutched at his naked back when he tried to pull away a moment later. Jacob chuckled with arms tightening around me once more. He crouched and playfully rubbed his chin across the crown of my head while saying, "You have to let go of me or else I can't move from this spot, honey."

"Kiss me before you go." I said with my heart skipping a beat inside my chest. Even before I finished speaking out loud, I knew my words had changed his mindset. Both of our mindset. It was as if the air around us, warm and cozy, had altered itself to fit what was happening. I inhaled as he did, breathing in pine and earth and salt. Jacob leaned down. Thick fingers gently wrapped around my chin to tilt my head upward. As our eyes connected, my throat went dry. I swallowed heavily and felt the slow spread of heat climbing up my body, starting from my toes and collecting in my cheeks.

Mocha eyes tore themselves away from my gaze to take a glimpse of the glow spreading across my face. His full lips tilted upward, but this wasn't a silly grin or a carefree smile. This was a sharp, dark pull of masculine satisfaction. His eyes returned to mine as he murmured, "Stand on the tips of your toes, Bells."

As I hastened to comply, Jacob's big hand dropped from my chin, slid down my neck, and slowly caressed the length of my body before resting on my hip. His other hand joined him in cradling my pelvis. His hands were so big that they easily covered the bulk of my slender hips. The tips of his thumbs were touching along my stomach. I trembled and my breath was shaky as I exhaled. He whispered, "Close your eyes."

Slowly, I did. I felt his heat as he drew closer. Even knowing, I was still surprised and jolted when soft lips pressed a chaste kiss to my mouth. He chuckled lowly as my hands crept up from his waist to skate across his ribs and curl around his biceps. Hot, open-mouthed kisses were peppered across my neck. Eagerly, I turned my head to give him better access. Jacob hummed under his breath. The feel had my skin breaking out in gooseflesh. When a warm tongue darted just underneath my ear, I felt my breath hitch. My fingernails dug into his blistering skin when Jacob nibbled at my earlobe. He nuzzled playfully with his nose. A sound very close to a moan erupted from my throat as I pressed myself closer to him, so close that my feet stood on top of his.

Jacob grunted. Big palms slid backward until he was fully cupping my bottom. My heart jumped into my throat when he roughly yanked me flush against his hips. Our chests smashed together and the feeling sent a jolt of lightening through me. Gasping, I clung to him as his lips slanted across my own to steal my breath once more. I was so short in comparison to him that our hips didn't remotely line up. Frustration threatened to interrupt me. Quite suddenly, I was bombarded with hot, dark images of him picking me up by the waist and my legs curling around his hips. The smell of rain and the sound of harsh breathing as we thumped against the side of the Blacks' house flickered through my mind. Big hands had cupped my bottom then, too. Jacob's mouth was just as hot, messy, and demanding as it had been all the times before.

"Bed," I panted as soon as my swollen lips were apart from his. I tugged on his arms and nearly tripped, but strong palms gripped my hips too tightly for me to fall. Jacob was breathing as harshly as I was as he guided me backwards until my knees hit the mattress. There was a dazed, wild look in his eyes. Jacob loomed over me with dark eyes searching my face. He gave a slight smile before he swooped down and pulled me into a long, luxurious kiss. My hands were pulling at his back, frantically gripping although I didn't have a clue as to why. The moment his body weight settled atop me, my back on the mattress with his chest and hips pressing into mine, I realized exactly why I had been pulling at him. It was for the underlining feeling of warmth, safety, and the incredibly heady sensations Jacob brought out of me.

His hands were all over me, kneading softly along muscles and lightly scratching at my scalp. Jacob focused on my hips more often than not and it brought a sudden flash of memory. Just a glimpse of a dream-like fantasy in which I rolled over, hands and body searching for heat, only to find Jacob's skin. Sighing, I had cuddled against his chest. Without hesitation, his arms had wrapped their way around my waist, thumb settling on my hip where it began to swipe back and forth so softly. My own slurring, mumbling voice echoed through my head. _Like when you do that._

Even as we kissed and touched and moved together, my mind was very much aware that the fuzzy images in my head weren't dreams, but memory. At some point in the dreary morning, I had searched for him subconsciously. That realization left me feeling thrilled and worried. Our lips broke from each other with a gasp. I instinctively tilted my head back, eyes rolling into my head, nails digging into Jacob's shoulders, as he pressed soft bites on my collarbone. A thin whine broke free from me as Jacob's hips pressed deeper into mine. His teeth scraped along the side of my throat. He grunted, "Damn, Bells."

He repeated his soft bite. I gasped, "My Jacob…"

"Yeah." Jacob huskily said, "Yours. Just yours, honey."

I blinked, eyes trying to focus on his dark and raw expression. My heart was pounding in my chest. He was hovering over me, palms now holding himself just slightly above me. Our hips were pressed solidly together, though, and I could suddenly feel, with extreme clarity, a hard length pressed to my thigh. My breath hitched and I whispered, "Jake…I…"

And then there was a brisk knock on my bedroom door. Startled, my shaking body jolted. Jacob quickly rolled off of me. He stood up and sent me a glance that showed both frustration and the tell-edges of something else. Something duskier and powerful. Charlie's voice called out, "You awake? You'll be late for school, Bella."

I glanced at my bedside clock and cleared my throat. Jacob was already unlatching the window and bending down. I frantically whispered, "Wait!"

I turned my head to the door and loudly said, "I overslept. Sorry!"

"It's okay. Er, I'll be downstairs." Charlie replied before his footsteps lumbered away. I was up and stumbling across the bedroom in a moment. Jacob caught me by the elbows as I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

I whispered, "Be safe."

"I will be." He said lowly, "Especially if I get to come back to that."

I was blushing as I muttered, "You're such a boy."

"Uh-huh." Jacob pulled back and swept one thumb across my right cheek. He smiled softly and said, "I think I remember who jumped who here."

Blushing harder, I pushed him toward the window. Jacob winked and said, "See you this afternoon, honey."

My morning only went downhill from there. I twisted my ankle on the staircase, spilled orange juice on my T-shirt and was forced to change clothes. When I finally got to school, I slipped on the wet pavement and bruised my knees. I was late for first period and received detention. I endured a surprise quiz in Spanish and spent entirely too much time having to listen to Jessica and Mike chatter endlessly. Midway through class, I peeked through a curtain of my hair and met a piercingly golden stare. He was sitting at the back of the classroom with Alice at his side. She was pretending to read the textbook, but he wasn't. Edward was staring directly at me as if he knew I was thinking of him. My heart ground to a halt and began to pound.

When the lunch bell finally rang, I had sweating palms and a heart that was beating too hard against my ribs. Jessica and Mike filed out of the room along with the rest of the students. I hoped the Cullens would follow as much as I wished they wouldn't. I pawed mindlessly through my backpack, exaggeratedly slowing all my movements. Purposely, I dropped a pen and bent over in my seat to retrieve it. I had just slid my notebook into my backpack when I felt a soft, cold breeze. The scent of snow and sweetness entered my nose. Slowly, I straightened in my seat. I hated myself for breathing heavily to inhale such a smell.

I stared straight ahead for a moment as I fisted my hands in my lap. The teacher was gone, having been on lunch duty. Alice hesitated for only a moment before gracefully slinking from the room. I had no doubt that she would sit in the cafeteria and listen in on the conversation I was about to have with her brother. Swallowing heavily, I abruptly turned sideways in my seat. Edward was perched on the edge of the table. He wore a dark grey sweater with a white collar, designer denim jeans, Italian loafers and a heartbreakingly soft smile. He was stunning.

He whispered, "Bella."

Edward's voice was like the blue of a night sky in the dead of winter: pure and crisp and smooth. I swallowed again and croaked, "Edward."

"If you are uncomfortable, I can leave, as I don't wish you distress. Have I mistaken your looks during class? I had thought you wanted to speak with me, too."

"N-No." I stuttered as I tore my eyes from his. I stared pointedly at his hands, which were elegantly folded upon his thigh. "No. I wanted to…speak with you."

"I'm glad." He murmured, "Relieved."

There was an awkward pause. My mind was circling itself and several words were crashing into each other, bumping off of the sides of my skull just to repeat the process. I discarded every speech I had thought of beforehand. I released a shaky breath and mumbled, "What did you want to talk about?"

When he didn't speak, I glanced from his hands to his face. I realized instantly that this decision was a mistake. I didn't have the strength to tear my eyes away a second time. It was as if his gaze held power beyond comprehension. I was frozen like a rabbit in the sights of a raptor. I croaked, "Carlisle told me you wanted to speak with me b-before the meeting."

"Yes." He murmured as his golden eyes flickered quickly across my face. It seemed as if he were taking in my expression, but I knew it went beyond that. He was scenting me as well. I could tell by the slightest rising of his chest. Vampires didn't have to breathe, but Edward had once told me it was a comforting reflex for his family. Still, I had noticed during all our nights together, during all of our close contact, that his shoulders rose visibly when he was inhaling my scent.

I said, "What do you want? What I mean is…um, just tell me what you wanted to tell me."

Edward quietly replied, "I have wondered how to word this for far longer than I care to admit. It is frustrating to a person like me, one who is used to knowing precisely what to say or not to say, in order to achieve the outcome that I want. You were right in so many ways, Bella, but rather specifically about me. I am arrogant and rather set in my ways. It was a bittersweet realization to come to."

I swallowed and his piercing eyes followed that movement as if he were just as ensnared as I was. Edward's lips barely moved as he continued. "The truth is that I know what I wish to say to you, Bella, but I can't possibly know how you will react. I know how I want you to react. I know what I hope you will say and do. It's frightening. In fact, I would admit one of the most frightening events in my life is occurring at this very moment."

Frowning, I slowly shook my head. "I-I don't understand."

Edward's lips twisted into a wistful smile as he whispered, "Strange, isn't it, that a human woman could terrify me so much and yet remain unaware of her power?"

There was another pause. I was surprise, and embarrassed, to find myself leaning forward in order to properly hear his quiet words. He stared intently at me before sighing, "I have only my stark truth for you, Bella, although you deserve much more than that. I have missed you. All of you. Every part of you. Your voice. Your hair. Your laughs and smiles. Your witty banter and endearing clumsiness. Your kindness and acceptance. Your warmth late at night. I could go on and will do so gladly, if you wish me to."

My heart skipped a beat. I reeled back, my shoulders digging painfully into the base of the chair. My breathing increased as I snapped, "Is this your idea of a joke? Is this one of your moody games? I didn't like the neurotic episodes then and I don't like them now. I knew you were capable of cruelty, but this is beneath you, Edward."

I stumbled to my feet, but found myself dizzy. Edward stood up in a blur of colors and I found myself abruptly sitting back down to avoid touching him. Edward's face caught my attention like a fish caught on a hook. His eyes were all but bleeding. His voice was anguished and beautiful face twisted as he said, "I lied to you."

He spoke urgently now. "Bella, I lied to you and I have regretted that decision bitterly for over six months. You loved me, so surely and amazingly, from the very beginning. Our attraction was, is, the singular most powerful phenomena I have ever felt in all my years on Earth. Even in the days before our love fully manifested, the attraction was so acute that I could label it as obsession. I knew there was only one option if I was to truly break our hold on one another. One option and one weakness that I could exploit within you."

He paused as if to breathe deeply before quickly saying, "I made a disgusting, unforgivable mistake. I hurt you in order to protect you, but it was in vain. I thought myself strong enough, thought both of us strong enough, to carry on without each other. And I was wrong, Bella. I have never been so incorrect in all my existence. I would have never, under any circumstances, committed such a crime, had I known the fallout of such a thing."

My heart was pattering rather weakly now. I sucked in a gulp of air and grabbed ahold of the edge of the desk. Edward's hands unfolded swiftly and he reached out, balancing me by placing cool fingers on my shoulder to hold me upright in the chair. I croaked, "W-What? Protect me? How did you protect me?"

My eyes flickered around the room as my hand laid against my heaving chest. My breath hitched as I whispered, "Jasper. From Jasper."

"Yes." Edward breathed, looming closer. His cool fingertips held steady my trembling body. "Yes, Bella. I wanted you safe from all of us. I never attempted to hide how dangerous we are. Jasper only proved what I knew to be true and yet tried to ignore despite my better judgment."

"Better judgment?" I echoed breathlessly, "Your better judgment?"

"You do yourself a disservice by not seeing how beautiful you are, Isabella." Edward murmured, "I knew I could use such against you, to make you think I didn't want you."

I released a desperate breath of air. _"What?"_

His fingers moved from my shoulder to my cheek. He brushed icy fingertips so slowly and gently. His golden eyes were liquid wet with tears and his breath hitched oddly as if he were choking, but no teardrops fell. Shutting his lids, Edward tilted his head backward and exposed the brilliant column of his throat. He whispered, "All of our time spent together, Bella, do you remember? Out of all the days and nights that I told you how much I love you, how much I care for you…of all of the lovely conversations and gentle touches, how could you believe so easily and simply that I no longer desire you?"

I tried to pay attention to his words, but they only made my chest ache sharply. My eye closed of their own accord when his thumb brushed my lips. I mumbled, "This isn't real. Not real. You're not real."

"I am," He breathed and when I opened my eyes, he was suddenly right in front of me. Golden eyes and slashing cheekbones were so close I was nearly cross-eyed as I attempted to stare. "Feel my skin against yours. Feel the difference in temperature."

A sob tore itself from my throat as I shoved his hand away with herculean effort. I jumped up from my seat and croaked, "No. No. I have to go. I have to…"

Stumbling, I snatched my backpack up and slung it over my shoulders. I was out of the door quickly and blindly racing through the hallways. They were blessedly empty as lunch had yet to end. I came across only one teacher, who offered a curious stare and nothing more. I didn't bother glancing behind me, too afraid to see if Edward was following. As I shoved open a back-entrance door, I inhaled the cold afternoon air as if I were a drowning man. Tears were hot and painful, but I swiped them off of my cheeks with impatience as I stalked across campus.

"Bella." The voice was a cool wash of fresh air. "Bella, please."

Edward followed me around the corner of a building and across a wet sidewalk. His footsteps matched mine as he quietly said, "If you wish to never forgive me, I understand. Just know I am here for you and words cannot express how remorseful I am. I will repent in any way you see fit. Take the time to think and decide because, if anything, all I have is time and I am more than willing to spend mine waiting for you. I don't deserve your love, but I crave it all the same."

"I-I…" My voice broke as I unlocked my truck door with shaky hands. "I-I can't think right now. I just need to go. I need you to go. Oh, God."

My breath hitched again as I leaned my forehead against the truck door. I felt my shoulders trembling as I blocked my face from his view. Edward whispered, "I only want you to realize you are worth an infinity more than any other being. It was blasphemy on my part to convince you that you are anything short of extraordinary."

I let out a watery moan and shook my head. My eyes squeezed shut, but still tears burned. I felt him shift beside me and his voice became urgent once more.

"It will always remain my gravest mistake to have wounded you. For that, I am ignorant and treacherous. You must know that I will fight for you, if you want me to do so, with every ounce of power I possess. If you truly don't want me beside you, I will take my leave, but do not think you are ever unwanted by me. Jacob Black is not your only option of love, protection and safety, Bella."

And then, Edward was gone. My knees buckled and I plopped onto the pavement in between my monster of a truck and a tiny Honda. With my forehead to my knees, I cried. I heard muted footsteps and the crunch of pebbles on pavement before I smelt pine trees and musky earth. Glancing up, I saw black hair and bronzed skin on full display. Jacob was squatting beside me with a somber expression. My keys, which had fallen beside me, were scooped up with one big hand. He said, "Come on. I'll drive you home."

I said nothing, but scrambled to my feet and slowly walked to the passenger side as Jacob slid into the driver's seat. I was shaking as he drove, so Jacob turned on the heater until hot air was blasting through the cab. My thoughts were swirling about in a panic. I blurted, "What does _imprint_ mean?"

The silence was deafening. My swollen eyes turned his way. His jaw was locked tight and he was grinding his teeth. My voice crackled when I whispered, "Jacob?"

He snapped, "It's a stupid wolf thing. It's like a powerful devotion at first, random sight. The Elders seem to think it's a gift, but I think it's unnatural. It's instant love and joy. It's just false as hell."

I wiped at my hot, wet eyes. My eyelashes were tangling and making me blink excessively. I croaked, "Do all wolves deal with an imprint?"

His eyes never strayed from the road as he drove slower than usual. Jacob's knuckles were bleached white because of how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He muttered quickly, "No. Only one wolf from the last pack imprinted. With us, it's only Sam and Jared."

"But…" I croaked, "you could. You could find an imprint."

"I won't, Bella." Jacob said furiously as he glanced at me. There was a frantic plea in his dark eyes that made my heart hurt painfully. "I know that I won't."

I shook my head and mumbled, "You can't know that. It happens at random."

"Bella…" Jacob whispered, "Please."

My tears oozed to a painful halt, drying tacky on my cheeks. Once the roar of the engine was cut off, I realized how horribly silent it was. His hand tentatively reached out and brushed sticky hair away from my wet cheek. I ducked away. His hand dropped. I worked to swallow the lump in my throat as I stumbled out of the truck and inside the house. I never looked back.

My arms stayed firmly wrapped around my waist as I dragged myself upstairs and into my bedroom. I shut the door with a soft thud before collapsing on the bed. I didn't move again that night even after Charlie had cracked the bedroom door open to check on me three times. I listened to the beeping of the microwave and the shuffling of feet and the droning of the television. A hulking form never climbed through my window. Eventually, after hours of silent tears and gasping breaths, I fell asleep.


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

I woke with swollen eyes and a sore throat just after dawn. My body was aching from the sheer amount of tossing and turning and flailing about. When I managed to drag myself into the bathroom, I flipped the light on and blinded myself for several minutes. The girl staring back at me was a stranger. Red nose. Raw, puffy eyes. Splotchy cheeks glistening with tears. Lips thin and drawn. I slapped my hand over the switch and was plunged back into darkness. I showered and dressed in a daze before grabbing my keys and driving to school. I sat in all of my usual seats during class time, but none of my friends bothered to speak to me. I was glad for it.

I kept my eyes on the teachers or my textbooks all day long. At lunch, I escaped to the bathrooms and stayed in a stall for half an hour. In gym, I told the coach I was feeling sick and after glancing at me for a moment, I was excused. I sat on the bench, staring blankly at my shoes for the hour as the sound of sneakers on polished floorboards echoed in my ears. When the final bell rang, I picked up my backpack and trudged through the rain to my truck.

I was soaking wet by the time I climbed into the cab, but I didn't care. With shaking hands and trembling shoulders, I turned on the heater and stared at the foggy windshield. I didn't back out of my parking spot even as I listened to the sounds of laughter and tires on pavement. I waited until the windshield began to thaw out and the world beyond became clearer. Just to the right, only two spaces away, sat a silver Volvo. Most of the vehicles were tearing out of the parking lot. I waited until only ours remained. Edward leaned against his car, looking at a small novel in his hands, but twice he glanced at me. Swallowing heavily, I leaned across the seats and slung the passenger door open. My heart hammered as I waited.

Edward closed the novel gently, stuffing it into the pocket of his coat. He walked my way with a confident gait before smoothly sliding into the cab. With gentle hands, he closed the door. His scent, sweet and sharp, assaulted my senses the moment we were enclosed together. I wondered if that potent mixture of dread and desire whirled inside of him when he smelt me as it did when I smelt him.

I cleared my throat and croaked, "It was all because I cut my finger."

There was a beat of silence before I clarified, "During my birthday."

"Yes and no." He whispered with golden eyes roaming over my face. I stared straight ahead, looking at the forest just beyond the edge of the parking lot. I blinked and muttered, "Explain."

"You have always been in danger from myself and my family." Edward quietly said, "I have told you so from the beginning. Jasper's attack was to be expected, but somehow, I still found myself surprised when it occurred. Stupid of me, in all honesty. We are predators and you are prey, as nature dictates, but I now know you and I are far beyond the demands of nature. It took living without you to discover so."

My chin trembled as hard as my shoulders. I pressed my lips together and blinked rapidly until the tears were gone. I croaked, "You're here to kill Victoria."

"I am." Edward agreed softly, "And yet I would have come regardless."

"Excuse me?" I squeaked. My cheeks blushing from the tone of my voice. I still didn't look at him, but glared into the thick foliage ahead.

"Every moment away from you was a year. I couldn't think, function, without you. It became so bad that I removed myself from my family to spare them pain. I would remind myself, continuously and endlessly, that you were better off without my interference in your life. At times, I believe I nearly convinced myself. Other times, I would catch myself running as if I would go to you despite the fact I was on a different continent. I was going mad, Bella. It was insanity each day that I replayed every word you have ever spoken. It was insanity as I wondered what you were doing and if you were happy. I had convinced myself I had only to see you with my eyes, to see you happy and healthy, and then I would be able to move on. I had a flight booked to Washington already when Alice called to inform me of Victoria."

My chin dropped to my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut. My breath wheezed out of me. Edward whispered, "I was anxious when I arrived to find you in the company of werewolves. I have seen the damage they can do and it rivals that of a vampire. Please, don't misunderstand me. I was, and still am, grateful to the shapeshifters for protecting you from Victoria."

Edward sighed so softly and said, "Nonetheless, I confess that I hadn't expected to find you in the arms of a werewolf and a newly transformed one at that. Mike Newton was my preferred choice of torture during those dark months. Tyler Crowley, even. Not Jacob Black. He wasn't remotely on my mind. That shows how wrong a man can be, I suppose."

There was a slight pause and then he said, "I saw how my leaving affected you, Bella. I have seen it in his mind, although he does his best to block me from hearing his thoughts. I have seen the way you shy away from conversation of me and how my presence has affected your relationship with him. That is how I know there is a fighting chance, slim though it might be."

I shook my head and muttered, "Don't assume."

"I apologize." He murmured, "I meant only to say that I am relieved you care for me even after what I have done."

"Of course." I croaked, "I care for you. That doesn't change."

"Only your love." Edward murmured, "Only that has changed."

"I love him." My voice shook and my eyes fell closed. There was another nearly inaudible sigh before Edward whispered, "I'm too late. I've hurt you too much."

A whimper left my throat. He murmured, "My own folly. I have none to blame but myself. I'll deal with Victoria. You will be safe. Of this, I promise you."

He opened the truck door and icy wind billowed into the cab. I was shivering as my eyes flew open. Bubbles erupted inside of my stomach, causing painful cramps. Cold sweat broke out across my palms and slid down my spine. Still, I trembled and breathed unevenly. I swiped at the tears and frantically cried, "Wait!"

Edward stilled his movements until he was nearly unnatural. Golden eyes, darkened now to a deep amber, intensely stared at my face. He took in the red nose and red-rimmed eyes. I choked, "I love you, too."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Edward's lips. His pale eyelids fluttered shut before he gave me an amber gaze once more. He leaned into the cab, twisting his lithe torso, and stretching out a pale hand. Artistic fingers danced as they wiped hot tears away from my skin. For an extended moment, one that seemed as if it could go on for infinity, Edward searched my face. His fingertips sent jolts of lightening through me. My pulse thumped rapidly in the hollow of my throat. No matter how many attempts, I found that I couldn't swallow. Edward murmured, "I will earn your forgiveness, my love. Whatever you need from me is yours."

He caressed my jawline, face drawing closer as he brushed fingertips across my forehead. Golden eyes focused pointedly on a thin, white scar. One that was fairly new. One that came from my clumsy feet and a fast paced bike. Edward slowly, inch by terrifying inch, brought his lips to that scar. His cool lips were like being doused in icy water. I gasped involuntarily. My eyes were wide as Edward pulled back.

He said, "You have only to speak, to ask, and I'll provide. Don't cry, Isabella. Not for me. You're too precious to suffer on my account."

"I-I can't…" My voice trailed off and broke in odd places. "I don't know if I can…be…or do…I mean. Oh, Edward."

"Shhh," He crooned, "There is no explanations needed, no excuse for feelings on your part. You have done nothing wrong, Bella. Nothing at all. I am the fool."

Edward was holding my jaw in his cold, smooth palm now. His eyes were swirling golden and pure. His sweet breath was gushing across my face and leaving me weaker than ever. I swallowed heavily as my heart soared so high that it stuck in my throat. It took several tries before I choked out, "I love him. I love Jacob. I-I…He and I…We are…"

My eyes shut and I sobbed, "This isn't happening."

"It is happening." Edward corrected gently, "Although, you owe me nothing. I ask for nothing more than truth, which you have given me."

"What? What have I given you?" I sobbed. My eyes stayed tightly closed with my head pushed deeply into the leather seats.

He quietly replied, "Every look. Every beat of your heart. Speaking to me despite your pain. Actions say far more than words are capable of."

There was a pause.

"I have a headache." I croaked while looking up with swollen eyes. He leaned down with a sad, twisted smile. He whispered thoughtfully, "I am selfish, Isabella, so horridly selfish."

And then he pressed wintery lips to mine. It was just a moment, just a swift moment gone within less than a blink of the eye, but it was filled with impact. Cold and smooth and flawless and sweet. I gasped again. My heart was stuck in my throat. My head pushed back and smacked the seat rather heavily. Edward pulled back to take in my expression. He murmured, "Never again will I willingly leave you. I will stay at your side until you send me away, Bella."

He slid out of the cab before slowly and gently shutting the truck door. I watched, lips numb and eyes burning, as Edward gracefully loped across the parking lot. He was inside of his sleek car within the blink of an eye. I was too tired to be embarrassed about Alice being in the passenger seat. She was perfectly patient as she witnessed my crying fest. Another moment passed before I found my fumbling fingers working the keys into the ignition. It took two tries for me to start the truck and a long moment of uneven breathing before I managed to properly back out of my parking spot.

I drove home very slowly. The drizzle, which steadily built in speed and ferocity, made driving all the more difficult. I sat in the cab, engine roaring, as the rain carried on. The sky was dark gray, but I absentmindedly watched it go black. Eventually, I turned the engine off and felt the unforgiving cold creep in. It settled within my bones far faster than should be normal. When I heard a droning howl, somehow sharp even through the roar of the wind and rain, I was startled from my trance. I opened the truck door and immediately was drenched in rain. Fighting to keep the hefty door open, I stumbled from the truck. I skidded across the icy sidewalk. The porch steps nearly did me in, but I finally managed to make it inside.

I didn't bother turning on lights, but rather stayed in the blackness. I was shivering as I dropped my backpack to the floor in the living room. I kicked off my boots and trudged up the stairs while wringing out my wet hair. My clothes were plastered to my skin. My jacket was too heavy, so I slipped it off and dropped it on the floor in the hallway. My soggy socks followed. My teeth clattered and my chin trembled. I pulled off my sweater with extreme difficulty before it was dropped to the floor with a loud splat. Quite a pile was growing as I unbuttoned my jeans and began to shimmy the fabric down my hips. I kicked and stumbled about until my legs were free. Breathing heavily, I leaned against the wall and bowed forward with my hands pressed to my bare knees.

Tears still flowed, unchecked and hot, down my frozen cheeks. My fingers were so cold they looked discolored, so I rubbed them together quickly. As I wiped at my eyes, I saw the dark form standing in my bedroom doorway. My heart dropped from my tightened throat to the bottom of my stomach. The usual fleeting impressions were all present: so very tall and broad, russet skin and dark hair, and power. Thick and unapologetic power. It was the twisting of his handsome features that made my heart feel as if it would burst and die a very painful death.

Jacob snapped, "So, all is forgiven, yeah? A few poetic words and you're willing to overlook everything that leech has done?"

I shook my head with my mouth open. No words came. His eyes were black and disturbed like flames licking at skin, which only served to remind me how much I yearned for melting mocha instead. Full lips, made for deep laughs and goofy grins, were withered. A bottomless, sinister snarl was building within his chest and echoing like the thudding of a war-drum. He demanded, "Have you ever had sex with him?"

The words hit me like a stone. I closed my eyes, unable to stand the sight of such fury and jealousy contorting Jacob's loving features.

"What? Vamp got your tongue? You were chatty as hell with Cullen from what I hear. All snuggled up in your truck. Am I not even worth your notice now that Prince Charming is back?"

"Stop it." I breathed, "Jacob. Please. You're being crude because you're hurting. I get it. Just…Please, don't do this."

"Please?" He snarled, stepping forward until he was looming over me. I didn't back up, only stuck my chin out and met his eyes. My vision was blurry, but I knew not giving him my eyes was an insult too profound to comprehend. " _Please?_ What are you begging for, Bella? What in the hell could you possibly need to beg me for?"

Jacob's words grew deeper and hoarser. "Haven't I given you enough?"

"Everything." I breathed, awestruck and horrified.

"Everything?" He echoed tightly, "Really? I find that hard to believe. A man like me can't give you everything, can't give you what he can. No money. No big-league education. No fancy cars or houses or jewelry or trips around the world."

The smirk left his face and he was oddly blank when he choked, "No immortality. No golden eyes and pale skin. No eternal fucking beauty."

"None of that matters to me." I whispered roughly, "You know that."

Jacob hesitated for a moment before barking, "Do I? Do I, Bella? What else could you want from me? Heart, brain, body, my goddamn soul? I've given it all to you already, but that isn't enough for you, is it, Isabella?"

He smirked suddenly and I was reminded starkly of Jekyll and Hyde. My eyes stayed on his even though it hurt like a punch to the nose. He cackled and it was hollow to my ears. Jacob mocked, "Isabella. That's what he likes to call you the most. All soft and sing-song. My precious _Isabella._ Seems you don't mind _him_ saying your given name, but you always prefer what Cullen prefers, don't you, Bella?"

My knees shook as I tried to step forward. I stumbled and Jacob reacted instinctively, catching me at the elbow with one large palm. He released me just as quickly as he grabbed me, but I was desperate. My cold, wet fingers wrapped around his wrist as he pulled away. I barreled into his thick chest. My face was pressed against his hot skin as I sobbed and clung to him like a slithering eel. For the first time, Jacob didn't return my embrace. Thick arms didn't wrap around my waist. A warm nose didn't playfully nuzzle my neck. A chin didn't rub against my hair while full lips pressed kisses to the crown of my head.

"I didn't lie to him or you. I love him and I can't be sorry for that, Jacob. None of that takes away from what I feel for you. I love you, Jake, so much that it scares me."

Jacob made a noise, but I couldn't be sure what it meant. I felt his muscles tensing. I urgently continued in a garbled voice. "I want you. It took so long for me to admit that to myself, but it's true. I wouldn't change what I feel for you. Nobody has ever understood me as well as you do. I've never fit with someone like I fit with you. Believe me, please."

His body went terribly still beneath me. Just the slightest raising of his chest and thundering of his heart let me know that Jacob was alive and listening. I begged, "Jacob, believe me. _Believe me."_

"Say that I do," He roughly replied, "What does it matter?"

I wobbled, tipping backward too far as I tried to look up at him. Jacob's palms caught me by the hips. His fingers dug in a bit too hard, but his fierce expression held my attention too thoroughly for me to notice. Black eyes and dark eyebrows scrunched together tightly. His lips were pressed into a thin line.

"Well?" Jacob snapped impatiently, "What do your feelings for me actually change? You're still pining after Cullen. You're afraid I will imprint and leave you, so you're leaving me instead. You're going right back to him, aren't you?"

"N-No." I stuttered, sniffling wetly. "H-He lied. He s-says he left to protect me. I realized that after a while, but he still lied. You...don't lie to me."

"Great." Jacob muttered, "That clears it all up for me."

Jacob let me go so abruptly that I stumbled. With a hot sigh, he caught my elbow and demanded, "Stay on your feet."

"Stop it!" I shrieked suddenly. My arms waved out in a violent gesture. My voice broke as I shouted, "He left me! He lied and he left me and even knowing Edward meant well doesn't change those facts. I loved him then and I love him now and nothing will ever change that, either."

I abruptly inhaled, trying to catch my breath as my nose and eyes ran with tears and snot. I wiped fitfully at my face while Jacob scoffed loudly. "Go tell him. I don't need to hear your love-sick declarations. Go have your dreamy makeup scene and leave me out of it. This is all a bunch of bullshit."

I stepped forward just as he swung away from me as if to head for the stairs. Blindly, I stood on the tips of my toes and shoved at his broad shoulders until he turned back around. My palms stung as they met his bare skin. I started raining hits with my closed fist as I yelled, "You egotistical, big-headed jerk! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

With each hit I spoke between gritted teeth. "I'm. In. Love. With. You. Damnit. Jake. Why. Are. You. So. Stubborn. And. Jealous. I've. Never. Even. Had. Sex. Before. Stupid. Arrogant. Jerk."

One big hand caught both of my wrists. I struggled, tears streaming as I cried. I glared with swollen eyes and blurry vision. "I love you, Jacob." I croaked, "I love you so much and if you say you won't leave me, I believe you. Don't you understand?"

"No. I'm too afraid to hope." He said simply as he gently tugged on my wrists. Bending down, Jacob loomed over me and met my stare. He gruffly said, "I need you to be crystal clear."

"I can't walk away from you." I whispered brokenly.

He murmured, "Do you want me, Bella? Are you mine? Only mine?"

"Yes." I answered wobbly, "Yes."

"Say it." Jacob demanded huskily. "Tell me."

"I want you." I whispered, "I'm yours."

Jacob's eyes closed as a harsh smile touched his lips. He squeezed my wrists once before letting them go and wrapping me in the safe, soft cocoon of his arms. And he was everywhere. Nose in my hair and chin scraping along the top of my head. Lips on my temples. Arms wrapped around my waist and hands kneading at my lower back. His fingertips played with the hem of my undershirt. Jacob murmured, "You're freezing. Let's get you out of these damp clothes."

For a moment, I thought he would strip me. Instead, Jacob bent low at the knees and smoothly scooped me into his arms. Carrying me into my bedroom, he kicked the door shut and slowly set me on my feet. The darkness only let me see flashes of his features from the cracking lightening, but just a glimpse showed me the somberness of his expression. It was an improvement from his fury. Jacob swallowed loudly and said, "I'll go downstairs and make you a cup of hot cider. Put on pajamas and get under the blankets to warm up, Bells. Are you hungry?"

I felt numb and confused. I mumbled, "Cider. Just cider…and you."

A soft smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Jacob whispered, "I'll be right back."


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

When the door shut, I blinked. And blinked again. With cold fingers, I stripped my tanktop and underclothes. As I stared at the pile of cotton at my feet, I was acutely aware of the fact that I had stood in panties while arguing with Jacob in the hallway. Blushing hotly, I stood frozen in the middle of my bedroom. The rain continued beating abuse on the roof. Rumbling thunder had my shivers growing worse. A crackling streak of lightening had me flinching. My knees nearly gave out from underneath me, so I climbed clumsily underneath the blankets. I stared at the closed bedroom door. My heart was beating a rapid tempo along my ribs. My throat was dry and I kept trying to swallow. I wished desperately for water.

Time passed as I debated frantically inside my head. Twice, I threw the blankets back as if I would climb from the bed and go to the dresser for clothes, but I never followed through. Covering myself up to the chin, I counted backward from one-hundred and stared at the bedroom door as if it might bite me at any moment. Jacob came through unexpectedly and I didn't know why I was surprised I hadn't heard his footsteps on the staircase. It was odd how easily I could forget he was a supernatural creature capable of extreme abilities well beyond the average human man.

Jacob kicked the door closed and turned the lock while balancing a tray in one hand. With smooth movements, Jacob brought the tray and sat on the edge of the bed. He glanced down at the same time I did. I took in the two plates, heaping piles of food, small bowl of cheddar soup, and steaming mug of apple cider. He said, "I ate a few bananas before I came up. I figured you might be hungry, though. If not, maybe later."

After a pause, he carried the tray to my desk and set it down. He carried the mug to me and whispered, "Sit up. Your throat is sore. The cider will help, Bells."

Careful to keep one arm wrapped firmly around the blanket and my chest, I sat up. With the other hand, I took the mug and blew on the swirling steam. Jacob said, "I cooled it off for a minute before coming in. Should be lukewarm."

I took a tentative sip before humming. He chuckled, "Good?"

"Yeah." I sighed and took a large gulp. The warm liquid coated my inflamed throat. I was taking a second greedy gulp when Jacob casually put his palm on my back and began to rub. When he met no resistance from fabric and only touched cool skin, Jacob's hand slowed its movement. I tensed and his hand came to a halt. It hovered, unsure, at the base of my spine. His voice was husky when he questioned, "Bells?"

"I'm tired." I said right before taking another gulp and holding out the mug. After a moment of staring into smoldering chocolate eyes, Jacob took the cup and walked slowly to the desk. My courage rose slightly with his back turned. I quietly asked, "Will you stay tonight?"

"Yeah." Jacob replied just as quietly, "Hell yeah."

He came to the bedside, hovering for only a moment before sitting down atop the blankets. I watched as he swallowed heavily. I joked, "I'm frozen like an ice cube. Are you going to help me out or what, Jake? Where's my space heater?"

"Sure, sure, honey." He said with a small smile as he pulled the blankets back just slightly. I licked my lips and swallowed dryly. Blushing, I whispered, "Take them off. Your shorts."

Jacob inhaled sharply before standing up very slowly. His fingers brushed against one another nervously before he reached up and undid the brass button of his denims with a quick flick. His zipper came down with a rasping sound that echoed boldly. He croaked, "You going to watch, Bells? Didn't know you liked peep shows, but I'm game if you are."

My cheeks gathered warmth even quicker with each word. The hoarseness of his voice left his throat, floated through the air, and settled within my chest only to vibrate pleasantly. I licked my dry lips once more, keeping my eyes firmly on his hands, which were toying with the fly of his shorts. In one decisive move, Jacob shucked the denim off of his hips and let it fall to the floor. My breath hitched and my inner monologue of nervous babble ceased along with my heart beat.

Russet skin went on in a boundless pattern of masculinity. Jacob was made of deep, rich caramel skin with mahogany undertones. No artist in the world had a prayer of capturing that exact color on canvas. In that moment, I decided it was a crime against humanity to have such a work of art interrupted by the crude colors and fabrics of clothing. I wondered, if I asked him to remain naked forever, would Jacob do so. It was difficult to tear my eyes away from all of the deep, creamy skin on display. The divots and crooks of corded muscle were like mountains begging to be explored. Wildly, breathlessly stunning mountains that would provide adventure.

Once my eyes had lingered on the planes of his abs, I found my gaze going lower to where I had never had the chance to see. A deep-set V between his hips pointed to a nest of short, dark curls. A thick, long length jutted proudly from the cradle of his pelvis. A hefty weight hung low and dark between his powerful thighs like twin jewels. I blinked and Jacob muttered, "You're fucking killing me, Bells."

My eyes darted upward to take in his convulsing throat, heavy-lidded stare, and flaring nostrils. He whispered in his native tongue, just a single word, before sliding underneath the blankets and letting the fabric pool around his lap. The obvious bulge held my attention unlike anything else ever had in my entire life. Jacob's hands traveled across cool sheets as he growled, "Come here. Let me kiss you, honey. God, I just want…"

My movements were timid and I couldn't stop the tremor running up and down my spine. Still, I scooted across the cool sheets, trying not to blush each time the blanket moved a certain way, giving glimpses of my breasts. I didn't realize one hand was clutching the blanket to my chest like a life preserve until Jacob nuzzled my neck. He murmured, "It's just me, honey. Jake and Bells. Don't be afraid."

His hand, warm skin easing me, gently covered my own. His lips kissed slowly across the side of my neck. I tilted my head automatically with eyes falling closed. I sighed softly and Jacob chuckled. "You like?"

A nervous smile flickered across my lips. I blushed as I nodded just slightly. Jacob hummed under his breath, sending hot air across my ear. I shivered roughly and nearly bit my tongue as my teeth clattered. Jacob's long torso was stretched across the bed, bringing his lips to meet mine in a soft and simple kiss. I was acutely aware of how much space was between our lower bodies and how uncomfortable a position must be for him. It was as if each of us was scared to touch.

It suddenly hit me how ridiculous such a notion was. Jacob was Jacob. My best friend. My confidante. The boy who made me laugh and loved cheese sandwiches and offered me warm soda and talked about vehicles like they were works of art. The guy with talented, strong hands that were as gentle as they were rough. The son who dutifully cared for his father without resentment or reservations. The warrior who had his tattered childhood ripped away and yet still protected the weaker from monsters. Jacob. My Jacob.

Gasping quietly, I pulled away from his lips reluctantly. I peered at him in the dark, taking in liquid mocha eyes and a full, glistening mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I whispered, "I'm great. I just want to be...close to you."

He eyed me before hoarsely asking, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I let out a breathless laugh. My shaking hand slowly moved away from my chest. The blanket slithered to my lap, leaving my breasts bare and cold. My cheeks felt hot even as the icy air tickled the tips of my breasts, causing stiffened peaks to form. I heard Jacob's hitching breath, but the lightening had stopped and I couldn't see his face well at all. I was hopelessly grateful for the darkness.

He had done as I asked, smoothly sliding through bed linens until his thigh was pressed intimately against my own. I wasn't sure, but I thought he was trembling just as much as I was. The heat from his body was wafting off of him in waves and I wanted to curl around him just to obtain some of his warmth. I wanted to do _something._ Kiss his lips or his neck or run my hands through his short, silky hair. My mind and body didn't listen to one another. Instead, I stayed frozen. It took a prolonged moment of staring at his silhouette before I realized he was gazing at my chest. Instantly, my arm raised and I covered my breasts. Jacob's husky voice echoed across my bedroom.

"You're beautiful, Bella. Don't cover up. Not with me."

"So are you." I croaked. "Beautiful, that is. You're beautiful."

His chuckle was dusky and so achingly familiar, but it was the undercurrent of nerves that had my hand falling away from my chest once more. He leaned down slightly, nuzzling his nose and mouth against my ear. "I'm beautiful, am I? Not handsome or manly?"

"You're both of those, too." I whispered, hands fisting at my sides as open-mouthed kisses and slow licks accompanied his words across my throat. He was behind me now, having maneuvered so quickly and gently. His naked chest brushed against my bare back with every breath we took. Strong arms came around my waist and I gasped as his big palms settled on my bare hips. Thick fingers slowly began to massage my hips and lower back. His thumbs were pressed into the cervices on either side of my spine.

"If I do something you don't like, just tell me to stop." Jacob whispered in my ear before continuing his lazy exploration with his mouth. He was burrowing his nose into the nape of my hair, which was oddly pleasant. A giggle escaped my throat against my will. He chuckled before saying, "I love your hair so much."

"I think I can tell." I quietly replied, "You're always playing with it."

"Am I?" He mused while playfully licking my collarbone. I yelped and blindly swatted at his right thigh. My hand started to pull away, but I hesitated. I had never touched him there before and I was surprised by the firmness. I brushed my fingertips across the length of his thigh before pulling away quickly. He murmured, "You can touch me, Bells. Whenever and wherever you want to."

"Right." I joked uncertainly, "So…if I decided to make out with you at the next bonfire, where your Dad and my Dad could easily see us…"

"Bella," Jacob laughed into my hair, "You can stick your tongue down my throat at any time. I promise, I would never push you away. I'm sure our Dads have seen worse things in life. I know you, though, and you wouldn't do something like that in front of other people."

"So crude." I muttered even as my hand crept closer and settled once more on Jacob's bare thigh. It was thick like a tree trunk. The skin was curiously soft and without any bumps or blemishes. Russet skin pulled taut over very firm muscles. His thigh didn't jiggle whatsoever and when I pinched, just slightly, there was not even the barest amount of excess skin. Suddenly, I didn't want his thumbs rubbing so tenderly over my hips anymore. He sensed my mood because he whispered, "What's wrong?"

I cleared my throat and shook my head. Jacob's hands fluttered up my sides and rested on my tense shoulders. He began to rub my neck and shoulders gently. There was a moment of silence before Jacob asked, "Why are you upset, Bella? Is this too much for you, honey?"

I pressed my lips together, staring straight ahead in the darkness as he rubbed at my shoulders and pressed his cheek against the base of my skull. I mumbled, "You're pretty much perfect, Jake. You don't have an ounce of fat on you."

"It's the wolf gene." He said, "The height. The muscles. The heat."

There was a pause and Jacob added, "You're stunning. Seeing you naked won't change how I feel about you, one way or another. Trust me."

I made a noise somewhere between disbelief and amusement. More than once, I heard him inhale as if taking my scent into his lungs. The gesture relaxed me somewhat. Eventually Jacob blurted, "I've never had sex, either."

Startled, I tensed once more. He cleared his throat and said, "Wanted you to know that. I've, you know, made out with a few girls. Went a bit further with one or two, but I don't really have any sexual experience. I was scared that you…did."

There was a pause. I whispered, "Oh, Jacob."

And then, I let my hand rest atop his thigh. I gave it a squeeze. I heard Jacob swallow heavily before he explained, "I haven't done anything beyond feeling someone up. God, that sounds awkward when I say it out loud."

We both chuckled before relapsing into silence. Thunder could still be heard rumbling in the distance, but it was muffled. Rain pattered atop the roof, but it was soothing and soft. Jacob's fingers were still working magic on my shoulders and I slowly melted until my back was pressed fully to his chest. He maneuvered his hands until they were resting across my upper arms. His chin and cheek rubbed against the side of my head. We breathed together, bodies moving delicately.

A curious softness, far softer than the rest of his body, grew hard against my lower back once more. He wiggled, clearing his throat, body trembling against me. He muttered a swear word. My heart skipped a beat. My cheeks flushed, but I didn't move away. Jacob whispered, "Um. Sorry, Bells. Maybe I should move over…"

"How many girls have you kissed?" I asked curiously a moment later.

"Four." He replied hesitantly, "First time doesn't count because I was ten."

I snorted, "Okay. Three, then."

"Yeah. Three, not counting you." He whispered against my hair. My heart abruptly picked up in speed as I blurted, "I've kissed two. Men, that is."

There was a long pause. Jacob said, "Guess Mike Newton really is pathetic."

I replied in an odd mixture of relief and indignation. "You're a jerk."

"Sure, sure." He replied before cautiously asking, "Just two? Him…and me?"

"Yeah. You believe me, don't you?" I asked anxiously.

He said, "Yes, I do. Duh."

"You sounded skeptical to me." I replied dryly.

"That's because I'd always thought you must have…" He went quiet.

"Have what, Jake?" I asked impatiently.

He thoughtfully replied, "Have had a boyfriend in Phoenix."

"What made you think that?" I balked with my mouth open.

"I dunno. You're smart. Caring. Responsible. Funny. Beautiful, Bells."

I chuckled, "Oh. Jake, not everybody sees me that way."

"Then, they're idiots." He simply said.

I giggled softly, "Really, Jacob?"

"Phoenix has the type of weather that girls can show off in." He added.

I snorted, "Be careful or I might get offended."

"I only mean that you're beautiful and guys are bound to notice, honey."

"Nope. I didn't have many friends in Phoenix. Just study-buddies."

"Study-buddies? You mean kind of like we were study-buddies at one point?"

"Jealous much, Jacob Black?" I asked teasingly.

"Pfft. I have nothing to be jealous of with a bunch of skinny nerds."

I whispered somberly, "You're right. You don't."

I squeezed his thigh again. Jacob nuzzled my neck affectionately. I bit my lip before saying, "I'm different than other girls. I never wanted to just…be physical. I noticed guys' appearances, but I never cared. I never wanted them pawing at me or making stupid comments. I made a point to never respond to flirting. I was always on a different radio frequency until I moved to Forks."

"And all that changed." Jacob mumbled against my skin. He breathed in my hair once more as I nodded. "Yeah. It did."

We were quiet for a time. My fingertips drew patterns on his thigh and I tried desperately not to notice the odd contrast of softness and hardness pressing against my lower back. Jacob slowly said, "I'm like that, too. I didn't want to hook up with some random girl, you know? My friends always make fun of me for it. Quil, especially."

"I know." I whispered with a smile. "You have a big heart, Jacob."

He mumbled and the tone let me know he was embarrassed. I frowned and insisted, "No, you really do. You're selfless like that. You would want to know her, admire her, and love her, not just be attracted to her. Otherwise, you would be upset because sex without love would be wrong to a guy like you."

There was a stunned pause. Hot breath washed against my ear and caused my skin to break out in gooseflesh. His arms held me just a bit tighter. "Bella," He hoarsely said, "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

I sat up carefully as his arms reluctantly released me. I twisted at the waist until I was facing him. The position was uncomfortable, but I needed to look him in the eyes. I swallowed noisily before saying, "I love you."

Jacob's lids shut for a moment before he reopened them and gazed at me with dark chocolate eyes. He murmured, "I love you too, Bells."

The sound of the front door slamming shut and the jingling of keys let me know that Charlie was home. I cringed as Jacob laughed quietly. "He has horrible timing."

"He really does." I muttered, eyeing my locked bedroom door dubiously. With a sigh, I flopped onto the empty space beside him. I had one more eyeful below Jacob's waist before he casually pulled the blanket up to our chests. We turned to face each other, my hand underneath my cheek. Jacob was propped up on one elbow and giving me a stunning view of his pectorals and biceps. He said, "My eyes are up here, Bells."

Blushing, I glared at him. Dark eyebrows wiggled playfully as he grinned. Jacob said, "I don't blame you. This body is outrageously sexy."

I burst out laughing and Jacob clapped a big palm over my lips.


	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

We froze, eyes wide and smiling, as we intently listened for sounds of Charlie. There was the soft drone of his voice as he talked on the phone. There was the pattering of rain and the occasional howl from the wind. A shrill beeping from the microwave let me know Charlie had found the leftover pot roast. Another moment passed before I licked Jacob's palm in an attempt for him to release me. His eyes were dark and heavy, the sparkling laughter gradually fading. The cold air grew thick and warm like honey pouring out of a jar. Jacob's palm brushed across my face as he cupped my cheek. He huskily asked, "Did you just _lick me?"_

Blushing, I mumbled, "Maybe."

"Hmm…" Jacob hummed as he leaned over and planted a smacking kiss to my lips. He pulled back just slightly and whispered, "That was unfair of you."

"Was it?" I breathlessly asked, eyes fluttering shut. He pressed a much longer, though still chaste, kiss to my lips. Warm breath washed across my face as Jacob said, "It's only right that I retaliate."

I blinked and mumbled, "Fair is fair."

Jacob gave a bright smile before scuttling right next to me, pressing his chest to my side. One hand was caressing my shoulder while he bent his head and placed a smacking kiss to my forehead. I giggled. He trailed light-hearted kisses across my cheeks and chin before slowly licking and nibbling his way down the column of my throat. Gasping, I threw my head back upon a pillow. Jacob pressed deeper against me and whispered, "Could I…?"

He sucked lightly against my throat and a surprised squeak left my lips. He muttered, "Don't like it?"  
I croaked, "It's good."

I was staring at the murky ceiling, but I felt dizzy. Shutting my eyes, I focused on calming my uneven breathing. Jacob made that impossible. He was leaning much too close, towering over me and sweeping his hot skin against the thin blanket across my chest. His torso was sliding against mine and his head was dipping lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the base of my throat. He nipped at my collarbone, scraping his teeth so gently. He hoarsely asked, "Can I take the blanket off?"

I swallowed and nodded. There was a pause and I worried that I would have to speak out loud, but Jacob must have seen my head moving because he tugged slightly. The blanket rested upon my ribs quite suddenly dropped. My chest was exposed and what little warmth I had gathered seeped from my body. Jacob slowly moved the lower half of his body closer, so he wouldn't have to stretch quite so much. Once I realized what he was doing, I spread my legs enough so that the width of his body could fit in between my thighs. I was nervous, incredibly so, but a few chaste kisses and one lazy sweep of tongues had my head clouding and all worries disappearing.

Jacob's elbows were firmly planted on either side of me. He gave me another long, luxurious kiss before trailing his lips down my collarbone and across my chest. I inhaled sharply, chest heaving, as Jacob's mouth cruised between the valley of my breasts. His chin scraped my skin and I jumped. Once. Twice. He turned right and pressed a kiss to the inner side of my breast. To the left, Jacob repeated the action. My eyes were squeezed shut.

I was embarrassed by how quickly my breath sawed in and out of my lungs. His cheek grazed my right breast, gently settling until the weight of his face was pressed just there. His left hand rubbed against my ribcage before teasingly gliding over the underside of my left breast.

I gasped loudly. Jacob hummed and the vibration traveled across my sternum and went even deeper, digging itself into my bones. His fingertips danced over my skin before softly cupping the weight of each breast. He didn't squeeze, but only tenderly held me for a long moment. With every breath I took, the tip of my nipples grazed against the middle of his palms. One of his hands dropped away. A full mouth began to nibble the underside of my right breast just as Jacob's fingertips began to dance over the opposite side. His thumb began a rhythmic stroke that had my stomach tightening. There was a flashing moment of warm breath and calloused skin on a straining tip. Then, I was sky-rocketing far above myself.

My heels dug into the mattress. One hand gripped at the sheets beside my head while the other reached forward and dug into his silky hair. Jacob's mouth suckled, pulling in such a way that my body jolted in time to his pace. My throat was dry and my lungs refused to work properly. I wheezed, forcing air in and out of my body. My chest heaved as I panted. My body was straining against my will as if it had a mind other than my own. Low, thin noises were falling from my lips. Colors burst behind my closed eyes. There was an insistent, demanding throb between my legs that I had never felt before.

I gasped, "Oh, God. Jacob."

His body lowered until hot skin and a well-defined torso was flush with the softness of my own stomach. The heat was what I wanted, what I needed, so I surged upward. Warmth immediately soaked through the blanket separating our legs. Jacob was breathing as hard as I was. His torso moved quickly and thickly against my own. Both of us were moving because to do anything less would result in some kind of catastrophic disaster. Not to do so would mean I would cease to breathe. Jacob grunted, abruptly switching and putting his mouth on my other breast.

I whined wordlessly as the cold air hit my wet skin. His hand was suddenly there to rub and caress. Warmth built and increased tenfold. There was no way I could pretend as if I didn't feel the hot length of him twitching against my thigh. I was frustrated with the thin fabric of blanket between us, so I released my hand that had been holding to the bed sheets. Fumbling, I reached down and blindly yanked at the blanket. Jacob slowly pulled away from my breast, giving one last lick before looking up at me with wild eyes. He panted, "What are you doing, baby?"

"Blanket." I gasped, "Get rid of it. Now. Hurry."

Jacob nodded, reaching down until his hand was covering mine. Together, we pulled the blanket away. It was Jacob who took over and man-handled the offending fabric until it was tangled at our feet. He stood up on his knees, looking down at me with a dark, almost feral, expression. My eyes flickered over the shape of him. It was still too dark to see clearly, but there was no missing the length and width between his legs. My voice wobbled as I said, "I want to touch you."

Jacob let out a low groan. "Thank God. Do I get to keep touching you, too?"

I smiled softly and nodded. "You better."

He lowered himself, inch by inch, until we were pressed flush against one another for the first time. I could feel his skin twitching as I trembled. My body was taut as a bow, but I lied as still as I possibly could. His hips were the last to press into me. Heat. Sticky, hot heat. Soft velvet over steel. The length of him was trapped between his body and mine, lying between the pillow of my thighs. Jacob inhaled heavily, elbows trembling on either side of my head. His head was turned to the side, so I could see only a darkened side profile of his face. I leaned up just slightly and took his earlobe between my lips. My tongue began a tentative swirl and he moaned quietly. A surging, white-hot thrill shot through me at hearing that noise.

Jacob leaned to one side, holding most of his weight on his elbow as his other hand traveled smoothly over the length of my body from collarbone to the back of my knee. My mouth was clumsy with distraction, but he didn't seem to mind. I opened my lips wide, putting a very gentle bite on his Adam's apple. The next moan vibrated through his throat and into my own. I smiled, but that smile fell lax as fingertips began to creep up my thigh. He drew patterns on my inner thigh, which was damp with sweat. Blushing, I opened my mouth to tell him to stop. The words never came, but stuck in my throat because those fingers were seeking what I didn't know I needed.

The first touch was lighter than a feather. He retreated, massaging the softness of my inner thigh, before brushing the back of his knuckles across my core. I let out a shaky breath. The weight of Jacob's hand disappeared and I squinted in the dark, seeing the outline of his arm lift and hover at his mouth. I wondered what he was doing, but then his seeking fingers were back between my legs. A cool wetness on the tips of his fingers had my body jerking. Spit. He had put his fingers into his mouth moments before. I wasn't sure whether to be offended or not.

He paused with fingers pressed against my entrance. The sound of his deep voice pulled me out of my thoughts and brought me back to trembling bodies and heavy breathing. He roughly whispered, "Want me to stop, honey?"

"No." I whispered before hesitantly adding, "Just scared."

"Of me?" Jacob murmured. I blinked. My body tensed even further when one finger slid upward slowly. So slowly. Up and down. Soft and barely there. I croaked, "I don't want to disappoint you."

"Not possible." He paused before lowly saying, "You feel perfect, Bells."

Slowly and carefully, a thick finger pressed and pressed deeper until I felt knuckles hitting my skin. There was a pause before he began to move ever so slightly. I felt full in such an odd way. My chest moved erratically in time to the beat of my heart. My eyes were heavy. The feeling was part thrill and part worry. Jacob had hunkered down, one elbow still holding himself upward and his twitching length still against my thigh. A warm stickiness was coating that thigh and I knew, with a deep satisfaction, that the wetness was coming from Jacob. And I was the cause. Pooling between us was my own source of wetness. And he was the cause. There was beauty in that reaction.

The rough pad of his thumb suddenly dipped through slippery folds and settled on the small bud at the top of my core. A slow, circular rhythm began in time with the movements of his fingers. My heels dug into the bed again as my head arched backward. A whine choked me and ended on a gargled gasp. Jacob's rhythm skipped a beat and then continued eagerly.

I felt scared at the unknown feelings and powerful sensations ripping through me. My hands were fisted in the sheets of the bed and I wanted to speak to him, wanted to tell him I wasn't sure if I liked this feeling, but the words never came. Instead, I reached blindly and fumbled around until Jacob pulled his hand away from between my slick thighs. He maneuvered quickly and then he was pressing sweet kisses to my bare stomach. Jacob's mouth went even lower, tongue licking over my belly button just once. Alarmed and confused and throbbing, I squinted at him.

"What are you doing, Jake?" I squeaked. My hands shook as I quickly reached down to grab at his hair and cheek in order to keep him still. I saw a flash of burning eyes and then Jacob huskily said, "I want to try something even better."

"Something better?" I asked, dread and curiosity fighting within my head. I frowned, wondering and thinking and somehow knowing. "Y-You want to do…that?"

"If you mean put my mouth on you, then yes." He whispered as he turned his head slightly and nuzzled my hand. He roughly whispered, "Hell yes."

"I don't…what if…?" My voice was hoarse and thin. My thoughts were too few and too many for me to make sense of anything. Jacob murmured, "Don't stress, honey. We don't have to do this. I can stop right now."

I blinked. There was a pause. He growled, "I want to. Just know that I want to so badly. God, Bells, you smell great."

There was a pause. He kissed just behind my knee. My body broke out in gooseflesh. I gulped and whispered, "Okay."

His head snapped upward. He roughly asked, "Okay?"

"Yeah." I whispered with a nod, "Okay."

Jacob's lips slid across my thigh. I felt him smile. Warm, slick heat was suddenly everywhere. I gasped, my hands reaching down and curling into his hair as if they were meant to be there. His big palms cradled my thighs as my eyes slowly fell shut. My heart was beating a thrilling rhythm in my throat. We stayed like that, intertwined with my fingers carding through his silky hair while he sprawled between my legs, until the sun rose and burst across a pink sky.


	31. Chapter Thirty

Several days went by in a strange lull. I had become used to calling Jacob and leaving voicemails, informing him of where I was going and why. I knew his pack was likely more than aware of where and what I was doing, but there was a sense of security in personally telling Jacob.

More often than not, Quil was watching me in the late evenings. There were a few times- a dreary Tuesday evening at Newton's- that I saw a flash of a dark gray wolf from across the road. Embry. I knew, although I didn't comprehend the entirety, that Jacob being Alpha changed the entire dynamic of La Push. The pack was his to lead now. The looming threat of Victoria and her accomplices were deadlier now.

Jacob couldn't watch me as much as he had beforehand. He was needed to plan and direct his people for all possibilities, which was why the Cullens were so important. At least, in Jacob's mind, the only good use for the Cullens was their lack of physical and mental needs. As Carlisle had explained, vampires had no bodily limitations. Strong and steady bodies. Capable minds. Extraordinary powers. An advantage. A surprise. This meant Jacob and the Cullens were allies, but the truce was strained at best. At worst, it was downright crumbling.

I avoided Edward as much as I could, which was to say not much at all. We were in close proximity five days out of seven. It was a cowardly act, but I needed to regroup. I had no idea what to say to him, so I said nothing. The day after Edward's confession- the one where he looked like an agonized God sitting in the crappy cab of my truck- I dreaded going back to school. I had not slept a wink and had hastened to get dressed after a quick, hot shower. The wet clothes I left in the hallway were gone and I wondered, in horror, if Charlie had picked them up. Jacob was long gone from my bed, having left just after sunrise, but he had been in the forefront of my mind as I raced to dress. That morning, I was sore from muscles constantly flexing during my time with Jacob. The memory of him chased me every second since. I had been so distracted with flashing memories of Jacob's touch, taste, and sound that I hadn't realized Edward sat beside me in Spanish class until the bell rang.

He hadn't bothered speaking, but his face looked pained on more than one occasion. More often than not, I could see his eyes were black as tar. He walked around with his nose perpetually wrinkled. Every time our gazes met, Edward quickly looked away. I felt guilty and restless and tired. My homework was suffering for it, but I barely cared. Each evening, I crossed off another day on my calendar with relish. Graduation was only four weeks away and I would be done with the hell of high school forever. The restlessness grew so incredible that I desperately asked Mrs. Newton for extra shifts at the store. With pity in her eyes, she had given me two extra shifts. Mike thanked me happily and told me he was taking a long weekend in Seattle with Jessica.

I was ridiculously grateful and hoped they had a romantic time. It was Friday afternoon, just past three o'clock, and I was sweeping the store's floors. A truck of supplies had come in at lunchtime, which meant I had plenty to keep me busy. Mrs. Newton was in her office and there were no customers to be seen. Faintly, I could hear the speakers playing old blues music. Beyond that, there was the rhythmic tapping of Mrs. Newton's fingertips on a keyboard.

After putting away the broom, I loaded cardboard boxes onto a cart and wheeled my way down isles. With a cutter, I carefully sliced through thick tape and began unloading supplies into neat piles on the floor. Backpacks. Coolers. Thermoses. Flasks. Paracord. Rope. Slowly, but surely, I made my way through each box. By the time I had gotten to the last large box and wheeled my way to the final isle, the weak sunrays had disappeared completely. The harsh florescent was my only source of light. It bothered me, although I wasn't sure why.

A late-night customer came in, an old man in need of new boots. After he chose what he wanted, I rang up his purchase and cash was exchanged. I said, "Thank you, sir. Have a nice evening."

I went back to my cart. Squatting at the knees, I pulled the cutter from the pocket of my jeans and sliced through the tape on the flap of the box. Instantly, a searing pain in my finger had me loudly gasping. The cutter clattered to the tiled floor as I jumped up. My eyes saw only a blurry glimpse of red and then my eyes squeezed shut of their own accord. Gulping, I slapped my uninjured hand over my finger. Warm, thick liquid squished against my skin. I gagged and stumbled my way in the general direction of the public bathroom. My shoulder rammed into the wall twice before it managed to hit the wood of the bathroom door. Falling through the door, I opened my eyes and rushed to the sinks.

With a fortifying breath, I stared straight at myself in the mirror. My hair was pulled back in a messy tail. My skin was pale and purple shadows were prominent under my eyes. I was shaking as my fingers fumbled for the sink knobs. Shoving my bleeding finger under the spray of cold water, I winced and gasped again. My feet shifted nervously and I had to brace myself on the edge of the sink with one hand. I tried to breathe through my mouth, but I could smell the thick, metallic scent of blood.

Gagging again, I blindly reached for a paper towel from the dispenser along the wall. There was another quick glance of blood dripping before I managed to wrap several sheets of paper over the cut. The pain and amount of blood told me this wasn't quite a cut to the bone, but it was still deep. On shaky legs, I tucked my injured hand against my chest and awkwardly bent down to mop tiny dots of crimson off of the tiled floor. I did this all the way back to my cart. There was a dark red puddle the size of a large coin right next to the box of hiking boots I had planned to unpack.

I tried to yank and pull on the cart with one hand, but only managed to thoroughly lose my breath. Blurry dots were dancing in my vision. Abruptly, I sat on the floor and breathed. More than once, I had to swallow heavily in order not to vomit. I wiped clammy sweat off of my forehead and slowly stood up. I walked to the front counter and carefully removed my employee-vest, stuffing it under the register. I ducked my head into Mrs. Newton's tidy, little office. She was shutting down her computer and reaching for a stack of overflowing manilla folders.

I said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Newton, I've had an accident. I need to leave early."

Mrs. Newton was on her feet quickly and coming my way. I could see the concern and panic edging into her blue eyes. I gave a feeble smile and said, "Don't worry about it. I hurt myself all the time. This really isn't anything new. It's just a little cut. I'm going to head home now. I have a med-kit there."

"Bella, surely we should head to the hospital. What happened?" Mrs. Newton fretted as she reached out as if she might just grab ahold of my injured hand. I tucked it closer to my chest and firmly said, "I'm fine. I'm going home now. Sorry for an inconvenience, Mrs. Newton. I'll be here for my shift tomorrow."

"Oh, no." Mrs. Newton called as I walked to the front of the store once more. "Don't worry about it, dear. Take time and rest up. Come in at your usual time on Monday. Do I need to call Charlie, dear?"

"No, Mrs. Newton." I called out as I gathered my purse from under the counter and headed out the door. There was a tingling of bells above my head that halted as soon as the glass door fell closed. Glancing around, I took in the empty parking lot and dark expanse of wooded area across the small road just beyond. I fumbled to hold my purse and fish out my truck keys, but finally managed.

With a huff, I unlocked the truck door and tossed my purse on the seat. The leather strap got caught on the wad of paper towels wrapped around my hand, causing me to swear hotly. There was a burning sensation and the snow-white paper went dark pink around the middle. With a sigh, I climbed into the cab and only slipped once trying to do so. I cranked the engine, taking comfort in the roaring sound that pierced the silent night air. I was reaching to close the truck's door when a movement caught my eye.

My heart dropped and ceased to beat for a terrifyingly long moment. My fingers curled around the cool metal of my truck's handle. A few yards away, standing in the middle of a wet and dark parking lot, was a man I had never seen before. He had hair as black as pitch. His skin was pasty white, even paler than my own, and his eyes were vividly red. His lips were pulled back into a mockery of a smile. Sharp teeth were visible.

My breath burst out of me so suddenly that I startled myself. I blinked and the vampire was standing within arm's reach of my ajar door. I flinched back and he laughed quietly. It was a grating sound like the scratching of fingernails on a chalkboard. I flinched again. His voice echoed softly and clearly in the night air. "Won't you run from me, Isabella?"

"No." I breathed shakily, "It's pointless."

One black eyebrow arched sharply. He smirked and said, "Smart. I was told you were reasonably intelligent, although I do not see how with the company you keep. Has no one ever told you that vampires are deadly to humans, child?"

I swallowed. My body trembled, but I couldn't move my limbs. It was as if my body was frozen solid, but my mind was hot and panicking wildly. The vampire had an accent, but I couldn't place it with my limited knowledge of ethnicities and cultures. Slowly, I killed the engine of my truck. He inhaled through a beak-like nose and crooned, "You smell lovely."

Another blink. He was in front of me. The cool wind from his movement brought a sharp pain in my spine and the scent of blood. There was sweetness too, but like the scent of overripened fruit. A thick, pale hand shot out and a choking whimper left my throat, but I didn't scream. I was overly aware of Mrs. Newton just inside her family's store. The vampire's grip was uncomfortably tight and despite wanting to twist out of his grasp, I knew it was impossible. I would only hurt myself quicker by trying to physically fight him off.

_Stall._ I needed to stall him. There was someone coming, either a wolf or a Cullen. I was rarely left alone and when I was, it was only for minutes during a change in shift between wolf and vampire. An unfamiliar, big nose was running its way up and down my neck. He inhaled sharply. I croaked, "What do you want?"

"Oh, you know, darling." He chuckled, "Victoria allowed me to assist. I've promised your head at her feet."

Abruptly, one hand slapped both my wrists together and held them between his long fingers. The other hand was propped underneath my bottom and thighs. I cringed and tried to hold back a sob. He moved with a blur of speed and my eyes popped open, taking in the dizzy blur of dark green trees and black pavement. I gasped, "Just kill me. Kill me here and go. Make it look like a mugging."

"Eager for death, are we, human?" The vampire laughed sharply as he ran. I tried to keep track of which directions he turned, but it was too dark and he was moving too fast. Cold air bit at my exposed cheeks and neck. My eyes were tearing up and then they shut slowly. A wave of nausea came upon me. His gait was smooth, but the occasional quick jump had my stomach rolling. My injured finger jerking painfully. I muttered urgently, "I'm going to be sick."

There was a heavy sigh and then the icy air was no longer slapping at my face. The vampire maneuvered my body within milliseconds and then I was upright. My world tilted. I wobbled, both hands pin-wheeling to the sides in a pitiful attempt to keep my balance. The vampire's hand shot out and gripped me by the back of my sweater, but he caught the end of my long ponytail, too. I yelped and the sharp hold loosened. He dryly said, "Hurry up, darling. I don't have all night."

Leaning over, my lips trembled and my dry throat ached. I coughed loudly, which nearly caused me to fall over again. The vampire caught me by the elbow and snapped, "Enough of this. We must clear the state line in a timely manner."

"If you keep running like that," I croaked, "I'm going to vomit all over you."

I glanced up at him to see ruby-red eyes rounded. White clouds billowed into the air as I fought to breathe through my panic and sickness. I mumbled, "Do you have to bring me to her? Is that what she asked of you?"

"Yes." He replied exasperatedly, "Come along. We have to put better distance."

With that, the vampire scooped me up and began to run again. My hair whipped forward and slapped me in the face. The cold air was causing wind burns along my cheeks. The tip of my nose was so numb that I could no longer feel it. My lips felt swollen. My stomach rolled again and again. Twice, I gagged and dry heaved. All the vampire did was maneuver me and place an unforgiving hand on the nape of my neck to hold my head toward the ground as he ran on.

A quick peek between blurry eyes and midnight's darkness, I saw the edge of the highway and a thick forest of trees. We were in an area I did not recognize. I saw no signs or buildings. Hot tears stung my cheeks as they poured silently. My entire body was wrecked with violent tremors. The vampire only held me tighter. My arms grew numb. Flashes of Jacob and Charlie came to me again and again and again. I knew, with some sort of profound sense, that neither of them would live without me in their life. They may exist, but they would never live. Renee, as heartbroken as she might be at my death, would move on. She was so innocent, yet strong in ways I had never understood. She was eccentric and fanciful and exuberant. She was unafraid of new things and unknowns. She was, as far as I could tell, fearful of nothing. My mother was an incredibly free-spirit with such a love for life that nothing could ever daunt her for long. Not even the death of her only daughter.

And my friends. My friends would mourn me for a time, but they were young and had full lives to look forward to. Though, Charlie was different. He was like me. He attached himself so thoroughly to a person that he could never completely let them go. He despised change and clung to what he knew best. Without me, Charlie would revert back into himself. He would eat, work, and repeat. He would do his duty to protect the town of Forks until he died. And that was all he would do. There would be no backyard fish fries and laughter. No fires on the beach with the salty ocean as a friend. There would be no importantly awkward conversations at the breakfast table. No quiet nights watching sport games on television. No more one-armed hugs and blushing cheeks. No more early mornings where he whistled a tune as he loaded up his fishing gear into his cruiser. No cheerful waves goodbye.

And _Jacob._ Oh, God, Jacob. With nearly clairvoyant clarity, I knew who Jacob would become without me. An angry, bitter, twisted version of himself. The flicker of darkness that had invaded the sunshine of my Jacob would take over. Those mocha-chocolate eyes would go flat black. His full lips would stay sneering instead of smiling. His infectious laughter and bear-hugs would be a thing of the past. In their place would be sarcastic comments and rude gestures. His golden patience would cease to exist. His warmth would be smothered in ice. _Jacob._

And suddenly, I was angry. Rageful. Terrified. Desperate. The wind was a monster roaring in my ears, but I heard the faintest sound. It echoed once more and a sharp curse escaped from the vampire clutching me. My heart was pounding against my ribs. Hard. I sucked in a deep breath and felt my chest expand. _"JACOB!"_

Before I could inhale to scream again, there was a stunning force slamming into the side of my face. My vision went dark at the edges. The roaring of the air had ceased and now all I heard was distorted ringing. My jaw was aching and I was afraid to move my mouth because it felt painfully odd. Copper was on my tongue and my lip was oozing blood. My muddled brain took a moment to realize the vampire had slapped me. My body was limp and beyond my control even as the vampire spun around. Abruptly, he dropped me.

The ground rushed up to meet me and the impact was forceful enough to knock the air from my lungs. The jolting pressure of my head hitting a solid object had my vision going grey for a time. There were vibrations thundering within the ground and it rattled my numb body. I tried to move my arms, but they flopped uselessly. I tried to turn my head, but sharp pains sliced through my skull. Blinking rapidly, I stared at a mass of dark colors far above me. Finally, I realized I was seeing the dark-blue sky and the tips of evergreen trees. I swallowed convulsively, but the one attempt to open my mouth ended with me drooling and gagging.

"BELLA!" A voice bellowed, "Bella!"

And then I heard another voice. And another.

"Fucker is deader than dead now."

Cold hands were running lightly along my body and I tried to jerk away. Whimpering sounds echoed all around me. The voices were deep and obviously male, although the conversation was occurring too swiftly for me to comprehend. The name _Carlisle_ echoed through my head even as another voice repeated, "Yes. He's here to help, Bella. Stay still now, please."

Staring at the dark blue-sky, I realized there was a hotness on my hand. Fingers. Warm fingers were wrapped around my own. I blinked and drew in a sharp breath, which caused my body to scream in alarm. I choked on a moan. Voices, some soft and others hard, bounced back and forth.

"Blood. I smell blood."

"A cut on her finger only."

"She likely has a concussion."

"Her jaw is not broken, but a fracture is possible."

_"Bitten?_ Goddamnit, has she been _bitten?"_

"No. I see no bites on visible skin."

"Her clothes are intact."

"Thank God."

There was a steady, familiar sound that broke through my hazy mind. It was a musically foreign language. More voices joined in. A beautiful language. Foreign and familiar at the same time. The pack. I croaked, "Jake. Jacob?"

"Yeah, honey." I heard his husky voice whisper, "I'm here."

"Charlie." I mumbled, "Charlie, please."

"Cullen is bringing a car. We'll fix you up and I'll bring you to your dad. I promise, honey. Just try to lie still for now."

I croaked, "Vampire?"

Jacob growled softly, "Dead. I killed him, Bella."

I breathed in roughly and mumbled, "Cold."

"I can't pick you up, baby." He rasped painfully, "Carlisle said you might have injured your back. I can't…Damnit."

"S'okay." I slurred, "I'm…fine. Just stay."

"Always." He replied quickly. I felt the warmth of his fingers wrapping around my own. There were several beats of silence before I felt the heft of fabric lying against my chest. It smelled of pine needles and sweetness. Jacob muttered, "Thanks."

"Of course." A voice with the slightest southern twang replied quietly. I croaked, "Thank you, Jasper."

"You're welcome, Bella." He somberly answered. Somewhere after that, I fell unconscious.

When I woke, I was in my own bed in my childhood bedroom. The garden lanterns and purple bed linens were all the same. Gauzy curtains were pulled shut and Jacob was lying beside me. Reflexively, I slowly rolled my neck toward the door and was relieved to find it shut. Jacob was in my bed, although sitting up and wide awake. Dark brown eyes were watching me oddly. My heart skipped a beat when I realized there were wetness glistening down his sharp cheeks and wide-set jawline.

"Jacob?" I croaked and winced.

He sat up, quickly retrieving a glass of tepid water off of the nightstand. I sat up and he supported my weak body with one thick arm. Jacob held the glass up to my lips and I swallowed greedily, spilling some down the front of my shirt. Still, I continued to drink until the glass was empty and I was gasping.

"Here, honey." He said, "Take these painkillers."

Wordlessly, I accepted the small white pill and popped it into my mouth. I asked, "From Carlisle?"

"Yeah." Jacob replied with a nod. "He said take them every four hours."

"The pain isn't that bad." I cleared my throat before replying. When he didn't say anything more, I slowly maneuvered my body until I was lying against his side. I asked, "What are we telling Charlie?"

"I told him you slipped trying to get into your truck." Jacob replied tightly, "Told him you hit the pavement face-first and it looked bad, so I took you to Sue before bringing you home."

I sighed, "Better than anything I could have come up with."

"Don't act like this is nothing, Bella." He said. The tone of his voice sent my heart into a standstill for a moment. I croaked, "I'm okay, Jacob."

"No." He snapped as he sat up rather abruptly. "You aren't okay. Damnit, Bella, you should see your face. It's purple and black."

I blinked and muttered, "Fashion statement."

Jacob narrowed his eyes. I said, "Okay. That was a lame joke."

"You were almost fucking killed." He flatly stated, "I almost let you die."

I was shaking my head before he ever finished speaking. I replied urgently, "That isn't true. You saved me."

"No." Jacob snarled, "The Cullens saved you."

I blinked and swallowed. "What?"

"Cullen and Pixie were leagues ahead of us." Jacob explained lowly, "They caught the leech's scent at Newton's and alerted us all. Cullen heard the leech's thoughts and located you first. He engaged Red-Eyes for a solid twenty seconds before I managed to get on the scene and take the enemy by surprise."

"Twenty seconds." I echoed faintly, "You were only seconds behind. It isn't that big of a deal, Jake. It's okay. I'm fine. You're fine."

"Seconds mean the difference between life and death." He snapped, "It's a huge fucking deal, Bella."

He was growling deeply in his chest as he pounced off of my bed and began to pace entirely too fast. I pushed down the sense of dizziness that suddenly wanted to overtake me. Jacob struck me with an accusingly dark glare. He huffed, "Your life is damn well important deal. Too important."

He took a breath and explained in a rush, "We have to pull you from Newton's. I'm sorry, but you have to quit. We need to narrow down your comings and goings while also increasing your protection. When you aren't at school, I need you at my house. I can keep multiple wolves on you there. At school, you'll have Cullen and Pixie indoors. Blondie and her Boytoy will take point in the surround woods instead of monitoring all of Forks."

I mumbled, "Okay."

Jacob went on as if he hadn't heard me. "I don't want you alone. No more grocery shopping after school without somebody at your side. No more walking across parking lots at night. Actually, no more traveling by yourself at night at all."

"Okay, Jacob." I replied testily. "Just calm down and breathe, yeah?"

He let out a huff and continued his pacing. I stood up and made my way to him on weak legs. Jacob glanced at me as I came to stop right in front of him. My hands reached up and smoothed over his shoulders. His skin was hot and silky beneath my trembling fingers. I looked him in the eyes and whispered, "I thought I was going to die. I asked him to kill me here, in Forks, because the idea of dying anywhere else was horrible to me. As crazy as it sounds, I didn't want to part from you in any way. I had too much time to think about how you and Charlie would cope without me. My mind was making all kinds of sick decisions. It was terrifying, Jacob. You're missing one crucial thing right now."

Jacob swallowed heavily. "What's that?"

"I'm not dead." I whispered, "I'm alive and I'm here with you."

"Yeah." He croaked and blinked rapidly. His eyes watered. He cleared his throat and reached down, scooping me up and holding me tightly to his chest. My ribs ached and my shoulders shook, but I refused to complain. "I love you, Bells."

"And I love you, Jake. Do you know what my mind kept circling back to over and over again with that vampire?"

I listened to the thrumming of Jacob's heart. His voice was a deep bass as he replied, "What did you think of?"

My cheeks went hot and I tucked my face closer to his chest. I whispered shyly, "I kept thinking of the other night. I kept thinking about how stupidly tragic it was that I would die without knowing what it felt like to…to _be_ with you."

His breath caught in his throat. He rumbled, "Are you saying you want to…?"

"Yeah." I murmured.

"Bells, you're hurt." He whispered with a sigh as he kissed the top of my ear.

"I want to," I insisted with a hot blush, "but only if you want to."

"I do." Jacob quietly said, "I really do."

I rubbed my cheek against his pectoral and whispered, "Then, kiss me. Love me."

Slowly, Jacob laid me back upon the bed. And he did.


	32. Chapter Thirty One

By Monday morning, my injuries were even worse looking than they had been when the Cullens and the pack rescued me. Charlie had eyed my face strangely before suggesting I stay home for a few more days of recovery. Jacob had patrolled and then laid beside me Sunday night, whispering quietly and begging me to stay home. I woke, showered, and dressed while he dozed on my bed. I brought toasted bagels to him roughly thirty minutes before I had to leave. When he caught sight of the bruises once more, he flinched. I sighed, "Jake. Please. I'm alright."

"Sure, sure." He sighed sadly. "Don't leave yet. When Charlie takes off, I'll meet you in the driveway."

Ten minutes later, I waved goodbye to Charlie as his cruiser pulled out the drive. Jacob was out of the house and jumping in the passenger seat fairly quickly. He was still wearing the same wrinkled shorts from the night before. The T-shirt he was wearing was an old thread-bare one that I had stolen from his bedroom months before. As I drove, I said, "You should really keep more clothes at my house. I can make room in my dresser."

He offered a grin and said, "Next time you come to La Push, I'll throw a bag in your truck. How's that?"

"Perfect." I agreed as I parked. There were many students mingling around cars. I could see Mike and Tyler chasing each other around quite energetically. Jessica, Ben, and Angela were laughing at them. Eric was trying to be sneaky as he stole an object out of Mike's dropped backpack.

"Your buddy, Mike, going to freak out when you quit Newton's?" Jacob asked.

I shrugged, "I don't think so. We're about to graduate. For all he knows, I could be moving away for college. I know Jessica is."

Jacob swallowed heavily and hummed under his breath. I frowned and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Besides vampires?" He offered flatly, "Just wondering about the future."

I bit my bottom lip and slowly asked, "What about it?"

Jacob met my gaze intently. He offered a small smile. "Where are you going to go to college at, Bells? Have you applied for any schools yet?"

"A few." I sighed and rubbed my temples. My face hurt, so I winced and dropped my hands. I looked up at the roof of the cab and said, "Honestly, I'm not really concerned about any of it. There's a chance I won't even-"

"Don't say that." Jacob retorted hotly, "I won't let that happen. The redhead leech will be dead soon. I'm working with the Cullens. We've pushed patrols as far as we can now. Pixie's visions sorta helps. If something changes, she lets us know. We act accordingly."

I stared across the parking lot. The shrill bell pierced the air, but it was muffled from within the truck. My group of friends walked into the building along with many others. I said, "I'm going to call Mrs. Newton on break. I'd like to give her a two-week notice, but I understand why I can't."

"What are you going to tell her?" Jacob wondered.

I replied, "That Charlie wants me resting because of my injury. That I've applied for the community college in Port Angeles and would probably have left at the end of summer, anyway."

Jacob cleared his throat and muttered, "Okay. Yeah. Sounds good."

"I've got to head in or I'll be late for first period." I explained as I reached across the cab. His arms and warmth engulfed me. His full mouth brushed against the shell of my ear and made me shiver. He whispered, "I'll keep watch. See you later, Bells."

I nodded wordlessly and hurried into the building to escape the bite of cold in the air. As I had anticipated, everyone was horrified by the state of my face. One half was mottled with purple and blue. The swelling of my eye had gone down over the weekend, but I knew how rough I looked. I endured the sympathetic glances, kind words, and questions. I repeated the words ' _I slipped in the parking lot at work. Face first on the pavement. Got a concussion'_ at least ten times.

Because our year was coming to an end, there was little to do besides turn in last-minute assignments and study for upcoming exams. Next week would be a stressful week. End-of-year exams would be the difference between passing or failing high school. I wasn't very confident that I would ace all my tests, but I was fairly sure I wouldn't out-right fail at any one subject. Trig made me nervous, though, because it was advanced beyond my mathematical capabilities.

At lunchtime, despite the decent weather, I told my friends I had a headache and didn't want to sit outside at the picnic tables. Angela stayed inside the cafeteria with me. We talked quietly about our future because that seemed to be the one thing on every single person's mind. It was a subject I wished to avoid altogether, but Angela was by far my favorite school friend. I didn't want to seem rude, so I listened as she explained her plans. Four-year degree at Washington State.

It had taken some convincing due to her parents' nervous nature, but Angela wanted to become a teacher. When her family found out Ben and Jessica were also attending Washington State, they had eased up. Jessica and Angela were already signing papers and booking a tour of the campus. They were applying for room and board scholarships. Ben had an uncle who was willing to rent out his studio apartment to his nephew. I was genuinely happy for the three of them. That happiness soured somewhat as I thought of my own non-existent plans. Angela politely asked, "What are your plans, Bella?"

"Nothing concrete." I murmured while sipping from a bottle of water. My eyes continuously scanned the large windows around the cafeteria. I was aware that Alice and Edward could hear every word I spoke from across the room. If they could hear me, then Jacob probably could as well. He was in wolf form somewhere at the edge of the tree line just outside the school building. Protecting me.

"It's such a scary thing to think about, isn't it?" Angela said as she took a bite of her turkey sandwich. I nodded absent-mindedly, "Yeah. It is."

"If you need help applying or want to discuss ideas with anyone," She responded, "you can talk to me. I'm happy to help."

I smiled and replied, "Yeah. I know, Ang. Thank you."

Shortly after that, I excused myself and walked outside. I followed the walkway to the nearest bathroom. I used my cellphone to call Mrs. Newton and tried to maintain an even tone. She was rather speechless, but expressed her regret at my abrupt end to employment. With a regretful sigh, I pushed my cellphone into my backpack and made my way to my next class. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. Too many sleepless nights paired with a beating from a vampire had left me feeling so tired.

Jacob was in the driver's seat of my truck by the time I stumbled across the parking lot. A grey mist swirled about. Icy rain was drizzling down and soaking my hair. I climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the door. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other stretched across the length of the cab. He whispered, "You look beat, honey."

"I feel it." I muttered and pushed closer to his side. He said, "I'm going to take you to La Push, okay? Pixie had a vision about an hour ago."

"Of what?" I asked anxiously as I sat up. Jacob reached out with one hand and softly pressed my head down to rest against his shoulder once more. "Jacob?"

He sighed heavily, "They're coming. She saw them traveling from the outskirts of Seattle."

My aching body suddenly felt numb. As he drove, Jacob glanced at me. His face contorted as he whispered, "Don't do this to yourself. It's going to be fine, Bella. I'll take care of this."

"You don't know how many she has on her side, Jacob." I croaked, "Alice doesn't even know. Her visions aren't perfect. Does she know how long until they're in Forks?"

Jacob gripped the steering wheel tighter and pushed the truck just a tad faster. He said, "No. That's why the Cullens are all patrolling. As soon as we cross into La Push territory, Pixie and Asshat are going to join the rest of their coven. Sam and I worked out a grid pattern just a little while ago. As soon as they come anywhere near Forks, we will know it."

I said nothing. Only stared out the window. My breath was coming in short pants. Jacob firmly said, "Breathe slower, Bella. It's okay."

"No," I muttered as we turned off of the main road, "it isn't."

"You're going to stay with Billy at our house." Jacob replied, "You aren't leaving until this is sorted out. I stopped by earlier and packed some of your things. I left the bag on my bed. When you get there, call Charlie. I hate lying to him, and I know you do too, but we have to keep him in La Push. For his safety."

I nodded vigorously, "Yes."

"Billy is going to pretend to be sick. You can tell Charlie that you're helping me take care of him. Sue has already been told and she's going to pretend to be very busy. The flu is going around the Rez. She's going to tell Charlie she could use his, and your, help. Billy is going to ham it up. Vomiting. Shaking. Fever. The works. You're going to come down with it as well by tomorrow."

I felt hot tears building in my eyes. I wiped at my face and kept myself firmly turned away from him as Jacob slowed the truck down the muddy lanes of La Push. He muttered, "I hate lying, too. I'm reminding myself that it's to protect, Charlie."

"He's safest here." I croaked.

"Yeah," Jacob replied as he cut the engine, "He is much safer here."

"Okay. I can do it." I roughly mumbled as I climbed from the truck. Jacob followed me into the house. I was immediately surprised at what I saw. There were over-the-counter medicine bottles sitting on the kitchen table. A pile of crumpled tissues was on the coffee right next to Billy's chair. His nose and eyes were red. He looked dull and was wearing an extra sweater. There was a blanket across his lap. He held a mug in his hand.

"Hello, Bella." He spoke deeply and gravely.

My voice shook as I said, "Hi, Billy."

"There's coffee on, if you'd like." He replied and turned back to the grainy screen of his television.

Jacob took my hand and brought me to his bedroom. He had my backpack swung over his shoulder, which he dropped at the end of his bed. He pointed to the black bag sitting atop his mattress and said, "I hope I grabbed everything you need."

I wanted to be mad at him for digging through my belongings, but couldn't find the energy to care. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. "What now?"

"Now," He said, "I meet up with the pack. The Cullens are all running point around the outskirts of Forks. This leaves us to really close ranks and fortify La Push."

"Aren't you all spread out too thin?" I asked quickly, "How will the pack and the Cullens fight together when Victoria shows up?"

"Miles are easy to travel." Jacob replied, "The Cullens are pretty fast, but so are we. I'd say Leah and I are the fastest. We could span across the entire town of Forks in less than four minutes. If they send out the signal, we will be there."

"People can be killed in seconds." I croaked and dropped to the edge of his bed. My hands went to my face. I tried to hold back the sobs, but they strangled me and forced themselves out of my mouth. The bed dipped beside me. I felt Jacob's warmth and smelled his crisp scent. His warm palms rubbed gently along my shoulders as he whispered, "I've got to go, honey. I'll be back as soon as I can. Try not to make yourself sick. You aren't giving us enough credit. We have to end this. I'm going to keep you safe, do you hear me, Bells?"

I shook my head and threw myself into his chest. Jacob hugged me tightly as I thumped him on the shoulder and demanded, "You come back. Please, Jacob, you come back tonight."

There was a pause. He sighed, "I'll do my best, Bells. You know that I wouldn't ever willingly leave you, don't you?"

I thought about my answer for a long time before croaking, "Yes. I know."

He pressed a kiss to the side of my head before touching his fingertip to my chin. I tilted upward, eyes closed, as a full mouth met mine. I melted almost instantly. Fire ignited and spread at an alarming rate. Hands fisted and scrapped as if they could somehow force him to stay with me. Lips and tongues clashed. Harsh breaths were devoured urgently. Jacob moaned lowly and yanked his mouth away from mine.

He ducked down and pressed quick kisses to my neck as he whispered, "I love you. I've had a crush on you since I was a little kid. I always thought you were so pretty. My sisters used to tease me about you. When I heard you were moving back, I was surprised by how excited I was. I was so damn nervous when we came to give you the truck. When you asked me to show you how to drive, I thought I would pass out."

I let out a watery laugh and clung tightly to him. His big chest moved and vibrated as he spoke. "Bella, I've been in love with you since the moment you showed up in my yard with broken motorcycles. You looked so damn sad and lost. All I wanted to do was help you. To make you smile or laugh. I love you."

I pulled back, cupping his broad jaw in my hands. I had to blink tears away before his blurry face came into focus. I took in mocha eyes, dark brows, and full lips. I whispered, "I love you, too."


	33. Chapter Thirty Two

The wait was terrible. I fought for any minor distraction. Arming myself with a bucket and bleach, I scrubbed the tiny bathroom until I was dizzy with fumes and sweating. Once, midway through the cleaning job, Billy rolled down the hallway to find me elbows deep in the old toilet bowl. He raised his eyebrows, but said nothing and rolled back to the den. The kitchen was fairly clean, so it took only minutes to wash the few soiled dishes in the sink. Opening the refrigerator, I saw there was little more than leftover fish fry and outdated milk. Worrying my bottom lip, I combed through the cabinets and pulled out the few items I could find. I was staring at a jar of pickles and three cans of black beans, wondering what in the world I could cook, when the phone rang. The shrill sound caused me to jump. Just as quickly as that, my heart was pounding. My throat was dry. My hands were shaking. And I was acutely aware of how deadly a situation we were all in.

I turned, swallowing tightly, as Billy calmly answered the landline. His dark eyes and voice were steady. "Hello?"

I stepped into the den and didn't bother hiding the fact that I was listening. Billy stared at me as he nodded and said, "Yeah, Charlie. That would be nice. Bella is trying, poor thing, but she seems pretty tired."

There was a pause. Billy said, "I think she might be getting sick, herself. Will do. Yeah. See you then. Bye."

He hung up the phone and sighed, "Charlie is leaving the station. As far as I know, the Cullens are on patrol around the area. Somebody will be follow him here."

I nodded and stared at my shoes. Billy said, "It would do you good to rub your eyes a bit. You look tired, so that will help."

I nodded once more and turned back to the sink. I stood there until I heard the low volume of the television. I rubbed at my eyes just as suggested until they were watering profusely. After a moment, I sat at the rickety table and put my hands over my face. The silent tears fell and I let them. A warm hand on my shoulder had me startling. I looked up to find Billy passing me a mug of warm coffee with a kind expression. He said, "Those boys are tough, Bella. They know what honor is. You should be proud of them. Of Jacob."

My voice crackled as I whispered, "It's who he is. He keeps me safe even when I wish he wouldn't bother."

"Protectors, Bella." Billy replied lowly, "Their spirits are made for this."

"And if they die?" I demanded in a wavering voice. My wet eyes swung his way. We stared in silence. My breath hitched, "If Seth or Leah dies, that breaks their family apart even more. If Sam dies, he leaves behind a widowed fiancé. They all have families and friends. They would suffer because of me. If Jacob dies…I…I…"

I dropped my forehead to the table and began slowly rocking myself. I choked out, "He has to live. Nothing will make sense if…"

Moments passed with a thick silence. I didn't touch my coffee and neither did Billy. After a while, I wiped at my eyes and glanced toward my right. He still sat beside the table, but was no longer looking at me. His dark eyes, familiar eyes, were trained on the front window. The sky was a dark gray. Mist was swirling about and the weakest rays of sunlight were nearly faded from view. A moment later, Charlie's police cruiser pulled in. I couldn't see him, but I could hear the stomping of his feet and the slam of a door. Sitting up straighter, I glanced nervously at Billy. He said, "You look sick enough. Charlie's smart and will see through lies. You're upset and sick right now. He will know that. He just won't know the real reason as to why."

I rubbed at my eyes with a frantic hand just seconds before Charlie pushed the front door open. The wood was warped, so it stuck and required an extra hit at times. After Charlie stumbled through the door, he paused to look at us. With a sympathetic expression, he set down a box of pizza and a plastic bag filled with medicines. He asked, "You getting the flu, Bells?"

I nodded and muttered, "Probably."

"How's the fever, Billy?" Charlie asked as he took a seat. It didn't escape my notice that Billy's voice had taken on a much huskier tone since we had spoken moments ago. He replied, "Low-grade finally."

"You keeping any food down?" Charlie asked as he opened the greasy box and grabbed a slice of pizza. My stomach was churning and my heart was pounding a deep beat into my throat, so I just stared at the tabletop. Billy sighed, "Not much. Crackers."

"Yeah," Charlie spoke after eating his food, "Sue gave me a call. Said kids all over the rez are down for the count. I suspect Jake will be sick as a dog soon enough."

"Yeah," I croaked when I noticed Charlie's eyes on me. He had a slight frown and there was a question in his gaze that I pretended not to notice. I cleared my throat and said, "Jake's been so busy lately. He's not taking proper care of himself. He felt warm to the touch yesterday when I saw him. Could be where I caught it from."

Charlie's frown deepened. Billy piped up, "Kid has a good immune system. Rarely gets sick, but he's been working a lot this year. Won't slow down for nothing."

"Well, kids like Jake and Bella have solid work ethic," Charlie replied, "but work ethic doesn't include making yourself sick. He's too young to be breaking his back at a job, don't you think, Billy?"  
I watched as Billy shrugged and sighed. "The boy is stubborn as a mule. He's as tough as one, too. Most the time, anything I say goes in one ear and out the other."

"Have you tried, you know, mentioning something to him, Bells?" Charlie met my gaze with genuine concern. "What's the rush? Doesn't he want to finish school?"

"Jacob feels…" I hesitated before saying, "Jacob wants to help, Dad. You know how he is. He's good with people. Sam and the rest do what others can't do."

"Yeah." Charlie muttered, "I know. Only trying to help."

"I know," Billy replied in a low voice, "but things are different here than Forks."

Charlie eyed his friend oddly and asked, "Are we back to that again?"

"Now, I don't want any arguments, Charlie." Billy replied tiredly, "I appreciate your advice, you know that. Jacob has responsibility here and he sees to it like a good man should. He'll be running things on the rez long after we're both cold in the dirt, Charlie. The responsibilities won't wait or get any easier with time."

"Alright," Charlie grumbled, "Just make sure the kid rests before he falls out. You're both the ones telling me he likely has the flu."

"As soon as he's done with today's agenda," Billy said, "I've no doubt he will take some time to sleep."

Charlie munched on another piece of pizza. I stood up and plated a piece for myself, but only managed to nibble at it. The cardboard box went into the refrigerator. I poured a glass of water and brought it to Billy along with a sleeve of saltine crackers. He and Charlie were talking quietly amongst themselves in between commercials on the television. Billy thanked me. I sat down while casting looks out the nearby window every few moments. It was a pointless situation because there was nothing but blackness to see. I wondered how we were to convince Charlie to stay here tonight. I wondered what Jacob and the other wolves were doing. Were they fighting with Victoria? Had they even found her and her allies? Where were the Cullens? Were they safe from harm? Had anybody successfully tracked the enemy?

At half past eight o'clock, Charlie stood up and lumbered across the den. He was rinsing out a cup at the sink. I could tell by his movements that he was planning on leaving. I stood up, shooting an anxious glance at Billy, before darting down the hallway. I slammed the bathroom door and knelt on the floor just as I heard Charlie's worried voice call out, "Bella?"

I made a gagging noise and hoped it sounded authentic. I flushed the toilet and waited with baited breath. I heard the low murmur of voices followed by Charlie's hefty footsteps. There was a soft knock on the door. I gagged again before turning on the sink. Water ran with a trickling sound. I could just hear Billy saying, "Why don't you leave her here, Charlie? Sue will be stopping by early morning last I heard."

Charlie sighed, "No. I ought to get her home. I can drop her off in a couple days to pick up the truck."  
I winced right before cupping water in my hands and standing above the toilet bowl. I gagged much louder this time and let the water drop into the toilet. It made a thick, splashing sound. I waited as Billy said, "You don't need to miss work. Sue can give her a look over in the morning. No sense in spreading the germs to you."

There was a pause. I flushed the toilet again and moaned, "Sorry, Dad."

"It's okay." He called back, "Do you need anything?"

"I-I don't know." I said, "I think I'm going to be here a while. Sorry, Billy."

"Don't worry yourself, Bella." He called out in a raspy voice that reminded me heavily of his son. I slowly sat down while leaning my head against the lip of the tub. The surface was cold against my skin. Tears were threatening to leak out, so I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I could hear the drone of voices and then Charlie's feet as they disappeared from the hallway. "No, Billy, I work in the morning. You both need rest. I'll bring by some of her clothes in the morning."

A few moments later, there was the creaky sound of the front door closing. I stayed in the bathroom a second longer before darting out and demanding, "Why did you let him leave?"

Billy shrugged, "If we act out of the norm, he would become suspicious and demand explanations. With everyone patrolling, including the other vampires, Charlie's as safe as can be in this situation."

"Not if Victoria slips through the cracks." I insisted with tears in my eyes. Billy's expression was grave as he replied, "Life isn't safe, Bella. What would you have us do? Tell him the truth? He would certify us both as insane."

I shook my head and snapped, "A vampire nearly killed me days ago. He slipped right through the patrol line."

With that, I rushed to the front door and threw it open. Charlie's cruiser was gone. With my heart in my throat, I darted down the porch steps. Billy was hollering from behind me. "Bella! Bella, get back inside. You can't leave our territory. Bella."

I ignored him and made it to my truck. I cranked the engine, put the truck in drive, and lumbered my way down the muddy lane. My mind was racing quickly. I had to think of a reason to get Charlie back to La Push. Maybe I could tell him that Billy was taking a turn for the worse. Maybe I could claim I was feeling ill enough that I needed to go to the hospital in which case Carlisle could easily watch over Charlie within the building as I was being seen to.

The darkness felt as if it was creeping in on me as I drove. The rain was nothing more than a drizzle, but visibility was still poor. I didn't see any other headlights along the way to Forks. I had half-hoped I could flag Charlie's cruiser down even though I knew that would only alarm him. When I pulled into the driveway next to the cruiser, I nearly slipped in my haste to exit the truck. I slammed the door and jogged up the porch steps. By the time I made it inside, Charlie was coming down the staircase with a deep frown. His hair was wet and he wore a gray T-shirt and blue cotton pajama pants. He asked, "Bells? What are you doing home? Are you okay?"

"Dad, I…" I gulped and realized I had no idea what to say. There was no excuse or tale at the tip of my tongue. I blinked rapidly. He said, "I don't like the look of you. Seems you're fevered. C'mon. Get into bed. I'll bring up water and fever-reducer."

"O-Okay." I stuttered and reluctantly climbed the staircase. The house was cold and it seemed Charlie had only just turned the central heating on when he got home. I bit my lip as I sat on the edge of my bed. I wondered where Jacob was. I wondered if Billy had somehow contacted him. I wondered if I had messed up their schedule or plans. Likely, I had. After all, I knew I was meant to be in La Push. I felt guilt for potentially causing further stress on Jacob, the pack, and the Cullens, but I couldn't come to regret leaving La Push. Charlie needed protection, too. My being at home meant Billy would contact a wolf. And a wolf would inform Jacob. That would mean he or someone would be stationed outside my house soon. Charlie would be safe and that was what was most important.

I was still thinking heavily when Charlie knocked on the edge of my opened bedroom door. He eyed me carefully as he set a cup of water, a pack of crackers, and a bottle of over-the-counter medicine on my desk. He cleared his throat and said, "Wake me if you need me. See you in the morning, Bells."

"Goodnight." I replied. As he walked out of the room, I blurted, "I love you."

He paused, glanced over his shoulder, and blushed. He said, "Er, love you too."

I sighed heavily and stood up. Once he was in his bedroom just down the hallway, I closed my door and locked it. I paced in a circle for a few moments, debating if I should call Billy to let him know I arrived home unharmed. I would have continued pacing had a shadow not fallen across the floorboards. A cold gust filtered through the room. I glanced up, mouth opening to speak, but it wasn't Jacob crawling through my window. It wasn't anyone I recognized.

With my heart stuck in my throat, my body grew still. Air got caught in my lungs. I didn't dare blink. The figure was perched like a bird of prey might. I knew immediately that it was a male due to the broad shoulders. Short, golden hair was curled near his ears. He had full, rounded cheeks and a sharp chin. Pink lips were pulled up in a smile. If not for the piercing red eyes, I would have described him as angelic. His voice was smooth when he quietly greeted, "Hi. I'm Riley. You must be Bella. I've been wanting to meet you for some time now."

I swallowed heavily and croaked, "Where's Victoria?"

"Oh, don't worry." He gave another charming smile as he replied, "I'll be taking you to here shortly."

"Okay." I spoke unevenly, "Let's go. I'm ready."

"So eager." Riley chuckled, "Just as well. I don't much want to kill the old man. He's ignorant of his daughter's faults and killing him would be unfair, I think. He isn't the one who has wronged Victoria. You are."

A shaky breath released from my frozen lungs. I nodded gratefully. Riley said, "Come here. Don't be shy, yes, just step forward. I don't wish to be rude, but I'm going to have to carry you."

My legs were shaking as I stumbled across my bedroom floor. My eyes were darting around as if looking for escape or memorizing the familiar walls one last time. I inhaled sharply and abruptly came to a halt when icy fingers wrapped around my waist. Flinching, I closed my eyes. Riley picked me up and cradled me like an infant. The feel of his cold fingers on my hips, no matter how briefly they had been there, made me want to vomit. I tried swallowing, but my throat was suddenly dry. My heart was hammering laboriously, but it skipped several beats when Riley launched himself out of my window and halfway across the lawn within a single leap.

A wheezing, choking sound left my throat as my body was jarred from the impact. It felt as if my bottom and back had smacked against pavement, but it was only the granite-like arms of a vampire. Riley moved from tree to tree with such speed that I was forced to keep my eyes closed. The flashes of black and dark green had me swallowing bitter bile. In my mind, I pushed aside thoughts of Jacob. Charlie was going to live. He was going to live and even though I was to die, he was safe. I only hoped everyone else I knew would live as well.

I smelled rain, mud, and pungent soil. The air was icy-cold on my skin as Riley moved at such high speeds. The night was silent, as far as I could tell, except for the whistle of wind in my ears. I tried counting the seconds in my mind, but I was curiously blank now that I knew the situation was coming to an end. There would be no more sleepless nights. No more restless days. No more innocent lives lost to death or supernatural destinies. No more exhausted patrolling. And with those kind realizations came horrendous ones. With my death, Charlie would lose his only daughter. His only family. With my death, Jacob would lose his best friend. His lover.

I would have liked to believe that Jacob would move on after grieving me. Maybe he would have, had we both been normal humans in a normal world. If he hadn't been a werewolf and I hadn't captured the attention of vampires. If all was right and we were both ignorant to monsters, but that wasn't us. Not anymore. Somewhere along the line, Jacob had decided his life's purpose was to make sure I lived. Without that purpose fulfilled, I was certain Jacob would be very lost. I knew he would blame himself for failing to protect me. I hoped Billy and the pack would be reason enough for Jacob to continue on. Underneath the stress of the supernatural world, Jacob was sunshine. And the world couldn't survive without sunshine.

My cheeks, nose, and lips were numb by the time the whistling of the wind stopped howling in my ears. The unfamiliar chest pressed against my back and shoulder felt like a block of ice. My feet were dropped to the ground and I stumbled, arms wheeling about, but two hands caught at my wrists and gripped. Hard. I winced and blinked rapidly as my eye adjusted. The sky was dark and the moon was nothing more than a sliver of weak light. I squinted, glancing around. Shadows were towering above me from three sides. Trees.

I wanted to speak, to ask questions, but I remained silent. I licked my lips and slowly tucked my arms across my chest when Riley released me. I hadn't realized he had moved until a gust of cold wind blew across my face. Gasping, I startled and whipped my head in the direction that I saw a swift shadow moving. Suddenly, he was standing beside me again. He murmured, "She should have been here by-"

Riley's quiet voice was cut off by a hair-raising growl. He stiffened and inhaled sharply. My head turned in the general direction of the sound, but all I saw was blobs of darkness. I swallowed heavily and had taken a single step when steel bands were clamping around my shoulders. I yelped loudly.

"I'll snap her neck!" Riley shouted. I winced as he pulled me about as if I was a rag-doll. "If you attack, I'll make damn sure the human is bitten first."

There was the rustling of brush. I squinted into the darkness, but the hold on my shoulders kept me from being able to maneuver much at all. My heart thundered loudly when I caught sight of a huge, hulking shadow. A wolf. Definitely a wolf. Riley was moving quickly, but not as fast as I knew vampires could. He yanked me roughly until the back of my body was flush to his front. He called out, "Where is she? Where is Victoria? Tell me now or the girl is dead."

There was the slightest of pauses. He hissed in my ear, long and low, as a pale figure appeared out of the darkness. Edward's face and voice were both perfectly calm as he greeted, "Riley."

"Don't come any closer, Cullen." Riley snapped, "I mean it."

"Listen to me, Riley." Edward replied, "You were meant to be a deterrent. She knew I could read minds. I knew her plan only seconds after she sent you on your way. She knows how swift I am and that I would catch you."

"No." Riley growled, "No, you're a manipulator. She told me about you and your family. About the freaky powers you all have. She told me how your coven acts so oddly and denies others of our kind friendship. You lie."

"You're intelligent." Edward spoke urgently now. There were numerous growls, but they echoed oddly as if they were coming from far away. "Think logically. You have been suspicious of Victoria for some time. She is a strategist, Riley. You know this. I can hear it in your mind. She knows you love her and she used that against you. Victoria has been using you from the beginning."

Another hiss escaped Riley's mouth. I shivered and bit my lip to keep from yelping as his hold became even tighter. What pain was almost unbearable was now racing toward truly unbearable. I choked on a scream. Edward's golden eyes glanced anxiously at me. His voice was hard when he said, "Let Bella go, Riley. It is only a matter of time before my family and the wolves finish destroying the newborn army. They will rip you to pieces soon after. Just let Bella go and I will allow you freedom."

Riley laughed, but the sound was wet and pitiful. "You think you could win against me, Cullen?"

"Yes," Edward replied firmly, "but my interference isn't necessary."

Beneath the terror, I felt a moment of confusion. And then, I was thrown forward with horrendous momentum that jolted my entire body like a lightning bolt.


	34. Chapter Thirty Three

My vision went dim and my ears were ringing. Distantly, I heard and felt myself grunt as icy arms slammed into my torso and hauled me upright. I couldn't breathe.

"Bella?"

"Bella, stay awake." The voice was a low melody that I knew I should have recognized. I pried my eyes open as I felt myself being lowered. Edward's wintery face came into my blurry view. I groaned, "Edward?"

The wet ground beneath my bottom was vibrating and it took me a moment to realize it was because of the commotion occurring just beyond the darkened trees. There were hefty thumps, thundering crashes and the intense sound of splintering wood. I heard a high-pitched yelp and then Edward quickly said, "I must help him. Stay here, Bella."

One trembling hand was pressed against my temple, which was pounding with a deep, raw headache. My neck felt as if it couldn't hold the weight of my own head. My eyes were heavy and didn't want to remain open. My opposite hand fumbled along the cold, wet leaves upon the forest floor. My fingertips crawled up the tree trunk at my back. I used the support to help me stand. My eyes squeezed shut as the world around me spun. I breathed deeply and it was then that I realized I was swallowing convulsively in an attempt to keep from vomiting.

I had been injured and sent to the hospital enough times to know the symptoms of a concussion. The blow from behind must have been someone attacking Riley, although no amount of thinking helped me recall seeing who initiated the attack. From the sounds of yipping and yelping, I assumed it was a wolf. Where had Edward gone? _I must help him._ Where were the other wolves? Where was Edward's family? Were they all still fighting Victoria and her army? If so, where was this fight taking place? How long until someone came to aid Edward and the unknown wolf?

My eyes snapped open as I heard the unmistakable cry of Edward in pain. It was a guttural shout. My chest heaved in shallow pants as I stumbled away from the meager protection of my tree. My feet were heavy and awkward, but I ran through the forest blindly. I was disoriented not just because of my blurry vision, but because of the echoing sounds of fighting raging all around me. The darkness only made it worse. More than once, there was the sting and bite of wooden limbs against my face as I ran. There was an odd squeaking noise like metal grating against metal. Following that was a long-drawn wail and a deep growl. I heard Edward hiss loudly, "Hold him still, Seth."

Turning abruptly to the left, where the sound of his voice was loudest, I rushed forward and stubbed the toe of my shoe on a fallen log. My knees and palms scraped against twigs and rocks as I fell. I glanced up immediately and saw a break in the brush of trees. There was a small clearing, not quite big enough to be considered a meadow. A sandy-colored wolf was pinning Riley to the ground. The vampire was struggling madly. His limbs moved so rapidly that he was nothing more than an eerie blur. One arm was ripped off and twitching upon the ground just out of reach. I swallowed heavily and gagged.

Edward, who had been dancing about just behind Seth, glanced in my direction. His face was sharp and contorted as he hissed, "You never listen, Isabella."

He turned back to the struggle and darted down, grabbing at Riley's left leg. He gave a great yank as Riley threw his head back and screeched. There was a wet, squeaky noise as Edward ripped his leg off from the knee down. The shriek of pain grew hoarse before tapering off as the wolf lunged for Riley's throat and tore it out. I stared, trembling on the forest floor, as the vampire and wolf duo went about breaking the body apart. Edward firmly said, "Put all the pieces in a pile. Stand guard."

He turned to me and started walking forward very slowly. Gulping, I scrambled off of my palms and took my full weight on my knees. There was a flickering frown on Edward's face. He stopped walking and called out, "I won't hurt you, Bella."

I heaved myself to my feet and took a shaky step backward. I nearly tumbled right over the same rotten log that had made me fall the first time. Edward sighed heavily, "Bella, I know how frightened you must be. You're injured. You're in shock, but we have no time for this. Please, put down the rock before you hurt yourself."

Startled, I raised my fist. It took a long moment to see beyond the double-vision. There was a sharp, jagged stone in my hand. I felt my eyes stinging with tears as I focused on Edward once more. He was much closer than he had been before. He said, "I must bring you to a different location. I'm going-"

Edward gasped, golden eyes widened in surprise, and he shouted, "No!"

A pale blur darted forward and, for a single second, I thought he meant to attack me. I stumbled and fell backward. There was the sound of two clashing boulders that echoed behind me as I rolled to my side. I desperately searched for Edward through blurry vision. Shapes. Shadows. Fast-moving figures. Red hair. I pressed myself deeply into the cold, wet dirt as Edward and Victoria fought. I couldn't keep up with their movements. I suspected I wouldn't have been able to even had it been daylight and I hadn't been seeing double. They were too fast for human eyes.

Hisses, snarls, and wiry growls shot off through the night air like bullets from a gun. The two vampires rolled, ducked, dodged, and weaved through the trees like dolphins dancing through water. It was a strangely hypnotizing dance. At some point, although I had no sense of time, I became aware of the fact that Edward wasn't gaining the upper hand against Victoria. Neither was Seth, the sandy-colored wolf, joining to aid him. More than once, I heard Victoria's bubbly laugh and tinkling voice mocking Edward, but I couldn't comprehend her words because she spoke so swiftly.

Quite abruptly, Edward was falling from a tall tree and twisting in the air to land solidly on the balls of his feet. He was straightening up when Victoria landed on his back. The surprise of the attack sent him to his knees with a loud grunt. Victoria was laughing, tossing her wild red hair, as she coiled her limbs around him like a snake. Her little arms were pulling on his neck, winching his head at an odd angle. With sudden clarity, I realized she was going to pull his head from his body. She was going to decapitate Edward.

I lurched to my feet, put the sharp rock to my arm, and raked the tip across the soft flesh of my inner elbow. Blood welled up in vivid crimson drops. Glancing up, I saw Victoria hanging off of Edward's back with both palms cupped against his chin. He was forced into a C-shape. Cracks were spreading across his neck and cheeks like aged pavement. Edward's golden eyes turned in my direction. His expression was haunted. Pleading. Scared. Angry. With fumbling fingers, I switched hands until the rock was pressed against the skin of my other arm. With a wince, I dragged the rock downward in a slicing motion.

Droplets welled just as brightly as the first time. I struggled to line up the rock again. I pushed, felt the sharp sting, and pulled with all my might. This time, the rock slipped from wet fingertips. I blinked, body swaying, as red ran against white. "Victoria." I croaked, "Victoria. Look."

I didn't glance in their direction again, but instead gazed at my blood dripping upon the dark soil. Splatters dotted my shoes. I decided I didn't want to see Edward's face. I didn't want to think of all the pain we had caused each other. I didn't want to think of fault and blame. I didn't want to feel shame, guilt, or regret anymore. I whispered, "Kill me. Just kill me and leave him alone. Leave them all alone."

I never heard a reply to my last wish. There were no sounds. No shrieking or hissing. No angry howls. No crying or beating of hearts. No laughter. There were no colors, either. No midnight blue sky. No golden stares or ruby-red irises. No crimson droplets on petal-fair skin. No raven hair. No russet fur or mocha eyes. There were no feelings. Just blankness. I found that dying was incredibly peaceful.


	35. Chapter Thirty Four

"What would the gossip mill, and her father, have to say if they saw her self-inflicted injuries, especially when considering her current physical state, which, depending on her choices, will be very noticeable soon?" A smooth voice echoed.

"What in the fu-" A hard voice was interrupted by the first, "You must admit that this situation looks bad from an outsider's perspective. She is covered in bruises and has cuts across her arms. Most of her classmates are aware that you and she have carried on with a close relationship over the last six months. That, along with her blood test results, make for a sordid tale."

There was a stream of swear words. The cool voice continued on as if the other had not spoken at all. "If Carlisle had not taken Bella's chart from the on-duty nurse, the gossip would have already spread like wild fire. It would leave a bad impression for you both, but most certainly for her. If discretion is not enough to persuade you, allow me to ask you this. Would you truly have us leave, Carlisle leave, before she is properly healed? You would leave her injuries to those with lesser experience than my father's three-hundred years simply out of spite?"

"No," A hot voice snapped, "I think I was pretty damn clear about what I want, bloodsucker. I want you out of here. Stop hovering over her like a creep. Daddy Doc can stay. You need to go."

The first voice said, "I will stay until she is healed and we have spoken. If nothing else, I wish to speak with her one last time."

"There _is_ nothing else," The second voice gruffly replied, "although you keep waiting around for more. It isn't going to happen, douche bag. She's through with you, which she's already told you."

"I am well aware of what she has, and has not, told me." His voice was like ice now as he frostily stated, "You weren't there. You didn't see her or hear her words. She saved me from Victoria. I…I must speak to her once more. That is all."

"You're still trying to win her back," The second voice huffed, "but she isn't a prize and this isn't a game. Do you really think she would have been intimate with me if she didn't love me, if she wasn't absolutely certain I am who she wants? Bella isn't the kind of girl to have casual sex."

"No, she isn't." The first voice replied softly, "You're wrong, however, because she is certainly the ultimate prize in life. I was stupid. I had her until…"

The second voice bluntly said, "Don't expect me to feel pity for you, asshole. You did this to yourself. I'm glad for it. If you hadn't been a dumbass, Bells would be dead and frozen by now."

"Do you think so?" The first voice quietly asked.

The second snorted, "I know so. Bella gives her all. She would have joined your coven in some misguided attempt to prove herself to you."

"And her predicament now?" The cool tone was hard. "This recklessness. Is this her _misguided attempt_ at proving herself to you?"

There was a rumble. I felt a strange vibration in my chest. It echoed throughout my body as the second voice snarled, "Don't try to twist this to be something it isn't. You're demented, you know that, Cullen? Life is unpredictable at times. It happens. I'm not ashamed and Bella won't be, either. Scared, hell yes. Worried, absolutely. Maybe even irritated, but she's determined. She's smart. She's brave. She can take care of herself and everybody else, too. Hell, she's a natural nurturer."

There was a pause before Jacob said, "You always underestimated her. That was your biggest downfall, idiot."

I heard no more for a long time. Eventually, I became aware of the slow and steady beep of a machine. The smell of antiseptic was sharp in my nose. There was constriction on my legs, but they did nothing when I tried to move them. I tried to reach down, but a dull pinching in my hand had me groaning. It took considerable effort to pry my hefty eyelids open. Despite the dimly lit room, I still had to blink several times to bring my surroundings into focus. As I stared at a blank, white wall, I heard a familiar snore. I looked to the right and saw a pair of big, broad shoulders slumped in a plastic chair.

My first impression, through blurry eyes, was russet skin and raven hair. I opened my mouth and tried to speak. My throat worked, but nothing more than a dry squawk emerged. Licking my dry lips, I reached out and was instantly yanked back into place. Glancing at my hand, I followed the line of the clear tube until I was staring at a plastic bag hanging from a hook. An IV drip. White walls. White linens. Antiseptic. I was in the hospital.

Memories came rushing back to me like water crashing through a beaver's dam. Ruby-red eyes. Shadows. Growling. Wolves. Vampires. Crimson droplets. I gasped and winced as the sound caused my throat to feel aflame. The loud snores suddenly cut off. I turned my head and watched with heavy eyelids as Jacob sat up. He smacked his lips and blinked vaguely. His expression abruptly became frenzied. Dark eyes darted to and fro as he frantically took in my image. He looked as if he wanted to cry. Jacob leaned forward and brushed shaking fingertips across my cheek.

His eyes were glassy as he choked, "Bells. Honey."

"Is everyone okay?" I whispered roughly, "Victoria?"

"Yeah," He nodded and quickly explained, "Everyone's fine now."

"Dead?" I croaked. His fingertips pressed against my chapped lips before falling away. Jacob nodded and echoed, "Dead."

My eyes closed in relief. I nodded. There was the rustle of fabric and the clank of ceramic. I opened my eyes to see him halfway across the patient-room. He was pouring water from a pitcher to a small cup. He brought it to my bedside and slowly tilted the offering to my lips. I drank slowly until there was nothing left. Jacob asked, "Better? More?"  
I shook my head and mumbled, "Better. Thanks. Where's Charlie?"

"He's safe," Jacob replied, "He woke up and went to work. From my understanding, he thought you were staying home from school and still sleeping when he left for work this morning. One of the boys picked up your truck and drove it my house around mid-afternoon to make it seem like you had come to visit. At the time, you and I were at the Cullen mansion. Carlisle was looking you over. He decided you need a CT scan and bloodwork done. When we checked you into the hospital, we figured somebody would call Charlie. We came up with a story and called him first."

"What's the story?" I asked with a sigh. Jacob fluffed the pillows behind my head and patted them wordlessly. I leaned back on my elbows and waited.

Jacob muttered reluctantly, "That you were riding your motorcycle and crashed. You cut yourself up on rocks at the beach. You've got a concussion from the fall."

My eyes opened wide. I stared at him with my jaw-dropped. I finally snapped, "Damnit, Jacob. He's going to blow a fuse. He hates motorcycles."

"I didn't know how else we could explain both our injuries." He sighed, "I thought about telling Charlie we were in a car crash, but that would mean we would have to rough up your truck. And we would have had to fake a whole scene. It seemed easier with-"

"What do you mean both our injuries?" I abruptly demanded, "What's wrong with you? Are you okay? Where are you hurt?"

"I'm okay." He insisted and bent over me as I struggled to sit up again. Jacob almost touched my shoulder before pulling back. He huffed impatiently, "Stop moving about. I mean it, Bella. I can't touch you because you're one, big bruise. Just lie still."

"Where are you hurt?" I demanded belligerently. I glared at him while ignoring his expression of pure irritated exasperation. Jacob rolled his eyes before pulling up the edge of his T-shirt. There was a series of mottled, blackened bruises decorating his ribs and stomach. I could see fading bruises, a starburst of purple and dark yellow, along his jawline. There was a long, pink scrape at his throat. The knuckles on his right hand were swollen and crusted with blood as if he had hit a solid object.

"Oh, Jacob…" I murmured wetly. He leaned down and pressed a gently kiss to my forehead before whispering, "Don't cry. We're both okay, honey. Everyone is alive and well. This can all be in the past now."

I sniffled, "So, Charlie thinks we were riding at the beach?"

"Yeah," He replied regretfully, "I had Embry and Quil bang up the bikes a bit. Scratch the paint. Dent the metal. Just about killed them to do it, but I wanted proof."

"Might as well let one of them have mine." I sighed, "Charlie is going to freak out. He's going to ground me for life. Well, try to, at least."

"Sorry, honey." Jacob said with a sad smile. He sat back down in the plastic chair and scooted as close to the bedside as he could get. He reached out and gingerly plucked up my hand. He held it together between both of his warm palms before asking, "Is the pain too much? I can call Doctor Vamp."

"I'm fine." I shrugged and let out a croaked cry. "Oh, God. Really, I'm fine if I don't move too much."

"That fucking leech bruised your collarbones. There's minor muscle damage, too. Doc told me he would show you a series of exercises that would help heal you as quickly as possible."

I closed my eyes and hummed under my breath as I listened to Jacob's husky voice. He said, "Your head worried me the most, but Doc says it's a mild concussion. Your arms gave me a scare the moment I saw you. Damn, Bells. You know how to make an impression. I just about passed out. You didn't need a ton of stitches like I thought you would. The Doc only put in six at the deepest part of one of the cuts."

I was frowning as I said, "Jacob…?"

"Yeah, honey? What's wrong?" He replied worriedly.

"What were you and Edward talking about?" I asked.

The pause was minimal, but I could feel his hesitation. I whispered, "Tell me."

"What did you hear?" He asked quietly.

"Blood tests. My chart. Gossip." I replied after a moment. "What did it mean?"

Jacob sighed, "I think we should wait until you're healed up."

"No." I replied firmly. I opened my eyes and glared at him. He shook his head and said, "I'm not trying to keep anything from you, Bells. You know me. I've always been up front with you. This is just something that will only stress you out right now."

"So what?" I retorted, "As if I'm not already stressed out."

"That's kinda my point, Bella." Jacob replied with a snort and a roll of his eyes. He took in my fierce expression and whispered, "I don't want…"

"You don't want what?" I asked nervously as I licked my lips. Suddenly, he was frowning as he met my eyes. I asked, "Me? You don't want me?"

He was stunned for a moment before he brought my hand to his mouth. He kissed each of my fingertips before fiercely stating, "Don't be silly. I always want you, Bella Swan."

"Then, what?" I asked so desperately that my voice cracked. I watched as Jacob visibly swallowed. His mocha gaze searched my face before saying, "Are you sure you can't wait another few hours until I get you home before we talk about this?"

"No." I slowly replied, "I need to know now."

"I love you." He said simply. My heart was beating quickly. The machine from the bedside was beeping rapidly. Jacob's eyes flickered to the screens before he brought his gaze back to my face. He sighed heavily. I braced myself. Jacob slowly said, "Honey, you and I…well, we…you're pregnant, Bells."

I blinked. His thumb was softly brushing against my hand. He watched me as I watched him. I breathed, "What?"

He licked his lips and repeated, "You're pregnant, Bells."

I gulped, "That's not possible."

He chuckled, "You know it is completely possible."

"We…it was…" I choked on my words, "Too soon to know that."

"Bloodwork came back positive, Bella." Jacob replied somberly. I could feel his fingertips trembling as they continued a slow sweep over my hand. He blurted, "I know you aren't really into the whole marriage and kid thing. I get it, Bells, I do. This isn't what I expected, either. I was, am, completely willing to go with whatever you're most comfortable with. We don't have to…um…"

He released my hand and ran both of his through his hair in agitation. He said and looked at the floor before saying, "Hell, Bella. I'll try to respect whatever choice you make. You're a grown woman. You make your own decisions and I totally get that having a kid when you're so young would be tough. I know neither of us have any idea what we're doing in life and I'm saddled with this wolf thing for right now, but I need you to know, as much as the timing isn't ideal, I want this with you. Only you. Always have. Always will."

I swallowed heavily and croaked, "What…?"

"I just can't imagine anyone else ever being the mother of my child." Jacob whispered and slowly met my eyes, "I know you need to think about all of this, but I need you to know I want…the baby. I want what we've created together. I'd be willing to spend all of my time creating everything with you. Kids. Home. Family. Memories. The works. I hope, once you think on it, you do too."

I stared. There was steady thumping. Jacob glanced at the door a moment before it was thrown open. It bounced back and nearly hit Charlie in the shoulder as he stumbled into the room. His wide eyes took in my bruised, but alive form. His eyes became slits as he glared at me. A vein in his forehead grew rather prominent and his skin took on an unhealthy purple hue. He stomped to the end of the bed without sparing Jacob a single glance. He stated harshly, "Isabella Marie Swan."

I swallowed heavily and blinked at him. He demanded, "How many times have I told you to stay away from motorcycles? For crying out loud, what made you decide to get on a motorcycle of all things, Bella? You're lucky you aren't dead. I'm damn lucky I'm not scraping my daughter's remains up off the side of the road."

I winced heavily as Charlie swung his glare in Jacob's direction. If I wasn't so incredibly shocked, I would have laughed at Jacob's hulking form cringing away from my father. Charlie pulled the belt of his uniform up higher and stated boldly, "I thought you smarter than this, Jake. You best believe I'll be suggesting to Billy you should be punished as heavily as Bella will be."

"Char-" Jacob was cut off as Charlie firmly stated, "No. I trusted you, Jake. Kids do silly things, but this was grossly dangerous. I thought my girl was safe with you because you're a level-headed kid, but I was obviously very wrong. Now-"

"I _am_ safe with him." I loudly declared as I struggled to sit up. Jacob was instantly at my side with his big hands fluttering beside me anxiously. I pushed at his elbow and glared sharply at my father. I stated, "The bikes were my idea from the start. Jake was reluctant after he saw me wobbling on the thing, but I insisted. This is my fault, not his. You blame me, not him."

Charlie opened his mouth to argue, but I waved in Jacob's direction and demanded, "Look at him, Charlie. He hurt himself trying to protect me."

For the first time, Charlie hesitated and seemed to really assess Jacob's profile. He took in the shadowed bruises across the jawline. Wincing, I lunged forward and yanked up the edge of Jacob's shirt even as he offered a protest. Charlie winced in sympathy at the blackened bruises covering the entirety of Jacob's torso and ribs. He hesitantly asked, "Damn, Jake, have you been checked over for internal injuries? How did that happen?"

Jacob glanced at me as if trying to bide his time in order to come up with an excuse. I turned to Charlie and quickly stated, "My bike was going to land on me when I fell off. He jumped in the way and it slammed into his stomach instead."

Charlie cleared his throat after a pause and nodded his head in Jacob's direction. I watched as Jacob nodded back. Slowly, Jacob sat back down in the singular chair. Charlie came to the opposite side of the bed and sighed, "What's the damage?"

Jacob looked at me, but I only stared back at him blankly. He turned to Charlie and listed glumly, "Concussion. Bruises. Whiplash. Gashes on her arms from rocks on the ground. One of them needed stitches."

"Only a few stitches." I clarified, "And no broken bones."

Charlie said, "I'll go ask the front desk to speak to the doctor."

The moment the hefty door clicked shut, my eyes were pulled to Jacob's gaze like a blind man aching to turn to the brightly lit sky once more. My chest felt too small as if my lungs were shrinking. Slowly, a big and warm palm engulfed my own. He didn't speak. Only stared right back at me. It was a good thing because my mind was too blank to find words in reply. Eventually, the door opened.

Charlie and a nurse entered, both speaking in low voices. I hoped none of the staff knew about my predicament and informed him. There was such a thing as patient-confidentiality, and I was over eighteen years old, but this was a small town. And my father happened to be the sheriff. Most wouldn't hesitate to talk about such drama.

I listened with half-an ear, occasionally nodding, as the nurse asked me questions. She checked my bandages and stitches before giving me a cup of tepid water and a small handful of pills. Just before she walked out, the nurse said, "Dr. Cullen will be here to check on you in a few moments, dear."

I nodded again. The door closed. There was a hefty, awkward silence. Charlie shuffled at the foot of the bed. Jacob stood up and leaned against the too-white, brick wall and gestured to the plastic chair. Charlie plopped down and muttered, "Thanks."

Staring at my hands, my mind suddenly began to whirl with a muddled series of images and flashes. Wild, curly hair. Ruby-red eyes. Ivory skin cracking like broken pavement. Scrapes, brown with soil, on bloody palms. Howls. Yips. Sandy-brown fur and high-pitched shrieking. The metallic tang of blood as it runs crimson. Blackness.

Without consciously deciding so, my trembling hands folded themselves across my stomach. I stared at the delicate blue veins just beneath my fair skin. The stark black stitches were oddly entrancing. The clear tubes that ran through my veins were causing bruises like purple flowers blooming. I wondered how well they would match the sickly yellow-green bruises across my face.

I let out a half-laugh at the thought. The flat sound startled me and both of my companions. Jacob was tense in his shoulders. His arms were crossed and I could just see how his skin trembled just slightly. His face was like an incoming storm- dark and flat. Mocha eyes showed me fear. And I hated that.

Tearing my gaze from him, I turned to my father. Charlie was trying to seem as if he wasn't watching me. He was frowning with worry shining so clearly in his eyes. I had never realized, until that moment, that his gaze was calming to me. His orbs were a medium-toned brown. Too big eyes. Chocolate eyes. Familiar eyes. I had inherited those from him. If not for the crinkles at the corners, Charlie's would be identical to my own. _Would a baby, my baby, have our eyes?_

My breath stuttered. My throat felt dry. I tried to swallow, but nearly choked. Charlie was already moving to stand, but Jacob was quicker. He wordlessly poured another cup of water before handing it to me. He whispered, "Here, Bells."

I nodded and sipped. His gaze was heavy on me, but it only lasted a moment. Jacob retreated back to the corner of the hospital room. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, resuming his previous pose. I glanced at him to find him staring at the heavy boots on his feet. There was a thick frown marring his features. When his gaze lifted to meet mine, my eyes flickered away. I drained the cup and set it at my side. With a deep breath, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth. _A baby. His. Mine. Ours. There was a baby inside of me._

I couldn't look up to see if Jacob was watching. My cheeks heated terribly as I wondered, hoped, that the baby would look like Jacob. Look and act like him, preferably. There wasn't much desirable about myself. It was then, as half of my mind began hoping and the other half began planning, that I knew what I would do. More importantly, I knew what I wouldn't do.


End file.
